Hello everyone who decided to grace this boring page!
I am a native Floridian, recent college graduate, happily married (even though the hubby doesn't understand the obession...)! I have been reading for years, but only recently taken a dive into writing. I'm a proud Hufflepuff and have recently taken to drabbling as well, so some of those might turn into stories as well.
Stories (click for banner on all):
A Life From the Ashes:
Third Task challenge fic, centered on Ron.
Banner by whomovedmyquill.
A True Weasley
Why Percy Weasley was sorted into Gryffindor. For the Hufflepuff Back to Hogwarts Challenge.
A one-shot about Luna as a child.
For the Halloween Challenge - Halloween Explained.
This series highlights important, pivotal moments in a characters' life.
It did not start as a series, but has taken flight in my mind, and you can't really tell those things "no", can you?
Each summary is purposefully vague, for telling you the moment ahead of time is anticlimatic, in my opinion.
Series banner by psijupiter.
A Harry/Ginny story, a missing moment from the HBP.
Banner by lilykinslove.
A Ron/Hermione story, Post-Hogwarts.
Banner by Bine/luinrina.
All reviews are appreciated and cherished.
During the trip to Godric's Hollow, Hermione, through the course of events, comes to realize that her friendship with Harry had become so much more to her - but not to him. This pain, this disconcerting feeling, however, had nothing to do with Horcruxes.
HAHA! Jess, I love this. I really really do. It's actually quite sad and tragic, and it didn't feel forced. It was almost as if Hermione was overtaken by something she didn't understand, which of course, is rare for her, and it sort of ran away from her and she actually let her feelings led her to something for once.
Don't know if that makes sense, but I enjoyed it. :)
Awww! Tackle!hug, you still had time to read my lil' story, even though you work 900 hours a week! That makes me warm and fuzzy inside. :)
I guess something like this would scare the daylights out of Hermione, to not know what she feels or what to do about it. I've never really written her before, so it's hard for me to judge how I did. JKR said herself that there are so many stories between the lines in DH...this is just my mere interpretation of one of them.
I'm so glad you enjoyed it, and I hope to talk to you as soon as the work monster stops hiding under you desk. :)
I heart you!
Alexandra Quick returns to Charmbridge Academy for eighth grade, angry and in denial. Unwilling to accept the events of the previous year, she is determined to fix what went wrong, no matter what the cost. When her obsession leads her to a fateful choice, it is not only her own life that hangs in the balance, for she will uncover the secret of the Deathly Regiment!
This is the third book in the Alexandra Quick series.
Once again, I have eagerly read several chapters and failed to leave a review. :(
I feel slightly vindicated for not having condemned and written off Darla! Even though, like Alex, I don’t entirely trust her, suddenly a whole new light has been shined on her. That conversation in the library between the two of them was very enlightening and it made me want to go back and read previous conversations with Darla in “Lands Beyond”.
Quite a cliffie in the last chapter. Alex is still quite the determined and powerful little thing, isn’t she? I honestly didn’t think it would work! And then JOURNEY! AAHH! Sooo good. Originally I was wondering "Why him?" But I think that it worked that way because he's been haunting the school and she summoned the ghost on the campus? I will have to go back and read the exact words of what she said when she summoned him.
Okay, those were like, mini-reviews for the chapters I didn’t leave a review for, lol.
That conversation with Journey was fantastic. Just utterly brilliant and terrifying and gripping and yet at the same time I wanted to jump into her world to shake her! Oh Alex you scare me sometimes with your crazy one-track mind and your determination to do things that are ridiculously stupid and have only a bare chance of working. And yet like Harry in HBP with his fierce defense of his Malfoy-is-a-Death-Eater theory…he actually turned out to be right. So I'm going to keep excitedly reading and hope that Alex is actually going to right, because I really miss Max, too.
“Any rational person (other than Alexandra) would think what she was planning was suicide.” LOL
With each chapter I read, my impatience to read the next one grows. Great great story! Thanks!
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OMG I've just read like, four chapters and ;akmn;oeim;a ie pretty much accurately describes it. I not only just read four chapters in quick succession, but read them breathlessly, at the edge of my seat, gasping in all the right places and talking out loud to my computer.
Great great chapters and eek! I can't wait for the next ones! I desperately hope that my work doesn't keep me away for so long again!
I’ve been an avid reader since the first Alex Quick book…but a terrible reviewer. I don’t think I’ve even left a review for Deathly Regiment yet, which is one of the most terrible things I can do as a reader. I’m here to make up for that just ever so slightly. I deeply admire these stories, for many reasons.
I think the most effective element of these stories is the characters. Alex herself is deeply flawed, and having been on this journey with her, you empathize with her, you root for her. And yet at the same time, you also understand the frustration of Anna and Julia, at her inability to face her own weaknesses and emotions, and at her seemingly impossible journey to get Max back. I think the strongest part of the characterization is that not everyone appears what they seem at first. This chapter is an excellent illustration of the ambiguity that is present in many of the characters: Dean Grimm and her sister are hard, no nonsense, strict, meddlesome, interfering…and yet:
“Do you really think after all your escapades, all your lying, that you'd still be on your way back to Charmbridge if she and I weren't doing our best to keep you out of the hands of the Juvenile Magical Offenses Division?”
The ability to have no conclusions to be drawn immediately on any character is something that I no longer take for granted reading this series…even Darla, after the last book, is still ambiguous, and that is a powerful testament to your writing, considering we are only seeing the books from Alex’s POV.
For the series overall: the plots are powerful, complex, and wickedly addictive. There isn’t a boring chapter – it is always moving, revealing something interesting, humorous, character driven, intriguing…I can frequently be found at my desk at work with your story up on my Blackberry, which is one of the lame excuses I give for not leaving a review, as it becomes tedious to type on out when there are two letters per key and I now appear to be typing a lengthy text message. I’ve cried, I’ve gasped out loud, I’ve gone back to reread certain passages once things have been revealed, I’ve made guesses and second guesses and thought about the story during random times of the day.
Now, as for this chapter in particular:
Alex has still not reached that point of acceptance of Max’s death, which I feel is both obvious in this chapter from her conversation with Anna, but realistic…to a point. I keep debating about how precocious and determined she is to do something like steal Valera’s time turner, and yet I have to keep reminding myself of her age. I know that you’ve been told several times she acts much more mature than her age, and I every once in a while when I read a sentence she says, or a word she uses, or an action she takes, I have a little, “Hmmm…” moment myself. She is very cheeky, witty, quick (almost instinctive) to bite back to authority, and driven towards an almost adult goal of changing a large and important part of her life. But at the same time, it’s her character development that allows me to embrace this. She’s obviously a powerful witch, and while she doesn’t necessarily flaunt it, she doesn’t back down from it either, and sometimes uses it to her advantage. She also is not emotionally developed, and I think it’s this emotional development – the inability to accept Max’s death and her own inability to open up to other people – that is the strongest factor for her immaturity and age, as she is constantly arguing she can handle situations, where even we as the reader, who sees what she’s been through, knows that sometimes, she can’t.
I have a soft spot for Anna, and therefore really enjoyed the scene between the two in the beginning. I think their friendship is such a strong part of Alex’s life, whether she realizes it or not, and it made me heave a sigh of relief when they were on better terms. In addition, it helped to illustrate that while Alex is still working on that emotional maturity thing (“You're right. I've lied to you. I've hidden things from you. Not just from you — from everyone. I've hurt a lot of people, including my own sister.” Alexandra closed her eyes. “I'm not good at talking about... stuff, Anna.”), she’s still not there yet (“Are you done trying to bring back Max?” Anna asked softly. Alexandra didn't answer immediately. “No,” she said at last.”).
The dance idea can of course, become clichéd, but the way in which clichés are written can make them readable, subverted, whatever you want to call it. The focus of the Winter Ball, in this case, was not necessarily the outfits, or the hair, or the dates – although, part of it was. But, really, it all seemed to flow smoothly in one chapter, interspersed throughout with Alex being completely nonchalant and trying to persuade Anna to go, and making fun of the others for making a big deal (the fact that she kept rolling her eyes at everyone kept making me giggle). But of course the kicker of the whole thing was Larry Alpo.
As with many of the chapters, each chapter manages to have a mini-cliffhanger of its own, lol. And its own twists and turns that manage to be surprising and eluding, but that make sense when you think back on it. As of right now, having Larry Alpo, the last person in the entire school she would dance with, relay the message, do it by DANCING with her, seems like an odd way to do it, especially due to the suspicion it’s bound to arise. But…I’m willing to have a little faith…to see why it might have happened that way, as the “why”, or after-effects, are not usually felt for several chapters. Again – the ambiguity. And what is the significance of Valentine’s Day? I do feel like, because of the massiveness of the stories, and the fact that I haven’t re-read the other two books, and that I read them every few days at a time and not necessarily continuously, that there might be some significance that I don’t remember, but that we’ve been told? Or…that I’m having too much fun digging into it, and there might not be really any significance at all. :) I enjoy that aspect of these stories.
I think it is a shame that this story does not get more substantive reviews, and I apologize for myself for not leaving reviews when reading, as I have done with every chapter of the Alex Quick stories. I know you have written this story out in its entirety, and that there isn’t much in the way of constructive criticism in here, but at least know that you have a very appreciative admirer who hopes you continue to write Alex’s journey.
Wow, what a wonderful, long review! I think that makes up for your lack of previous reviews. But feel free to write more. ;)
Your observations about Alexandra's mental state and emotional development are spot-on. If anything, she regressed after Max's death, and she hasn't really recovered yet. She's trying, but her trials are not over yet...
Nominated in the 2010 Quicksilver Quill Awards for Best Canon Romance.
GAAAHHH! Julia, why couldn’t you have posted this last night when I was not so busy!? I would have left you a ridiculously long review instead of the insufficient one I’m about to Seriously, I am so happy that you told me about this. THESE are the kinds of stories that make fanfiction utterly and completely worthwhile. This was beautiful. This was real. This was a culmination of seven years of love and pain and lust and friendship and your words made me sigh and smile and tear up a bit.
I know you love your Harmony, but you seem to understand Ron/Hermione just fine. :) Seriously, their characterization was flawless.
The image of the window and its transition of something unblemished into something cold and needing to be broken was superb.
Author's Response: AMANDA! It's been in the queue for a bit but I could have posted it on LJ for you come to think... anyway. Thank you! I'm so so so glad you enjoyed it because I know you love Ron/Hermione and so your review means a lot. I'm quite surprised that people think I understand Ron/Hermione because that was what I was worried about the most. As you said, I've written Harmony and also some other Hermione/George etc so it was strange writing canon!Hermione for once. It's good to know that she was in character with Ron. I love how you mentioned the window. That was what set this whole fic off. I was thinking about post-Battle Hermione and I had this sudden picture of her in my head standing beside a window with all the others shattered. Again, thanks for reading and reviewing! I was a bit worried about what you might think so I'm grinning from ear to ear right now. Julia XD
I can’t help leave you a substantial review for this one (and that’s my work jargon. :) ).
I wasn’t sure what to expect with this; I never am with James/Lily. They’ve been done so many times, but even I feel the lure to write my OWN version, because it can be done so many different ways, with so many different subtleties. I think the lure of J/L is that it’s such an enticing mix of romance that doesn’t work without believable character development. So, as you are like, my hero for character development, I was pretty excited to read this. You had me hooked with this line, right off the bat:
“So, it was he who went to her. As usual.”
You have SUCH A KNACK for simple lines that convey so much about the characters – Lily has power over James. AND USES IT. But…he succumbs to it. Is he bitter about it? We don’t know. But it was such a great little scene and I just blubber repeatedly about how good you are at choosing those moments that so wonderfully illustrate things about the characters through their actions better than back story and exposition do. This little opening scene is one, especially when it ends with: “She left him wearing a brave grin on his face, and bearing a heart that crumpled a little.”
LOL, I was so focused on James/Sirius conversation the first time around that I didn’t realize what they were doing. James seems to have been just as foolish and arrogant as Sirius, but I think his pursuit of Lily when Sirius didn’t get it made him the more mature of the two. I don’t know if that makes sense, but I’m not going to bother to write my thesis on it here.
You have claimed to me that you don’t do romance well, but there are so many lines here that are so good: “The world wouldn’t disappear, of course, but he didn’t honestly know how else to get her alone with him.” || “And yet, it was what he enjoyed the most, to know that he could make Lily Evans feel for him.” And yet he’s still a BOY, hastily reassessing that he doesn’t want Quidditch to disappear.
BUT OH MAN that lead-up to James’ POV on SWM might be the best I’ve ever seen. And it was so brief and eluded to but gaaaaah when I read: “As he looked at the boy – the one who he had disliked since he was an eleven-year-old – dangling in mid-year and about to have his pants taken off by him and Sirius, he found he couldn’t do it. And he didn’t.” I wanted to have the ability to call you and wake you up and demand that you realize how awesome you are.
I kind of had a bit of a skeptical moment when Remus said, “Methinks…” but as that was pretty small, it honestly didn’t detract from the rest of the story, just made me giggle a bit and go, “Methinks?”
I started to write, “My favorite scene…” and then I would change my mind. I have such an admiration for your style of writing, the scenes you choose to illustrate development and the way you are able to move a story along in chunks rather than one continuous piece. It works so well in this, and each one had such little touches that made them delightful in their own ways, and revealed just a bit about each character. And I love the cork popping when he asked her. The scene was very vivid in my head.
Great lines I wanted to pull out that really stuck with me:
“If she said no now, she would never say yes.” – really showing part of James’ essential character – his determination to do what he believes in, something that was passed on to Harry, and really…just a great line.
“He thought he would sink to the ground as he held on for a reply. He thought he was weightless and would evaporate on the spot any second. He thought he would die. He thought it was over, and nothing ever mattered anymore.” – umm…aw.
“And she came to him.” GGAAAHHH! And the line you got me hooked with has been book-ended!! You were probably grinning when you read the beginning of this review. Now, I have to comment that when I read that line originally, I didn’t forsee it as this big moment that would be completed at the end (and maybe that’s my poor forshadowing…) but, I LIKE that it didn’t bowl me over…each use is subtle but at the same time, I am touched reading it. Does that make sense?
Um, you wrote that in 2.5 hours?! I should get H/G or D/A challenges with time constraints.
Great read, Natalie, super great read. Love!
This story was incredible in the amount of truth and nostalgia it created in me in being someone with sisters and a larger family who gets together frequently. I have never thought about my connection to Ron in such a way…he’s always reminded me of my husband, and I’ve never personally identified with him, but reading this was kind of like a shock to my own understanding of his character. This was one of my favorite lines: …sometimes it’s hard to remember that there ever was a BH (before Harry, before Hermione, before Hogwarts, before horcruxes and hallows and heartbreak and happiness and hell and home). That line alone summed up an amazing feel for me personally in my own life- no matter where you move or who you marry or what you do, there’s just something powerful about being with your family that your spouse doesn’t get. And then to read the rest of the story, with Ron’s own journey, and to identify with it so heavily was powerful.
Literally a myriad of images kept bombarding me as I was reading, and it made the Weasley’s feel nearly more alive than I’ve ever imagined them to feel before. The moments that Ron remembers (…warm summer nights when they’d eat cold meat pies out in the garden, and cold winter mornings spent huddled by the fire, sipping hot chocolate and playing Exploding Snap…”) were obviously not the same ones I had, but they were so quintessential that I couldn’t help but be transported to my own memories. That is such a strength of this piece, and it left me thinking not only about it, but about the theme of it for days after reading it.
And even for all of my personal nostalgia, the other aspects of it are still strong: the characterization in particular, such as Percy being mildly disapproving of the Exploding Snap game, and Molly being remembered for “reaming Bill”, Ginny is “sharpness and sweetness”, and Charlie smuggles in a salamander that caught their table on fire. But your characterization of Ron is so phenomenal. It’s hard for me not to get gushy about good Ron characterization, as he gets abused so much, but I’m afraid that’s what might happen here a bit. He struggles still trying to tell Ginny how he feels, and yet the fact that he’s telling Ginny is part of his development. And DH Ron has a special place in my heart, so I love this line: “Ron thinks suddenly of those horrible weeks he spent at Bill’s, unable to go be a part of Christmas with Fred, George, and Ginny, knowing all along he belonged with Harry and Hermione. It’s been over twenty years, but it still hurts in places he tries to keep hidden. I feel as this that was such a huge moment in his characterization, and it would have changed something within him…that’s a great way to put it.
I like that it was in present tense, as well. It just seemed to fit not only Ron’s mood, but the way that you characterized Ron. There were almost moments of run on sentences, as if we were really seeing his thoughts, but I really think it worked, because it felt like I was reading something Ron had written, or was hearing his direct thoughts on paper. The paragraph about the adults sleeping in the living room, for example.
The moments with Hermione were lovely, and the ending was as well. I felt hopeful and uplifted after reading it, and yet had an impulse to call my sisters, lol. Sorry I have no critique…it’s not often I read a story and I think about it as I have this one. It was very moving and very powerful for me personally, and not only was it brilliantly written, but it suddenly added new dimensions to the Weasley family that made them seem more alive.
A note was discovered in the aftermath of Harry's capture at Malfoy Manor. It's sweet, it's romantic, it's...complete fluffy rubbish.
What will happen to this heartfelt missive? Will it find its intended recipient, or will it be lost in the wreckage of Voldemort's former occupation?
Oh man Jess, this review is so late, but I have been thinking about this story randomly because it makes me smile, and…better late than never!
I cannot decide what I like best about this story. The letter is so quintessentially Harry, but Draco is so in-character, but George staring down Draco is awesome, and Ginny’s reaction when she gets the letter…and it’s all neatly packed into this one-shot. I know you don’t understand us poor Garry? Hinny? Did-we-ever-come-up-with-a-name-for-them? But you did them such excellent justice and now I am truly wishing this were a moment that could have happened.
The first line made me truly laugh out loud, …chasing down Horcruxes. Then again, you don’t really know about those yet… Don’t know if that was intended to be sort of clueless Harry, but for some reason, it made me giggle, imaging Harry writing this letter, and then going, “Oops, she doesn’t have a freaking clue what I’m talking about.” And while none of the letter felt forced or rushed, the best paragraph by far was the one that started “I probably shouldn’t even be writing this…” where he goes on to say, “oh bollocks, I don’t even know what I want anymore.” It gave the letter a feeling that he didn’t plan anything except that he had a sense of loss, of desperation. You gave a time frame through some of it- Ron’s gone, Ginny’s not at school anymore- so we can imagine how he was feeling during this time and you did an excellent job of having that come through in the letter.
The last paragraph of it did get quite soppy and romantic, and almost ridiculously so for Harry. The first time I read it, I almost winced, going “Oh, that is kind of cheesy, and sappy”…
…but at the same time, it makes it perfect to have Draco’s opening line after it, and THAT made me giggle, and agree with him, that it was the “sappiest sodding letter” I might have ever read. So I’m not sure if that was intentional or not, but overall, I think it works, and I do have to admit, if I were Ginny, and Harry-freaking-Potter wrote me that, I would probably cry, too, lol.
Draco’s internal dialogue was so snarky and condescending, and yet it felt at the same time like he was trying to hide his own conscience from himself. Some niggling, annoying voice in the back of his head kept telling Draco to do the right thing. What really pissed him off is that he knew what that was. He never thought about “Harry” or “Ginny”, but about “Potter” and “the Weasley girl”, although we knowhe knows their names. He still smirks, and thinks about them as “blood-traitors” in their “ramshackle house”. He even makes fun of Hagrid!
But ha! He’s nervous and uncomfortable, which make ME smirk, and I like the dichotomy that is this Draco – the arrogance mixed with the sense of humbling he got from his seventh year. I think one of my favorite parts was actually his own interactions with George; the twins would have had quite a reputation at Hogwarts, and meeting him one on one at his own house, full of more Weasley’s, probably would have made him think about all the horrid pranks he pulled during his tenure there. But more importantly, he is made most uncomfortable by the way he feels after it’s over and done with. He can’t handle the sense of gratitude, or the feeling that he might never make someone feel that way. I really liked how you handled Draco’s involvement with emotions that he hasn’t experienced much of before: discomfort, curiosity, hope, and what I imagined was a slight jealousy. He didn’t explore them fully or wallow in them, just let them kind of…brush by him, and then firmly took control of the situation whenever he could and got the crap out of there.
I know you know I really really like this story. I think it’s brilliantly executed and tastefully done and gives justice to this beautifully little moment that completely could have happened. It doesn’t make me like Draco, but it makes me think that he could find something, someday, and grow. It makes me think that you could like Harry/Ginny, lol, because the letter gives them a beautiful moment (I need better adjectives). And the fact that you wrote it for my birthday just makes me glow inside. :)
Ah, I've been waiting for this review. :)
It's weird, because I wrote this story some time ago, and I'm still getting reviews for it here and there, so every time I have a message in the inbox for a new review for this, I was always hoping that it was from you. But now it is, and I'm excited. ^.^
I'll be honest, though I wrote this totally for you, putting Draco in it was completely self-indulgent on my part. I love Malfoy/Weasley interaction (not in the Drinny fashion), so it gave me a perfect opportunity to redeem him ever so slightly in their eyes. I debated having George chase Draco for making Ginny cry, not knowing why she was, but I declined. Maybe he did and Draco just didn't notice...it's up to you. :D
I think that there aren't many major characters who I know and understand better than Harry. I may not be as familiar with him as much as I think I am, but in this case, I'm sure that his very first love note (boys are always so terrible at these) came out okay. I just think that Harry wanted to feel closer to her at that moment, but he didn't even have the luxury of just watching her little blip on the Map. Really, though, it just makes me wonder why she didn't give him a picture of herself instead of a kiss before he left. Silly chit, lol. It gets a bit rambly, but I did that intentionally, as Harry does get rambly around girls he likes. Though I do think that Ginny would be the first to tell him to just shut up and kiss her; I can so see that in my head.
This whole story was the product of a little plot bunny which I had been sitting on - literally - for months. I was sitting at my desk, listening to my regular playlist for writing, and the Hercules song, Go the Distance by Michael Bolton, came on (yes, my muse has odd taste). It just immediately took my mind to Harry/Ginny, but I put it off because I had other things going on. But then your birthday came, and I knew that it was time to dust off the cobwebs and turn that dust bunny into a story. I really hadn't meant for it to be that long, but it seemed to have brewed and developed while I was gone. Not unlike wine, really. It started off as raw in my mind, but when it came out, it was mellow and smooth.
My personal favorite part was the interaction between Draco and George. Let's not forget that it was Draco and company that basically ruined Quidditch for the twins. Sure, them leaving school worked out pretty well in the end, giving them better opportunity to work on WWW, but the bitterness would still be there, IMO.
Anyway, I'll shut up now. I'm rambling like lovestruck!Harry. :D
Love you, muchacha, and I hope your work dies down a bit and allows you more fun time. Take care!
I donâ€™t want to be beaten into pulp, though, do I? But â€“ darn it â€“ my wand is not in my pocket!
I am Andrew Carlton, Ravenclaw student, and nephew of Florean Fortescue, the ice-cream man of Diagon Alley. And Iâ€™m about to get the beating of my life.
This is hestiajones of Hufflepuff writing for the Character Clinic Triathlon, Round 3: Original Character. My chosen prompt is 2: Adventure during the Summer Holidays.
Many thanks to the original Brit Carole (Equinox Chick) for beta-ing this for me, for Huntingdon Hall and Oakdene, and for pork scratchings. Thanks to Lori (WeasleyMom) as well for the prank. Yes, the best pranksters are in Hufflepuff.
DISCLAIMER: I am not JK Rowling. Premises for story belongs to her, though Andy and Rooney are mine. ;)
What a unique style this fic is written in…but it works. The shift from past to present tense was slightly unnerving, but I very quickly realized that Andy went from going, “See, this is what you need to know,” to, “I am deciding to pocket my wand and I’m ringing the doorbell and this is happening RIGHT NOW.” I think the only reason I kind of blinked a bit was because the transition happened within a sentence rather than at the break right below it. But the present tense for the rest of the story was nice.
The words and tone that was used for the rest of the story was phenomenal. It captured this spirit of young adolescent boys, and for some reason, I pictured it taking place in like, the sixties and seventies. I have no idea if that’s what you were going for, but the bullies wearing the baseball caps, and the language Andy used in his own internal dialogue just gave me that sense. I think the most vivid image was Roony showing up with his Lab, in the park, and the “Stuff it, or your friend gets it!” sort of talk. Am I making any sense? Oh well, that’s just the impression I got. It very much felt like it was not written by, but written from the POV of a 12 year-old boy, which is hard to do sometimes, so kudos!
I wasn’t sure where the story was going in the beginning, but it became very easy to follow once the story settled in the present tense, and it moved along after the first conversation with Roony. I’ve got to be honest and say I’m not sure all the background information (like, “Hey, this is what a Muggle is!”) at the beginning was strictly necessary for the story, but it did help give the sense of his age and his enthusiasm. And I do feel that the rest of the background information (hey, I am Muggle-born, my best friend is not, etc.) about Andy himself was.
As with all of your stories, the characters, even through EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER (with the exception of the brief mention of Fortescue) were completely original, were all those that became developed and fully characterized by the end of it. I had a grasp on not only Roony and Andy, but their relationship, and I would have read more chapters in this story if you had decided to continue it. I already knew I liked Andy from reading about Fortescue, and I think I made the same comment on that story. You have an incredible knack for that, and I personally believe it stems from choosing these brilliant moments that help wonderfully illustrate their characters through their actions and interactions in addition to their words. This is no different – the boys worked together impulsively to prank the bully, and it helped them build a rift in their friendship. I was giggling and didn’t stop reading to write down anything for this review because quite frankly I didn’t want to.
Right at the end, you have Roony “blushed” rather than “blushes”…I think it should be the latter as everything up to this point is present-tense. And the last sentence is kind of awkward…it might read better as “We have each other back” rather than “got”, but neither of these detracts from the story in the least.
Overall, my twin, fantastic story and it was simply a joy to read! You are putting out too many stories for me to keep up with! :)
Author's Response: Hey twin!
I knew that tense shift was going to be confusing, but that is how I wanted to write it. I wrote the fic as though Andy was telling you what was going through his mind, just like you pointed out. One minute, he was bored; the other, he wanted you to know what had happened the previous year.
I also debated a lot over whether it was necessary for Andy to give us all that background info, but then, I decided that for someone like Andy, who was a bit like Colin Creevey, he’d be pretty enthusiastic about it all. And then, just like a twelve-year-old, he would lose interest in it, and then think about how bored he was.
I’m relieved you thought the tone of the story suited adolescents. I tried hard on that one. :D As for the baseball cap, hm…I had it beta-ed by Carole, and she reckons that in the nineties, baseball caps were quite common. Besides, Big Joe needed one to hide his abominable hair. Lol.
Thanks for pointing out the blushes/blushed part. Eep! That was an error. And thanks for the wonderful review! I touched the friendship between the two a bit in the other fic, and I knew I wanted to write a story on that. However, the poor readership and abysmal number of reviews made me wonder if I’d gone somewhere wrong. But this made me cheer up a great deal!
It didn’t seem possible. He had been standing before her merely five minutes ago, but now he was gone. She stared up at the empty archway. He had mentioned voices, but there was no sound. Someone was holding her, pulling her arm, calling for her to run, but she couldn’t move. Where had he gone? Where had Sirius gone? Why weren’t they coming back?
Ginny thinks back to that fateful night in the Department of Mysteries—the night she lost Harry Potter.
Oh my goodness, Julia. That left me nearly breathless and sad. I actually took a moment to stare at my computer after I read that. I love reading your stories because you are such a powerful writer. The mix of incredible beautiful language mixed with the way you piece them together nearly like poetry…but just in the right way so as not to overwhelm. It still flows like prose. But the imagery is astounding. She stepped up towards the arch. Pain shot through her leg, and vomit rose up her throat, hot and sour, deathly sweet. Vomit described as deathly sweet? But because of the context, it makes sense…or at least, it does to me, because of the sense of what you are trying to convey.
I think the strength in this lies in two things:
First, in the way in which it flows between thoughts. This is not strictly a stream of consciousness, but it moves between all of Ginny’s thoughts that she seems to have every night. And you connect all of these ideas that bind all of these thoughts together at the end of each paragraph or each phrase:
"She was angry now. Her sorrow always seemed to slowly slip into anger—anger at Harry. He had been so selfish."
"Merlin, it hurt so much. And yet how could she be angry with him when here she was, twenty years old, drunk, and still thinking about the boy she had never known to love?"
I love the way that you have Ginny move between all of the emotions, because you managed to have me moving right along with her. Even though it might not make rational sense if you stop and think about it (but really, when do emotions make rational sense?), when I was reading along with her, everything she was feeling made sense to me…if that makes sense…lol. The sorrow moving to anger because it makes her think of the selfishness…and the anger melting into the sadness and pity because she realizes she’ll never get to be with him…it’s such a depressing story when you think about it, because I got the impression reading this that it was something that Ginny experienced every night.
As they had never dated, I thought that Ginny’s attachment to Harry was overdone…or at least, would have been at the hands of a lesser writer. I’ve said dozens of times, and I’ll continue to say, that any cliché can be subverted, or even fully embraced, as long as it’s well written. Here is a great example of the love-struck Ginny that never even got to date Harry, and yet here she pines after him, which really shouldn’t make any sense, but it works. I honestly don’t know how realistic her love for him would have been, If we’re going to talk in a canoninical sense (LOL I really wanted to use that word, which I think I just made up, but you know what I meant?) …but because of the brilliance with which you wrote this, and the emotion that you carried through, I think it worked. I was going to suggest that perhaps it could have worked (if you wanted to be canon-compliant) by emphasizing more that his death really screwed things up for her family and caused everything to fall apart rather than making it about GINNY AND HARRY, but some of the lines were so freaking good, and poignant, and sad ("She wanted to think he had thought of her, of all their possibilities. But that was a teenage dream, a teenage crush, a teenage hope that had been lost at the age of fifteen, sixteen or seventeen. She did not know." AND the one I quoted already, about the “boy she had never known to love”) that I really don’t mean that completely whole-heartedly. But, you also know I’m a big sap for H/G, too. :)
Anyway, the second thing that makes this so powerful, and something I’ve noticed in some of your other writing, is that you have an awesome ability to use repetition. AND: your ability to use it without it becoming overpowering. The most obvious one is the use of “Greek”, which has a double meaning. I actually thought at first you meant Greek simply as “foreign”, but then when I realized you really did mean “Greek”, as in, they were in Greece, I realized you were a little genius. Also, the repetition of Ginny’s memories interspersed with what was happening in real time helped us not only to figure out what was going on (although, that didn’t take much in a sense of the core “Harry went through the veil” part), but really, to understand why it would have affected her so deeply. And mainly, it was the way they were written that stood out for me. There wasn’t really a sense of coherence to them (umm, that’s supposed to be a compliment)…it was almost raw feeling and movement, and the style of the flashbacks was much different than the rest of the piece, but it helped give a sense of loss and emptiness to what she was presently feeling.
You actually write similar in some ways to Natalie (and GAH you are both brilliant at it) in sentences like:
"those possibilities, those dreams of an eleven-year old girl had been cut from existence."
"There was a crash behind her, a strangled cry."
"So hard, so broken."
"But that was a teenage dream, a teenage crush, a teenage hope that had been lost at the age of fifteen, sixteen or seventeen."
Where, you don’t use conjunctions, but rather phrases strung together, but the places you chose to use them are usually where you want to convey something more emotional. And they weren’t overdone (because using them too much can become annoying and overbearning) and each place it just worked. It’s almost an artistic style of writing, and it looks poetic in a sense. Does that make sense?
I have no idea why I’m giving you a review this late at night…*coughslightlyintoxicated*…but as soon as I read this story I knew I had to, because of the sense of awe I had after reading it. I was kind of surprised it only had 2 reviews. This was quite tragic, but it was very fantastically written, and left me nearly breathless with its imagery and its language. You are a brilliant, brilliant writer, Julia!
PS: I'm SO SO SORRY! But I've tried to leave you this review TWICE now and it keeps cutting it off so I had to go through and remove all of the formatting. :( Sorry! Hopefully it worked this time!
Author's Response: Amanda! I'm finally replying to your wonderful review (I just typed woderful three times. I think there is something wrong with the 'n' on my keyboard O.o). First of all, thank you so much! It was such a surprise to see this since I've only received two other reviews so far. And the length! It made me all warm and fuzzy inside XD
I'm glad you found the emotions flowed well. I really tried hard to make the whole thing cohesive especially since it was an extended drabble. Like you said, it's not quite stream of consciousness but I wanted that feeling so it's good that came across. And you're right, I imagined Ginny doing this every night, like a really sad, tragic tradition. How morbid am I?
The aim of the fic wasn't really supposed to be focused on Ginny's love for Harry. In fact, I didn't really want to imply that Ginny was actually in love with Harry but more that she was grieving for what might have been and the fact that Harry's death changed her life so much. I took a long time to post this because I wasn't sure whether I should put it in the Alt Universe cat or Harry/Ginny. Now I think it may have been better in the Alt Universe cat because in my mind it's not actually a romance fic O.o And canoninical is SO a word no matter what Firefox tells me lol.
Hehe I'm rather happy you mentioned my repetition. I use it quite often and I worry that it gets tired and boring after a while. You also mentioned the 'raw feeling and movement' and I have to say that this is what I was going for. I really wanted this constant feeling that Ginny was on the brink of... I don't want to say a break-down but maybe that's the closest way to describe it. I just had this image of her sitting in a kitchen and a table with this glass of wine and looking as if she was about to slump over and burst out crying. It was almost as if she was using the memory to suppress this. Oh lol. I must sound crazy. I just like getting into characters' heads.
OMGoodness, you compared me to Natalie. Thank you so much. That is a huge compliment since I am in complete awe of her writing. And I can't believe what a lovely review you left me. I'm smiling from ear to ear right now and I just hope this response is adequate enough. No wonder you are in SPEW!
Thank so much! *hugs*
Harry Potter had seen death - a lot of death. Friends had passed in his lifetime, more so than any one person should ever experience, but how much is too much, even for the Chosen One?
Ron Weasley is dead, leaving behind his wife and his best mate. How can these two cope with their Trio being cut down to two? And when danger lurks in the shadows, can they find the strength to fight for one another?
*who's reading this at work? me? no, not me...*
I feel like you are sitting at the computer, laughing evilly as you write this...
It was quite dramatic (although I was sad for poor Ron! *she protested quite hotly*) but enjoyable and I sense some dramatic emotional angsty goodness coming up that I may or may not read at work...
LOL I miss reading FANFICTION SO DANG MUCH IT HURTS. This was chock full of set-up for future goodness, so I almost wish I would have waited until more chapters were written, but I will keep coming back for more...
What is this? Amanda is reading Harmony on purpose? We really have warped you, haven't we?
Well, I've always wanted to write a really good Harmony story that is plausible, and I knew for that to happen, Ron had to die. In my mind, it's much easier to break up Harry/Ginny than it is to breat up Ron/Hermione. I just want it to be as little AU as possible.
I'm so excited that you're on board. I plan on writing this one with shorter chapters (around 2500 each) so I can update quicker. This should be an interesting ride. :D
Holy Movie Canon, Batman! This fic won the 2011 Quicksilver Quill Award for Best Chaptered Humor Story. Thanks so, so much!
Ohhh man Lori, I love this SO MUCH. If my favorites function worked, this would go RIGHT IN IT. You have to let me know when it updates on LJ. I left some feedback in TTB, but seriously, this is so brilliant, I hope you know that. ANGRY!Dumbledore in GOF would be awesome...Ron getting relegated to the background in HBP or any scene where he is dumbed down...the H/G kiss or the SHOELACE SCENE ;lakd;i...seriously there is so much opportunity for this, and Gina is right: this is so brilliant partially because there is more than just the wittiness to it, there is a sense of realism that the characters can convey about the movies v. books that we cannot, and its cynical in some parts.
So much love for this.
Author's Response: Yay, Amanda! It just warmed my heart when I saw you'd reviewed! Thanks for all the encouragement--both in the drabble thread and here. I am actually very excited about this fic, though with the time constraints I am currently under, I don't expect updates to be as quick as I would like. As much as I love HBP, that entire movie is ripe for exploitation! Can you imagine Molly's reaction when she read in the script what was going to happen to her HOUSE? :) Oh, and don't you worry, SHOELACE references have already been written. Hehe. Stay tuned, friend. And thanks again!
I LOVE THIS SOOO MUCH.
I swear one day I leave a better review for this.
Author's Response: I know you are swamped, Amanda. You are such a sweetie to read and take time to review. I love that you love it. :) Thanks!
OMG LORI I SAW YOUR SIGNATURE AND I AM SO HAPPY YOU MADE THIS INTO A ONE SHOT FROM THAT DRABBLE I LOVE THIS TO PIECES OH MY GOSH.
Sorry for the capslock. There are no words for my love for this. You grasp Hermione and Ron so well it makes my heart hurt. I was teary-eyed reading this. This part of the story is my favorite time for them, and seriously I just love this so much, I just read it twice. No joke. I
Author's Response: Yay, Amanda! This is just to say, hey, I'm glad you're here, and look for my real response above. :D
...apparently MNFF is treating me the same as Julia, and it cut off my review. It don't exactly remember what the end said, except that it contained more gushing and a plea for you to mention when this gets updated on LJ or something so I can come finish it.
And I saw that you recommended The Dawn to someone in another review!! *swoons* I
Author's Response: You are awesome. Early encouragement from you and Natalie kept me plugging along at this. And I truly would not have written that last letter after his return if you had not suggested taking it that far. It just hadn't ever occurred to me, but I'm glad it's in there (even if it was the most difficult by far to write--ugh). Thanks again! (Oh, and I seriously recommend The Dawn all the time, all over the forums. It's wonderful.)
After it was all said and done, Harry wanted a sandwich. However, Ron knew that what he wanted was far deeper and complex and maddening and insufferable. But could Hermione ever forgive him for leaving her behind? Could he ever forgive himself?
This story was nominated for a 2011 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Canon Romance.
So...you keep saying you that you don't write "fluff" very well, but you certainly do write romance and a great story just fine, and this was just lovely. It made me sigh and smile and it was really delightful to read.
Thank you, dear.
I always wanted to know how Ron and Hermione would react to one another when Harry wasn't there to get between them, and this is just what popped out. Plus, Ron seemed pretty big-headed in the Epilogue, so that had to have started somewhere. :D
Thanks for reading, and yay to my story pimping bringing you some enjoyment during your sly work-reading.
I am so glad that there was a wonderful story of yours to read on the day I was able to relax and read some fanfiction, for your stories never fail to be character driven and and sympathetic. You know I have a soft spot for this Draco, the one who is still not very likeable, but has perhaps finally come to terms with who he used to be and has healed a bit and grown up a bit. This is a marvelous story about his own coming to terms, and rather than being predictable, you keep leaving me second-guessing where you are going with it. And everyone is in character- not even mentioning how much you have completely nailed Draco at what I imagine he might be in this point in his life, I particularly enjoy the last scene with his parents. And gah! I love your dialogue. I know you weren't sure if you were going to continue this story, but I for one think it's pretty marvelous.
Author's Response: Thank you, Amanda. You don;t quite know how much this review means to me. I was, as you know, humming and hawwing over this, but it is nearly complete so there's a definite end. Hmm, I think it was your stories about Draco and Astoria that got me thinking about him - so thank you again. ~Carole~
My jaw dropped- I am so touched- I am so excited to read this and just...
Okay, those were my thoughts before even reading it, lol.
Seriously, this is love and heartache and sweetness all wrapped into something beautiful. I love that it's from Ron's POV- partly because of the song, partly because of what is happening- it just makes more sense. I don't know if I ever mentioned this when you originally posted it on LJ, but you picked a different kind of moment that I would have thought upon hearing the song- a much sadder one- but it works and its the bittersweet sadness that goes so well with the love they find in each other.
This is so lovely, as are you. Thank you, this is amazing.
Author's Response: Thank you very much, Amanda. I'm glad you like the story and don;t think I did too badly by the song. I don't really know it vut the song came over as bittersweet in my mind, and I wanted a story that showed how much this pair belong to each other *sob*. I love Ron. ~Carole~
Oh, this was wonderful!!
Truthfully, I nearly cried, but that's because it was so sweet and sad. You write so so so well, do you know that, Lori? When Ron was watching Hermione cry and thinking about how great a mother she'd making and how he hated her pain and how much he loved her...it connected with me, and I nearly cried.
I love all forms of Ron and Hermione- this is very much an adult one, dealing with adult themes, but in their own way, and I feel like you just GET them so well they just pour out of you.
This was really really wonderful, and I'm not just saying that because I get to claim it. :) So thank you!! I loved it, and I hope others did, too.
Author's Response: Yay, you liked it! :) I'm glad you connected to it, and you thought it worked. It has been in my head for a while, and I wavered on whether to go with this for your day or to do something a little lighter... so I'm glad you didn't mind the angst. Then again, you are the queen of angsty Ron, as far as I'm concerned. ;) I'm so glad you had a fun birthday, and--right or wrong--I have completely shared in all the R/Hr love you received! :D *hugs*
Sorry to leave another review for a story I've already reviewed...I haven't read it for a long time, and I'm in a different place now. The last review I left said I nearly cried...I did cry this time.
You are really one of my favorite writers, Lori, and I feel like you get inside my head where I've got Ron and Hermione stored up and you write them in words I can't get across and its beautiful and I love reading your stuff. Don't stop writing, and if you don't get bored with them :) don't stop writing Ron and Hermione.
Author's Response: Aw, Amanda, this review is just love. You know I'm a fan of yours as well--knowing what a good writer you are makes your words that much more meaningful. I'm glad you connected to this one, especially since I wrote it for your birthday. ;) As for Ron and Hermione, they are home base for me, and I'm working another chaptered story along the lines of Shell Cottage for them. Thanks so much for always being such an encouragement to me, friend. It means more than you know!