Hi, I'm Melissa. :0)
Wow, powerful ending - having Merope know she was going to die built up to it nicely.
One thing, Then everything went black as my last breathe escaped my body. That 'breathe' should be 'breath.'
Looks like the next chapter will be from Tom's POV, right? Can't wait to see what happens. =)
Author's Response: Thanks, I haven\'t updated at all yet, but I am planning on doing so soon. So Keep an eye out!
This is really great! The plot is so original, and from the first flashback you had me hooked.
I loved the way you wove in all the characters from the Black family tree, and I can't say I blame Regina for not wanting to be called Walburga.
One of my favorite parts was when Tom and Regina were figuring out I am Lord Voldemort. We already knew he started using it at school, but it was interesting to see how he could have come up with it.
Great first chapter! =)
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I\'m really glad you enjoyed it and thank you for your thoughtful review!
Interesting first chapter! I almost never see fics about Tom’s childhood, so this is definitely very original. I’m intrigued. =)
First of all, I loved how you characterized Tom! I think you kept him very close to what we saw of him acting like in the books, as well as adding your own spin to his character. In the beginning I even felt sorry for him – something I don’t normally do. He seemed like just a little boy who wanted someone to notice him. The sympathy didn’t last long though, as the story subtly shifts from making you feel sorry for Tom, to being able to see how creepy he can be, especially when he kills the rabbit. The way you wrote that scene, and also the ending line, were very powerful; I nearly had shivers.
This line also really stood out to me - No one ever remembered Tom. Not yet, anyway. I really liked that sentence, and I think it foreshadows very well what type of person Riddle’s going to become. It also fits with the title about him never wanting to be ordinary, even when he’s so young.
I also liked how you slipped in the characters we saw in HBP. It was nice to see Mrs. Cole and Billy get a personality, and I’m interested to see how their characters will play into the storyline.
Author's Response: Thank you for the great review! ^_^ I do almost feel sorry for Tom in the beginning when everyone forgets him and nobody likes him, but as soon as he killed that rabbit I lost all of my sympathy. Thanks again for the review! (It made me smile!)
Ooh, we meet some boys. =) Lillian is such a great character so far, and I can't wait to see what the tasks are.
Yay! I just finished A Different Sort of Peace / Happy Christmas, so I was wondering if we'd see Lillian (and the Christmas baby) again. I'm very intrigued so far, and can't wait to see what happens next! Loved the McGonagall bit, by the way. =)
Wow, this was really great. I’m looking forward to the next chapters. =) I really love Sirius fics, and the ones that explore his childhood are so interesting.
I think you wrote all the characters spot-on. Each young character fit their older personality very well. Bella’s ability to lie and manipulate was perfect, and Narcissa’s readiness to go along with what others say was great too.
My favorite part, though, was the ending. I thought the repetition of the I didn’t do it was chilling.
A few things –
I did notice the absence of Andromeda. Bella’s twelve, so I’d assume it’s not because she’s at Hogwarts, because Bella would be there too. It’s not a big thing, but even an offhand comment about why Andromeda isn’t there – maybe she doesn’t want to play with her younger cousins – would be a nice addition.
“Regulus,” interrupted Mrs Black, not even bothering to spear Sirius another glance… Do you mean ‘spare’ rather than ‘spear’?
Anyway, I really enjoyed reading this; it seemed like a missing moment from canon.
- Melissa =)
Author's Response: Well, firstly, thank you for the review, Melissa. Yeah, Sirius-centric stories are the best, as far as I'm concerned, and his childhood is an interesting thing to explore. There's so little that's really *known*, but there's enough to sort of piece a general picture together, I think.
Ah, young!Bella is *so* much fun to write - so it's good to hear she seemed IC.
As for Andromeda's absence ... I hadn't really thought of that, of figuring out why she wasn't there - hmm? (And yes, I *did* mean 'spare'. Should really go back and fix that.
Well, since you had me all intrigued with your one-shot, I thought I'd pop on over here and see what prompted it. I'm glad I did, too. =) This is such an interesting idea - that Andromeda and Lucius had a relationship. I don't think I've ever read anything like it before.
I like Andromeda's character a lot so far, and poor her, falling into the fountain. The little bit we saw of Cissy was good too - I've always thought they would've been friends.
Author's Response: Glad you\'re enjoying this, I had entirely too much fun with this story while writing. :) And yes, Andy is a little klutzy -- Tonks had to get her clumsiness from somewhere, yes? *giggles* Thanks for another review!
Wow, the ending was a surprise. I wasn't sure who was telling the story. Anyway, I really liked this. It was very different and original, and some of the lines were just so chilling. The bit about the bird being caught was - I don't know if lovely is the right word - haunting or fitting, I think. Great job.
Author's Response: Sorry it\'s taken me so long to respond! I\'m glad you were surprised by the ending -- I was sort of going for the shock factor. I\'m not quite sure where the idea came from for this story, but I was feeling sort of down when I wrote it -- looking back, it seems very dark. Glad you liked it! ~Nadia
Haha, loved James's story! This idea is so creative, and the rhymes at the beginning are great, too.
Hope you update soon - I want to know who's next! :D
This is really interesting so far! I love the switches between Head Mattering and the journal entries. Can't wait to see where this goes from here. =)
Author's Response: Thank you! I just sent off the second chapter to my wonderful Beta reader so I\'m hoping to have the next chapter before December 1st...no promises but I will try!
Wow, this is so great! I love the plot and the way you've written all the characters. Can't wait until your next update. =)
Well, you’ve got my attention! =D
It was a really good start. Your narrator seems very interesting, and Sirius was intriguingly mysterious. I can’t wait to see where you’re going with the plot.
One thing - in this paragraph:
‘You see, I’m a murder,’ he said, smiling slightly at the look I was giving him, as he got to his feet and dusted off his robes.
‘A murderer?’ I said, amazed. He looked nothing like a murder. Murders didn’t have straight noses and aristocratic good-looks — they had club feet!
You ‘murder’ instead of ‘murderer’ a couple of times. Just a minor thing.
Great job - I’ll be looking for your next update! =)
Author's Response: Thanks so much for picking out the mistakes! I fixed them. :) And thanks for the review, glad you liked the chapter.
Yay, yay, yay! It's up! I love this chapter.
You're wonderful. =)
Author's Response: And I just sent you a PM about this. Ha. It\'s finally up! Yay time to celebrate!
Well, I haven't read your chaptered story, but this made sense. And, I'll definitely be checking out said chaptered story in a few moments. =) Anyway, I really liked this. I loved the dialogue between Andromeda and Lucius - you could see they cared for each other, but also the differences that will (most likely) cause problems between them. Great job!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the nice review! :D I love this pairing, and it\'s nice to know I might be persuading others . . . or at least spreading the idea. ;)
Yay for tiny Andromeda/Ted moments! I loved all their glances and smiles - it was very cute. :)
Anyway, you've done a great job of fleshing out Ted's character so far. All of his quirks makes him seem like a real person, and his narration is very easy to read. And I really like that he and Aveline seem comfortable around each other; it makes it believable that they're best friends.
Well, now I'm off to the next chapter. I want to see if Ted's about to find himself in a bit of trouble... *clicks* :)
Author's Response: Lol. Thanks for all the compliments. I tried my best to get across both flaws and strengths, as well as relationships. :] I\'m glad you\'re enjoying this so far.
It was a little bit of a surprise when it's Andromeda narrating this chapter, but I really liked the change. It's cool to see both her and Ted's point of view and what they think about each other.
I really like the way you write Andromeda, too. Her descriptions of life at home and of her life at Hogwarts seem like they could be canon. Her "relationship" with Raphael, who seems like the biggest jerk ;), is an interesting twist, and I'm excited to see what's going to happen with him next. That last line looks pretty promising.
I'm very much enjoying this story so far! :)
Author's Response: Haha. Well when I began thinking about writing this, I realized I didn\'t want to write in third person. I almost always write in first person anyways. However, I couldn\'t see writing from just one point of view. Andromeda kept popping up and stating her views so I let her have it. :] I rather thought throwing Raphael in was cliche but I was willing to take the risk. I rather saw her family setting her up early on in life like they did in the old days with royal families.
Go Ted! I kept waiting for him to get up and take out Raphael, and I was very happy that when he punched him. :)
I love that Sirius gave Andromeda the star pin, and her comment about him was sad and sweet at the same time.
Update soon, please! I want to see if Ted ends up with that reward kiss. :)
Author's Response: These are the best comments. It\'s awesome to see how well the readers are connecting with the characters. :] I\'ve sent the fourth chapter to my betas but I fear they\'re both on vacation. So as soon as I get that back and make the changes, you can expect a new chapter. :]
Wow, that was great! The writing style was something I really haven't seen before, and the originality of it made it very interesting to read.
That one symbolizes death, death, the absence of life, death, the loss of life, death, the loss of light as one is consumed by eternal darkness. This line in particular is so haunting; it was one of my favorites. I loved the way you repeated death throughout the sentence.
One thing I noticed: He watched it pass through James Potters’ body... Your apostrophe should be in between the 'r' and the 's.' But that's just a minor thing.
Oh, and Matarse - is that Spanish for 'to kill oneself'? My translation could be off, but in any case, the title caught my attention!
Great job! :)
Poor, poor Ron – I can definitely relate. Reading this brought back memories of when I learned to drive, and my dad made snide remarks about grandmas walking faster than my car. (I was a bit too cautious.) :D
Anyway, I thought you did a wonderful job with keeping everyone in character. Ron was hilarious and Hermione was spot-on. The very last line was great – and very sneaky of Ron. But this had to be my favorite line: “Oh it doesn’t matter,” said Hermione enthusiastically, ignoring his swearing. “I can help you – it’ll be just like when we were at school – I can make a timetable and help you make notes, just like old times.” Absolutely perfect. :) Oh, and the bit about Harry and Ginny teasing Ron about his lessons was a great detail to add.
Am I right in guessing the title comes from the movie that Rupert Grint is in called Driving Lessons? Regardless, I thought it fit nicely!
This was such a fun one-shot to read, and it definitely brightened my night. :D
Harry Potter had seen death - a lot of death. Friends had passed in his lifetime, more so than any one person should ever experience, but how much is too much, even for the Chosen One?
Ron Weasley is dead, leaving behind his wife and his best mate. How can these two cope with their Trio being cut down to two? And when danger lurks in the shadows, can they find the strength to fight for one another?
Ah, I had a bunch to catch up on! Anyway, this is just getting better and better! I can't wait to see what happens next. :)
*hugs my ex-moddie*
I'm glad to see you are still following the story. That makes me mucho happy, I have to admit. It's about 2/3 done, and as you can see, the big stuff is very close to happening. Stay tuned. :D