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I am a proud member of Ravenclaw house.
On Broken Wings
A Charlie/Hermione romance.
At the End Comes the Beginning
A poem about the journey to the Afterlife.
A four founders tale.
Will Alice ever recover her sanity?
Myth and Mystery
Alice is swept into a hair-raising adventure.
Flight, Fright, and Fight
Narcissa must learn to fight for her identity.
Summary: Fred thought that death would be more exciting than an uncluttered bedroom.
First Place in The Next Great Adventure prompt in the Autumn Challenge of 2007!
That was awesome! You had some really original ideas. I loved the fact that George had locked Fred away in his heart until they could take the journey into the afterlife together.
My favorite part of the whole story was the last line. By saying nothing you say everything!
Quote: "He shut his eyes contentedly and when he opened them again, the room at the Burrow was gone." Leaving the story that way means that the reader's imagination can take flight!
My criticisms: I wasn't really clear about were Fred was that whole time.... I know I said before he was locked in George's heart, but that was just my best guess. I wasn't sure if that is what you meant. I would suggest clarifying what happened by making their conversation in the last scene a bit easier to understand.
I think you could also use one or two more instances of George 'speaking' to Fred-- just so that it is (again) easier for the reader to slowly catch on to what is happening. I also felt like George would think about/talk to 'dead Fred' quite a bit... they were twins. And wouldn't Fred try to talk back? Once Fred realized what was going on wouldn't he have tried to talk to his brother, albeit in a singular manner. People sometimes say they can sort of hear their loved ones talking to them in their heart after they are gone......
I have rambled unintentionally into speculation. Ahm. *closes eyes briefly, opens again* I am better now.
Bravo and best of luck in the challenge, fellow 'Claw! I liked your story very much.
Author's Response: Well, I was actually sort of half-hoping that people would come to their own conclusions about why Fred was locked in the bedroom. But I think what I had in mind while I was writing is that he was locked in the bedroom because he was waiting for George, so I think your speculation works. :) I think I have a bad habit of not explaining myself fully epsecially in stories such as this one which leads to reviews saying that people found it confusing. It\'s something I\'ve been trying to work on lately. :) Thanks for your review! :) Tash
Summary: In my version of the DH epilogue, set 19 years later. Harry has pushed his family away to protect them from the consequences of his actions. But what will happen when the consequences are different then he thought they would be?
IWhile DH is not excluded, the last chapter is. This also happens to be a part of the Ellie Vicky and Ellie Cathy series, although it is not vital to read "A Potter and a Malfoy."
I hope you don't mind a slightly disappointed review...
I thought you made some interesting points, but the fic didn't seem to meet the challenge prompt. An epilogue usually tends to resolve a story rather then blow it wide open. (Please keep in mind this is just my opinion. To each their own.) I felt like this version of events left dozens of questions hanging. Most importantly, what happened to Harry? I was also left wondering what on earth caused his actions. You didn't say when he killed Lucius, so I wasn't sure if it was five years ago (when the change came over him) or whether it was long before that.
I thought that the story was a bit choppy. There was a lot of room, given your ideas, to expand on Harry and Ginny's thoughts and emotions. I don't insist that the epilogue be all happy and flowery (in fact I admire the fact that you choose the opposite route) but if you are going to make it angsty/dark it needs more development and exploration. 'Fluff' doesn't require as much attention to detail/careful character developement/reflection; hence the term 'fluff.' You struck out in a completely new direction-- bravo-- but now the fic needs to be fleshed out and polished.
And I think it is a contradiction for Harry to say that he 'killed Lucius Malfoy in cold blood' when later he says he 'killed him when he was extremely upset.' Harry might be emotionally confused, but as a character he should remain consistent. Once again, I admire that you chose to portray Harry in a completely new light, but I encourage you to make the 'new Harry' a believable one.
I think you have a great idea going here, you just needed to take more time explaining it/laying it out for the reader. 1,900 words just aren't enough for something this huge!
I hope my criticism helps... and I truly hope I don't sound mean. *offers bar of Honeyduke's Chocolate*
Author's Response: Fauna, don\'t worry about sounding mean. You are completely entitled to your own opinion, and I am sorry that I you were not completely satisfied with this fic. Now, you say that there was plenty of room for Harry and Ginny\'s emotions and feelings. While you are right, I would like to draw your attention to the real epilogue. How much do we know from that? In reality, because I was writing an epilogue, I tried to make it similar to Jo\'s work. Meaning, we only know some of Harry\'s thoughts and some emotions. Also, this happens to be part of the Ellie Vicky and Ellie Cathy series, and if you read \"A Malfoy and a Potter,\" you\'ll find hints that Harry is back with his family. Thank you very much for your review, and don\'t worry, I\'m not upset with you :) Kate
Summary: Regulus Black feels he belongs in Hell. And maybe he is there. Or maybe not. Full of guilt and love, Regulus must choose between the love of his Dancer and an eternity of shadows.
Written by Emily_the_poet of Ravenclaw house for the prompt, "the next great adventure"
That was beautiful. You captured the slightly surreal aura of the place. The story feels dreamlike... the part that seems most like reality is when he remembers Anita's death. Poor little Regulus.
One thing I would have liked to see was Regulus' rage. You mention it and then switch abruptly back to 'heaven.' Stylistically that is your choice, but I was left wanting to know what happened. Maybe that is what you intended.
Awesome challenge entry. Best of luck!
*hug for fellow 'Claw*
Summary: A response to the Summer Challenge at Potter Place
Prompt No 11: Post Voldy defeat and Hermione is now a vampire. Given the Wizarding world's intolerance of vampires what will she do? Who will help her? Perhaps the bat of the dungeons?
Plese note that even though there is a Character Death warning, it is not for one of the main characters
I liked the story. You really did a great job. I enjoyed it from start to close. Hermione the vampire is such an interesting concept... it is so completely the antithesis of her normal nature.
I especially liked your story because:
1. Your descriptions were excellent. You made them fresh and original, used a broad but not pompous vocabulary, and you didn't go on and on forever. That takes both skill and restraint.
2. Your plot was clever, engaging, and had a fun twist. Bravo.
I had a couple of (I hope) constructive criticisms:
1. Your characters sometimes bordered on occness... not majorly, mind, but occasionally I thought Severus was too sweet or Hermione was too childish. Severus was at his best when he was feeling snarky. When he started falling in love with Hermione the change happened too rapidly. But I am being hypercritical.
2. I think you could have drawn out the story a bit. The 'falling in love' happened so fast. I didn't feel like you laid enough groundwork for their romance. It boiled down to Severus feeling protective and Hermione feeling lonely, (with mutual respect on both sides). That is a good start, but it needed more.
3. The 'Lucius-is-good' was too far out there for me. This is the guy who wanted all the mudbloods petrified... I just couldn't see it. But maybe that is just me.
Anyway... I'll quit my ramblings. I really loved your story. Please write more! Your descriptions are a true joy to read. I savored every detail.
May the Muse ramble your way often and untiringly!
Author's Response: Thank you. I am always happy when I can get someone to think about my story. I do appreciate criticism (as long as it is constructive, which yours is), as it helps me to improve on my shortcomings. I solemnly swear to do better next time!
Summary: Was it possible to save two lives in the past without altering history? Was it possible to give his parents a future twenty years after they had supposedly died? Teddy Lupin thought so...
You. Are. Bloody. Brilliant.
Nothing can describe how much I love your 'trilogy.' You captured Remus, Tonks, and Teddy to the point of perfection. I've been part of your fan crew for over a year now-- waiting for each chapter, hanging on the edge of my chair at every tense moment, and whooping out loud at the joy-filled ending.
I am in awe of your plot genius. You came up with a cannon way to save them, and I do not feel like you missed a single detail. The magical theory was well thought through. There were no gaping plot holes, no stretches for my imagination... you pulled it off perfectly. Does your muse hire out? Can she sometimes be discovered on vacation in a tropical location known to only a select few? I would like to beg borrow or steal her... temporarily, of course.
I beg that you write more. Hopefully you have something already planned. Please don't give up fan fiction. If this series has reached its final end, perhaps something new? I can't imagine no more Pallas-y perfection!
Thank you for every tear, every laugh, and every memory.
I knew they wouldn't die, but that didn't stop me crying like a baby through the whole scene.
Can't wait to hear what Penny will say!
Oh no! ohnoohnoohnoohnonononoooo!
What a cliff-hanger! Agh! I sincerely hope you update soon, because otherwise I will have to chase you with a giant frozen salmon. Believe me, frozen salmon is not something you want to be bopped over the head with, so take my advice and update.
On a slightly more sane note, once again I want to compliment your writing style, you superb dialogue, and your amazing descriptive powers. I have followed this series for some time now, and your genius never ceases to amaze me.
Thank you for all the hard work and love you put into these stories.
Summary: I could see it every time I looked into her eyes.
At first I thought her eyes were beautiful. They were black and strong; she obviously wanted nothing more than to follow the one she loved.
It wasnít me she loved.
And I donít know when I found out.
Well done. I liked the new perspective. Rodolphus is a pretty tragic character-- and what a scary love triangle! Who wants the one they love to be obsessed with Voldemort. *shudders*
I also felt sorry for Bellatrix in a way. She doesn't seem to have control over her obsession; she is ultimately powerless. I always wondered if Voldemort bound her to himself on purpose, knowing what a powerful witch and ally she would make.
Have you thought about adding a second chapter taking events up to the end of the series? I think this one-shot stands on its own just fine without it, but there is a lot of information post-Azkaban that would be very interesting to see in this new light.
Author's Response: Death-Eater love triangles might be creepy, but theyíre still insanely interesting. As for Rodolphus, writing this fic has definitely made him my favourite minor character by far. I think Voldemort knew what an asset Bella could be for him, and thatís why he kept her around. He probably even trained her a bit, too. I mean, the Death Eaters arenít usually as close to Voldemort as she is. As for making this a two-shot, I donít think so. But you never know! ^_~ I did write another Bellatrix one-shot. Itís right after Voldemort is defeated, and when she goes to torture the Longbottoms. Is way creepier and much more dark (since it is written from her POV). I hope youíll read that when it gets validated! Thanks for the great review!
Summary: A weekend trip to the mysterious Rose Cottage leads to Ginny's second pregnancy and Hermione's first. The Potters and Weasleys take on “The Next Great Adventure” as they anticipate the births of Albus Potter and Rose Weasley.
:) .... just a word or two of praise for your style, your character development, and your humor. Spot on..... :)
Author's Response: Glad you\'re enjoying it. I had a heck of a time getting this story on here in the first place. Mugglenet rejected it several times before finally agreeing to post it.
Summary: Hermione decides that she's done with Ron and his constant want to pick fights with her. Not thinking that things could get any worse, Ron tells her how he really feels. Cute little One Shot form Ron's POV. Definitely a little fluffy.
Her eyes widened and she opened her mouth to say something. When nothing came out, I removed my hand from her chin, and I felt my face flushing scarlet again.
How could I have been so stupid?
ďI understand,Ē I heard myself saying, but deep down I knew I never would.
That was wonderful! So sweet and perfect. That is exactly how I always pictured their relationship. The pain, the arguments, the apologies, the touch of humor.... you captured Ron and Hermione perfectly.
Keep writing! You have a definite flare for getting inside character's heads and making them crystal-clear to the reader.
Author's Response: Oh thank you so much! You definitely made me smile after a very long day :]\r\n-Lucia
Summary: A giantess and a wizard...just how did it happen?
The story of how love began between Hagrid Sr. and the giantess Fridwulfa.
Good good good... excellent! Please do make it a two-shot (at the very least.) I was afraid I might be grossed out, but I wasn't... in fact I found their meeting very touching. I think there are several ways to solve the difficulties you mentioned in your author's note, so don't stop because of them. You definitely have enough material for a longer story. Bravo and please continue!
Author's Response: Thanks so much, Fauna! I\'m still thinking about the two-shot thing; hopefully it will happen. ^_^
Neville has always dreamt of being able to cure his parents for their mental disorders someday. When he finally learns about a mysterious fairytale Scandinavian being Nšcken, he once again cherishes his old dreams and sets out in search of it.
Neville travels deep into the dark forests of Sweden, in a desperate search for the only being which might be able to heal his parents. But is it possible to find the Lord of the Rivers, and does he even exist?
However, Neville's journey takes a dangerous turn when two evil Death Eaters prepare for revenge on him.
This is JOHN91043353 of the magnificent, yet humble, Ravenclaw house for the Four Elements Challenge. This is the Water prompt.
Hey there, John!
This is an awesome entry for the challenge. Go Ravenclaw! Funnily enough I have an entry in the queue too, and guess what is about.... that's right! Neville and the curing of his mother. My entry is for the Air prompt, but I had no idea you where writing about almost the same thing for the Water prompt. Freaky. When I submitted my story I decided to read the other entries. What a surprise when I saw yours was about Neville too!
Now, on to your story....
The pacing and the setting are perfect. You have really captured the feel of a foreign country. Sweden just seems to come alive when I am reading. That is because you include details-- the flowers and their names, the lines in Swedish, etc. Obviously you don't want to go over-board with stuff like this, but you didn't.
Your characterizations are good. Harry and Ron's cameo appearance is excellent. They are perfectly in character, and I loved Ron's line: "No! Everything isn’t always about you Harry." LOL. That was great. Neville is good too, but if I were being super picky I might suggest making him a little more three-dimensional. My suggestion would be to give him some interesting thoughts/lines.
LinnŤa is a great OC. I definitely want to see more of her personality, she has a lot of potential. Make sure you give her a whole back-story in your head, even if you don't write about it in this story. You mentioned that Neville thinks she is a lot like Luna. Good-- let your readers discover the similarities too. Don't just come out and say: she is like Luna because of 'x'. Work in 'Luna-ish' speeches/actions/etc. You probably don't want to make them too similar, but that is why you should have her whole story worked out roughly in your head. That way you know exactly what she would say or do if x,y, or z happens. Am I making any sense?
I can't wait to meet the Lord of the Rivers, or see what happens when the two figures hiding in the bushes make their move.
Bravo, and good luck in the Challenge. May the best story win (and we will keep our fingers crossed that the best comes from Ravenclaw!)
Summary: Remus Lupin was not sure of what he was going to find when he went down to live with a colony of werewolves. What he certainly did not expect was a young couple who dreamed of escaping.
Written by Pondering of Ravenclaw as the final exam for Laurskii's DADA First Years' Class: The Art of the Story
That was beautiful and touching.
You have portrayed all the horribleness of the werewolf colony, but you managed to balance it too. The werewolves were not all bad-- there was Ylva. Catherine and Log were interesting characters. I could clearly understand how lycanthropy had affected their personalities. You seem to have a good grasp of the human psyche.
I noticed one or two missing words/minor details. Nothing really important but if you are super-super picky you might want to run though the story one more time.
Author's Response: Wow, thanks Steph, I\'m glad you liked it. I was trying to write about how growing up as werewolves would have affected the way they thought and saw the world, so I\'m really glad that came through.\r\n\r\nAnd I really should start getting my fics beta\'d. :)\r\n\r\n--Tash
What is a story without a scandal?
Underneath every burn hole on the tapestry of the Black family tree, there is a story, and underneath every story, there is a scandal.
In 1924, the Blacks were the most powerful family of the Wizarding World. They were greedy, back-stabbing, malicious, and power-hungry. And Cedrella was no exception. She was her father's favourite daughter; the pride of the Blacks, and it has earned her a conceited nature like no other.
But during her seventh year at Hogwarts, her life begins to become a little more clear, her family a little more conniving. She is arranged to wed the infamous Abraxus Malfoy and has people watching her every move to make sure she follows through. It makes it even more difficult when Septimus Weasley, a blood traitor and fellow classmate, starts to convince her, that for once in her life, she could have what she wanted.
A scandal forms between the two; a forbidden love between Black and Weasley behind the walls of Hogwarts. If they are found out, their lives will be ruined. But even under the opposition, what a Black wants...
a Black gets.
What a great start! You have portrayed the Black family perfectly. Cedrella is the kind of character you hate to love and love to hate-- spoiled, saucy, beautiful, and clever. She has so much potential-- I can't wait to see what happens.
I would advise you to get a second beta or a few advance readers. There were a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes. For example, you said Cedrella's father 'donned' a head of dark hair. 'To don' means to put on, i.e. get dressed; so you can say a man donned his cloak, but a man can only don his hair if he wears a wig. There are a few other things like this, but that one stood out for me. ;-) The spelling is also shaky in spots. But these are just technicalities. The story itself is top notch.
I loved the video trailer you have up on YouTube. Guys, if you haven't seen it already go check it out!
Well, this story definitely goes on my favorite list.