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On Broken Wings
A Charlie/Hermione romance.
At the End Comes the Beginning
A poem about the journey to the Afterlife.
A four founders tale.
Will Alice ever recover her sanity?
Myth and Mystery
Alice is swept into a hair-raising adventure.
Flight, Fright, and Fight
Narcissa must learn to fight for her identity.
Rated: [Reviews - ]
Definitely continue this story. It is an awesome start. You really capture the confusion she feels waking up and slowly recalling her identity. Bravo. Good, good work. I would offer some cc, but I don't think there are any weaknesses worth noting in this story so far! You had a great balance between emotional descriptions and 'environment' descriptions. It’s easy to go too much either direction, and I admire your skill in not doing so.
Please make this into a longer story.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review - it\'s great to have encouragement. I\'m currently typing up the second chapter so it should be posted soon.
Summary: For some reason, they won't post this on the Song Parody list, so I thought I'd post it under Fan Fiction. It is sung to the tune of "Gilligan's Island" and therefore, I did not write the music. Special thanks to J.K. Rowling for all her inspiration and also Darci Shumway and Tiffany Lloyd for all their help!
Slight HBP spoiler.
*clap, clap, clap*
Write more stuff Hero London! (and yes, visit England. It is absolutely amazing in every respect.)
Author's Response: I need to update that....I just got back from England and it truly is everything I have ever dreamed and more
Unfortunately I don't know the Gilligan's Island theme song. (Does that mean I was born in a cave, etc.?) But I still liked the lyrics you wrote.
Please write more stories!
Author's Response: Thanks again for your reviews! No, I do not believe you were \"born in a cave.\" :) Look for my next short story, coming soon!
Summary: Amazing how something born from insignificance and a dire need to measure up is the one thing that brings Ginny Weasley back. One-shot.
What a fantastic look into Ginny's world. You did an incredible job of portraying her thoughts and feelings. No hint of the stereotypical or mundane here! She is a real person with thoughts, feelings, confusions, anger, and joy.
I have for ages wanted to find a story that depicted Ginny learning to fly/flying. The way you described it I almost felt like I was right there, watching it happen. There was something intensely feminine about your illustration of the scene. I mean this in a good way. Ginny is an entirely different person from Harry. Flying means something subtly different to her. She rockets upward like a bird or skims the grass like a butterfly... I can't do it justice. Your style was impressive. I could feel her heart throbbing as she soared away from her troubles. wow. I really can't say enough in praise of this element in your story. It makes perfect sense that she became a great Quidditch player when you see what makes her love to fly. Flying means so much to her-- of course she is good at it.
I liked her relationship with Charlie. The books give you a good idea how she feels about Bill. She looks up to him, takes his side in an argument, etc. Charlie seems to be a bit more of a buddy, but she still likes being his 'little sister.' I also liked the hints at her relationship with Ron. I can just see her playing with him as little tikes. (Fred and George had each other, so Ron and Ginny had to have been closer to each other then to their other siblings.) Her anger with him was just right. She wasn't nasty about it, just sad, hurt, and a bit bitter. Perfect. You didn't over do it. She has a temper, but she isn't vicious...
There was a haunting quality to your writing that left me speechless. Let me quote you:
"One day, she would be whole again. She would climb trees and somersault in the grass, and she would push the tumultuous past behind her. She was strong, after all. She was tough and resilient and a Gryffindor. She refused to walk on shattered glass any longer, for it was all on her shoulders from now on. Her dreams, her choices, her faults, were hers alone. She was Ginny Weasley, and she could break down the door You-Know-Who had dropped in front of her. She had a life to live."
This kind of thing is really hard to write without messing up. Most amateur authors who attempt something like this wind up with sappy yickyness. You pulled it off really well. This paragraph, and the others like it, set your story apart.
I also wanted to bring up the way you maintain Ginny's 'childishness.' I don't mean pettiness, I mean her girlish, youthful character. She has just enough of a young-adult's naivety, but she has obviously experienced evil (Tom Riddle) and been effected by it. Well done.
There is a lot more to praise in this story. I wish I could do a better job describing what I love about it.
Please write more stories.
Summary: After Harry dies during the Last Battle, Ginny has a hard time finding happiness again. Told in a Petrarchian sonnet. Absolute thank yous to FanFicWriterNikki for BETA reading this!
Stareyed_in_LA for Gryffindor House. Poetry Challenge 2, "Rebirth, and the Pheonix dies and is reborn again."
A suggestion... don't ryme 'life' and 'lowlife', it's repetative. Also, you use the phrase 'once again' twice in the third part. But bonos puntos for the difficult format! Pax.
Summary: Remus is too afraid to let love into his life. But perhaps the sacrifice he is making isn't the one he was meant to make. After losing love once, can he let it pass once more through his fingers?
Fantastic. I liked the flashback. I liked the ending. I guess I'm saying I loved the whole thing. Super writting, neat character developement, and nice flow to the whole story. Keep the good stuff coming!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, I\'m glad the flashbacks weren\'t confusing!
Summary: While the Triwizard Tournament is underway at Hogwarts, Remus Lupin journeys to Sweden on a mission that concerns his past. In that country, winter hangs on even as the celebration for spring, Walpurgis Night, approaches. In the soul, winter can cling, too, as Remus knows. However, even the faintest rays of spring can thaw a deep frost. (Term Challenge: Hufflepuff: MorganRay)
I am deeply impressed with this story. Remus Lupin has always been one of my favorite characters, and you have given him an entirely new dimension to live and breath in for your readers. You have a unique style of writing that just slips off the page easily, and carries the reader away into the world you have so vividly painted. Your way of writing is completely different from JKRs, but not in a bad way. As far as I'm concerned you should find a story, an editor, and a publisher of your own. Your talent is highly developed. While not perfect, this is the best written fan fiction I have read so far. My only criticism-- and I'm being very nit-picky here-- is that there were a few places things were too confusing for the reader to follow with perfect ease. The opening paragraphs spring to mind. It was difficult to make out what was going on, and who was who. When Greger introduces Bjorn I had to read every thing through twice to figure out whether Bjorn was the younger or older man, or whether there might even be a fourth person besides Lupin. Things like this happen very occasionally throughout the story, and they are in fact so rare it didn't mar the work at all. An extra proof read might be a good idea too, but now I'm bordering the line between mildly important and wildly unimportant.
The characters you created have a piercing beauty, and are thoroughly developed. I wouldn't describe this story as a tear-jerker, it goes way beyond that. It throbs with the pain Lupin has felt since childhood, and conveys the devastation wrecked upon his once happy family. You can feel the poignant stabs of pain that sear Evey's heart and mind as she raises her eyes to the moon on that fateful night, her ravaged son in her arms.
Keep writing stories. Pax.
Author's Response: Hmm, I\'ll have to watch that dialogue part. I\'m not surprised I did that, though, because the beginning was the most difficult to write for me. This is probably the most flattering review I\'ve ever gotten, and I don\'t try to mimick Jo\'s style. I like the way she writes, but I\'m not her, but that\'s okay for me. Thanks for the comment on my style, and I\'ll try not to dissapoint. I\'m glad you liked Evey, too, because I might do a one-shot on her, also.
Summary: "Tonks watched him turn and raise his hand in his normal farewell salute. She copied, hoping it looked as natural on her as it did on him.
His chuckle of amusement told her it didn't."
Tonks liked him, she wasn't afraid to admit it, to herself anyway. To him? Never!
But what if she dared to...?
So well written! I'm not typically a fan of song-fics, but I loved yours. Good job with the imagery. I also think you kept the characters canon, which is a very good thing. Remus stories almost always make him out to be some kind of outrageously sexy guy with superstar charisma. That is fine... but I don't think that is the Remus that JKR came up with. So anyway-- love your Tonks (lovable, clumsy, passionate) and your Remus.
P.S. I wanted that door to open soooo bad. Will you consider writting a second part?
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! I find it really hard to portray characters acurately as I write my own stuff in my spare time withmy own characters who can act anyway I want them to! I am definitely going to continue writing this, I should have updated it already, really, but I went to Kenya for a couple of weeks during the holidays and I haven\'t quite caught up on sleep! Anyway, after this wonderful review, I\'ll get right on it! Thanks again!
Summary: Runner-up for the QuickSilver Quills Award, categ. Best Alternate Universe
“No matter the time or place, people should never call their child Marie-Antoinette. There is no happiness in this world for a girl called Marie-Antoinette.”
1983. In a world where Voldemort has won the First War, where hope has fled from an Earth moaning under the Dark Lord's iron hand, marriages are broken and others are arranged in order to preserve the sacred purity of blood. James Potter loses his wife; now they have to find another for him.
Fantastic, Tinn Tam, fantastic!
I have loved this story since the first chapter. I was delighted when you decided to take it up again. It seemed like you had decided to abandon it.
This chapter introduced a whole new layer of the plot. I can't wait to see where that goes. Please keep updating! (But I know how real life can be...)
One minor correction. I noticed that in the scene with Mrs. Rocade you called the tea tray a 'tea trail.'
Bravo! I hope the next chapter comes soon.
Summary: Severus Snape has secretly admired Lily Evans for a while now. He risks humiliation from the two people he hates most at Hogwarts (James and Sirius), to tell Lily how he feels. Only he finds himself with a broken heart.
Keep writting! You did a great showing another side of Snape. Somehow he seems more human then I imagine him being even at that age, but I still love what you've done. Pax.
Summary: A poem about one thing that Harry and Voldemort both own: a teddy bear.
Sniff. What was Voldie's Teddy called? Poor Teddy.
Good job. I laughed. But I did feel sorry for the Teddy. Maybe Bellatrix will take him in. But wait... that would almost make me sorrier for Teddy!
Author's Response: Ha! Yeah, i was trying to make the reader sad with this poem. That makes me sound mean, but I\'m not. At least i don\'t think I am. Anywho, I\'m glad that it was enjoyable.
Summary: This is a poem about how Ginny feels after Harry breaks up with her.
Not as good as some of your other poems, but I still liked it. My main criticism is that it doesn't flow very well. Maybe it was your intent to have it a bit jerky-- none of us are eloquent when we are in the depths of misery. Is that what you were going for?
Keep writing. I like your work.
Author's Response: Yes, the poem is sort of jerky, but that was what I was going for. I think her thought processes would not have been organized and eloquent in this time of distress, so this is how the poem can out. thanks for the review!
Summary: [One Shot] It's a hot summer day on Privet Drive and Hermione is going to help Harry move out. But she gets to talking to Dudley and... Well the question is... is it True Love?
That was hilarious! It was fun because the lead up to the end was ever so subtle. I knew it was coming... almost. LOL!
Author's Response: lol :D thank you! glad you enjoyed it ^_____^
Summary: After Severus Snape leaves Hogwarts, he joins the infamous Death Eaters in search of great rewards. Instead, he finds himself making one of the biggest mistakes of his life when he tells Voldemort something that he overheard in Hogsmeade one night. Guilt floods him when he has found out what he's done. He tries to warn Dumbledore, but finds Dumbledore's trust rigid in the rat-like traitor, Peter Petigrew. Can Snape do anything to change the terrible events that are to come? No... but he can try.
You write well Bryant, I've read some of your other stuff too. This fic has a good start, but it almost seems like you got bored with it. The last paragraph of ch 2 especially feels like you ran out of energy. It seems like you started summing everything up in individual sentences that should have been given more attention.
Summary: This is a poem about the fears of Molly Weasley.
Yes, I liked this poem very much. Fear. It can paralyze you completely. It can galvanize you into frenzy. It is not nice. Not nice people like to use it. But no one likes to live in fear. No one.
Your poem conveyed all of that.
Author's Response: I\'m glad you liked it.
Summary: A poem told by Ginny about things she wants to tell Harry after they break up.
One of your best. I loved it. This poem really come across as something Ginny would write. Bravo.
Author's Response: Thanks.
Summary: This is a poem that takes you through Hermione's years at Hogwart, telling you how she feels, and how she comes to feel more at home in the Wizarding world.
Your best poem hufflepuffgal! 10xBravo. You have captured Hermione's character (you are very, very good at doing that by the way) and drawn it out over the six years we all know and love. All the stanzas flowed from each other beautifully and show her journey towards maturity. The first three and last stanza are the best. Comparing them the reader can plainly make out the old, insecure Hermione and the brave, smart, caring Hermione that little girl has become. Wonderful!
Author's Response: Thank you for the wonderful review!!
Rated: [Reviews - ]
LOL! Did anyone ever tell you that you are, ummm, a bit random? Dorkily amusing fic Sarah. I really liked it. Aunt Marge was awesome, and Sucker takes the cake.
Summary: This poem takes place on the night on the Hogwarts Express in Harry's Third Year. It is told by Remus Lupin about how he feels when he first sees Harry, and about his fears for the boys safety.
Hmmm, I liked the poem over-all, but the parts didn't harmonize with each other. (I hope criticism is OK.) I did think the poem sounded remarkably how I would imagine Remus' thoughts. Nicely done.
Author's Response: Criticism is fine! I need all the help I can get! Thanks for the review!
Summary: "That boy’s a bad influence on you. You’re not to see him...." Molly Prewett and Arthur Weasley spend a lazy summer day together, a day that may very well be their last together. When the summer rain starts to fall, will their lives be changed forever?
Cute story! I was a bit surprised at first by Molly's character, and then I remembered! This woman is Ginny's mother! It all made perfect sense. After that I loved your character developement and flowing style. Beautiful story.