This was really great. I particularly liked the idea of Voldemort having Severus punish Draco. Punish them both in one shot, that seems so like him. Really, really well done.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I do like to write Voldemort--I think because he\'s just such a classic baddy. :-D
Whoa! This was almost eerie like. I really enjoyed it. I loved your evil Tom. It was really well done. Very impressed. :D
Author's Response: Glad you liked it, Sly Severus! I enjoyed evil! Tom too. Thanks for reviewing :)
Well written, and well executed. I never expected to find myself reading about a Lucius/Severus pairing and enjoying it, but this is the second time I have done that with your work. Really well done.
Author's Response: Thank you once again! I am glad that you enjoyed this story as well. Gives me a happy feeling. :D Thank you for taking the time to both read and review my work! And I know, sometimes one finds pairings one never thought one would like, and then one ends up loving them after all. Funny, isn\'t it?
First of all, your opening paragraph was amazing. You immediately set the dark mood of the story. Even after reading the first sentence, I knew this was going to be a chilling story. Your description is remarkable.
You handled Dracoís character very well. He showed feelings towards his family, but remained IC at all times. You said it yourself, near the end of the story, he continued to think like a Malfoy.
'Your mother would have been proud, Draco. She'd have loved to see you return victorious...' the Dark Lord paused, 'as would your father.' This completely caught Draco off his guard, and he looked up into the scarlet eyes with cat-like slits for pupils. 'I'm afraid you are too late.' His hand left Draco's shoulder as he drifted behind the mysterious green fire.
This was eerie. I canít imagine this being the way Draco is told about his parentsí deaths. In this tiny paragraph the Dark Lordís cruelty shines through. I felt for Draco when reading this. His reaction was inevitable. Clearly, the Dark Lord had decided to kill him, rather or not he was successful in his mission. He must have known Draco could not continue to serve him, after his parentsí deaths.
Bellatrix, a woman known to have the grit of steel, was suddenly speechless as she looked at the innocence on her nephew's face. There was a lump in her throat that she couldn't gulp down.
I loved this. With this very brief statement, you have shown Bellaís human side. I have always believed that she truly loves her family. It would be very difficult for her to confirm for her nephew that his parents are dead. This paragraph showed her pain very well.
He glanced at his aunt. When everyone else had left him to die, she was the only one who came to him. She was crumpled in a heap, taking deep breaths. She's sleeping. Run Draco, run now and don't look back.
*cries* Bella clearly loves him and went to a lot of effort to find him. She is trying to keep him safe. If she wanted to hurt him, she would have turned him over to the Dark Lord right away. I donít understand why Draco would leave her like that. I know he is hurting and he wants out, but Bella is the only one he has left. Heís the only one she has left. It seems so wrong for him to just leave her like that. I canít imagine what she will feel when she wakes in the morning to find that he left and was killed.
You are a Malfoy. Malfoys can't just break down. He thought sternly. You are strong Draco, control yourself. But he couldn't help it; he slumped against the memorial and broke down into heavy tears.
This was amazing. It describes Dracoís character perfectly. It shows the things that Lucius would teach his son, and it shows that Draco took those things to heart. This was a wonderful summary of Dracoís entire character.
I do have a couple of nit-picks:
He swollen eyes suddenly jerked open. He should be His.
Unconscious, he could not fell being rolled down roughly in a dark corner, and being left there to die... Fell should be feel.
He tried getting up, ignoring the stinging pain in his back and stomach but his feet were wobbly, and he almost fell down again as got up on his feet. In this sentence you have used the word feet twice. I would consider revising to avoid this. Sentences get awkward and the flow is thrown off when a word is used twice in the same sentence.
Anyway, overall, I think this was a really good story. You showed Draco and Bella to be human, which they are, although it is often overlooked. Very well done.
This was really great. The flow was awesome! And I think you really captured Cornelius' feelings when he realized that he had totally screwed up. This was wonderful. One of the best poems I have ever read on here. :D
Author's Response: Thank you so much, hun! Knowing the company I hold, that\'s an exceptional compliment as a writer.
- Jacie the Cat
Very good way to choose courses. I think he should have taken Care of Magical Creatures, though. Just imagine the funny stories there could be involving Severus, Sirius, and something vicious and furry, other than werewolf Remus, of course!
Author's Response: And here I was pondering whether a story about Severus and something mad and hairy was coming on. He seems to be more in the mood for dark these days, so we\'ll see. *ponders* Thanks for reviewing!
Cool take on Severus' thoughts. He is such a great character, my all time favorite! You do really interesting things with him. Good work!
Author's Response: Yes, Snape is the best. :) Thanks very much!
Poor Sevy. He just never wins. Good story. Very entertaining.
That was really cute. I can't picture old Voldy with a teddy bear though. But it was still sad. Good job!
Author's Response: Thanks. I\'m glad you thought it was cute.
Cute. A very nice story about how the Ford Anglia came to be. Well done!
Author's Response: Thank you infinitely! :)
This was really good. I liked your reason for why Sirius laughed. Well done!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. =)
Very cute. Something always made me think that Lily and Hermione would have a lot in common. I like the idea of Hermione thinking of her as role model. Good Job!
Author's Response: Thanks! I\'m really glad you liked it.
Hehe! This was really cute. It really sounds like something Tonks would do. Good Job!
Author's Response: Thanks, Tonks is a troublemaker isn\'t she? I just wish there was a fic of her at Hogwarts...
I really enjoyed this. I followed a link, so I didn't know it was Ginny until I went and checked your summary. Actually, I thought it was Harry.
Anyway, I liked the style. It was quick to read and left a feeling of peace. Well done.
Author's Response: oh im glad you think it so good, thanks!
Awww...that sounds so much like I would envision James writing poetry. Good job!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I thought of the idea, and it just kind of... spilled onto the computer screen. I thought it sounded like James, too. ;)
Poor Narcissa. I totally agree that she is questioning her life now, and I don't think that she is very happy with it. I enjoyed reading this. I found it similar to my own Narcissa story. It's always nice to find someone with the same views. Good Job!
Author's Response: Thanks! Yes, it struck me how concerned Narcissa was with Draco -- that means she must be able to love, she must not have a cold heart. And so this appeared! *goes off to review your story, hehe*
Whoa! I loved it! It's nice to think that someone was watching over Severus from the very start.
The only thing that I noticed was you said they made Peter the secret keeper, but Dumbledore didn't make him the secret keeper. He didn't even know he had been the secret keeper until years later; he thought it was Sirius.
Anyway, I really did enjoy this. Good job!
Wonderful! I absolutly loved it.
Author's Response: thanks, Sly!
I really liked this. But I was confused at the end about which man she was seducing. I didn't figure it out until I read your response to the last review. Other than that, well done.
Author's Response: Is it really that unclear? *scratches head* Shall have to see about clarifying that, then. Glad you enjoyed. Thanks for reading!
Awww...poor Tonks. This was really fun to read. But I really did feel bad for Tonks.