Penname: Gmariam [Contact]
Real name: Gina
Member Since: 05/04/06
Website:
Beta-reader:
Status: Member
Bio:
Welcome to my author page!

I am a teacher, musician, reader, and avid Harry Potter fan. I am originally from the Midwest and now live a bit farther south. I am thrilled to be a proud member of RAVENCLAW House and enjoyed being a site moderator for a time as well.

I hope you enjoy the many stories and poems I have written. I am proud of them all and appreciate any feedback you might care to leave (in other words, reviews are love!) I've listed them below with a short description since I know trolling through summaries can be tedious. Thanks for reading!

EDIT: Someday I will categorize my stories by genre. Today is not that day. ;)
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Reviews by Gmariam
 

Cold Dreams by Equinox Chick
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: Not all marriages are idyllic - not even for a hero. And however much we want someone to have a happy ending, love sometimes has a way of upsetting the equilibrium.

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. To my knowledge all her heroes had the happy-ever-afters they deserved.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 116 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/30/11 Updated: 03/30/11


Reviewer: Gmariam Signed
Date: 03/31/11 Title: Chapter 1: Cold Dreams

I think this is rather tragic. It's just so sad to think this happens to Hannah and Neville. Are they done for good? I don't know anything about tritinas, but I'm assuming three words must repeat? As sad as they are, your three words work together perfectly. I especially like how they can have double meanings.
Very melancholy, but very well done!
~Gina :)

Author's Response: Yes, the three words do have to repeat and in a certain order. I rather like it as a form of poetry but it can be tricky getting it to sound unforced. I feel very guilty for writing this, actually because I think Neville deserves happiness ... so perhaps their estrangement only lasted a short while.

Thank you so much for the review. ~Carole~

 

Flight Song by minnabird
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary:

During the second war, many must leave their homes and run for their lives. What must they feel, forced to hide from a government that hates their very existence?

Nominated for Best Poem in the 2011 Quicksilver Quill Awards.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 194 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/04/11 Updated: 04/06/11


Reviewer: Gmariam Signed
Date: 04/06/11 Title: Chapter 1: Flight Song

WOW! That was amazing! I love poems with strong rhyme and rhythm more than anything, and this was spot on. The 'Running, running, breath comes ragged, Fear still cuts like razons jagged;' was particularly brilliant. And then the way it changed at the end - guh! Amazing! I don't have the soundtrack, but my guess is the poem fits the music perfectly. Wonderful job! ~Gina :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for your review, Gina. =D I'm a fan of strong rhyme and rhythm as well - probably why I use it so much when I write. I'm glad a fellow rhyme-and-rhythm fan enjoyed this poem. And you should definitely Youtube "Obliviate." It's just such a beautiful song.

 

The Solitary Prewett by hestiajones
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 9]

Summary: Molly had always wanted to be a Healer. So why did she run away when she had the chance?

Many, many thanks to the opaleye and Equinox Chick for their help and inputs! I love Molly Weasley and side-eye people who see her only as a baby-producing machine. If you're one of those people, this might not be the fic for you.

DISCLAIMER: No, JKRowling is definitely not me.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1027 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/04/11 Updated: 04/04/11


Reviewer: Gmariam Signed
Date: 04/04/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

That was very sweet! I absolutely believed the entire beginning about Molly becoming a Healer. Her thoughts were very well done, especially about her brothers. The connection to her not wanting to be alone and having a large family is perfect. The only thing I wanted more of was Arthur. Just a bit of set up so he didn't show up out of the blue. Of course that's why they ran away, but I would have liked a bit more from their meeting. That probably wasn't the point of the story, but you write young Molly and Arthur so well it would be lovely!
~Gina :)

Author's Response: Ahhh...I never even considered adding much of Arthur because I wanted to focus on Molly. As for the meeting, I planned to make it a bit drawn out but it was going into...er...a territory which might not be appreciated by the presentee. D: I do have an idea in mind, so I might as well write it some day.

But YAY for the successful characterisation of Molly. You have read PI; you know how I feel about Molly. >.< Thanks for reading and reviewing, Gina. <333

~Natalie

 

Say by C_A_Campbell
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: It was only three words. Three tiny words. It should have been the easiest thing in the world. Yet, it wasn’t. It was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life.

Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 3138 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/06/11 Updated: 04/20/11


Reviewer: Gmariam Signed
Date: 04/20/11 Title: Chapter 1: Why couldn't he say just it?

I think this is wonderful, I really do. It was lovely to read and I smiled the entire time. If you are not comfortable with this couple, it really doesn't show. I think what is so strong about it is how you wove in several scenes from the book/movie and fleshed out Ron so well. I had forgotten about that book he had, great detail! They are so in character here, it's beautiful: Hermione reacting with ire and irritation, Ron thinking about food and stumbling over his thoughts until something else pops out. Great appearance by Fred (I'm so glad you chose him considering his sad fate later.) Really well done. The end was really sort of heartbreaking, when they drop hands. I felt so bad for Ron. The last three sentences tied it up perfectly. Think you'll write the story when he finally gets those words out? ;)
Really nice story, Chante!
~Gina :)

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing this story. I'm very flattered that you liked it so well. I don't write Ron or Hermione very often, so I'm glad that you thought I kept them in character. Will I write a sequel to this? No...yes...maybe... I don't know. I have been writing Ron/Hermione more, but I don't know if I could manage something quite like that. But we shall see. Again, thanks for reviewing and I'm really glad you liked it.

 

Summary: Three brides rise with the sun on their special day, all with different perspectives and feelings about their big day

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 174 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/06/11 Updated: 04/06/11


Reviewer: Gmariam Signed
Date: 07/04/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I can't believe I missed this on the Recents list! It's really lovely. The rhythm is spot on, it flows beautifully. I love the repeating last line, it really connects the "stories" of each of these brides. I have to admit I looked at the reviews to find the answer to who they might be (sorry, I'm lazy, lol) and I think it works really well for each of them.What made you chose those three? I'm just curious. Great poem - you really are a strong poet, even if you don't think so!! *hugs* ~Gina :)

Author's Response:

This is written in ballade form, so the repeating last line is sort of the *thing* it's supposed to do. I could have kicked myself for picking the dumbest rhyming word set for the most often repeated one, but I cheated here and there and it sorted itself out... thank Merlin.

I thought of those three because I'm a failed human being. DX I wrote the poem and tried to work out which bride was which by what I had already written. The first was always supposed to be Narcissa and the last one one of the Trio Era brides, showing the tides of change and how certain things weren't an issue anymore. The rest was supreme BS and fudging on my part. Yes, I am really that shoddy, lol.

Heart you, Twin. Thanks for reading!

~Jess

 

Not Alone by The_Real_Hermione
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 13]

Summary: Teddy Lupin appears to be surrounded by love and happiness, yet sometimes death and loneliness overshadow everything he does.

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 1329 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/08/11 Updated: 04/18/11


Reviewer: Gmariam Signed
Date: 04/18/11 Title: Chapter 1: Not Alone

That was very sweet yet poignant and sad at the same time. I liked the way you approached it, almost a mix between first and second point of view. Victoire's voice (it was her, right?) came through clearly by the end and was lovely and sincere in her love for Teddy. Teddy's sadness was also very real, and yet you also gave him a bit of hope and light as well.

My favorite part was the part about the Shrieking Shack. Although I wasn't exactly sure why she smacked Teddy's friend, I could still picture her asking about him, running out after him, and finding him in the Shrieking Shack. What a powerful place for him to go and mourn! I really liked that scene and think it would make another nice one-shot. Were they together before then, or was that perhaps when Teddy realized it as well?

Lovely story for Teddy, Katrina! I enjoyed reading it. :)

~Gina :)

Author's Response: Hi Gina, I'm so honoured that you (as in one of my favourite authors on Mugglenet) took the time to review one of my fics, and that you enjoyed it too! The perspective really came from the song, and I thought it would be fun to try out something new. (Yes it was Victoire's voice.) This is the first story I've written about Teddy, but he is a character I've always been drawn to... in many ways, he's like Harry - having to grow up without his parents and never really understanding what they died for. And I'm sure he would see that connection to Harry, and think he shouldn't complain because at least he doesn't have to put up with the Dursley's and there are heaps of people who love him. I'm glad you liked the part in the Shrieking Shack - Victoire slapped Teddy's friend because she was angry that he had just left Teddy, and she feels that Teddy shouldn't have to be alone. It is an overreaction, but I sort of wanted to show how much she feels for him... plus she has a bit of a temper. I think the Shrieking Shack would be somewhere that Teddy somehow feels closer to his parents, or where he feels like he can be alone with them. I hadn't thought about writing another one-shot about that scene, but now you've put the idea in my head, I might... In my mind, that was when Teddy realised it as well - as in, they had probably both had feelings but not really thought about them much and it came together in that scene. Thanks for the review, I'm glad you enjoyed it! ~Katrina

 
Reviewer: Gmariam Signed
Date: 04/18/11 Title: Chapter 1: Not Alone

I read your response and had to say - good point about Teddy seeing the similarities between him and Harry, and then trying not to complain because his upbringing was so much better. And yet, he has every right to feel pain and sadness!

I'm curious - did he learn about the Shrieking Shack from Harry? Do you think Harry told him everything about the Marauders, ie the Animagus bit. Just curious. :)

"I hadn't thought about writing another one-shot about that scene, but now you've put the idea in my head, I might... In my mind, that was when Teddy realised it as well - as in, they had probably both had feelings but not really thought about them much and it came together in that scene."

Ooooh, that sounds great, the idea that this is when Teddy realizes as well. You've set it up so nicely here, please do write it! I've read a few Teddy/Victoire things but a scene like that would just be so romantic and emotional. Heck, I could see a short chaptered fic! ;) I like how down-to-earth your Victoire seems, since I often read her as a copy of Fleur. And I really liked your vulnerable Teddy. I want him to be happy now. Good luck if you continue with them!!
~Gina :)

Author's Response: Thanks for reviewing again! I think Harry would have told Teddy as much as he knew about Remus and Tonks (and thus the Marauders, too) because in his own childhood he constantly wanted to know more about his parents (for example in HBP, when he hoped that the prince was his father). Another reason is that Harry wouldn't want Teddy to have misconceptions (like in OotP, when Harry saw what his father was like as a teenager, and that his mother seemed to hate him, it really bothered him, because he didn't know the full story), so I imagine that Harry would have told Teddy the good and the bad (although probably mostly the good) of his parents. Hmm... maybe I'll write another story from Teddy's point of view. I'm not that good at writing longer stories, though, so it'll probably just be a one-shot. The Fleur we see in canon is I think how she presents herself to protect herself, because underneath she's just as vulnerable as everyone else. Obviously Bill saw more to her than the surface, and I think we see a bit of that at the end of HBP and in DH as well, particularly when the trio are at Shell Cottage. I think Victoire would still be more down-to-earth than her mother, though, because she has been brought up in the Weasley clan, and while she may have a French name, she's still a Weasley. Plus she's the oldest Weasley, which can't have been easy, because when she got to Hogwarts everyone would have known her name and had certain expectations, plus I imagine it would be hard to be the oldest of the next generation... she probably feels like being a Weasley defines her, rather than letting it just be a part of her. Anyway... I have to go now, thanks for reviewing again!! ~Katrina

 

An April Goodbye by PoeticallyIrritating
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 9]

Summary: It’s April Fools’ Day. Lily Evans wants nothing more than to escape, but she's caught off guard by someone she'd prefer to forget.

This is PoeticallyIrritating of Ravenclaw writing for the 2011 Aprils Fools' Day Challenge in the Great Hall, Prompt 3(A).

Categories: Severus/Lily Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 2155 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/08/11 Updated: 04/11/11


Reviewer: Gmariam Signed
Date: 04/19/11 Title: Chapter 1: An April Goodbye

You've done a nice job with a difficult subject: Lily and Snape. I refer to it as difficult because it's just so hard to know how much she felt for him romantically based on canon, and because he's such a challenging character to like and imagine being with someone like Lily. I thought you did a good job with her character, particularly with the paragraph where Lily realizes nothing matters except what side you are on. I absolutely agree with this and just cannot see her staying with a man who chose the side that wants her dead. Good insight into her thoughts there. And as much as I hate to admit it, being a non-fan of Snape ;), she probably would have missed their friendship once it was over, given he was her first magical friend.
As for Snape,I have to be honest and admit I found him just a bit too weak and waffling here. He just mumbled too much, and while he might have done so as a teenager, he strikes me as such an articulate, introspective adult that I think his dialogue even as a student here could have been a bit more sharp. I could even see him being angry about what's happened to their friendship.
The hints of James/Lily were nice and added depth to something we know happens. The Marauder banter at the end was also well done.
This was a nice look at Lily in a pensive moment - good luck in the challenge! ~Gina :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm really glad that you liked my Lily. ;) I'll try to work on Snape, though I don't know if I'll ever be using him at this age again. What you're saying makes a lot of sense--I wish I had thought of these things before submitting...

 

Sibling Rivalry by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary:

This was the year. This was the year that Puddlemere United and Keeper Roxanne Weasley were going all the way.

One problem: her brother Fred might have something to say about that... while playing for the opposition.



Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 5185 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/09/11 Updated: 04/09/11


Reviewer: Gmariam Signed
Date: 05/04/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Ah twin, you write sports action so well! Ever think about trying out gobstones? Or perhaps the wizarding equivalent of curling? I jest. ;) The Quidditch really was well done. Okay, so I skimmed some of it, but that's because even with skimming I could still picture it all happening quite clearly. I only skimmed because I wanted to see what happened in the match! I was totally rooting for Roxanne. After getting to know her as a Quidditch player in Wild Card, it was a delight to read her again here. Great job with her. I was hoping for an Oliver appearance but that's okay. ;) I quite liked the interaction between Roxanne and Fred. The meeting at the shop, the goal, the save - all great. But the end, when Fred lets his guard down on the pitch, was brilliant. I absolutely loved that moment. And of course, the last line was a great Weasley twist as well!
Fun, fun story. Well done and congrats on the challenge! ~Gina :)

Author's Response:

I have no idea why I keep writing Quidditch, since those parts of the books always bored me. I love sports, but reading play by plays is just... *yawn*. That's a major part of why I tend to skirt around the actual gameplay, but I knew that there was no getting around it in this. I do think I exhausted every interesting thing I could ever write about Quidditch, though, lol.

Anywho, yay that you liked it and that the game itself wasn't boring, hehe. And as for gobstones... I will fully admit that I have no idea what it actually is. :D

Heart heart, thank you for the visit! Until we meet again. 

~Jess

 

The Space Between by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary:

Megan Jones had managed to successfully dodge all the normal pitfalls of adulthood: marriage, children, and the need to impress anyone. She didn't understand why everyone insisted that she was miserable, when she was, in fact, enjoying her current lifestyle.

Who would've thought one night could change everything?



Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Substance Abuse

Word count: 2130 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/10/11 Updated: 04/10/11


Reviewer: Gmariam Signed
Date: 04/11/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Damn. I love it. I just love Megan. Merlin, her snarkiness! The dialogue! I am envious. There are too many lines to quote as my favorite, but I did really love these:
"Keep dreaming about my drawers, wonder boy, and maybe one of these days, you’ll get to see a pair that aren’t your mum’s." LOL
And:
"f he didn’t have rug burn on his naughty bits the next day, she would be surprised. " ROFL!
I mean, her personality just jumps through the screen. I loved her for her ballsy-ness at the beginning, and yet by the end it was nice to see a bit of a crack in the exterior.
YOU SHOULD WRITE A SEQUEL!
I mean, I WANT her to run off the Romania and be with Charlie! She must! They are obviously meant for each other. They can keep their edge but be a bit more happy and have great s...mut.
Delicious fic, twin. It had me grinning the entire time.
And Happy Birthday, Lea!!
~Gina :)

Author's Response:

Hehe, this was such a random pairing, but they're the most fun. And they have the best smutty scenes. :)

I wanted her to be a bit crass but relatable all at once, because she thinks all the things we as women think but never say. She doesn't have that v-chip in her head, lol.

 
Reviewer: Gmariam Signed
Date: 04/11/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

PS. Some people might wonder about Charlie here. I did a bit. I mean, who knows if he's really quite that fast and loose and drunk. It doesn't seem very Weasley, but then, what do we really know about him? We do know he's a bit of a wild card in the family, being a dragon tamer and all. So it totally worked for me, because I can stretch my mind that far. *snorts at sarcastic irony* If you write more, you can flesh him out so we get more of his one-night-stand personality and background. Plus that big hint you dropped with him not wanting to go home. Sure, he might not want to shag at the Burrow, but I sense more to it. Heh heh.
And that is all. Charlie is a smut god. I hope he visits my bunny garden someday (that is not as dirty as it sounds...)
~Twin :-D

Author's Response:

Since this was in Megan's POV and she wasn't necessarily conversing with him all that much, the reason why Charlie was in town was that one of his brothers was having a baby (haven't decided which). By the time he comes in the picture, he's been freed of his obligations and was feeling that twinge of annoyance that his family were all ridiculously happy. He loves his career and his dragons, but sometimes, it doesn't feel like everything. So, he decided to get wasted and sleep with a girl he would never see again. And then something about Megan made him think twice about his bang and bounce policy.

Hehe, backstory ftw.

~Jess

 

Forces of Nature by Equinox Chick
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 17]

Summary: In the midst of battle, and after that kiss, Ron knew he loved Hermione. He'd never said the words, but she knew.

Didn't she?

This story was inspired by a song called Forces of Nature by the Backstreet Boys. This pairing and that group are the favourites of Amanda (ahattab) who is celebrating her birthday today.

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling and have never even seen a backstreet boy.

Thank you, Natalie, (hestiajones) for the quick beta job.

Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 1424 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/11/11 Updated: 04/11/11


Reviewer: Gmariam Signed
Date: 04/11/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Well, I love it! You have such a solid grasp of every character you write, it's amazing. Ron was wonderful here. Why oh why do people give him such a hard time?? I really thought the contrast between him thinking about love and life in a time of death was well done. He felt guilty, but at the same time, it was only normal, and a good, good thing for them to have each other in such a time. You built off events in Deathly Hallows so well the story felt like very natural. Lovely read.
That's rambly just to say it's so well done. What a great fic for Amanda! Happy Birthday!
~Gina :)

Author's Response: Thank you, Gina. I like Ron and can't give him a hard time (not even in Shrouds - ha ha) ~Carole~

 

How to Wait by WeasleyMom
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 35]

Summary: Though the trials of war are behind them, life will always include difficulties that must be faced.

I am thrilled beyond reason to announce that this fic won the 2011 Quicksilver Quill in the category Best Canon Romance, one-shot. Thank you so much! :)

Categories: Ron/Hermione Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 1409 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/11/11 Updated: 04/11/11


Reviewer: Gmariam Signed
Date: 04/11/11 Title: Chapter 1: one-shot

Aww, this is so bittersweet! And so well done. Lori, you really know these characters. I love how well you balance them as adults. Ron is still Ron but more mature. I particularly love that he still has his sense of humour with lines like, "I can see I didn’t need to, since you’ve taken an afternoon off for the first time in five years and you’re lying in bed in the fetal position." That was just a lovely line, so perfect for their relationship.
Contrasting their waiting with Harry and Ginny's second pregnancy really makes it more poignant. Hermione's pain was so heartbreaking when she finally voiced the unfairness of the situation. I'm glad I know that they do end up with a lovely daughter soon!
Well done, Lori! And Happy Birthday, Amanda!
~Gina :)

Author's Response: Gina! Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, you sweet thing. ;) Okay, unless my math has gone sour (wouldn't be the first time), this is Harry and Ginny's first pregnancy--James. As I mentioned during our chat, I imagine R/Hr getting married rather quickly, perhaps a year and a half after the battle, so 1999, right? James is born in 2005 and Rose in 2006, so Ginny would have got pregnant in 2004 that would be 5 years after R/Hr got married (in Lori Canon--lol). Does that sound right? I know you imagine H/G getting married first, so maybe that is why you imagined this was her preg w/Albus. Anyway, it doesn't really matter... except I think it quite painful for Hermione and Ron to watch the excitement of their best friends' first pregnancy when they have been wanting it for much longer.

I'm glad you liked Ron's humor. This didn't lend itself to much of that, but I think Ron would try to make her laugh, and I can see him saying that. I love these two so much--sigh. :) Thanks again for the sweet words. I appreciate it! :)

 

A Family Matter by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 20]

Summary:

Bachelor life suited Zach Smith just fine, and the lack of expectations on his time and attention suited him even more.

But his life changed in an instant with a knock on the door and an unexpected delivery.



This story has been nominated for a 2014 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Post-Hogwarts Story.


Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 12719 Chapters: 6 Completed: No
Published:
04/12/11 Updated: 06/19/14


Reviewer: Gmariam Signed
Date: 04/13/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Ah Jess. So much potential! I can't wait to see how Zach fares with his sudden son. And that's because I CAN imagine how incredibly hard it would be to suddenly have a three-year-old and no idea what to do with him. They are a handful, lol! Today I said 'shoot!' when I forgot something and Sarah said 'Why did you say 'shoot'?' I'm sure I will hear it in the next day or so, which is my way of saying the bit about parroting the 'piss off' was dead on hilarious. And the way Cameron took the spider comment literally is also very true, as was Zach's reaction.

So where did you get the idea for this and why Zach? Why did he turn out to be such an arse? How far do you plan to take this?

My only advice would be to be sure you don't make Cameron sound too old. A three-year-old probably wouldn't be too nonchalant about his mum disappearing. Mine clings to me like a barnacle so he'd probably miss his mum and ask questions. Like, endless questions. And don't forget the tantrums. Merlin, the tantrums. ;)

Cute story, please do continue so I can laugh at Zach a bit more!
~Gina :)

Author's Response:

I read your review on my phone when I first got it, so fail for taking so long to respond, hehe.

I have no idea how far I intend to take this in terms of length, save for under 20K. In the story, I think a full circle ending woudl be good. 

I'm glad you liked Cameron, and I loled at the 'piss off' part. And the nonchalance, i don't know if he yet understood that his mum wasn't coming back this time. Later, I will have Zach meeting with Mitzy and getting a bit more story on the kid, but sufficeit to say that Cameron wasn't unaccustomed to her not being around much.

I don't know if I could write a tantrum, tbh. It would either be mild or too melodramatic. Eep! 

Thank you for your thorough review, as well as for reading my wobbly and disjointed reply. :D

~Jess

 

From Green to Brown by MerrryD
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary:


Winter to spring, spring to summer, summer to fall, fall to winter.

Seasons change.

Best friends to barely talking, full of life to constant fear of death, "good" to "bad".

So do people.

This is MerryD of Hufflepuff writing for the 2011 Aprils Fools' Day Challenge in the Great Hall, Prompt #3--Marauder Era.


Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 4772 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/14/11 Updated: 04/14/11


Reviewer: Gmariam Signed
Date: 04/15/11 Title: Chapter 1: From Green to Brown

I think you've done a very good job exploring Peter's character here. You've really hit on the isolation and resentment he must have felt in order to betray his friends so completely. And not only his isolation, but his desperate need to survive it. Everyone wonders what pushed him to turn, and fear for his life is certainly a valid reason. It makes you wonder why he was a Gryffindor, though, doesn't it?

I thought the first part was fantastic. Writing the Potters' death that way was extremely effective and sad. I actually wanted to read more of that! It set the tone for a sad, dark story in which Peter started growing apart from his friends more and more because things just began to change too much for them all.

The second part exploring Lily's effect on the Marauder's dynamic was also well done. I have no idea how Peter might have got along with her, but the idea of him resenting her is certainly a very valid one. I'm sure it happens to close friends frequently.

The third section seemed a bit rushed. I see how you were trying to establish that Peter didn't want to join the Order, but his friends did, yet the way Dumbledore entered, asked them to join the Order with no discussion, and then left seemed far too quick. I know each section was meant to be short, a glimpse into Peter at that moment, but it was just too short to seem realistic. I think there was far more to them joining the Order than a simple yes.

I liked the wedding, because this certainly would have been a major event for everyone. And the next scene was interesting. It established Peter as feeling something besides isolation and resentment – power and control. I definitely see this as part of the reason that he turned. It gave him power, control, a sense of belonging and need. Yes, fear was a big motivation too, but I do think he was selfish and craved these other things as well.

The scene where Marlene died was good. It established that people were dying in this war. I only would have liked to see a bit more of how it affected Peter and his double-crossing, not just the others. It would set up the next part nicely.

And then Peter is captured. Fascinating! You've set it up that he doesn't want to die, so him doing anything to save his life makes sense. You've also set it up that he resents his friends more and more and feels distant from them, so again, it seems plausible that he would do this. I definitely think he was forced into it – he didn't go seek out the other side, but for whatever reason had to turn. Saving his own skin could certainly have been that reason. Again – it makes you wonder why he was in Gryffindor. I suppose it might have been interesting to add some internal thoughts on his part about that. Next time, right? ;)

The part where Lily announces her pregnancy was good. This line: "They were bringing new life into a world he was certain each day would bring his death." was especially well done. So true! Plus he's already betraying them so his guilt probably compounds now. I wrote a similar reaction once.

I liked that you had Peter as a spy first and only meeting Voldemort directly later on. I wonder about revealing his nickname. Obviously Voldemort knows it in GoF, I just wonder if he found out before or after he lost his body.

I'm not sure about the scene with Sirius. I'm just not sure Sirius would have been so vocal about his doubts over Remus. Or maybe, I just needed to hear more of his reasons. He didn't give Peter many other than Remus being distant, and that could be for any other number of reasons. And of course, it begs the question – and not just of you, but of JKR – how did they not notice Peter at this time?? In your story he is pulling away and distancing himself, which seems very likely to me. Yet Sirius wonders about Remus? Peter must be more clever than we all thought to be able to pull it off. It's one of the things that makes me want JKR to write us a prequel, but then what would us fanfic writers have to write about? ;)

The baby scene was good because it really put more distance between Peter and the Potters. I wonder about the Prewett scene, though. I like that Peter has set someone up and is pushing aside his guilt. It's just that the timeline might be off, because I've always thought that the Prewetts were killed closer to October 31, 1981 due to that photo Moody shows Harry and various comments made about it. It's complicated, though, so it's just a detail only canon freaks pick up on. ;)

And that leaves the end:
"He was pulling away from them. He’d left signs of who he was, what he’d done. He was drifting away, on purpose, but he’d left a rope, dragging in the water as he was carried away from the dock by the tide.

No one had tried to grab it."

Brilliant last lines! Just a wonderful way to conclude it. It really brings home Peter's isolation, guilt, and the inevitable cold fact of his betrayal. We all know it happened, but now we know a bit about how it could have happened and why, and how he felt about it.

I was impressed with how you wove in the required words, especially blue. I also liked how you explored Peter throughout the seasons, I thought that was a good unifying touch. He was well done, and I think you've written a strong story about a character people don't really understand or enjoy. Good luck in the challenge!!

~Gina :)

Author's Response: I think my jaw may have actually dropped while I was reading this. I just. Thank you so much. I'm not particularly happy with this story--I know a lot of it is rushed or kind of lacks explanation. I didn't edit it very much...or at all, really (>.>) because I just so relieved that it was done and devoid of all energy and brainpower (and I didn't realise the deadline for the challenge had been moved back...). I almost didn't submit it, but I'm too proud of that last bit that you pointed out. :P So I'm especially grateful for this review because you pointed out it's weaker moments but also made me realise that it isn't complete shit. I guess I always thought that Peter wasn't suspected because Sirius (or anyone else) wouldn't think him capable of being a double agent or deceiving them. Does that make sense? I felt that Sirius was telling Peter mostly because he wanted someone to agree with him or to produce cold, hard facts that said Remus wasn't the spy. I probably should have spent more time on that section. *sigh* I feel like I could take each section of this story and make a one-shot of it. Anyway, thank you, thank you, thank you for this wonderful review. You've more than made my day with it. <3Mere

 

Anchored by hestiajones
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: Past Featured StoryThis day, he is worried, scared and numb. His loved ones cannot do anything about it, but someone comes along by chance and brings him back.

This is hestiajones of Hufflepuff writing for the Great Hall April Fools Challenge, Lonely List: Next Generation. It actually won! :D Nathan even swept the floor with the Extra Credit Award. Thank you, Lea, for beta-reading this at such short notice.

Nominated for a QSQ in the Same Sex Pairing category.

Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Slash, Strong Profanity

Word count: 3719 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/14/11 Updated: 04/16/11


Reviewer: Gmariam Signed
Date: 04/18/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Natalie, that was very intense. I really didn't think Scorpius was going to make it for a while, because you really sustained the tension until the very end.

Very interesting premise with the bomb, do you plan to write more? I was very sad to see that Andrew died and I imagine there is a very poignant story there.

I thought you did a great job working this Hugo into your other Next-Gen characterizations. The older generation was well done as well, especially Draco. I really liked his development over the course of the crisis. The line about Scorpius falling in love with a Weasley, particularly a male Weasley was a great line.

I think my favorite part, though, was the woman who turned her husband into a broomstick. First, that was hilarious - best way to incorporate the EC prompt!! And yet as ridiculous as it was, she was also the most grounded, the one who offered Hugo the best support. I liked that he wanted to get in touch with her afterwards. The reveal of their names was a nice tie to canon.

The final paragraph was brilliant writing. It was such a deep, profound thought, but that often happens when something really hits close to home, doesn't it? I hope things work out for Hugo and Scorpius. I'm sort of digging them as a couple after both reading them and writing them a few times now.

Lovely story - good luck in the challenge!
~Gina :)

Author's Response: I...thought I had responded. *headdesk*

Four reviews, and three people said that they thought Scorpius going to die. Mission accomplished! ;) Of course, I would never commit such a crime, but I did want to keep the suspense intact.

Oh I am so relieved you didn't think the broomstick sounded contrived. Phew! I was worried if that came across as a WTH moment. All in all, I am pretty excited to hear good things about this story because it was written on an impulse. Thanks for the wishes, and same to you!

~Natalie

 

Summary:

Hufflepuff Albus Potter was a firm believer that it was a fact of nature and a rite of passage to torment one's sibling. And who better than his nerdy, Ravenclaw little sister? Her messy hair and stupid pile of books... she so had it coming.

But Lily had other ideas.



Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 3884 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/18/11 Updated: 04/18/11


Reviewer: Gmariam Signed
Date: 04/19/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Great story, you guys! I loved it. I immediately wanted Albus to get it, because he was such an arrogant git at the beginning. I loved that Lily was smart enough to suspect him - and beat him at his own game. The prank was very well planned and the details were fantastic. I especially liked the nod of sentiment toward Granddad Weasley's book. That was a really nice touch. Wonderful job, you two - good luck in the challenge! ~Gina :)

Author's Response:

Thank you. :)

Albus was meant to be the jerky but relatable big brother. We've all known people who find humor in not so nice actions, but at his age, it's almost expected. It was, though, a giant 'hell yeah!' for Lily. Nothing asserts a younger sibling's equality more than a proverbial foot up the ass. :D

Thanks for reading and reviewing, as well as waiting so long for a reply. Kudos for your win in the co-op. We like to think we were worthy competitors. 

~Jess and Olivia

 

Their Last Chance by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: After the battle, Hermione had settled into the role of working herself to the bone in order to forget what she'd seen and experienced. But when Viktor Krum showed up, wanting to know how she was after nearly a year of no correspondence, Hermione was forced to contemplate some of her choices and what -- or who -- she really wanted.

Categories: Hermione/Other Character Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 4891 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/18/11 Updated: 04/18/11


Reviewer: Gmariam Signed
Date: 04/18/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I quite like this, twin! I mean, I can TOTALLY see Hermione and Krum having a life together, more than Hermione and any other character she's ever paired with, even Harry (sorry, lol.) I think you've nailed Viktor's character here, and really brought out some of JKR's genius with him and even improved and extended it. I just love how honorable and respectful he is. Guh, how could Hermione resist after that kiss? After he offers to leave his life his be with her? And yet, you've shown us exactly why she chooses Ron. The end was adorable. :)
The accents were great, especially Hagrid. That really jumped out at me because that can be hard to pull off. Nice work with that.
Love this one. Great pairing and great job! ~Gina :)

Author's Response:

Lol, I headdesked for days over hoping Viktor's accent was realistic. Every single line in there of his, I said aloud to make sure it made sense. In terms of personality, I wanted him to be dedicated to Hermione, but not in that creepy, stalkery way. He gave her space and time in the hopes that it would make her realise that she loved him, too. I think he spent so much time hoping for it that he never stopped to think that, in the years they'd been apart, that she might've moved on to someone else or simply outgrew her feelings from when they were together before. And yeah... I felt bad for doing that to him. :(

And I knew that, at some point, I'd have to give up my non-canon wish for Viktor and Hermione to have a bunch of Quidditch playing genius kids and have her settle for a less spectacular Ron. In reality, at this point, he was more what she needed, though had Viktor asked me to move across teh world, I would have hopped on the back of his broomstick in an instant.

Glad you liked it. I still will write a Krumione that isn't unrequited, but for the moment, this will have to do. It did take some time for me to decide how I wanted it to end; after all was said and done, though, it was the right thing to do.

Lovely review, Twin. :D

~Jess 

 
Reviewer: Gmariam Signed
Date: 04/18/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

PS. I have to agree with Katrina that I felt bad for Viktor when Hermione said no. Poor, poor guy. I wish he could have a happy ending. Write one, sometime??
~Twin :)

Author's Response: Hehe, definitely. :D

 

Burning Question by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: Petunia had asked Vernon over to breakfast with her parents for one reason -- angling for that coveted marriage proposal. But was the one she wanted the one she got?

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1319 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/18/11 Updated: 04/18/11


Reviewer: Gmariam Signed
Date: 04/18/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Vernon is gross. Petunia is annoying. Great characterization of them, pathetic as they are. We know that's probably the truth, though. I'm sad the Evans are so supportive of them, but I suppose that's their job. Where is Lily during this? School? I can just imagine her pulling faces in the background, lol.
The end was hysterical. Decorate his house - Buhahahaha. What a pig. Almost makes me feel bad for Petunia, only she's getting what she wants so good for her if she wants him. Ick. How do you imagine the real proposal went? Equally as poorly?
Oh, I think you left out a word - "and I don't want her ruddy complaining about my draperies!" At least, I assume that's what you meant. :)
Congrats on the fastest fic ever, and good luck in the challenge! Go Ravenclaw!
~Gina :)

Author's Response:

Haha, I told you this story was dumb. xD

Honestly, though, I think Mum and Dad were so supportive of her quest to snag Vernon because she hadn't had anyone else who was interested thus far. Plus, they want her to be happy, and if a great slob like him makes her happy, then so be it. :/

Honestly, I was considering ending it with her parents being hit by a car, but I remembered that I hadn't had a fluffy fic in a while. Hence decorating. And the idea of Vernon proposing and Petunia acting like it was the best day ever just horrifies me, hehe.

Thank you for reading, Twin O Mine!

~Jess

 
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