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Sly Severus [Contact]

I love all things Potter.

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Stories by Sly Severus [64]
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Reviews by Sly Severus

I Can't Love Her by Cruciatus Love

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Tom Riddle knows that his Merope is a charmed woman, but he doesn't quite know how far that goes. When it comes to their wedding day, he tries with all his might to release himself from 'her spell'. Little does he know that magic really might be worked into the situation, and that gaining back control is the hardest thing he can try to do.

Written for the Summer Weddings Challenge by Cruciatus Love of Slytherin.

Reviewer: Sly Severus Signed
Date: 08/27/06 Title: Chapter 1: The Day Before

I've never read about these two before, but I liked it. I think the way you described Tom's feelings was great. I like that he was confused, and he couldn't understand what was happening to him. Poor guy. I think you did you a really great job portraying both characters. Good Job!:D

Author's Response: Whoa. You need to take Tom/Merope lessons then, because they\'re my favourite couple! But thanks for the review.

Reviewer: Sly Severus Signed
Date: 08/30/06 Title: Chapter 2: The Wedding

Whoa, Shayla, this was great. I loved how you got inside Tom's mind. It was cool how you had him thinking that he was going crazy, but yet he realized that she was responsible. I really enjoyed this.

The only thing I noticed was this sentence: "It was signing sweetly to everyone in the room-- but not him." Did you mean singing?

Anyway, really good chapter! :D

Author's Response: Yes, I meant singing. Whoops. Thanks for the review!

One Day, Bella by xMBx

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: The final between Harry Potter and the Dark Lord has just taken place. Instead of enjoying the freedom she has not had for fifty years, Bellatrix Lestrange is thinking about the freedom she and her husband should be enjoying together.
Reviewer: Sly Severus Signed
Date: 08/23/06 Title: Chapter 1: One Day, Bella

Awww...I love Bella. This was really sweet. I loved your title, and the repetition of it throughout the story. Very well done! :D

Author's Response: I love Bella, too. I wanted to show her in a more human light in this story. thanks for the review

Murder By Wand by FeatherTrader

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: What if Snape hadn't gotten to Draco quick enough? How might this effect Harry; a murderer?

This is Extra Credit: A Different Outcome, and I am Sour.Apple. of the Slytherin house and this challenge piece recieved first place.
Reviewer: Sly Severus Signed
Date: 08/27/06 Title: Chapter 1: One-shot

Wow! This was really different. I never thought of Harry killing Draco, well at least not at this stage of the game. It was a really interesting twist. I absolutly loved your closing paragraph. Good Job!

Author's Response: It was fun to write something a little different. I\'ve never written anything AU (on purpose) so it was definantly a change. Thank you for the review!

I AM a Killer by Cruciatus Love

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Draco Malfoy has had enough of everyone telling him who he is. He's had enough of other people wanting him to be who they want him to be. He wants to show the world that he's his own person, and that if he sets his mind on something he will do it. He will show the world that he truely is the dark character he says he is.

Written for the Extra Credit Challenge by Cruciatus Love of Slytherin.

Reviewer: Sly Severus Signed
Date: 08/25/06 Title: Chapter 1: The Killing

Hmmm...I really liked this. It's a look at the selfish Draco were all used to from the books. I find in fan fiction most people try to make him softer, find the nicer side of him. I think of him as having a nicer side. Anyway, this was really fun to read.

I particularly liked this line, "Dumbledore doesnt realise that being dead is not something one strives for." It made me grin.

The only thing I wondered about were Draco's motivations. At the beginning you said he was doing it only for himself. Then as the story progressed you said he was doing it for his father and his master as well.

Anyway, I really enjoyed. Good Job!

Author's Response: Yeah, I wanted the author to not quite know who he\'s doing it for as Draco is sort of a confused child. But I\'m glad you liked it. Thanks for the review!

Standing Out From the Crowd by Valentinia

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: His beautiful black eyes have always stood out from the crowd for her. Even today, when she is the centre of attention, she is thinking of him and wishing things were different...
Reviewer: Sly Severus Signed
Date: 06/26/07 Title: Chapter 1: Charocal Eyes

I like the way you show the immense feelings Snape and Narcissa have for each other. However, I'm not that fond of some of the dialogue. There are some cliches in there, things I don't think Severus or Narcissa would ever say.

Overall, I found this short piece very good. With only a few words, you have managed to convey some very strong emotion.

However, I do find myself asking, is this it? It seems much more like a beginning than an ending. I think you could make this into a much longer fic if you were interested.

As it is, good job.

Author's Response: I definitely know what you\'re saying about the dialogue - thanks for pointing it out, I\'m going to go over this fic again and try to patch it up right this instant. Otherwise, thanks so much for the review! I hadn\'t even considered continuing this... but maybe... :D

A Song for Johnny by Fantasium

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: It is London in the late 1920s, and the Muggle influence on the magical society has never been so strong. The older generations, especially of the pure-blood families, disapprove, but their children are becoming increasingly curious and open-minded. Join one of these young men as he attempts to introduce his mother to the pleasures of Muggle culture, and as he discovers the full extent of them himself.
Reviewer: Sly Severus Signed
Date: 06/02/07 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

Muggles everywhere! I do not understand why we simply couldnt have Apparated.

*Giggles* This was a good opening. It was also rather misleading. Immediately, I thought this story would be about an older generation of Blacks. However, when they arrived at a Muggle restaurant, I figured it wasnt them. I would have never guessed the Weasleys though. I always assumed that they were always opened to Muggles, although I really like the idea that maybe they werent always like that.

The description in this was also wonderful. It felt like I was there in the club. I loved the way the mother complained. It all seemed so true to life. This was really well done.

I also thought that the family tapestry was a good touch. This was something else that I envisioned as solely a Black thing, but its interesting to see other pure-blood families using similar traditions.

Anyway, this was a wonderful story and I enjoyed the peek at Arthurs ancestors. Very entertaining and well done.

Goodbye Rose by takefourmoments

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Bellatrix Lestrange has spent her whole life wanting and trying to please one person. Once he is gone, so is all hope of life, the only hope she has left in a single rose.

Reviewer: Sly Severus Signed
Date: 08/31/06 Title: Chapter 1: One Shot

I really loved this. I adore Bella, and I strongly believe that she can feel. I don't think of her as truly being in love with old Voldie, but I still loved your story.

I was a little confused about Bella being in hospital, and apparently Rodolphus is free to do what he likes. It seems to me that they would both be tossed in Azkaban without a single consideration. Also, why did Rodolphus leave her? If he loved her so much, why didn't he take care of her when she was all alone.

Otherwise, it was a really good story, with a lot of emotion. I greatly enjoyed it.:D

Safe Haven by NikkiSue

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: After a conflicting life as the son of a famous and feared Death Eater, Draco Malfoy has turned spy for the Order. After things go awry, his emergency portkey transports him to his Safe House which turns out to be quite the surprise! New bonds are formed and romance is in bloom. This all goes to show that war indeed brings out the best in people and the worst.
Reviewer: Sly Severus Signed
Date: 04/29/07 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10 - You're Not Alone

Poor Bella! They really got her good. *huggles her precious Bella* But does this mean Bella and Lucius are out of the story? They were sent back to Azkaban, right? I would hate to see them gone. They really spruce things up. Besides, I was expecting a much larger show down between Lucius and Draco. Of course, that might be because I have a little bit of inside information. ;)

Anyway, the chapter was really good. I love your writing style. Everything is always so smooth and easy to read. I get to the end of the chapter before I even realize it.

That smirk was worthy of a Malfoy, Granger. Im rubbing off on you.

That was priceless. I absolutely adored that line. But there was something that seemed off about it to me. At this point, I dont really see Draco drawing attention to the fact that hes a Malfoy. It also seemed as though Hermione almost took it as a compliment. It was a wonderful line, but somehow it seemed off to me.

And I must say, I loved the introduction of Dobby at the end of this chapter. He is so cute. Its always nice to see him. I thought it was interesting how he connected all right with Draco. I was always under the impression that Draco was as abusive to the house-elf as Lucius. Dobby really didnt seem to like him in HBP. But in this chapter, it almost seemed like Dobby was glad to see him. Is there background story here?

Well, I think thats all I have to say. The chapter was great, even if my poor Bella did get picked on. Ron really shouldnt have stepped on her. *glares at Ron* Anyway, great job and I will be awaiting the next chapter.

Author's Response: Elle! Okay, *I* know I had already posted a response to this that was quite long but since it\'s not here, I will try again. It might not be as thorough but hey, it\'s a start. Firstly, I would like to reassure you that no, Bella and Lucius are not gone from the story or plot. They actually play a big part to it. If it makes you feel any better, I am writing the final battle and they are still around. May I also say that seeing as I have been working on this since last summer, there were some things I had forgotten... loose ends if you will. One of those is Dobby and Draco\'s chat. Oopsie. I shall remedy that. It may prolong chapter release but hey, what else is new? *winks* Yes, the smirk was off but I too enjoyed that line so I left it in. Sorry if it makes the chapter a bit \"off.\" Oh and I had Ron step on her because it seemed like the smart-alecky thing he would do. That and, \"Oops, my bad.\" Thanks for your kind words. I always appreciate what you have to say. *huggles* ~Nicole

Reviewer: Sly Severus Signed
Date: 01/07/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1- Taking the Bait

I finally made it, Nicole. So you should warn me if Chapter Seven will truly devestate me.')

Anyway, nice chapter. You have a very smooth writing style. I like it. Not much plot for me to comment on yet, but it held my interest and at the moment that is a major accomplishment.

I am a little confused as to when this is taking place though. Will that be cleared up as I keep reading.

Anyway, lovely chapter.

Reviewer: Sly Severus Signed
Date: 01/07/07 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

I have never heard of Draco staying at Hermione's house before. I like it. Interesting idea. But I still can't figure out the timeline for this. Is it supposed to be do-over of sixth year? Very good, though.

Reviewer: Sly Severus Signed
Date: 01/07/07 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3 - An Adjustment

Aww, poor guy. He got his butt kicked on the very first assignment. *huggles Draco. I loved Harry's questions. "Is this a house?" etc. That part was really cute.

Again, you have a lovely style. Your writing hooks the reader in. Well done.

Reviewer: Sly Severus Signed
Date: 01/21/07 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6 - Go Take A Walk, Hermione . . . NOW.

Nice. Not as traumatizing as expected. :D

This might sound strange, but I should hate your story, but I absolutly love it. You do the opposite with some of my fav characters than I do and I'm still here hammering for more. Normally, I don't get past the first chapter of a story when Draco and Lucius have this kind of relationship. That should tell you that you are indeed a wonderful author.

Very well done, Nicole. *huggles* Can't wait for more. :D

Author's Response: *dabs eyes with tissue* That was such a sweet thing to say, you have no idea. My fellow Slytherin and fierce Bella protector likes my work? I must be doing something right.

Reviewer: Sly Severus Signed
Date: 01/07/07 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4 - A Bit Awkward

Nicole!!! I am now beyond traumatized. I thought I was safe til chapter seven. Bella hurt Draco! *cries* Cissy is dead. *cries some more*

Okay, this wasn't the most traumatizing one I have read yet, but still. As I'm sure you know, I don't think Bella would hurt her nephew. I'm not sure that she particularly cares for him, but she knows how much Narcissa loves him. But you've heard my rambling on this topic before.:D

Speaking of Narcissa, what happened to her. I kind of got the impression Lucius might have killed her. Draco seems very against his father.


I'm going to the fourms now to see if you're there to tell me if I should keep reading or if it will traumatize me for life.

Oh, but the chapter was really well done. Very nice. I liked the interaction between Draco and Harry. I had trouble believing Hermione would get that upset over Draco's remark thourh. Otherwise, it was very good.

Author's Response: I\'m sorry... I forgot to warn you. I didn\'t think you would get to it right away the way you said, \"I promise to get to everyone\'s fanfics eventually\"! Actually, I was rereading the story today while organizing it and saw the comment you referred to. I see your point but I am not sure if I want to go in and rewrite it quite yet. Maybe after the story is done. It\'s a small note in the scheme of things especially considering that so far I have 21 chapters of this written. It\'s going to be a huge fanfic. I hope I live to see it end! *huggles*

Reviewer: Sly Severus Signed
Date: 01/07/07 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5 - You Have My Attention

Aww, this was much less traumatizing. And rather amusing actually. I like the interactions between the three of them. Very cute. But poor Ron is all alone. He's going to be furious when he finds out what's been going on.

I really do like your story, even if your portrayl of Bella is somewhat traumatizing.;) Good Job!

Reviewer: Sly Severus Signed
Date: 08/05/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1- Taking the Bait

Well, this is a fun start. I vaguely remember pieces of this, but forgot most things. Don’t feel bad. I have fanfictions on my page that I don’t even remember writing. I reread a few and was like, where the heck did this come from. Did you know I wrote Severus/Amelia and a Draco/Susan cause they’re on my page, but I have no memory of it.

Anyway, my burning question right now is what time period are we in? It’s obviously summer vacation, but I can’t guess the year. It feels like fifth, but shouldn’t Harry be railing about Sirius’ death around now? Just wondering about that.

I love that Tonks is in this, especially since I already know who the mystery student is. I love throwing the Tonks and the Malfoys together. I always thought Tonks would be the most sensible in such a situation, which kind of dampers some of my post-DH writings. Anyway, I’m looking forward to reading more of her in this fic.

I absolutely love the way you write Tonks. It’s rare that I read her and she feels right, but you’ve done well with that. She feels like Tonks. She’s silly and clumsy and just loveable. The part with her meeting Hermione’s mom is priceless. She’s exactly what your opening chapter needed.

Author's Response: EllaBella - I wrote this in 2006/2007 . . . Let me think about that, hehe! :-) I think, aside from the general overhaul that I am due for with this story that I also need to redo the warnings. This was written before the last book was out (before book 6 also?) so a lot had NOT happened yet. I wish we had a "Book 5-7 disregard" warning! Let's rework this thing! <3 ~Nicole

Reviewer: Sly Severus Signed
Date: 08/05/12 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2

Ha! I knew Ron wouldn’t be invited due to the fact that he’s a tosspot. Although, Dumbledore tends to overlook these things. Remember his genius plan of making Severus and Sirius play nice. Maybe he learned something from that and decided not to test the hatred Ron and Draco have for each other. Although it’s more childishness on both parts than actual hatred. No idea why I’m rambling in this review…

“I am unable to share that information with you at this time.” “ Dumbledore. Nicole, you nailed him. Oh he drives me. Harry, Hermione, guess what I want you to work with someone you’ve fought with for years, but I’m not gonna tell you why cause I’m a jerk. No wonder Ron isn’t here. He’d never give in to this.

Ha! I love this. Draco should live at Hermione’s house, says Dumbly. I foresee no problems with that. Now if only Lucius and Narcissa were coming… Where are they anyway? They’re always so much fun in these situations. :)

Ah yes, this is fun. I can’t wait until we start working on it. Hope you don’t mind my reviews which are more rambling observations than anything else…

Reviewer: Sly Severus Signed
Date: 08/05/12 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3 - An Adjustment

Poor Draco! Oh, he’s bleeding and unconscious; I think I’ll kick him just to make sure he’s not planning to kill us. Silly Harry.

Extra credit assignment! I love it. That was so Hermione’s idea. Harry’s not that clever. A very nice touch.

I can’t believe Dumbledore expects the two of them to know what to do. It seems pretty likely that Draco could’ve been hurt. This seems very Dumbledore-like, don’t get me wrong. It’s completely disrespectful to all three of them. He should’ve, at least, kept Tonks around in case of situations beyond the abilities of teenagers to fix… Yeah, I don’t like Dumbledore, but you write him very well.

Enjoying the banter between Harry and Draco. He can’t sit up, but he can still pick a fight with Harry-very Draco. They really are cute. Hermione’s going to have her hands full just listening to them.

Nicole, I forgot how great this was. So cute. If it wasn’t late and I didn’t want to write to a chapter in my own fic, I’d keep going, but I need to log off for the night. I can’t wait to get caught up with this again. :)

Reviewer: Sly Severus Signed
Date: 08/05/12 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4 - A Bit Awkward

Awww, Draco’s just as trusting as Harry and Hermione. So cute. Poor Draco. He thinks they’re going to starve him, which would actually be a much more valid concern if Ron were around.

I’ve really only written these characters together post-war, but there are certain advantages to playing around with them prior to anything major happening in canon. They’re more snarky and less broken.

Oh hell. You killed Narcissa. I remember this now. I’m not very happy with you right now, Nicole. I’m also pretty sure I remember how you killed her and the foreshadowing on the topic seems to agree with my recollection. My poor Malfoys!

Reviewer: Sly Severus Signed
Date: 08/05/12 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5 - You Have My Attention

Ah, so this is the summer of fifth year. Harry’s starting to let his hatred of Bella show.

Oh yes, Draco’s a great spy. Let’s just refuse the Dark Mark and spit on Voldy’s favorite servant. That won’t draw attention to me at all. I love how smart these characters can be sometimes.

Awww, more adorable bickering. The shower thing was cute. Poor Draco. I’d have expected him to toss a pillow or something.

I’m a little surprised by how Hermione is turning out. She’s usually more mature than the other kids, but she seems worse in this. Her feelings her hurt at everything, even Harry! I think her character could use a little tweaking. But the boys are pretty much flawless.