Penname: FeatherTrader [Contact]
Real name: Danielle
Member Since: 05/09/06
Website:
Beta-reader: 1
Status: Member
Bio:
[Report This]
Reviews by FeatherTrader
 

Diary of a Mad Little Owl by lily_writes
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 11]

Summary: Is Pigwidgeon really a hyper little owl, or is he more like devious little Stewie Griffin? Find out in his diary entry, the only one ever known to be written by an owl. This is for the One-Shot Challenge - Owls, written by Lily_writes of Ravenclaw.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 883 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/12/06 Updated: 06/16/06


Reviewer: FeatherTrader Signed
Date: 06/20/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I really like his name, it's very creative. Hyper little birdie, isn't he? I like how you portrayed him though. I think it was interesting how you adressed how owls find their way to people their letters are for.

My favourite part(save from the name) had to have been Pig mistaking Buckbeak for a pillow. Just imagine the thing Draco pretended had hurt him so badly, Pig thought was a pillow. (lol) Wonderful one-shot.

Author's Response: I have to admit, it was very fun writing from an owl\'s pov for once. But thinking up Pig\'s \"real\" name was a little bit of a challenge. Thanks for the lovely review.

 
Reviewer: FeatherTrader Signed
Date: 06/20/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I really like his name, it's very creative. Hyper little birdie, isn't he? I like how you portrayed him though. I think it was interesting how you adressed how owls find their way to people their letters are for.

My favourite part(save from the name) had to have been Pig mistaking Buckbeak for a pillow. Just imagine the thing Draco pretended had hurt him so badly, Pig thought was a pillow. (lol) Wonderful one-shot.

Author's Response: You must\'ve really liked it, to give me two of the same reviews. ;) (lol)

 

The Fateful Night by Drea
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 2]

Summary: Athena thinks back when Lily first bought her from Eeylop's. When her mind comes back to the present, she sees a scene she didn't want to see. I'm dreatonkslupin writing this story for Hufflepuff. One-Shot Challenge-Owls.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 2049 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/13/06 Updated: 06/16/06


Reviewer: FeatherTrader Signed
Date: 06/24/06 Title: Chapter 1: The Fateful Night

I like how you did Lily and James' death from an owl's point of view, I don't think I've seen it done before. It was interesting how you came up with spells and magically enhanced objects to provide solutions for the different facts we know to be true. Like the "Amor Contego" and the crib that flipped over when Harry began crying. Very interesting.

My favourite part was how Athena liked Edwin. It just seems kind of ironic to me that James' likes Lily, and Lily's owl likes James' owl. Keep up the fantastic writing!

 

One with the Shadows by whittyleah
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: Draco finds a way to move like the shadow...will he let it overtake him?





Winner of the May Monthly Challenge number two by Whittyleah of Gryffindor house!

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 897 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/13/06 Updated: 06/16/06


Reviewer: FeatherTrader Signed
Date: 06/24/06 Title: Chapter 1: One-shot

Wow, that was pretty interesting! I liked how in the beginging you had him wanting to be completly dark, to blend in with everything. Then, in the middle you had him conflicting his powers, unsure if this made him stronger or weaker than others. The end however was my favourite part when he finally stepped out of the darkness and decided he didn't want to be in the shadows anymore. He was still at loss, but at least he was out of the shadows.

I liked your idea for this, it was an interesting way to take on Draco trying to decide whether he wanted to complete his mission or not. Whether he wanted to take that kind of drastic move.

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing! It gives me bubbly feelings inside to get nice reviews that are more than a sentence long! :)

 

Intercepted Journey by rgfawkes
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: Owl's One-Shot Challenge; Gryffindor



This is my twist on what happened during chapter seventeen of OoTP when Hedwig appeared to Harry during History of Magic. Hedwig's POV. Some minor swearing. One-Shot.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1497 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/15/06 Updated: 06/19/06


Reviewer: FeatherTrader Signed
Date: 06/20/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Wonderful one-shot! I love how you gave Hedwig certain chararistics like her sarcasm and her being sassy. I really like how you started it off, with the vivid descriptions and such.

Personally, my favourite part was:
" “Not at all well,” Harry said moving me behind him as if I was a quaffle." Not only because of Harry's dialogue (On that note, I think you got his dialect perfectly) but because of the referal to Hedwig as a quaffle. Keep up the fantastic writing!

Author's Response: I am living on cloud nine with all my wonderful reviews! I was worried upon submitting this that people might get peeved at sassy!Hedwig but so far so good! I\'m glad you like it and I\'m glad I managed to get Harry spot on!

 

Summary: Frank Feeble is the mysterious and somewhat annoying Ministry employee who sends office memos to Minister for Magic, Cornelius Fudge. He asks for a meeting but a Minister has more important things to attend to.


This fic won the May Monthly Challenge #3: I Satirise Thee...


Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2257 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/16/06 Updated: 06/16/06


Reviewer: FeatherTrader Signed
Date: 06/24/06 Title: Chapter 1: Frank Feeble and the Ministry of Magic

That was quite a cute one-shot. I liked how you showed how the days progressed until finally the Minister called on him for parchment, and found that everything else was gone also. The ending added a bit of humour to it. I liked how you showed Fudge being busy with the different meetings and different people he had to find time to entertain.

My favourite part was your portrayle of Unbridge. I could see her acting that way from what we know about her from her stay at Hogwarts. She would have been careful not to step on any toes, but still eager to prove she was right. Overall, your one-shot was quite enjoyable.

Author's Response: Thank your for the review, FeatherTrader! I quite like Umbridge as a character, I must admit. I mean, I love to hate her, and she is good to write, she is more of a challenge, I have to say. Anyways, thanks again!

 

Bound by lily_evans34
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 30]

Summary: Hedwig reflects upon her life, and her relatioship with Harry. Written for the One Shot Owls challenge by lily_evans34 of Ravenclaw.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 847 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/16/06 Updated: 06/19/06


Reviewer: FeatherTrader Signed
Date: 06/20/06 Title: Chapter 1: Bound

Strong ending. I like the contrast in the story. The majority of te one-shot, Hedwig is comparing herself to Harry, how they both thought they were content, but now it is evident that neither is. How Harry was bound, but she believed she wasn't.

My favourite part was the ending, where Hedwig comes to the realization that she too is bound, but not by the physical limits like Harry, but by emotion. It's a very strong ending. Well, really it's a strong one-shot.

Author's Response: Thanks! You\'re review meant a lot to me; it was very nice and well thought out! My favorite part was the ending, too. The story was a bit short, but I wrote it on split-second impulse to get it in for the Owls challenge, so that\'s that. Glad you didn\'t mind the shortness, but I really didn\'t know how to expand it any more. So, glad you liked the ending, and thanks so much for the review!

 

The Little Owl Who Believed by Bryant
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: A little owl who never stops believing that he will one day be the greatest post-owl that ever lived, is dissipointed when he finds out that he is going to be shipped to Romania. However, something happens that he never expected, and he finds himself leaving the place he lived in for so long to have a new life.



Written by Bryant of Ravenclaw for the One-Shot Owl Challenge.



Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1668 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/17/06 Updated: 06/19/06


Reviewer: FeatherTrader Signed
Date: 06/20/06 Title: Chapter 1: The Little Owl Who Believed

Wonderful story of the future Pig. Or at least I'm assuming it's Pig. I like the moral of the story, how in the end the owl prevailed because he didn't give up and had the shop keeper's sympathy.

Also, I like how you had the man (Sirius?) think it over before committing to the owl. I can see a man-in-hiding doing that, especially Sirius. Very cute ending, it makes Pig seem so much more...daring? Wonderful one-shot.

Author's Response: Yes this is the story of Pig and how Sirius found him. The moral came rather naturally without force, and I find that unforced ideas turn out better then forced ones, so I decided to write it for the challenge. Thanks so much for your review! -Bryant

 
Reviewer: FeatherTrader Signed
Date: 06/20/06 Title: Chapter 1: The Little Owl Who Believed

Wonderful story of the future Pig. Or at least I'm assuming it's Pig. I like the moral of the story, how in the end the owl prevailed because he didn't give up and had the shop keeper's sympathy.

Also, I like how you had the man (Sirius?) think it over before committing to the owl. I can see a man-in-hiding doing that, especially Sirius. Very cute ending, it makes Pig seem so much more...daring? Wonderful one-shot.

 

They Call Me Professor by the_evenstar
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 8]

Summary: So, Percy’s been sending a lot of mail the summer before his sixth year… Who’s he been writing to, and what does Hermes think about all of this?

My entry for the One-Shot Challenge – Owls.



Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1517 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/17/06 Updated: 06/19/06


Reviewer: FeatherTrader Signed
Date: 06/21/06 Title: Chapter 1: The Professor

Very cute. I like how you put a humerous spin on it, it really added a lot to it. I like how you had Hermes' thoughts and snide remarks where all italized and sarcastic. It really added a lot.

Personally, my favourite part was when Percy was trying to write Penelope a letter, and the 'compliment' about her eyes being 'like Mars on the eve of turmoi.l' Very funny.

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I\'m really glad you enjoyed my story. And personally, that was one of my favorite parts, too - I just couldn\'t imagine him being romantic at all! :)

Again, thanks for reviewing, and I\'m glad you liked it! :-D

 
Reviewer: FeatherTrader Signed
Date: 06/21/06 Title: Chapter 1: The Professor

Very cute. I like how you put a humerous spin on it, it really added a lot to it. I like how you had Hermes' thoughts and snide remarks where all italized and sarcastic. It really added a lot.

Personally, my favourite part was when Percy was trying to write Penelope a letter, and the 'compliment' about her eyes being 'like Mars on the eve of turmoi.l' Very funny.

Author's Response: Thanks!

 

Summary: Everywhere people raise their glasses in a toast to Harry Potter. How many of them do the same for Hedwig? Owls can burn with jealousy too.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 859 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/18/06 Updated: 06/21/06


Reviewer: FeatherTrader Signed
Date: 06/24/06 Title: Chapter 1: Hedwig

I loved how you used repetion in your one-shot, it really added to the piece as a whole. I like the personality you created for Hedwig, it was an interesting aspect to take up with her. I thought the owl hiarchy with where everyone sat on the beams in the owlery was an interesting idea also.

My favourite part was the whole section about the basilisk. How Hedwig found out by relation and knew before Harry did. Wonderful one-shot!

Author's Response: thank you so much! *huggles*

 
Reviewer: FeatherTrader Signed
Date: 06/24/06 Title: Chapter 1: Hedwig

I loved how you used repetion in your one-shot, it really added to the piece as a whole. I like the personality you created for Hedwig, it was an interesting aspect to take up with her. I thought the owl hiarchy with where everyone sat on the beams in the owlery was an interesting idea also.

My favourite part was the whole section about the basilisk. How Hedwig found out by relation and knew before Harry did. Wonderful one-shot!

Author's Response: Awwwww! It\'s reviews like these which make me want to abandon my homework and come to he computer. (Not that I wouldn\'t do that anyway but still.....

Author's Response: Awwwww! It\'s reviews like these which make me want to abandon my homework and come to he computer. (Not that I wouldn\'t do that anyway but still.....

 

Evangeline by pandafan81
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 14]

Summary: Written for the One-Shot Owl Challenge for Hufflepuff House.



I hate my name. Evangeline was once a proud and beautiful name, but I am no longer, “A bringer of good news”. I wish they would change my name. Maybe Deirdra, which means, “sorrowful wanderer,” would be a good choice. Laraine and Lola both mean sorrowful, those would certainly do. Or maybe Dolores, which means, “Lady of Sorrows,” yes, I certainly am a lady of sorrows.



Well, an owl of sorrows anyway.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1219 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/18/06 Updated: 06/21/06


Reviewer: FeatherTrader Signed
Date: 06/23/06 Title: Chapter 1: Evangeline

I like how you started it off when the meaning of her name, and went back to it towards the resolution. It also added a lot as you started at the end, and then went back to the beginging to explain the emotions and feelings. Also, I thought it was neat how you tied the Hedwig and Evangeline together, well, relativly at least... Wonderful job.

My favourite part had to be when Cedric was talking to his owl about Cho, it's just funny when you think of it. Wonderful one-shot with a lot of emotion, it seriously made me feel bad for Evangeline.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the thoughtful review. I\'m glad you appreciated the emotions Evangeline was going through. Thank you again!

 

The Other Potter by lily_writes
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 15]

Summary: At long last, Harry Potter defeated Voldemort giving the wizarding world peace. Now that Voldemort has been vanquished, Harry is told of his twin living in Paris, France, after being separated for eighteen years. So he sets off on a journey to meet his twin. This is for the May Monthly Challenge #1 by Lily_writes of Ravenclaw.

Categories: Alternate Universe Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe

Word count: 1088 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/20/06 Updated: 06/21/06


Reviewer: FeatherTrader Signed
Date: 06/21/06 Title: Chapter 1: The Journey to the French Land

I like the idea of James and Lily not wanting to raise Elizabeth after having an idea of what Harry would soon (or at least possibly) have to take on. However, my favourite part (besides from the ending that just makes you want to go 'aww') is the letter James wrote. I can see new parents writing something like that before they enter into a growing wizarding war where people are dieing left and right. Overall, great work!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I\'m happy you liked it.

 

Imaginary by Potter
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 137]

Summary: COMPLETE!

Remus Lupin has always been different, ever since he was bitten by a werewolf and forced to live his life with the curse. He had no friends and never expected to have any until he started Hogwarts. But even once he entered school his wish didn't come true, until his third year. Remus would soon learn that with every good comes something equally bad.

Excerpt from Chapter Nineteen:

“What do you want, Lupin?” he asked exasperatedly.

“You hate me, don’t you?” Remus said in a friendly manner, as though he and Snape had been best friends since infancy.

“Gee, what tipped you off?” Snape retorted sarcastically.

“Then you would love to see me get hurt, wouldn’t you?”

“Well yes, I would enjoy that.”

“Especially if it was of my own doing?”

“That would make it even more amusing.”

“Then would you do me the favor of telling Larry Wilkins that I’d like to meet him out by the greenhouses at ten o’ clock tonight?”



Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Violence

Word count: 94534 Chapters: 19 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/24/06 Updated: 03/13/07


Reviewer: FeatherTrader Signed
Date: 07/08/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Wonderful fanfic so far. It’s left me with plenty of curious questions. Like, I’m curious to what house Larry Wilkins will be sorted into. I think it was an interesting (although slightly uncanon) idea to make Remus be a sort of loner going into third year. I did find a few nit-picks that really don’t effect the flow of the story, but still should be mentioned.

“But there’s always that very likely chance that you’ll find those few people who will milk it for all its worth… which is why you must keep it a secret, your true identity.” ‘its’ should really be ‘it’s’ since you are referring to it is, instead of its being possessive.

Also, when you are referring to something that belongs to Remus, it should correctly be written, ‘It was Remus’ book.’ And don’t forget, when you’re talking to someone, you would have a comma. Like with, ‘Yes mum.’ You would have a comma between yes and mum.

‘“Oh I’m sorry,” she apologized, taking it up herself to straighten her son’s shirt.’ One of the small (and only) brit-picks I can pick up on is the generally switched ‘z’ which is preferred by Americans, to the softer ‘s’ which is usually written by people from Britain.

I love your style, especially your personifications. This chapter is just filled with them. It really adds a lot to the different descriptions. Instead of the bricks just separating, they politely separated. Really wonderful.

 
Reviewer: FeatherTrader Signed
Date: 07/08/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Wonderful fanfic so far. It’s left me with plenty of curious questions. Like, I’m curious to what house Larry Wilkins will be sorted into. I think it was an interesting (although slightly uncanon) idea to make Remus be a sort of loner going into third year. I did find a few nit-picks that really don’t effect the flow of the story, but still should be mentioned.

“But there’s always that very likely chance that you’ll find those few people who will milk it for all its worth… which is why you must keep it a secret, your true identity.” ‘its’ should really be ‘it’s’ since you are referring to it is, instead of its being possessive.

Also, when you are referring to something that belongs to Remus, it should correctly be written, ‘It was Remus’ book.’ And don’t forget, when you’re talking to someone, you would have a comma. Like with, ‘Yes mum.’ You would have a comma between yes and mum.

‘“Oh I’m sorry,” she apologized, taking it up herself to straighten her son’s shirt.’ One of the small (and only) brit-picks I can pick up on is the generally switched ‘z’ which is preferred by Americans, to the softer ‘s’ which is usually written by people from Britain.

I love your style, especially your personifications. This chapter is just filled with them. It really adds a lot to the different descriptions. Instead of the bricks just separating, they politely separated. Really wonderful.

Author's Response: Hey thanks for the review and taking the time to find mistakes. I\'ll check those out and fix them up. I hope you like the next chapter and the rest of story.

 

Goodbye by Sarakime
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 37]

Summary: On the last Hogwarts Express ride home, a certain Slytherin has very regretful thoughts.



Book 6 Disregarded



One-shot.

Check out the banner for this story on my author's page!!!♥

Categories: Hermione/Draco Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1377 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/04/06 Updated: 07/07/06


Reviewer: FeatherTrader Signed
Date: 06/27/07 Title: Chapter 1: The Train Ride

I adore all the comparisons through-out this. It has that I’m-jealous-of-what-you-have-but-I-would-never-admit-it feeling. (I think I’m a hyphen addict)

No one really knew where Draco's loyalties lied.

This should be laid...I think. I’ve never been too good at keeping lay and lie straight, but since the action is being directed towards loyalties, I think it’s laid. Key word being think.

Wasn't it Father who said that only Mudbloods should be servants? Draco reasoned.

I really like the characterization in this line. In such a simple sentence we get a really good glimpse of how Draco’s emotions have evolved towards his dad. Since he doesn’t want to become a Death Eater, he has to justify himself. Even when there’s no one but himself to justify himself to. It’s a nice change from the normal self-assured Draco, and you did it without making him seem even the tiniest bit out of character. Amazing!

Ministry Officials, including Arthur Weasley, had flooded into Diagon Alley, making sure that the elder of the Malfoy's went to Azkaban, for good.

Arthur too? This leaves me a bit confused sense Arthur works in the Office for the Detection and Confiscation of Counterfeit Defensive Spells and Protective Objects. I think if you went into more detail over it, you could make it work properly, though. It’s just not in canon as it stands.

It should be ‘the elders of the Malfoys went to Azkaban,’ since I’m assuming both Lucius and Narcissa went.

He recalled how his father had always told, almost pushed Draco into believing that he should follow in his mighty steps, becoming a Death Eater and ever faithful servant to the Dark Lord.

When I first read this sentence, it confused me and I thought it might be a run-on. As I’m re-reading it though, I think spell check fixed things that shouldn’t have been fixed. I think you meant ‘always told, always pushed’ and then later in the sentence, ‘becoming a Death Eater, an ever faithful’. If I’m completely off though, just ignore me. =]

Even though the Malfoys never give up, and always get what they want, this was the exception.

Again, I love Draco’s characterization. He goes through so much trouble to justify what he wants, or to make something seem unplausible, that it only shows how he really feels about something. Also, I just like how this sentence is worded.

Oh, yeah. One small nit-pick since I’m going on a hyphen frenzy. When talking about the memories and what year Hermione was in at the time, it should be third-year and fourth-year.

Overall, I think it’s amazing how easily you can justify Draco’s feelings towards Hermione. Wonderful fanfic.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for yet another amazing review. I can\'t believe I made that many mistakes! *slaps self* Well, about Arthur, I just wanted it to be known that Aurther Weasley was there, and knew about it. Henceforth letting us realize that Ron, Harry, and Hermione must have also known about his father\'s imprisonment. That was really all I was trying to get at. Thanks so much for the review, and the help!

 

Summary: The House of Black may look beautifully decorated and filled with life through the eyes of someone who had never lived there, but when two boys have spent their entire childhood suffering the pain their family gave them, this same house looks only melancholy and depressing.


Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1383 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/21/06 Updated: 07/23/06


Reviewer: FeatherTrader Signed
Date: 08/25/06 Title: Chapter 1: That Fateful Night

Poor Regulus. Sirius really was hard on him, wasn’t he? I mean, even though he was portrayed as a push over, he doesn’t deserve that sort of thing from his older brother. But I like how you kind of gave us an inside look on their relationship as brothers. How Regulus couldn’t even offer his older brother some friendly advice without the two ending up in a shouting match. Very interesting.

My favourite line was towards the introduction; ‘Its walls were slathered with a dark, forest green that shut out much of the light coming in through the windows.’ The imagery in this sentence is fantastic. I can imagine the room perfectly, even though it makes me shudder to do so.

Overall, I think you did a wonderful job of portraying the night Sirius left, but perhaps it would have been better if you added more detail. I think you got the descriptions covered, but maybe going deeper into the brother’s relationship or his mother’s frustration?

Author's Response: I wanted to focus more on the description, emotions, and general feeling of the piece then spesific thoughts between the characters. But I\'m glad you like it. Thanks for the review!

 

Eye Contact by Viv
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 10]

Summary: Have you ever wondered what would have looked like Harry's escape from the Dursleys in Prisoner of Azkaban from Sirius Black's point of view? Watch the scene while our favorite Animagus tries to get a glimpse of his godson before heading for his long journey.


This was written for the In-House July Challenge in my house, Slytherin. Enjoy!

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1332 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/28/06 Updated: 08/03/06


Reviewer: FeatherTrader Signed
Date: 06/26/07 Title: Chapter 1: Eye Contact

Sirius is amazing. Just had to say that. Anyway, I really like the idea behind this one-shot. It's a very unique idea, although surprisingly simple.

I think you did a fantastic job with Sirius's characterization. The mixture of the guilt and curiosity was the exactly perfect proportion. I liked how he kept bringing everything back to Peter's betrayal, and consequently how it made him feel like it was his fault. It really hit his motives for everything he did head on.

He had to make up for his mistake, to avenge his best friends’s death. Small typo here. There's an extra 's' in friend's. I'm assuming you were referring to James, so it would be friend's. Although, if you were talking about James and Lily, then it's friends'.

He has waited thirteen years for his revenge, he could wait for another twenty four hours. Very small nit-pick that some people don't even bother with anymore. There should be a hyphen between twenty and four. Sorry, pet peeve.

Was he well treated? Did he have some complicity with his aunt and uncle? Sirius sighed heavily at this thought, doubting that he would ever have the opportunity to share some good moments with his godson. This is my favorite excerpt that supports Sirius's wonderful characterization. I love how he seems to constantly be asking questions and reevaluating his thoughts. Through all these questions, he almost seems to realize exactly how much he has missed during his stay in Azkaban. Poor Sirius.

He disappeared at the end of the alleyway, leaving Harry to stare in wonder at an empty spot. I really like the ending. It kind of leaves the reader wondering but then not really. After all, we know what happens, but it just has the feeling... Almost like we're missing something. Does that even make sense? I feel like it needs to be expanded a bit on.

In certain parts, I feel like it should have been expanded on. Like, how did Sirius feel when he caught Harry's eyes? Overall though, it was really well written.

Author's Response: How comforting it is to see a new review for this fic! It was my first one you see! It was for an in-house challenge, someone gave the idea and I wrote it. We knew Sirius was focused on finding Peter, it was his ultimate motive to escape from Askaban, so I knew I had to show how angry he was with him, but also angry with himself. He had pushed the Potters to choose Peter instead of him, so somehow he must\'ve feel guilty... And yes, I thought \"poor Sirius\" too when I made him think about all he had missed while in prison. About the typo, I was refering to James and Lily, so it\'s friends. And I didn\'t know about the hyphen between twenty and four. Thanks for the hint! You\'re right, I could\'ve expanded the end and talk about Sirius\' feelings when he saw Harry. Now that you mention it, I don\'t know why I didn\'t do it. It would have completed the whole thing nicely... Oh well, what is done is done! Thank you for your wonderful review, it is really appreciated!

 
Information
Find out everything you need to know about the site right here.


We have stories and authors in this archive.

:

RSS
Choose Theme:
SOCIAL MEDIA
     
MOST RECENT
Unexploded Bombs by Oregonian 1st-2nd Years
Dudley Dursley has just experienced the death of his elderly father Vernon from...
Ginny's Big Decision by dg04 1st-2nd Years
After Dumbledore's Funeral, Harry tells Ginny that they can't be together anymore...
Little Lions by SexY_LydZ 6th-7th Years
On a stormy October evening, a letter, a late night trip to the library and...
FEATURED
Going Against Salazar's Grain by hestiajones 1st-2nd Years
"Sometimes," said Dumbledore, "we sort too soon." Originally writtten for...
Whispers in the Night by lucca4 6th-7th Years
"Swear to me, Cissy. Swear you won't tell." It's a secret, and it haunts...
Fear and Loathing in Florida (Mostly Loathing) by minnabird 3rd-5th Years
Scabior and Greyback had to escape the Aurors somehow - they just hadn't expected...
Just Before Healing by WeasleyMom 3rd-5th Years
With Hannah, things always go to yellow.
In Bloom by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor 3rd-5th Years
It figures that he ignores the other side of roses. Thorns fit to draw blood...
Magical by Nagini Riddle 1st-2nd Years
Ginny and her brothers sneak down the stairs to look at presents, but instead...
CATEGORIES