Penname: Phoebe Gruzelier [Contact]
Real name: Emily Nabney
Member Since: 04/20/06
Website:
Beta-reader: 0
Status: Member
Bio:
Hell-o person who has (probably) accidentally stumbled on this page while trying to hack into JKRís computer. For any people interested, I am the writer of Roses and Thorns. And I love Strictly Come Dancing. Didnít know that? Have I got news for youÖ

I live in Birmingham, England in a crazy three-storey house near Cannon Hill Park. My mum comes from New Zealand and is good at making chocolate milkshakes. Oh, and did I mention she teaches Latin and Greek at my school?!?! Dad teaches Computer Science at Uni, and thinks all modern musicians shout be shot, on-site. I also have a sister who helps edit bits of my story and help with knotty bits of plots.

As well as my nutty but cool family, we have cats. Jasper (or Paspy) is a cute, squishy, silver tabby with only one brain cell. I bet it can get rather lonely in that head of his. But we love him anyway! Our other one is called the Ginger Marauder. He didnít like the baby in his house, so moved out and Ďadoptedí us. Mean, moody, evil and will savage Paspy at every opportunity, we do not like him, and remind him of this frequently. The only reason we let him stay is that heís learnt how to pick the cat-flap so we canít lock him out.

Thatís my mad home-life. What about school?

My group (the Society for Odds and Sods, or SOS) gives all our cliques names. We consist of Emily (me), Jo (the Loner) and Lucy (the Pleasant One). Our job is to be strange and worry people. Iím the Fountain of Knowledge for all Classic Books (well, not really) Jo knows everything about Wolves and Lucy is permanently residing in another world.

But anyway, I love English and Art the best, and I canít STAND Maths and PE. I like acting in the School Play, hanging around the Library and trying to convert people to Jane Eyre.

Thatís enough about school. When I get home, one of my favourite things to do is read. My favourite books depend on what I have just been reading, but at the moment itís Jane Eyre, Shirley, Ivy and North Child. I really recommend these books and I encourage you to get them out of the library!

I write a lot, too. I have a Hamtaro notebook which used to be a diary which Iíve written all of Roses and Thorns in. And I draw little pictures to help me with describing people/places. They arenít worth anyone else seeing, because theyíre just doodles. I write very slowly, because I have to remember while Iím doing it to put enough description in, keep sentences short and not repeat words too much.

I also like watching TV. As you already know, I devoutly follow Strictly Come Dancing. Most of the other programmes I like are Period Drama (I canít stand Game Shows, Soaps or Reality TV, apart from SCD, of course,) My favourites are Jane Eyre (Ruth Wilson and Toby Stevens) Northanger Abbey (Felicity Jones and JJ Field) Pride and Prejudice (Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth) and North and South (Daniela Derby-Ashe and Richard Armitige).

The things I hate most in the world are Maths homework (may it burn in hell), Billie Piper (why is she an actress, seeing as she canít act), Kiera Knightly (ditto) and High School Musical (nnnnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooo)Ö

When it comes to Harry Potter, my favourite characters are Hermione, Luna, Cho and (recently) Barty Crouch Jr. (If you donít understand why, read R+T.) I donít like James (heís too horizontal) Sirius (the idiot) and Draco (the wimp). I also have a vendetta against Ginny Weasley. Everyone has one, and I donít like her 2-D, packaged Ďstrong and independentí character which is so boring and predictable.

As regards Ships, Iíll read most of them (even if I donít support them) except for the four smellies: Draco/Hermy (how dare anyone suggest it) Snape/Hermy (heís way too old for her) Ginny/Hermy (theyíre friendsÖjust friends) and Harry/Ginny (NO. WAY.)

But Iím a sucker for Ron/Hermy (isnít it obvious?) Harry/Cho (they rocked, and I donít care if everyone else hated them) Snape/Lily (James gave her a love potion. No one in their right minds would prefer him to Snape) and most of the ones in R+T.

My favourite books are OoP and PoA, and my least fave are HBP and DH (just too depressing). The films annoy me in the way that they miss so much out and Hermy wears a pink Yule Ball dress. But sometimes they do characters better than how I imagined: Barty Crouch Jr, Bella, Lockhart and Filch, for example.

Iím a Ravenclaw through and through, but Gryffindor, Hufflepuff and Slytherin are OK, and I donít hate them. Go inter-house unity!

My equivalent in the HP worldÖ


Which HP Kid Are You?


(Apparantly) I am (out of the lesser HP characters)Ö

[i'm firenze!]

...and which lesser Harry Potter character are you?



I supportÖ

[ron + hermione]



[harry + cho]



[lily + snape]



DAVID TENNANT!!!!!!! rocks my world! He is the only person who could make me watch Doctor Who, Recovery, Learners, or any other stupid dramas heís in.
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Reviews by Phoebe Gruzelier
 

I Loved Him First by Valentinia
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 181]

Summary: For Petunia Evans being at Hogwarts is indeed a magical time. Why? Because there, for the first time in her life, she doesn't stand in the shadow of her beautiful sister Lily. That is until she finds herself falling in love with none other than James Potter, Lily's biggest admirer. And this is only the first of the many trials and tribulations Petunia will have to face in a world where peace is a nothing but a memory.

Note: This fic is mostly canon compliant through DH, but has some obvious AU elements, too, though I hope I've explained them all satisfactorily!

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Character Death, Suicide

Word count: 36485 Chapters: 27 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/12/05 Updated: 04/27/06


Reviewer: Phoebe Gruzelier Signed
Date: 09/20/07 Title: Chapter 11: Peter's Secret

Yo!

I am here and absolutely loving your story!

James straing at Lily...nooooooo!!!! Even though I do not like James at all, I could hardly wish to condemn him to a life with Lily. She must DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Sorry for the above, I do tend to get a little over-excited with stories I love!)

Oh, what a fatal error Petunia commits by trusting him. And how blind she is to the bleeding obvious. (But we are all blind in such matters).

Why am I talking so weird? Sorry, I'm having a bit of an 'off' day....

VERY dramatic ending to the chapter...well written and a brill cliff hanger!

Just a few things:

'A girl known to the school as Bella, or the Belle of Hogwarts. The girl was more than a match even for Lily; all boys who had ever seen her wanted her. '-----this sounds a bit OTT. Yes, Bella may have been drop-dead gorgeous, but having every single boy in the school wanting her is a bit much. And I think you should have made a direct comparison between a feature of Bella's and Sirius'...say her eyes. (I.e. She had [what ever colour] eyes, which seemed to Petunia almost exactly the same shape and colour as Sirius'.) But obviously you can write it better!

'Everyone else was far to busy acting like proper Muggles. '---- 'to' needs an extra 'o'.

Apart from that the story is flying!

Author's Response: :D We all have days like that from time to time, I think. Hehe... Anyway, thanks for the review and for your suggestions! I\'ll go fix those things up right now!

 
Reviewer: Phoebe Gruzelier Signed
Date: 09/23/07 Title: Chapter 13: At Luisa's House

Oh no!

Luisa can't die!!! She just can't! [sobs into sleeve]

And so, anyway, where were we?

I can't really think of much to say, as this chapter was quite a short one, but it was interesting seeing Luisa's house! I wonder where she gets her oddness from, because her mum doesn't seem to be too abnormal!

It was good, as always. And it's nice to have a bit of a diversion from the whole Lily/James/Petunia love triangle...we'll have to see how that turns out!

Only one thing I could spot:

'On the bed sat many stuffed toys, all of them magical creatures. '----- this sentance sounds a bit awkward.

You'll have to excuse the fact this review is so short...the chapter was brilliant anyway!

Author's Response: I appreciate every review, and yours are definitely not too short! :) Thanks for reviewing and liking the fic! I\'ll go check on that sentence again! I hope you like the rest of the fic... :D

 
Reviewer: Phoebe Gruzelier Signed
Date: 09/30/07 Title: Chapter 17: A Story of Betrayal

WOW!!! Interesting plot twist, the whole spies and Muggles. I hope Petunia's dad was under the Imperius Curse/Veritiserum. He would be an easy target (or maybe that's just me believing the best in everyone!)

It was amazing! Petunia's emotion was really believable, and Dumbledore was IC telling her the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.

But there were a few things that needed to be cleaned up:

'This may shock you; it did shock your sister. ' -----'shock' is used twice. You could change one of them to 'upset'.

'As soon as the hex was lifted, by Tom's mother, who was deeply in love with his father, Tom Riddle Sr., Tom's father, deserted his wife and unborn son.' This sentance confused me when I read it. I'd re-frase it and maybe split it into two.

'Perhaps due to a lack of social life'------Oh come on! Dumbledore really wouldn't say that!!!!! He might possibly say something to that effect, but not with 'social life' and not quite so ... harshly.

'And I had to have spies, as I'm sure he does. '-----this is Dumbledore, so you have to say 'I am'.

'I do not think that Tom ever had true friends, but Heather, a fellow parent-less Slytherin was someone he confided in, perhaps as a parter in crime. '----- 'parter' should be 'partner'.

'When the woman married a muggle man, ' ----- 'muggle' needs to have a capital 'M'.

'we had decided that her family would never know of her dreadful responsiblity as a spy' ---- I think it's 'responsibility'.

But a very ironic chapter, the way Petunia said a couple of chapters ago her parents weren't involved in politics, and they didn't have dangerous jobs!

Fantastic!

Author's Response: :D Thanks for the review! I really have a problem with repeating words, I think... Thanks for the concrit! I\'ll go fix those things up right now! Again, thanks for the review! I\'m glad you\'re enjoying the story!

 
Reviewer: Phoebe Gruzelier Signed
Date: 10/13/07 Title: Chapter 20: Hidded Pain

As usual, your story is amazing!!!!!!
I stopped to think about why I liked it so much, and I think it's because you have chapters like these were not too much happens, and it's really phycolodgical the way Petunia deals with her grief. Very convincing!

Petunia is a breath of fresh air. She's very realistic, and very direct. She knows what she wants, but she isn't really sassy. It's a joy to watch her grown up! And it's nice to see a heroine who isn't pretty.

But, of course, what would be my reviews without (constuctive) criticism?....

'and I want, no, need, to avenge them' ---- this sentance is a bit confusing, especially with the commas all over the place. I'd put 'and I want Ė no, need Ė to avenge them'.

'and to just be my friend again. 'Cause I know you miss me, too," ' ----- it should be ' .íCause I know you'

'"And anyway," Lily added, "they'll get suspicious. ' ----- I think it would sound better without the 'anyway'.

'And she liked the feeling pf control. ' ----- 'of control'?!?!

'Because we care about both of you.' ----- I think you need to put the 'both' in italics.

'One chip falling from the ice berg '------ 'Iceberg' is one word.

Apart from that, well done! I'm looking forward to see what Voldie's going to think about an assasination attempt by a handful of teenagers!

Author's Response: Thanks! I\'m glad you liked it! I\'ll go make the changes you suggested!

 
Reviewer: Phoebe Gruzelier Signed
Date: 09/24/07 Title: Chapter 14: Bad Outlook

Hello!

The sadness and raw emotion of this chapter really moved me! Petunia acted really realistically. She almost seemed dead she was so unhappy, and the sudden surges of anger mixed with lethargy made her seem hormonal, stressed, miserable, and, dare I say it, likeable!

Her stubboness and refusal to leave her friend does her credit. This chapter seemed extremely mature and very well-written, so hats off to you! [Removes pointed hat and florishes at you].

BUT....

'Petunia ignored the plump, blonde healer standing in the doorway. ' ----- I think the two adjectives are a bit much. One would be much better (either blonde or plump)

' No! No!" under any other circumstances Petunia would have been shouting as loud as she could, ' ----- You missed the first " in the 'NO'ing bit.

'"Yes, it's me, Evans, don't gawk so,'-----I'd get rid of the 'so'.

'That's all, Evans. See you next term'----- the 'See you next term' sounds a bit informal. Ron's more likely to say that to Hermione that McGonagall to Petunia.

But apart from that it was B-R-I-L-L-I-A-N-T!

Author's Response: *Blushes* Thanks so much! I love getting reviews from you! *Squees happily*. I\'ll go fix those mistakes up right now! Thanks for pointing them out!

 
Reviewer: Phoebe Gruzelier Signed
Date: 09/29/07 Title: Chapter 16: Really Dead

This chapter was amazing! Everyone was very in character, which made this chapter even better. I loved the girls' two different reactions to their parents' deaths - Lily sobbing and Petunia thinking through it logically. And you could see at the end of the day, it was Petunia who cared more about her parents - the animalistic screams tugged at my heart!

James was also well-done. I'm not a big fan of him, but it was nice to see he could occasionally do something useful!

But...

'Lily stared at her, a mixture of disgust and hope on her face. '-----I didn't really understand why Lily was disgusted/hopeful with Petunia. Care to clarify?

'Professor McGonagall lead the two girls and James over to what appeared to be a portkey in the shape of an odd silver instrument. Everyone save McGonagall touched it, and they were off. '----- 'lead' should be 'led' and I'm pretty sure 'portkey' should be spelled 'Portkey'.

'When they reappeared, they were standing in front of the Evans' residence. Or what used to be the Evans' residence. '-------Evans' residence is used twice.

'Petunia, Lily and James followed apprehesvely. '------ My word processor informs me it should be 'apprehensively'.

To end on a pleasant note, her mothers' body holding a picture of Lily was a brilliantly subtle sum-up of the whole story.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I\'m glad you liked this chapter - I was afraid I overdid Lily... hehe. Anyway, also, thanks so much for the comments! I\'m off to fix up those bits!

 
Reviewer: Phoebe Gruzelier Signed
Date: 11/03/07 Title: Chapter 19: Hatching Plans

I'm intreged! A little worried about petunia, though. Isn't she going to end up dead. But she's crazy with grief so I suppose she doesn't think of these things. I like the way the other Marauders are there for her and prepared to help her - Lupin's little speech was touching!

I think Petunia and Myrtle being friends makes sense - Social Outcasts United?

Great chapter. 1 mistake:

'And she liked the feeling pf control.'----- 'of control'!

Author's Response: Thanks! Wow... I made the same mistake last chapter too, didn\'t I... In any case, thanks for pointing it out and thanks for the review!

 
Reviewer: Phoebe Gruzelier Signed
Date: 09/19/07 Title: Chapter 10: Peter Pettigrew

Lovely to see you again!

Your next chapter is (of corse) absolutely fantastic!

I love Peter's fanatical angst. It's good he's arround a bit because he tends to dissapear because Lupin, Sirius and James are such interesting, dominant characters.

Just a couple of things:

'After breakfast, the four boys ran upstairs to grab their brooms, as they had decided over breakfast to go out flying for a while. Petunia hadnít been on a broom in ages. ' -----You use 'broom' twice, and it doesn't sound quite right.

'Arriving at the pitch, Sirius, Remus and James swung themselves onto their brooms immediately, while Petunia headed over to the broom shed with Peter, who also did not own a broom. Remus, apparently, was too tired and was sitting out. '----- Again, the 'brooms'.

'By this time they had reached the broom shed and were getting their brooms out. '-----Grrr.. enough with the brooms!

'as teenagers are apt to do.'----'as' needs a capital letter!

I absolutely love the last line. It sounds so...sinister, as though something's creeping up on them...I'll just have to wait and find out!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Woah... I have a real problem with brooms, you\'re right. I\'ll try to find a better way to word those bits... thanks! Glad you\'re enjoying it so far...

 
Reviewer: Phoebe Gruzelier Signed
Date: 12/01/07 Title: Chapter 27: The Final Irony (Epilogue)

I was going to read the next few chapters, but then got completely hooked and read the entire thing! It was just absolutely fabulous. The ending was very touching, believeable and realistic.

When I started the first chapter, I had no idea it was going to go this way. I was expecting it to be a teen romance, with Petunia and James skipping off hand in hand into the future together, but no. You gave something gritty and deeply enthralling!

I appologise my reviews haven't been as good or as regular as I would've liked.

Well done you! [Leads standing ovation]

Author's Response: *bows* Thanks so much! I don\'t know why you say your reviews weren\'t good - I enjoyed every single one! And I\'m very happy you liked this fic! I believe my head is inflating fast... :)

 
Reviewer: Phoebe Gruzelier Signed
Date: 09/09/07 Title: Chapter 5: Outbursts By The Seashore

I love the way Lily's friends all forget that she's there! You made me feel really sorry for her. She seemed like such an outsider! I especially love the bit when they want to do side-along Apparation and then realise Petunia's coming too! Awww...she needs a hug! (From James).

Corrections:(I have to be cruel to be kind!)

'shrunk all the baggage, tied it to their brooms, and performed Disillusionment Charms on everyone, as well as the broomsticks and shrunken baggage. '----- you use baggage twice. I'd change it to luggage or bags.

'It couldn't be because her friends were insulting her sister, that much Petunia was sure of. '------- This is just my opinion, but I think you should have a full-stop instead of a comma.

But, it was brilliant! I love this story very, very much!

Author's Response: :D Thanks! I\'m so glad you\'re enjoying the fic! And thanks so much for all the corrections. I really appreciate your input!

 
Reviewer: Phoebe Gruzelier Signed
Date: 09/09/07 Title: Chapter 6: First Kiss

Petunia finally got her heart's desire! I love it - finally 'Tunia's got something Lily hasn't! (I don't really like Lily).

I thought maybe James was a bit OOC getting over Lily so suddenly. Maybe you could have a scene/flashback which made him change his mind, and didn't show Lily in a very good light.

What else? Oh yes, when Sirius burst back in. I thought that was VERY well done!

The only bit i didn't like was '"Yeah... you know, I... ah... I... saw... um some Slytherins... yeah, some Slytherins... they were... um... I mean... they looked... suspicious," Sirius added, "Remember, Wormtail?Ē' because although Sirius might hesitate a bit, he is the king of cool, so he wouldn't be that bad.

Other than that, I loved it!

Author's Response: :) Thanks! I think my head is slowly becoming as inflated as James\'s, but I\'m loving every step, :D. You\'re right about Sirius, though. I\'ll go back over that again. Otherwise, glad you enjoyed it!

 
Reviewer: Phoebe Gruzelier Signed
Date: 09/09/07 Title: Chapter 7: Young Love

Awwww... how sweet and cute! I 'loved' the serious discusion, otherwise the chapter would have been altogether too fluffy. It was a nice balance.

Only one correction: 'The time not spent with homework and studying for the pre-O.W.L. pop quizzes'-----In England, we have tests, not pop quizzes.

I think this story is absolutely fantastic. It just keeps getting better and better!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading, reviewing, complimenting AND brit-picking. It\'s difficult for me to keep up with random differences like that so it\'s great of you to point them out! Glad you\'ve enjoyed so far!

 
Reviewer: Phoebe Gruzelier Signed
Date: 09/01/07 Title: Chapter 1: James

A very, very interesting first chapter! You have me rushing off to find the 2nd installment! Everyone was IC, and Petunia is developing nicely. She's cannon, but seems younger than the Mrs. Dursley we all know and love/hate.

BUT there was one problem to this groovy start of the story. She fell in love with James far too quickly. I know you probably can't do anything about it now but I just thought I'd mention it. You only fall in love with someone after getting to know them. I don't hold with love at first sight. And I don't know about anyone else, but it hasn't happened to me.

Anyway, great first chappie. Looking forward to number 2!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing! Yeah, I don\'t really hold by \"love at first sight\" either, but she seemed like someone who might. ;) So glad you\'ve enjoyed this so far!

 
Reviewer: Phoebe Gruzelier Signed
Date: 09/18/07 Title: Chapter 9: O.W.L.s

Ah-ha! Hellllo, I'm back! (By popular demad!)

Petunia's panic at the start of the chapter was very well written! I know I feel just the same before going into exams, even if it's English when you just make your answers up.

It was a nice metaphor with the owl, that Petunia could be just as well loved as Lily if she didn't keep pushing her parents away. (If it wasn't intentionally done then you're just lucky).

I can't really imagine inviting boys on a camping holiday, especially as one of them was her boyfriend, but that's just me.

Just 2 corrections:

'"Evans, Petunia; Frank Luisa; Gad Samuel; Grant Morris," ' put those commas in, girl! (Frank, Luisa etc)

'"Wow!" Petunia said under her breath. She didnít even stop to be jealous that her mum was obviously in more contact with Lily than with her, nor to consider that her mum really didnít have a way to reach her younger daughter. '------this sentance is way too long (it takes up a wopping 4 lines on my Word Processor) so I'd put a full stop in somewhere.

Bye!



Author's Response: Thanks for the review! Good for popular demand! ;). Thanks also for pointing out the missing commas and whopper sentence... :D I\'ll go fix those right now! I hope you continue enjoy this fic... And thanks for reviewing and helping me make it better!

 
Reviewer: Phoebe Gruzelier Signed
Date: 09/02/07 Title: Chapter 2: James vs. Snape

Ooh! You have me hooked! I love Petunia's partiality to James. And the way she always excuses everything he does. Very realistic!

It was interesting seeing Snape's Worst Meomory from someone other than Harry, and gives it all a fresh new edge.

A few (minour) points:

'It was a warm summers afternoon'-----That 's' on the end of 'summer' shouldn't be there.

'She was now 14' ----- you need to write 'fourteen' rather than just in numbers.

'Petunia had on her hot robes,'--------It sounds a bit awkward. I'd put 'had her hot robes on' instead.

Apart from that, the story's great and really well paced!

Author's Response: *Squee!* Thanks so much! I\'ll definitely go back and fix all those things ... thanks for pointing them out! I hope you like the rest!

Author's Response: *Squee!* Thanks so much! I\'ll definitely go back and fix all those things ... thanks for pointing them out! I hope you like the rest!

 
Reviewer: Phoebe Gruzelier Signed
Date: 09/28/07 Title: Chapter 15: All Alone

Bonjour!

This chapter, again, was fantastic. The dreams, her misery...everything was portrayed angstfully, but on a delicate balance. It wasn't overwhelmingly sad. Just very, very poiniant.

But, as ever, I have some corrections:

'Perhaps James would tell her he had made a mistake he didn't love Lily. Of course he loved her, Petunia. '------You use 'love' twice. I'd change the first one to 'want'. Or something.

'She dreamt that she was laying in the streets, '------ 'lying' instead of 'laying' .... I think. I'm not exactly sure. But it's definitely not 'laying'.

'she took them and smiled like a movie star. '------it's more British to say 'film star'.

'Life couldn't be that cruel. But life had been cruel before, hadn't it? '----change one of the 'cruel's.

VERY dramatic cliffhanger!

Author's Response: Thanks! I\'m glad you liked this chapter! I really appreciate the comments, too. I\'ll go make those changes!! I hope you like the rest!

 
Reviewer: Phoebe Gruzelier Signed
Date: 09/02/07 Title: Chapter 3: Snape's Revenge

Your story is just so good! It keeps on surprising me. I love it!

I think the bit '"Yeah, I think that's what he was suggesting. Or are we so low-down that you wouldn't want to be seen with us?" he joked, then added in a stage whisper: "Wouldn't surprise me, you know, with these two around.Ē' was my favourite. The Marauders all stay like they should, and so do Petunia, Lily and Snape!

I think June is a brilliant character (the angsty, hormonal teenager)!

Just one thing I spotted:

'"How To Perform A Correct Summoning Charm And When It Can Be Useful In Everyday Life" '----- It needs to be '"How to Perform a Correct Summoning Charm and When It Can Be Useful in Everyday Life"'.

Looking forward to the next chappie!

Author's Response: Thanks! Things like that always escape my notice and I\'m correcting everything you say! :D Thanks for reading and reviewing! And for praising my fic, :)

 
Reviewer: Phoebe Gruzelier Signed
Date: 09/02/07 Title: Chapter 4: You Just Want Lily

Awwwww..... I feel so sorry for the poor girl. I thought you might've strung the 'he loves me, he really does. He's about to say so' bit because it was really good and could have done with more time.

But it was FAB!

Author's Response: Thanks so much! You\'re right, I\'ll look at that passage again, maybe I can squeeze a bit more out of it! :D Thanks again!

 
Reviewer: Phoebe Gruzelier Signed
Date: 09/15/07 Title: Chapter 8: Meeting Luisa

I love Luisa! When I first met her, I thought 'she's so much like Luna' and then she turned out to be dating a Lovegood!

It's really good that Petunia's got a friend who's a girl. Cause girls who hang around with boys all the time get all sorts of nasty reputations...

I like Petunia's character. Lily is really annoying me (which I suppose she's meant to so well done). I've been wondering what she's doing in Hufflepuff until now (she seemed like she'd belong in any other house apart from Hufflepuff) but now I think she seems much better suited.

Now for the criticism (hey, don't look at me like that, it's necessary!)

Luisa's name ---- the spelling really annoyed me. Louisa is one of my favourite names, but it didn't look right without the 'o'. Just my opinion, though.

'For most of the year, Petunia's life continued in much the same manner,'---- I think you should change 'manner' to 'way'. It sounds better, to me at least.

'We could quiz each other," Luisa stated.'----- 'test each other' not 'quiz each other'. It sounds more British.

'Basically, she was like an only child'----I think 'She was basically like an only child' flows better.

'She leaned over and kissed James quickly on the mouth'---- the 'on the mouth' is uneccessary.

Apart from that, everything's very interesting!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review! :D I do appreciate your comments, and I will go fix most of the things you said (I must admit I prefer Luisa without the \"o\", though, personally). I\'m glad you like Luisa! (Even without the o...)

 
Reviewer: Phoebe Gruzelier Signed
Date: 10/12/07 Title: Chapter 18: Thoughts of Revenge

Sorry it took so long to get onto this chapter...blame my teachers!

All Petunia's meomories were touching and realistic. They really seemed to sum up growing up in some strange way.

Petunia wanting to kill Voldie is a bit mad. Even though she's a Muggleborn, wouldn't she have heard about him from other students from the school. She's going to get herself killed.

Nice chapter. Couldn't find any mistakes. Petuina is crazy. Lily is evil. Yeah, that's about it...

Author's Response: That\'s okay, my teachers are horrible sometimes too... And thanks for the review! No mistakes... cool... I think grief can have a crazy effect on people... Again, thanks for the review! :)

 
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