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On Broken Wings
A Charlie/Hermione romance.
At the End Comes the Beginning
A poem about the journey to the Afterlife.
A four founders tale.
Will Alice ever recover her sanity?
Myth and Mystery
Alice is swept into a hair-raising adventure.
Flight, Fright, and Fight
Narcissa must learn to fight for her identity.
Nice! I liked the idea of history repeating itself, but having a happy ending the second time around.
I had three suggestions, first, when you open the story you make it clear that day is dawning in Godric's Hollow. It seems a little odd that James and Lily are up at that hour 'putting the baby to sleep.' I've had experience with fractious one year-olds, and rarely do both parents get up at five thirty in the morning to cuddle by the fire while they get the baby back to sleep. (I guess what I'm saying is that I was a bit confused whether it was supposed to be morning or evening.)
Second, do you think Voldemort would give 'a soft knock' on their front door. I guess he might want to scare them, but it still seems out of character for him.
Third, when the story ended I was still wondering what had happened to Ginny and her baby girl. Are they ok? They fell down in the woods, and that is the last we heard about them.
I hope you like cc because it looks like I went a bit overboard in that department. Take care and keep writing.
You (and Kerichi) are writing the best Remus based fics I have seen, bar none. Bravo. I'd rant on about how great you are but you would fall asleep on your keyboard before I was done. So I'll just say thanks, and keep the yummy stuff coming.
Pax, and Happy Chistmas!
No words to express how good this chapter was.
You should consider writing professionally.
So good! Every chapter you write is powerful. And thank you for updating so fast. It means alot to your fans. I want to know what is going to happen (cause you are a master of cliff hangers) and you keep the chapters coming. Awesome!
This story gets a 10/10. No criticisms.
Awesome! I'm a loyal fan.
Next chapter please, please, please!
Thank you, once again, for this fantastic fic. There is no praise I can offer that I haven't offer before. I can only repeat, you are up there in my top five all time favorite fan-fic authors. You have woven a story here that I will come back to read again and again.
I will eagerly await anything you decide to write in future. I would be absolutely frantic with joy if you choose to write a new lovely looooong story with new characters (such as a Snap-centric, Ginny-centric, or even something completely original like a Alice/Frank Longbottom fic.)
Tally-ho. And another round of applause for the awesomely-wonderful Pallas! *clapclapclap*
Bravo, bravo, bravo! No complaints!
I can absolutely say without a shadow of a doubt that that was the best Remus/Tonks lover's quarrel scene that I have read. You captured them perfectly. Flawless. Look at me, I'm gushing. But it is absolutely true. Every word.
It was not so much the content or the setting (both are excellent) as the fact that they are so perfectly in character.
Your plots absolutely rock. Your character's rock. Your imagination rocks. Your style rocks. OK, I'll stop now. Erm, sorry. Hope I didn't scare you.
I have no suggestions of critique to offer. Just keep posting. And thanks for being so punctual!
(I swear I'm normally sane, just not at 3:45am. Sleep deprivation doesn't impair my judgment however.)
I really couldn't give you enough praise for your portrayal of Peter Pettigrew's character and motives in this chapter. I that have never read an explanation that I felt went straight to the heart of the matter. I do not honestly think JKR could offer better reasons for Wormtail's actions, and I do not say that lightly.
I was very sad that Remus couldn't forgive Peter. We all have faults, and this one was a natural one for Remus to have, but the most noble thing to do would have been to forgive Peter. Please so not think I do not want to see Pettigrew get his just reward! But forgiveness and justice can go hand in hand. It is then that we see the height of human virtue. Ok, ok, I will stop preaching now.This scene between Remus and Pettigrew is the finest example of your writing I have seen. You really have a turn for the serious side of a story.
I love this chapter, but I do have to come down hard on the ending. It was terribly confusing. First of all, it has been a very long time (in text rather then time) since we read your account of the effects of the Imperius curse on werewolves. As I remember it, the Imperius curse only works on werewolves who have lost their souls. Is that right? Does that mean that Remus is now souless? (Please no!) At first I thought the curse was meant for the Dementor. Anyway, I have no idea what happened there at the end of the chapter. Please, please, please clarify soon! And if you have dared to kill off Remus Lupin I will... let's just say you will need that rocket and bunker.
(Just kidding really. I love seeing authors do their own thing, but all readers have their preferences. Please don't think I am really serious.)
I can't wait for the next chapter.
You have very tangible talent. This short work had real depth and vibrated with emotion. Please keep writing.
This story may someday be lengthened; for now, it stands as is.
Awesome! I love your style. Please keep this story going. Your attention to detail and portrayal of events from Remus/Hermione's point of view are well done.
(quote) "Now, she looked slightly nervous, but her bossy façade seemed to have left her somewhat. She still had appeared ready to explain anything she knew to anyone who would listen, but there seemed to be more real confidence behind that know-it-all show. She could not know exactly where she was going or what she would do when she got there, but she would go."
All the sentences in this paragraph are compounded with 'but.' Try different constructions to avoid repetitiveness.
Take care and keep writing Starmaiden. Pax.
Author's Response: Ooops. Thanks so much for your compliments and criticism -- it\'s so helpful! I have to say this story isn\'t top on my priority list right now, but I promise that it will get done.
I was amused by your basalisk one shot; it was funny. Loved the moral...
Hmmm, I liked parts of your story. I would advise you to keep writing and work on perfecting your style. On the whole this was too choppy, and the story, while promising, lacked depth. I feel bad giving a negative review, but you did beg for reviews at the end. However I hope speaking my mind doesn't discourage you from writing more.
You have promise!
Well you begged for a review...
This wasn't my favorite poem. I didn't think it explained how Draco came to change so drastically or why (if he has always been this way) why he has acted the way he has in the past. The inclusion of slang was also a bit jarring.The poem did have some nice imagery and emotion.
The punctuation was incorrect in quite a few places. Question marks were often placed after non-questions. This shouldn't be done even for effect.
Keep writing. Happy New Year.
Interesting style. I like the medium you have chosen for the story (comatose Draco, Hermione talking to herself) Somehow I think nothing less could bring this couple together. Keep posting, ok? Pax.
Author's Response: Thanks FaunaCaritas. Yeah, I\'m pretty happy with the medium myself, especially my Malfoy. Other things could bring them together though. You should have a look at mooncalfs stories, they\'re really good. Thanks again for leaving a review!
This one-shot made me rejoice! You write well. You have control over your adjectives-- not too many, not too few. that is hard to do, and I admire your work here greatly. The story was simple and sweet; it made me smile. Bravo! I am off to see if you have written anything else.
Author's Response: Guess I better get writing then! Thank you!!
Good start, I'm gonna keep reading if you keep updating (pretty please do.) Don't forget Sirius and Tonks are related...
Your writting is very good, and I'm lovin Remus and Tonks. Pax.
Thank you for the wonderful story! It was so refreshing to experience some of our favorite characters in a completely new light. I just finished reading the Lincoln/Douglas debates, and I have to admit that was the only reason I started reading your story. Once I started however, I couldn't stop hitting the 'next' tab! You write well, and the history you incorporated gave the story a lot of individuality. Good characters, good setting, and good overall plot = great story. Write more like it!
Author's Response: Thank you so much. I\'m so glad you liked the story and that you decided to start reading it.
Definitely continue this story. It is an awesome start. You really capture the confusion she feels waking up and slowly recalling her identity. Bravo. Good, good work. I would offer some cc, but I don't think there are any weaknesses worth noting in this story so far! You had a great balance between emotional descriptions and 'environment' descriptions. It’s easy to go too much either direction, and I admire your skill in not doing so.
Please make this into a longer story.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review - it\'s great to have encouragement. I\'m currently typing up the second chapter so it should be posted soon.
*clap, clap, clap*
Write more stuff Hero London! (and yes, visit England. It is absolutely amazing in every respect.)
Author's Response: I need to update that....I just got back from England and it truly is everything I have ever dreamed and more