Ah, so this is the summer of fifth year. Harryâ€™s starting to let his hatred of Bella show.
Oh yes, Dracoâ€™s a great spy. Letâ€™s just refuse the Dark Mark and spit on Voldyâ€™s favorite servant. That wonâ€™t draw attention to me at all. I love how smart these characters can be sometimes.
Awww, more adorable bickering. The shower thing was cute. Poor Draco. Iâ€™d have expected him to toss a pillow or something.
Iâ€™m a little surprised by how Hermione is turning out. Sheâ€™s usually more mature than the other kids, but she seems worse in this. Her feelings her hurt at everything, even Harry! I think her character could use a little tweaking. But the boys are pretty much flawless.
Cute. Although, Hermione seemed to recover from the Dark Mark rather quickly.
I liked the line about Lucius being clumsy. I can't imagine it, but I found it rather funny.
Very good chapter. :D
Interesting chapter. Our little Draco is getting a bit protective of his new friends. Thatâ€™s nice. Theyâ€™re going to be a force to be reckoned with as a group before long. I love watching these friendships develop.
Iâ€™m surprised by the amount of restraint Harry and Draco are showing in this chapter. At this stage in the books, neither of them seemed at all capable of that. The fact that they had Lucius and Bellatrix unaware and did nothing is a bit unbelievable. Very smart, but possibly too smart for pissed off Harry and Draco.
By the way, are Lucius and Bella an item in this story? They seem eerily close in this. You know, long ago I shipped them. Around book five, I think. Before we really got to meet Narcissa. Speaking of which, Iâ€™m still mad you.
And I see youâ€™ve decided to bring Ron into the story. Too bad. I was really enjoying the lack of Ron. Heâ€™s going to be a total asshat.
Another chapter of Safe Haven. :D Somehow, I really managed to become addicted to this fic. I love the way you write Draco. He seems so normal and human. There aren’t many fics out there that can portray him that way and still seem realistic. So good for you.
I also love the way you write the kids as a group. It’s so nice to see that they can all come around and become friends. A short time ago, Draco was the enemy—especially to Ron. I don’t see Ron as the forgiving sort, so it’s really refreshing to see him behave in such a mature manner towards Draco.
The part where Hermione was interrupted by Mrs. Weasley in the bathtub was cute as well. I liked how she thought it was Ron who would be inconsiderate enough to interrupt her, but then when she realized that it was his mother, she didn’t even consider it rude. I am really starting to wonder which of these boys you are planning to pair her with during this story.
Mrs. Weasley marvelled silently to herself about how handsome the boy could be when he wasn’t busy terrorizing other people.
I loved this line. It describes Draco so well. I’m sure when he’s with his parents, he’s very sweet, but at Hogwarts we always see him acting like a jerk.
One note on this quote though, marvelled is spelled wrong. It should be marveled.
I have a few other minor nitpicks as well :
He went to his favourite spot by the window in the study and sat next to the window gazing aimlessly out the window.
I would consider revising this sentence. You have used the word window three times and it sounds a bit awkward. Maybe something like: He sat in his favorite spot by the window in the study, gazing aimlessly outside.
This sentence ends here. I think you continued the sentence in the next paragraph, so this is probably just a spacing error.
Anyway, I enjoyed the chapter and I am enjoying the story as a whole. Good work, and I’ll be looking forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response: *smacks forehead* OMS, I can\'t believe I missed those... Your reviews are always welcomed, Elle. Thank you for taking time out to be so nice and such. You brightened my day (and my inbox) when I hear what you have to say about my work. You excel in being gentle but to the point. Thank you! *huggles* ~Nicole
Oh God, Hermione. Death Eaters invaded my house, they might be after my parents, and I left Draco and Harry alone with them, but how are you Ron? Anything wrong? I am so laughing right now. This actually reminds me of the DH movie when they Apparate from the wedding and nearly get run over and Hermioneâ€™s upset cause they didnâ€™t get to have Harryâ€™s birthday cake. I love Hermione, but she has the worst perspective sometimes.
Sâ€™mores and puppy dog eyes. God Draco is adorable. And Ron is an asshat. Excellent characterization of him, by the way.
Author's Response: All right, I am replying to them in a clump if you don't mind. I knew there were characterization issues which kind of fueled my need for a rewrite. You have been finding them and bringing them to my attention. THANK YOU. I just remember writing this thinking how I wish they could all just be friends, hehe! There has to be a way to do that and keep it relatively canon, right?
Why do I find these characters so darn cute in this? Really theyâ€™re just adorable. Even when theyâ€™re being idiots. Ron is still an asshat, but heâ€™s annoying me less than usual so kudos to you.
I donâ€™t have too much to say about this chapter. I enjoyed it. Made me smile a few times.
Honestly, I have no idea what Iâ€™ve written in these reviews thus far. Iâ€™m glad some of my comments have been helpful, but I really just keeping word open as I read and jotting down my impressions. This isnâ€™t how I generally write reviews, but I know youâ€™re doing a re-write so Iâ€™m doing things a little differently. And itâ€™s kind of fun to write random observations. :)
I love the developing friendship between Draco and Ron. I never thought that I would see that and be able to believe it, but you handled it very well.
I also liked Draco's very Malfoy sounding speech to the Grangers. It's cute because no matter how much he may hate it, he will always be a Malfoy.
I really enjoyed this chapter. I think it was one of your best. Keep up the good work.
The Malfoy charm, eh? Haha. It takes a saint to deal with Draco, and no one should have to deal with both him and Ron. Well, thatâ€™s actually not a bad point, but Dracoâ€™s been very well behaved, for once.
Dracoâ€™s calling Weasley Ron, and Ronâ€™s calling Draco mate? Seriously? I gotta say that happened a little fast.
Iâ€™m also not loving Bellaâ€™s part here, and no this isnâ€™t Bella. Sheâ€™s evil. I get it. Itâ€™s just awkward. Thereâ€™s more explanation than there needs to be about blood status. Anyone obsessed enough with HP to be reading fanfiction knows that stuff. And for some reason, her voice seems very childish rather than insane.
I am so anxious to see Draco take Lucius on. Not that I can explain why since I love both characters. I just know what Lucius did in this fic and that really upsets meâ€¦ P.S. Still kinda mad about that. :p
Yay, Nikki! They're so cute. I always liked the idea of Draco getting along with trio. You write them together well. Good job.
Author's Response: Whew. I got the e-mail alert about having anew review and I was worried about getting my first flame! Thank you for making my night. I\'m updating as quickly as I can without risking poor quality fiction. I value your imput! ~Nicole
Yay! Your story is back. I always loved this. I was really disappointed when it disappeared from my favorites list. Anyway, this story is really great. It's a very chilling look at the inner workings of pureblood society. Very well done.:D
HA! I absolutly loved it! This was a great ending. At first I thought of Dudley as blondeD, but Harry stealing it never occured to me.
As for Bella, *HUGGLES, HUGGLES, and more HUGGLES* That was wonderful. I loved it. I actually considered that for R.A.B, in a much more serious light though. It would certainly be interesting. Again, *huggles*. Thank you for not making her evil and stupid, in the end. :D
I am now done babbling, but seriously, this was really well done. It kept me laughing through every chapter. :D
Author's Response: Yeah, I actually had a dream that R.A.B. was Rodolphus and Bellatrix, and I just went, \"DUDE. I have to put that in my story!\" I was afraid you\'d go, \"WHAT?! But she can\'t be good! You\'ve killed Her character!
Very nice. Very nice. I absolutly adore this. But I still feel bad for Bella because you pick on her spelling and grammar skills. :(
Author's Response: Thank you for the compliment! As for Bella... she has quite an interesting part later in the story. If you\'re a Bella fan, you\'ll either love it or hate it. (And no, it\'s NOT romance.)
Oh, how cute. But poor Voldie just keeps getting shot down, and Bella wasn't even there this round to hit on him. :( *misses Bella*
Author's Response: Don\'t worry, Bella will definitely be back later in the story! And there will be more comments in future chapters. Voldy, by the way, was not at all insulted by the letters in this chapter. His ego is too large to be harmed by petty mortal\'s disses. So don\'t you worry about him.
HA! I loved it. This was amazing. I don't read a lot of humor, but I couldn't resist Voldie's blog and I was not disappointed. I loved your e-Crucios, that cracked me up.
And, poor Bella. I'm sure she can spell much better that that.
Anyway, this is going in my favorites, right now. :D
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! I can\'t believe I\'ve been favourited after one day! :o I got the idea for e-Crucios from proboards websites, where you can \'exalt\' or \'smite\' someone. And I thought, if Voldemort had a site, the buttons would be \'rewarded beyond imagination\' and \'e-Crucio.\'
Only one more chapter! :( That's so sad. I have really enjoyed following this. But I am dying to know who blondeD is. *ponders*
Author's Response: Thank you! You shall see who blondeD is!
Poor Harry. I really liked your poem. I think you nailed his feelings pretty good. If he were in that situation he would probably want to be left alone.
Author's Response: Hi Elle, I\'m glad you liked it, and thanks!
Awww...that was cute, well until he slammed the door in the poor girl's face. But I really liked it. It was a nice bonding experience between Narcissa and Draco.
Author's Response: Why thank you! This is my first one-shot, so I\'m happy that it\'s being treated kindly!
Nice, Suzie. This really captures Tom's feelings well. I like how he realized that something was off and he didn't really know the woman he was with. This is one of the stranger relationships in the fandom and it is always interesting to read about. :D
Author's Response: *giggles* Thanks Elle! I love writing about Tom and Merope - we know so little about what they were like, so it\'s nice to speculate sometimes! Thanks for reviewing! ~Suzie
Eerie. I really loved it though. I hate to think of the people dying in the war and then being forgotten, or thought of as weak. This was really well done.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I don\'t like to think of it either, but it does happen sometimes. Ideally, they would be remembered in the annals of history; however, all too often time fades perspective. This is a theme that I will focus on in some of my future posts: Idealism vs. Realism.
Haha! Poor Lucius. That was very cute. Very OOC, but very cute. I enjoyed it. :D
Author's Response: Thank you... and if you think THIS portrayal of Lucius is OOC, I don\'t want to hear what you thought of him in \"The Dark Lord\'s Blog!\"