Hello! I'm Danielle. I'm also a proud Ravenclaw and SBBC-ling (and newbie SPEW-er).
Also, almost all of my fics were written pre-DH so please check the date...I swear that I wasn't just ignoring canon :)
Hello there! I just read this for the SBBC. First of all, your story so far is quite lovely! The first part is adorable, especially the scene with Ginny. My critique: I think Ron seems a bit out of character. Like he's lost a bit of his spark, you know? For example: in the scene with Ginny, when she's eating his cake, he could have at least feigned anger with her, and they could have bickered a bit. I do realize, however, that he is sad that he's about to leave.
Great story, very sweet!
Again, another great chapter! I think Ron was in character a bit more too :-)
Anyway...I loved what you did with Hermione...the pros and cons...references to exams...I love how you characterized her!
Three critiques: Hermione's parents' reactions don't seem to quite fit them. To me, it seems as if they almost shrug it off...
And, while I liked Molly's reaction, I think you could have said a bit more about her disapointment (dialogue would have been nice).
Also, sorry, but I don't really like the last line. It doesn't really seem to fit...after not seeing his family for that long, he says "This is my girlfriend" and not even a hello first...
Anyway, all in all, great chapter!
wonderful of course....
Author's Response: :-) I try my best.
I can't think of a word good enough to describe it! If it helps, I cried!
Author's Response: That says it all. Thank you.
Lovely. Both of it, I mean, I couldn't find any fault with either. And just curious, what will be the last chapter? How many after this one?
Author's Response: I think this was 29, and there\'s 34 in total. That makes 5 left in this book, and then there are 6 chapters in the final book. 11 all together!!!!
*speechless* I'm sorry, I personally despise short reviews myself, but I can't come up with anything other than that :-)
As someone else has said, I also read this fic to join the SBBC (though I just sent in the application!) So here you are, this is what I wrote in the application:
I thoroughly enjoyed this story, for both its moral and its bluntness about a topic as complex as this (though it is portrayed in a most uncomplicated way). Young Hermione’s wise view of the world at such a young age and not being afraid to speak her mind about a topic such as this is, and her speaking with the utmost frankness and compassion about a subject that seems truly important to her is unforgettable. On Kingsley’s part, his reluctance about helping a child—something he knows nothing about—is almost amusing, and gives a bit of a lighter undertone to the otherwise serious story. On a more important note though, Kingsley’s simple way to explain how he believes kindness and helpfulness truly affects the world influences Hermione, and will continue to influence her and her thoughts, her decisions, her actions, and overall, the world, gives Kingsley more depth to his character, despite his uncertainty about the subject.
I really enjoyed how “out in the open” the author was with the theme of this story (how a tiny act of kindness can effect the outcome of events for years to come, and in time, even affect the universe, something I believe we should all live by), for two main reasons. The first being that it saves us for having to sift through the story searching for hidden a meaning, which comes in handy in discussions such as these! Seriously though, I think its straight-forwardness really creates much more of an impact on the readers. Really getting the subject out in the open affects a person much more than--as I said earlier--having to dig for hidden meanings. The reader really understands the point the author is trying to prove. If it had been “covered up more” than it would be much less likely to really grab the reader’s attention, and therefore, not fully getting the theme across to the reader.
PS: I love Hermione's toothbrush comment! I had to re-read the story to get it at first (some Ravenclaw I am *rolls eyes at self). Her parents are dentists, you know! ;-)
Another soon to come please!
Wonderful! Sorry, but it's the only thing I can think of to say. It's well written, has a great plot, and leaves readers with a cliffhanger (darn! update soon...)
Sorry, but this is Sara Wood under a different name, and I asked you before if I was missing something because I didn't understand what happened with James, and I have read Phoenix Song, I swear! Maybe I missed a chapter...oh well, still confused.
Author's Response: Harry finds out about James being alive when he goes to Gringotts and reads Sirius\' will, when he goes back at christmas time to make out his own will and look over his accounts, he finds out that James is in Germany, just under a different name. On christmas he tell Ginny about his dad being alive and later leaves a letter to her in his will, (notice I didn\'t actually put the letter in the story, but I do mention it at some point at the end of phoenix song) this is how she knows where James. Hope that helped, I could give you the exact chapters but I\'d have to go back and look myself. :)
The POV doesn't matter to me as long as you write another chapter and post soon! Though Aska's mind might be interesting.
Yippee! Keep going! It's amazing. I really hope Harry returns to London...
Thanks for this! I really needed it, to get me in the holiday mood. Your writing is excellent, it flows very nicely. Very very sweet, congrats!
Oh wonderful! So intriguing and mysterious! I have a question though...Was Natalie an Auror/Secretary, because she was taking some of the Ministers calls...oh well, not important! It's a lovely story!
Author's Response: Yes, Natalie could moniter letters, apointments, calls, etc. if a wizard was planning to attack the muggle Prime Minister. Anyway, glad you like it!
Great! I really love Christine! Very interesting...
But why does Christine hate the Minister so much? Why is she determined to take down the Ministry? And when does Harry come into this?
Please update soon so I can find out! :-)
Author's Response: The reasons of why Christine hates the minister comes out of her prejudice against politicians, and reasons which are to be revealed later. Christine also finds several things wrong with the Ministry, things that she finds important enough to change. As for Harry, we will see him in th next chapter. :)
One of the most well-written humour fics I've read! One thing that really makes your writing stand out, is how clever it really is. Many humour stories I come across are, even though they are very funny, just a mixture of random things thrown together. But yours is a very interesting, funny, and neat idea!
I know what you mean about the randomness; many stories seem to be written like that. And I try to be more... for lack of a better term, organised.
Thank you for your encouraging review! I haven\'t had one for this story in quite a while now.
Author's Response: I\'m so glad you liked it. Thanks so much for letting me know! -Daisy
Wow. Speechless. And this is coming from an avid Hermione/Ron shipper! Your reasoning, your narrative, your wonderful insight into Hermione's head and keeping her so in character. Bravo.
Author's Response: Thank you, that really means a lot to me to know I was able to appease to the R/Hr crowd, I really did try on this one! Thank you so much for the nice review!
I promised you I would review! It won't be near as good as yours, or SPEW worthy or anything like that but...I'll give it my best shot.
Thoroughly original! I love missing moment/from someone's elses point of view scenes! It was very touching at the end. I also enjoy your style of writing, just the right amount of words, but the right words, you know? If that makes sense...
I also enjoyed your portrayal of Cedric, it fits him nicely. The only critique I have is maybe you could have gone on a bit more about how Cedric feels about death. I realize it would be hard though, as Cedric was never really given much time to think..
Anyway, dear, I look forward to reading more of your work!
PS: Ha, this is funny. Right as I was reading this, I also had my beloved HBO on to the GoF movie, and the maze scene has just started. Go figure.
Author's Response: SQUEE! THANK YOU, Danielle! I don\'t care if it\'s SPEW worthy or not, but this review meant a lot to me! I\'m glad you liked the story, and I\'ll take your concrit into consideration. ♥