Penname: ahattab33 [Contact]
Real name: Amanda
Member Since: 04/19/06
Website:
Beta-reader: No
Status: Member
Bio:
Hello everyone who decided to grace this boring page!

I am a native Floridian, recent college graduate, happily married (even though the hubby doesn't understand the obession...)! I have been reading for years, but only recently taken a dive into writing. I'm a proud Hufflepuff and have recently taken to drabbling as well, so some of those might turn into stories as well.

Stories (click for banner on all):

Independent Stories:

A Life From the Ashes:
Third Task challenge fic, centered on Ron.
Banner by whomovedmyquill.

A True Weasley
Why Percy Weasley was sorted into Gryffindor. For the Hufflepuff Back to Hogwarts Challenge.

Wicked Witches
A one-shot about Luna as a child.
For the Halloween Challenge - Halloween Explained.

***

Moments Series:

This series highlights important, pivotal moments in a characters' life.

It did not start as a series, but has taken flight in my mind, and you can't really tell those things "no", can you?

Each summary is purposefully vague, for telling you the moment ahead of time is anticlimatic, in my opinion.

Series banner by psijupiter.

Moments:
A Harry/Ginny story, a missing moment from the HBP.
Banner by lilykinslove.

Twilit Confessions:
A Ron/Hermione story, Post-Hogwarts.
Banner by Bine/luinrina.

All reviews are appreciated and cherished.
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Reviews by ahattab33
 

Summary:
HEY! Hey you! Psssstttt! You have to help us!

It’s Tim the Enchanter, our fanfiction writer – HE’S GONE MAD! We’re just trying to live normal lives at Hogwarts, but CRAZY things keep happening to us because he’s bored!

Please! Read our story and hear our plight! We need to bludgeon some sanity into our author – Oh no! HE’S AT HIS COMPUTER NOW!

NO! NOOO-aaahhhh! Must resist! Resist… Gibber narg turnip turnip wibble antidisestablishmentarianism blubber gibber wop wop bbluubbaaarrrggghhh!


Nominated for QSQ 2009, Best Humour.



Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Character Death, Mild Profanity, Violence

Word count: 25021 Chapters: 9 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/31/08 Updated: 01/22/09


Reviewer: ahattab33 Signed
Date: 12/18/08 Title: Chapter 7: Not An Intermission

Oh. Man. Hahaha, this story is great. I don't have the brilliance to leave a great sweeping revuew, but I can tell you that this story is...hmmm, great? Yes, great. :) And you have quite the imagination.

Author's Response:

Thanks for the review, and for letting me know what you think about my brain! The next exciting chapter is in the queue!

Tim the Enchanter

 

The Lions of Gryffindor by Equinox Chick
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 335]

Summary: Past Featured StoryIt is June 1976 and The Marauders are at the top of their game. From the outside they look to have everything.But appearances, as the saying goes, can be deceptive.

James is discovering that not everything in life is his for the taking. Sirius knows he will have to defy his formidable family. Remus lives in constant fear of his life beyond Hogwarts. As for Peter... Well, Peter is struggling to live up to his friends.

The ties of friendship are strong, but war is raging and with a dark power rising those ties will inevitably fray.

Added to the mix is an adversary called Severus Snape, some lost House Points, a prank or two and a whole lot of Lily.

This is a Marauder tale.

This is a story of what made them special.

This is a story of why it started to go wrong for The Lions of Gryffindor.

OH MY GOOD GODRIC! Lions of Gryffindor won the 2009 QSQ for Best Marauders' Era Story. Amazed and incredibly grateful to those who nominated, judged and have beta'd this fic. THANK YOU.

.·ˆ¯)...(¯ˆ·.
¸.·ˆˆˆ(ºvº)ˆˆˆ·.¸
m m

Trick or Treat!
3. She clicks on her mouse and swipes her wand;
Some stories go up, and some stories are gone.
Stories of her own? Why, she has plenty!
Fewer than one-hundred, but far more than twenty.



Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 110875 Chapters: 23 Completed: No
Published:
09/10/08 Updated: 04/28/12


Reviewer: ahattab33 Signed
Date: 10/06/09 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 Turning Point

So, I've been wondering why I haven't read this. Or AA, but that's for another day that I am sitting at work, being told not to do anything. (Perhaps tomorrow, bwuahaha.) And then I saw it was updated so I'm diving right in. I actually think I've read the first chapter before. *Head scratch*

Anyhoo. Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant first scene. When I saw the summary, that it was going to be a version of SWM…I was prepared for some clichs. But it was marvelous. Dare I say - awesome? You didn't focus on Lily. She left immediately. The focus was on that stuff we didn't see - that stuff Remus told Harry about later. I thought it was quite touching that Snape ran after Lily without so much as looking backwards, going so far as to leave his wand. That speaks volumes as to their relationship, and I hope its going to be explored.

I gush praises everytime I read one of your stories about your characterization, and this one is no different. Playing off the SWM scene, of course, there was the appearance of McGonagall, and her interpretation of the scene - and her attempts to read the boys, most notably in Peter which was supported by her views in PoA. Sirius was much more pent-up anger than anything, but he still defers to her. And Remus, poor Remus, lol. I loved him here, "head in his book, knuckles white."

I'm not sure how I feel about Peter…at fifteen, is he so eager to receive punishment like that? I think there would be a subtle difference between wanting to support his friends and wanting to pretend he was involved, and I’m not sure if you were showing the McGonagall was misinterpreting that or if that's what you were implying.

The appearance of Harry is what I thought made this scene so brilliant. Not only is it possible that Snape pulling Harry out of the Pensieve - or even before - might have cause him to be seen by James, or any number of reasons, but because of the fact that you explored the affect it has on James. I'll have to see as I read, obviously, but this whole scene felt like it was different for James - he felt emotions he never felt before, pity for Snape and shame for himself. He doesn't even share those thoughts with his friends.

I laughed when I read about Sirius' crush on Poppy, AND then you had him blush about it! Loved it.

During Remus' outburst, I imagined that your one-shot, "Thank you for your time, Professor," inspired his anger, even though it was written much, much later. Having an outburst at the beginning of the story seemed slightly out of place, as we weren't experience angsty!Remus at all, but Dumbledore's line: "I can’t pretend that life will ever be easy for you. In the end, though, you will do your best because that’s the very essence of the person you are." Was ridiculously good. And very teenage-like of his friends to feel embarrassed and not know what to do, rather than want to comfort him or tell him things are going to be all right.

Hmmm…I hope you are prepared for a deluge of reviews from me. :) I'm sure you won’t mind.

~Amanda

Author's Response: Thank you, Amanda. I'm glad you're enjoying it so far. I take your point with Remus and Peter ... bear in mind this was written last year and I'm not totally happy with them either. Ha ha - they've evolved so much. Remus' outburst was very much the inspiration for Thank you for your time, Professor and I hope it could be seen as a credible prologue. Lily will appear in a lot of later chapters ... and she has one or two from her POV. But she's evolving too.

Thank you again. ~Carole~

 
Reviewer: ahattab33 Signed
Date: 10/06/09 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2- Advice From The Fat Lady

Oh, the politics of the portraits of Hogwarts make me laugh. Especially when the Fat Lady claimed she wasn't "one to gossip". Right. Which the boys completely exploited, lol.

There are just little touches here and there that are delightful characterization tools. For Sirius, for example: "The dead, so revered by his mother, did not concern him." "Sirius thought it very like the atmosphere at Grimmauld Place whenever he walked into a room." We already know he is falling out with his family; he not only doesn't agree with their viewpoint, but these casual offhand remark makes it seem like he doesn't respect their beliefs either.

The entire scene with Frank Longbottom was just delightful. The dialogue was great - it made the boys sound a little like gossiping girls, but in a good way (er, don't know if that makes sense). And "Ahem, Fat Ladies present." Oh, man. They are gossiping old ladies; all three of them, standing around the portrait hole. It was such a fun scene to read, and very easy to read, as well. James and Sirius reminded me a bit of Harry and Ron, actually, as they pretended not to laugh at the Fat Ladies tales. In a good way.

I didn't know the end of the little diddy Sirius sang about Sonia. Is that a British thing? Or…something I should know about as a married woman but I'm not making the connection? :o

Hmm. "Wormy" made me cringe a little. But somehow the irony that he tried to date Alice Longbottom made me laugh and sad, at the same time. Does that make sense? He seems a bit clich in this chapter (which, depending on when this was written, you might already know. Hm.) He is in awe of their skills and they are irritable with him. But enough about Peter. It doesn't detract from the story and I won't mention him again unless it is glowing praise.

Oh, can we have of Frank? Strictly rhetorical, as I'm about to read the already published other 11 chapters or something like that. But he was wooing his woman, and then being a fairly great Head Boy it seemed, choosing to stay in the dorm with his friends, making it clear that he's already tried several times to discipline them with what authority he has…and I like that he just stared them down. Made them crack. He seems to be their friend, but also has been able to separate the authority figure out as well.

And finally…Lily. She makes her lovely debut in this chapter, as we once again get to see the other side of a scene from the HP books, and it is how I imagined the scene to be played out. Poor, poor James. I admire his self-control to just watch her all night, but I do think it's realistic that is in fact what he did. His speech to McLaggen - brilliant, and it shows a wonderful side to him that I know Lily must recognize, even under all of the aspects she doesn't like.

Onward! Why haven't I read this, I'm having a great time!

~Amanda

Author's Response: Ahh, what a quiet day at work leads to. Thank you again, Amanda. I totally agree with you about Peter, he is a bit cliched, but he does get better. However, the thing is, he wasn't quite in their league and they did get annoyed with him ... but that's no excuse ... not really.

Sirius was going to sing 'plonker' which is an English term for either an idiot, or (in this case) a ... umm ... male appendage *blush*. Hmmm, Frank ... he may turn up again ... and so may Alice. ... you shall have to wait and see (and probably read a lot more - ha ha)

Ahh, the Fat lady - yes I love her. One day I want to write a whole fic on her ... she must have a few tales to tell. Thanks again. ~Carole~

 
Reviewer: ahattab33 Signed
Date: 10/06/09 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3 - A Wand, a Boggart and a Wager.

Oh, I was so happy to see that James would have thought Peter would have come to comfort him in the bathroom. And stand up for Remus to Snape when he degrades him - valiantly. And they helped him before the exam. I don't think I'll ever be able to write a believable Peter as well as you, especially during the Maurader years, but it is always nice to see someone do it.

I feel like you really understand Sirius. There are some points where he feels too violent, too extreme - but I think its right. His upbringing, I think, showed him what he didn't want to be, but at the same time he responds similarly. His family is disrespectful towards what they don't agree with, and we see Sirius showing the same behavior, just towards those that we would tend to agree with - those with the Dark Magic, on the other side. It is just more violent and extreme that it needs to be. He is fighting them with their own brand of darkness. And due to this he's already somewhat emotionally stunted; he doesn't "do" emotion, even with his friends. He does action and jokes and pranks. And revenge.

I must say he was a tad clich, but oh so humorous to read when he was thinking about the girls physical traits. "Oh, she's got something nice…oh, but that other quality, that's too bad." Heehee.

I thought James' internal fight about Snape's wand was played out very nicely. For a second, nothing's changed, and I don't even know if Sirius realizes that things have changed. And we see that even if they thing James just has a crush on Lily, he really does like her, to almost go against his friend like that just because Snape insulted her. He made it clear in the last chapter he'll never forgive Snape for that.

They all seemed to grow up for a second watching the spell. It was a nice moment. It was an unfortunate moment, because they probably all grew up faster than they should have those last few years at Hogwarts with moments like that, with Voldemort gaining power.

"Sirius looked him straight in the eye." When I read this, I was reminded of our characterization class, and how we've been talking about body language. It's obvious here that Sirius looked at him as a gesture of truth, because it was important to James that they hadn't done anything. The same thing with James trying to laugh about Lily hating him a few paragraphs later - it is probably a forced sounding laughter, as that is obviously not a situation he finds amusing.

Remus is so noble. You are making me fan-girl Remus - stop that!

I have to say - I love love love the flashback scene. Sirius opening up about his family and teaching James to swim was so touching. And helps to solidify their friendship in ways they don't have with the other boys.

I wonder if Snape realizes he's such a person of contradictions. He loves Lily to distraction, though he doesn't realize she's the type of person he loathes. He admires Shakespeare enough to memorize and quote him, and then talks of how Shakespeare admired and lived among Muggles. And he hasn't taken responsibility for any of his own actions, so far placing all of the blame on James.

How could James resist such a challenge? Thankfully, there is no wait for me to see what happen… :D

~Amanda

Author's Response: OY! Stay away from Remus - he's mine. Thank for for complimenting me on Sirius, I do think he can be quite extreme ... and that's the main difference between him and James. About him noticing Phyllida's attributes and flaws - not sure it's that much of a cliche - don't all boys do that (and vice versa)?

Hmm, I can't do your review justice with my response, but needless to say, I am very grateful that you're reading, enjoying and reviewing. ~Carole~

 
Reviewer: ahattab33 Signed
Date: 10/06/09 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4 - The Bowtruckle Challenge

Oooh, Peter came up with the idea. "Bowtruckle." "Bless you." Heehee. But seriously, he wanted to come up with it, so he did the research, and they embraced his idea. And called him a genius. I thought the whole scene was a brilliant characterization of the Maurauders. All the way, everyone one of them. I read it twice, it made me all bubbly inside. Peter felt like an equal. He was joking with them about Sirius, and thought all the angles through, he made them drag it out of him, enjoying the spotlight, etc. They made fun of him and each other, etc. Oh, delicious goodness.

Oh, Snape. Throwing a wrench in things, eh? Was he the reason that James was hit in the face? I don't know the extent of the power of the Bowtruckle, but it seemed a little fishy to me.

And I am digging both Mary and Martha McDonald. Her smirking and making him "figure out she exists"…cheeky girl, it sounds like. And it sounds like she keeps placing herself in his path, lol.

It was beautiful that it was bittersweet for James to realize he was in love with Lily, rather than a shining, glorious moment. It felt…real. Because the poor boy thinks that she will never ever feel the same way for him, and therefore he is resigned to the way he feels, and is sad about it, rather than embracing it. His scene in the hospital was heartbreaking, but I don't expect Lily to embrace him just yet because of this one incident - her awkwardness is quite touching though, because he is obviously much more vulnerable, and she doesn't quite know what to do

I like how you interweave exposition throughout. For example, how Sirius feels about Lily - we don't really know until he is watching her in the bed, and he reflects on this. And it is important because of Sirius and James' relationship. And Lily telling her story to the boys explains how she was able to save James, and it wasn't a paragraph to us, the reader; it was woven in a much more interesting way through the dialogue.

Sirius and Madame Pompfrey make me giggle.

I'm interested to see where this story goes after this chapter…their summer holidays, separate but growing? Or does it jump? I'll find out…in a few second, lol.

~Amanda

Author's Response: Ah well, you know now what happened over summer (the glamorous Rich appeared!) Thanks for these reviews, Amanda. I remmeber at the time giggling all day. ~Carole~

 
Reviewer: ahattab33 Signed
Date: 10/06/09 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5 - An Intriguing Muggle Girl.

Oh, what a fitting song! Though, I'm sure you know this already. :) I can imagine Sirius, rebelling like this, rolling up his pants and singing the latest Muggle hit. It's such a defiant, rebellious picture. It was interesting to Sirius so out of his league with a Muggle girl, when he is usually the confident one, making people shy. It seemed that he was confused and not even very interested in anything she was doing, but found her very attractive and rebellious as well, and clung to what she was offering. It made her even more attractive.

I also liked the blushing, hesitant Sirius. Much of what he does is bluffing, reputation building. He's frequent talk - this girl just jumps right in and breaks down all of his barriers because she doesn't have any clue who he is. The contrast to lonely, rebellious Sirius to his flashback is sharp, and reminiscent of Harry at times.

The scene in Grimmauld Place was frightening, and wonderfully written. I love the relationship you've developed between the brothers. They are drifting apart but Reg still cares for him, a great deal by this scene. Influenced by the alcohol, having driven his mother so far…I can understand why Sirius ran away. I hope the Reg didn't face too much from his mother after Sirius left, and that Sirius trusted his brother to tell him where he was going.

Summer at the Potters! Yea! Though it's obviously not going to be fun and games, by the tone of this chapter, which was great to read.

~Amanda

Author's Response: Ahh, that song. I have to thank my brother in law for suggesting it. And then when I thought about it, The Boys are back in town just fitted Sirius and his ganmg so perfectly! See, I'm respoonding to reviews tonight *phew*

 
Reviewer: ahattab33 Signed
Date: 10/06/09 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6- Godric's Hollow.

Oh, man, I didn't even stop to write anything, I just swallowed this chapter right up.

Okay, I know there were some intelligent things I wanted to say, rather than, "Oh it was good!" *Goes back to read…*

Lily reacted very similar to how I would have *blush* to the Severus situation, so I empathized with her on all counts - avoiding talking about the feelings she had suspicions of, and staying inside to avoid running into him. Though, based upon how she reacted in the flashbacks we see (Confronting Snape outside the portrait hole, yelling at James, etc.), I'm not sure that she would have. I'm conflicted on how I feel about this, actually, if she would have hidden inside her house for fear of running into him. But, I don’t see anything wrong with what was written here, so…hmm. Now I'm not making any sense! Too many reviews in one day! AAH!

I just adore your dialogue. It feels so natural to read. It's the simple things: The way you mix the body language with the dialogue tags, the way you mix names with pronouns…it's all balanced so nicely. Everything just flows. And I can picture it just so nicely.

The Potters' - they are just darling. Their house is not dramatically overstated, but it is obvious James is loved dearly and taken care of. Poor Lily, she just seems swept into this situation, overwhelmed by hospitality, lol. I can imagine her sitting at the table, turning red, putting her head in her hands as James and Sirius talk about her and come bursting into the dining room. And then James! His heart probably stopped. It was wonderful! Oh Sirius indeed, hahaha. Love for this whole last scene. When you read a scene and just smile throughout and eat it all up, that's so good. And I don't even know why I liked it so much, so this isn’t even very helpful. I could just picture it, and I wanted to read the next chapter immediately.

~Amanda

Author's Response: Thank you, Amanda, for this review (I have been most tardy in replying). I had a fair bit of criticism over this one because apparently Old People aren't interesting. Hmm, but they do exist - and VV - the mod loved them so we're in good company. I also loved Sirius at this point because he's just so very tactless - a total teenage boy - LOL. Thaks again ~Carole~

 
Reviewer: ahattab33 Signed
Date: 10/06/09 Title: Chapter 7: Chapter 7 - Treacle Tart and Quidditch.

I'm falling into a pattern: I reach the end of the chapter before I realize it.

Gushing praise is all I've got for this. I just love the interaction between these people. Sirius and Martha are just cute as buttons. James' father is devilishly charming. Mary is quite an enigma, and her line of “And that,” Lily thought she heard Mary whisper to Sirius, “is the body language you should be looking out for, Mr Black!” made me smirk. Poor Lily seems like she's starting to get confused by her feelings for James, and James seems to be getting bitter by his own feelings. He wants so very badly to have her understand him, or to not be in love with her, but as they keep lashing out at each other as old habits die hard, the bitterness is there, and it is confusing her even more.

Hm, that's not even a review, that's more of an interpretation of your characters thus far, lol. I don't really have anything else to add that I didn't say in the last chapter about your extraordinary ability to make the scene just flow so naturally. As this chapter was dialogue intensive, it would apply in an even bigger way here. I could picture the scene effortlessly; I didn't get hung up on what was happening or where they were or anything; it all made sense and just flowed. I didn't want to stop reading, and I really can't wait to see more of Lily and James sort out their feelings. I'm glad they are developing slowly like this. I think meeting his parents did a great deal in that development, as well as hearing her friends scoff of her opinion.

The information about James and Lily's first encounter in Charms, and how Snape twisted against James, was very telling about all three characters. I think that moment, above all, shocked her into changing her way of thinking. It helped shaped her thinking of James from the very start, and as she herself thought, why hasn't she thought these things about Sirius or Remus? Why always James? She knows there's always been something about him, but instead of negative, her thoughts are now confused and slowly turning positive. It's deliciously good reading.

~Amanda

Author's Response: Ahhh, what a lovely review, and I never responded. I'm so slack. Thank you very much for this, Amanda. I had this chapter in mind for a long time, so I'm pleased it worked for you. ~Carole (who will update fairly soon)~

 
Reviewer: ahattab33 Signed
Date: 10/06/09 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 8 - Slythy Fen.

I love that her friends almost completely ignored what she said and latched onto what they wanted to hear from it, lol. And that she chucked a biscuit at them. It made me giggle.

I don’t blame Mary for being skeptical, as Rich does sound a little too good to be true, but he also sounds quite dreamy, lol. I don't know what girl wouldn't be a little infatuated, with the nickname and the note and the literal sweeping-of-the-feet.

I thought the scene between Lily and Peter was quite touching; her understanding of his role among the friends was a kind of sad foreshadowing when you know what is to come later. Peter is also going through his own development, no longer wanting to be pitied as such anymore.

Oh, the irony of having her own named Snitch. I just can't wait for James' reaction.

But Snape's reaction…was predictable but still sad. It seemed she didn't mean to say it's name, because she knew how he would react as well. That whole scene by the river was really good, because not only was it written nicely, it accomplished several things. We get to see more progression into their relationship and its severing, but we also see Lily taking further steps into her reconciliation with James, steps she doesn't seem to realize until she says them outloud to Snape. Calling him James, for example, or being defensive about her relationship with him - those are things that wouldn't have happened in the past. The fact that she understood what Snape was doing but wouldn't back down on her convictions - it did make me feel a little sorry for Snape, but at the same time, her revelation that he care more about his friends feeling than hers, someone he's known so much longer, was important in her determination not to give in to him, I think. And you illustrated all of this quite well.

~Amanda

Author's Response: There are so many of your reviews that I never responded to. Ha, I rememeber this day, you reviewed my entire fic ... *sigh*. I love how in your reviews you managed to pick out all the bits I wanted to get picked out. Hope this is a lucid response as I really am grateful for your thoughts ~Carole~

 
Reviewer: ahattab33 Signed
Date: 10/06/09 Title: Chapter 9: Chapter 9 Journeys to King's Cross

Oh my, I'm already on Chapter 9! *giggle* I hope I'm not overwhelming you with all of these reviews. :)

The format of this chapter was a great way to juxtapose the differences in the four boys' lives, as well as to show just how much of a sanctuary Hogwarts is for them. I thought the scene with Peter was the most enlightening; his mother obviously loves him very much, but he sees her getting manipulated and fawning over someone he doesn't think is worthy of her, and it bothers him deeply. It is ironic that this is his mothers' position, given his own position in his group of friends, and probably the reason why any pity directed his way bothers him so much.

James' home life is not as picture perfect as it seems, and it adds more depth to Sirius' character that he notices things that James does not. James might have built up this perfect life in his mind, and maybe even if he knows something is wrong with his mother, he's denying it to himself.

Remus just has pressure from all sides telling him how he won't be able to function as a normal person because of his problem. I bet he is so ridiculously thankful for his friends, who are barely concerned that he's a werewolf; its something they joke about, something they unfailing support him every week, something they don't think twice about anymore. It's completely in the background in their eyes, and they don’t see him as any different. He's the lucky one with the girl, now! But the teachers and the parents (aside from Dumbledore) as dogging him down, and he's fighting against it. Imagining his parents like this makes it no wonder that he clicked so well with Harry when Harry doesn't understand why being a werewolf would hold him back for any reason.

I wonder if Lily is noticing the shift from "Potter" to "James" as much as everyone else is. And I don't think we've seen the last of Mr. Mysterious Handsome Rich…

~Amanda

Author's Response: I b29; you, Amanda. That's an inadequate and way over due response you your wonderful reviews, but I'm bad at playing catchup. Thanks again ~Carole~

 
Reviewer: ahattab33 Signed
Date: 10/06/09 Title: Chapter 10: Chapter 10 Caught in the Crossfire

Sonia was acting very strange, though we haven't had a chance to get to know her character very well, so it might not be very strange for her at all. Maybe I'm reading too much into her reaction, but I'll be keeping my eye on her. I guess we'll see what happens in more detail when Phyll gets back.

The scene on the train was so sad in many ways. Once again they are being forced to grow up - friends and family confronting each other in painful and harsh ways that sixteen year olds shouldn't have to experience. I think Severus is reaching the point of delusion (which I always thought he was in the books, I feel like he was friends with Lily for so long and he never really knew who she was) by thinking that she would be his friend for the things that he did rather than who he was. He is so blinded by what he believes and by his influences that he can't understand why she doesn't feel the same.

The scene between James and Snape outside McGonagall's office was the icing on the cake - for James - and the final lid on the coffin - for Snape. It was so subtly and nicely played out. Lily says what she's knows will hurt Snape, but she doesn't really give James any overt ideas either; James was so mature, here, though Lily didn't see him being the bigger man and only subtly rubbing it in.

The difference in Regulus from the last time we've seen him is alarming and sad. I was surprised at Sirius' apparent shrug-off of it, as he seemed quite close to his brother, but that might also be because, well, he's Sirius. He doesn't seem to be the type to wear his emotions on his sleeve other than anger and other bold emotions; no vulnerability. I hope we see something of this later, as, while I think he was honest in saying that he really didn't care if his family wrote him off, I think he would care if his brother stopped caring for him and suddenly went off the deep end, especially if he thinks his leaving might have in any way instigated that.

I haven't commented on this yet, but I like that you've started the development of the War reaching Hogwarts and Lily and James' relationship in year six. It allows them to form a friendship rather than a too quick jump into a relationship from hate to love. They are becoming affected by the war around them as well now, and I'm interested to see how that unfolds.

~Amanda

Author's Response: Hmmm, Sonia ... strange ... poor girl. She's just a bit teenagey I think. And we all know what they can be like. Umm, I'm responding to this one straight away (and with no real depth) because I wanted to let you know that Sirius hasn't just dismissed Regulus ... it does come up a bit later in the fic ... Umm - Family ties, I think.

I really do appreciate all these reviews - it's nice to see your thought process as to how the characters have evolved. Now, I have to find a spare day to reply - hee hee. ~Carole~

 
Reviewer: ahattab33 Signed
Date: 10/06/09 Title: Chapter 11: Chapter 11 - Potent Potions

Oh, I forgot to comment about Fabian Prewett in the last chapter! Here is my analysis before I read chapter 11 - he is definitely more like the twins. Okay, that's my prediction before I read, I actually have work now but I want to finish these chapters! But I see that I won't be able to find out until at least the next chapter…

I like the relationship you've developed between James and Sirius. Sirius has a maturity to him that you don't always see in MWPP stories; he has been defying his family from a very early age to know that, before he even makes it to Hogwarts, just from something inside him, that what his family is telling him is wrong. I foresee a meeting between Regulus and Sirius that doesn't go very well…and a guilt-stricken Sirius. Poor Sirius lives with so much guilt in Azkaban, it is a wonder he is as normal as he is during OOTP and GOF.

Oh, the Amortentia potion. Poor moony James at least realizes he smells Lily, unlike his dotty son years later. And moonstruck bookworm Remus, worrying about what he smells! It was rather cute, actually, that he was worried she'd be made that he didn't smell her like she might hope.

And that American? Poor James, now he's becoming a distraction! I wonder what happens if you only smell one thing…she is definitely infatuated with this man, and I wonder what else she smelled besides the coffee.

~Amanda

Author's Response: Oh, Amanda, another of your lovely reviews that I never responded to. I don't think Sirius is ever really back to normal - certainly in OOTP he's referred to as smelling strongly of Firewhisky *sigh*. I think there's always something dark about Mr Black - even before Azkaban. The American ... now then .. he will shortly be returning. I know I've said that a lot ... but I promise - he'll be there. Thanks again ~Carole~

 
Reviewer: ahattab33 Signed
Date: 10/06/09 Title: Chapter 12: Chapter 12 - Family Ties

Hm. Mr. Prewett seems to be a little mix of Percy and the twins, though leaning much more towards Percy. He let the Sirius and Snape duel go a little too far, I think, but probably broke the rules by telling Sirius about what happened. I can't decide whether I like him or not at this point, because I think he had figured out what was going on, but for some reason let it happen anyway. He at least should have caught Sirius from bashing his head!

It was obvious Snape was looking for revenge from the SWM scene, though Sirius' reaction must have made him just as angry, as he took in stride. It made me smile when Snape gave his answer (and Fabian gave his reply) because it echoes Hermione's reply to the same question years later. Snape is scornful then, and therefore this scene would make him hypocritical.

Lily and James discussion of sneaking into the boys/girls dormitories is another lovely development in their relationship. Having her casually mention she'd stolen all of his chocolate frogs probably made him love her all the more, and his respect go up for her; when his friends find out, they will no doubt respect her more. I think he integrated the MWPP insights extremely well, because there was no palpable shift in her character at this point, but just a nice development of their relationship that is now being enhanced.

REMUS!!! Oh, Remus. Please, tell her. She is a smart girl, and as your friends have already figured out, she'll probably figure it out on her own if you wait to long. And that would be much worse. She's already probably thinking bad things about you, and will have an attitude similar to your friends - she sees the way they treat you, and they've known for a while. She's a smart girl, Remus. Do the right thing.

~Amanda

Author's Response: Amanda, I never replied to your lovely review ... I'm sorry. I'm glad you picked up on Snape and Hermione's similar answers - yeah, he's a hypocrite but also I think he had mugged up from the textbook so knew exactly what Hermione had been doing. Don't write off Fabian yet ... that's all I'll say. Remus should tell her, shouldn't he - ridiculous boy!

 
Reviewer: ahattab33 Signed
Date: 10/06/09 Title: Chapter 13: Chapter 13 The Full Moon

*Sigh* There will be no AA today. I've reached the end of this story and someone gave me real work to do. :(

But, now I will be awaiting updates with everyone else.

Oh, what a scene with his transformation. I found myself thinking, "Oh, please tell her. You deserve someone to hold you and to turn to." He's got his friends, but he needs a woman. Someone like Mary! Ack, boys can be so dumb. And the transformation itself was brief but so intense - to imagine that he goes through that month after month is a powerful thing.

I imagine Peter must be so frustrated; he repeatedly warns them of the danger of going into the woods; they don't listen. Turns out he's right, and even though he doesn't go "I told you so!" they don't even acknowledge he had tried to warn them. They are light-hearted, and when he tried to bring them back down to earth, they focus for about five seconds.

I have no idea what Sirius pulls out of his robes at the end - are we supposed to know from the French, or is it a great mystery for the next chapter? And now we have a mysterious figure to add to the drama! All of this I now have to wait for. *Sob*

~Amanda

Author's Response: Oh, no, it's the mystery man's wand. He snatched it out of the man's hand when he was a dog. "Cherchez le sourciere!" actually means "Find the wizard (or sourcerer) in French. It's Sirius trying to be sophisticated - ha ha. Thank you for all 13 reviews today, Amanda. They've been amazing ~Carole~

 

Just For Fun by PeaceLovePotter
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 55]

Summary:

When most of your teenage years are spent defeating dark wizards, or saving loved ones there’s not a lot of time to party. But if you’re Ginny Weasley there’s always a way, or a scheming plan. So for one glorious night, Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny are breaking all the rules. Beware this story includes best friends, crazy clubs, deserted beaches, margaritas, a horny hotel clerk, confused feelings and massive amounts of wild, outrageous fun!

This is my take on what should have happened between the summer before Harry’s (nonexistent) seventh year. It takes place on couple of nights before the wedding. So there is some AU, obviously being that they didn’t go out partying before Bill and Fleur’s wedding. But otherwise it flows with the series.



Categories: Ron/Hermione AND Harry/Ginny Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Sexual Situations

Word count: 12752 Chapters: 4 Completed: No
Published:
10/09/08 Updated: 02/23/09


Reviewer: ahattab33 Signed
Date: 11/04/08 Title: Chapter 2: Meet Hermione, the Jealous Guy's Fianc

Although the concept is pretty unrealistic, I enjoy reading these kinds of stories...I like seeing these four have fun, interact, drama, romance! Bring on the next chapter!

Author's Response: I know that Mrs.Weasley would NEVER let her children, Harry and Hermione go out during a war. I just wanted them to have fun. Thank you for the review!

 

Here's to The Death of My Heart by CrystalM
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: Companion to Torn Between Ice and Emeralds. You don't have to have read it to understand, but having a background story will make some things in this one-shot make more sense.

It's close to Christmas time, and Harry, Ron, and Hermione have been hunting Horcruxes since Dumbledore’s death. Through a glimpse into Voldemort’s mind, Harry finds out that Voldemort intends to pay Hogwarts a visit. The trio attempt to head him off, but while there, Harry anxiously arranges a meeting with Ginny by the lake in hopes of letting her know that she still owns his heart. He will soon find out that another has stolen her love in his absence.

Excerpt:
I stared deeply into her russet eyes, willing my Ginny to come back to me. I could see in the tears now rolling down her cheeks that there was something on the tip of her tongue, something that would ruin me.

“I love him, Harry.”


Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded, Mild Profanity

Word count: 3969 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
10/22/08 Updated: 11/09/08


Reviewer: ahattab33 Signed
Date: 11/09/08 Title: Chapter 1: Here's to The Death of My Heart

Yea! I was glad you came through and wrote this! Poor Harry again...are you thinking about writing a sequel? Maybe Harry could be happy in the future...

Can I make a suggestion? I only read this because it was a one-shot that sounded interesting and none of the other stories I'm reading had updated, but then only after I clicked on it did it show that it was the companion piece to "Torn Between". You should put that in the summary so that those readers will know, 'cause it really doesn't make sense without it. Thanks again!

Author's Response: :-) I'm happy that you were watching for it! Once someone suggested the idea, I knew I had to write it. I am thinking about a sequel; I'm actually mapping it out right now. Not sure where to go with it, but it of course has to have more angst and heartache, or it just wouldn't be me! I'd really like to give Harry a happy ending, I've put him through a lot, but we'll see where the story goes. It'll take me some time. Thank you for the encouragement! Thank you very much for the suggestion. I've updated my summary; hopefully it'll be more informative! :-)

 

Summary: Sometimes happiness takes more courage than we realize, but it should be worth it in the end, right? In this heart wrenching tale we will really see if Hermione Granger is brave enough to pursue her true happiness. After all, she helped take down Voldemort, this couldn't be much harder, right?

Wrong.

"Hermione, you shouldn't cry in public."

"But no one is here...."

That truth made her senses overwhelm with the grief, the cruelty, of losing him, of him slipping away so easily between her fingers. One after another, un-beautified, loud, painful sobs emitted from her lips, coming from low in her throat and projecting her agony across the area. She stumbled blindly, as if in a drunken stupor, towards the grave, falling down before it and grazing her hands as they caught on the grave stone, clinging to it. She scooted herself closer to it, wrapping her arms around it and holding the cold, icy, cement to her chest, as if her heat would make the body beneath her warm and be well once more.

She had never lost so much in her life as she had done in the last year, losing her dignity, her husband, her love, her happiness, her friends, the support of her family. All had slipped away, everything had gone so wrong, and because of her own actions, which she could have prevented if she had only been brave. She had been a Gryffindor in school, but as cowardly as a Slytherin in affairs of the heart. She thought upon the night that had changed her life forever, the night she knew she would never again be the happily married woman she so naively thought she was. The night that she had finally recognized what lay beneath the surface of exterior and into his soul. The night that Hermione Granger, a world recognized author, acquired the plot for what would be one of the bestselling books of the times.

Categories: Hermione/Draco Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Suicide

Word count: 2848 Chapters: 2 Completed: No
Published:
11/11/08 Updated: 11/15/08


Reviewer: ahattab33 Signed
Date: 11/16/08 Title: Chapter 2: Breakfast Arguments

Your writing is great, I like the style, and the fact that it is going to fit into the universe at it exists...I can't wait for the next chapter! Ron and Hermione seemed slightly OOC at first...they were really pretty mean to each other! While bickering has always been a part of their relationship, purposefully hurting each other necessarily hasn't been. Marriage, however, can do things to people and pride can get in the way...I hope there is more interaction between Ron and Hermione before the story progresses to the other pairing, which I don't really support, but is so much fun to read about :).

Author's Response: Thanks! The strain of marriage has turned them into a bit meaner characters than where we left off in the books. A lot more is yet to come before any real interaction between Draco and Hermione occurs. Thank you for taking time to read when you don't like Hermione/Draco!

 

What Is To Happen by luinrina
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 9]

Summary: Isla Black comes home and finds her brother dead. He died mysteriously, and no one knows who the murderer could be. Isla is forced to solve many riddles to find the person. But what was the motive? Why was Phineas Nigellus Black murdered?

Follow Isla on her quest, and be prepared for something one would not expect.

~*~


What Is To Happen ties into my chaptered story Shining Through Blackness but can be read alone.



I am luinrina of Hufflepuff, and this is my story for the seventh round of the Gauntlet.



Categories: Mystery Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 9974 Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/24/08 Updated: 11/30/08


Reviewer: ahattab33 Signed
Date: 06/20/09 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter One - Shards of Shattered Souls

This story is beautiful and dark...the language is lovely. You write this time period (I read in the other review, mid 1800s?) very well...properly speaking, rich, noble woman. It's delightfully romantic. :) And this tale is very mysterious while allowing us to see the development of Isla.

"Elle? What is it?’ I questioned, my voice worried something bad had happened, and sat up, throwing off the blanket. My sister usually did not get upset; she stood above such mundane things. But once and again when the rarity of her being upset did happen, we had to be careful because in this case something really bad had occurred." // This paragraph seemed odd to me...perhaps she is not fully remembering what happened after seeing her brother's body? But I would think that "What is it?" wouldn't be the question that is asked after such an incident. Maybe more like, "What happened?" Her sister's response is appropriate though. :)

"The first problem I had to solve was my relation to Bob. I liked him, I really truly did, but was liking him enough to risk the safety being a Black meant? Did I want to get thrown out when they learned about me meeting and talking to a Muggle-born?" // This also seems strange--the first problem to think about after her brother's murder? I know it says in the next paragraph that the "bigger" concern was her brother. These were simply my first throughts upon my first read-through.

"they prickled like I was stabbed with thousands of small needles" // Good description...I hate when that happens!

"I gulped and slowly made one, then two steps towards the centre of the market, not knowing why I did not just turn back and made my way out of there as quickly as possible." // I believe it should be "...make my way out of there" rather than "made".

"But I could get out of the way just in time and stayed unhurt." // This sentence is somewhat ackward...maybe it could be phrased "But I could get of the way just in time and stay unhurt."

I have not read "Shining Through Blackness", so maybe the reference to the man at the end and the importance of Bob are not quite as mysterious to those readers? The remaining two chapters are posted, so I will go check them out!

Author's Response: Thank you for reviewing and the compliments. I'll look into your comments closer as soon as I have a spare moment. Thanks for reading.

 
Reviewer: ahattab33 Signed
Date: 06/20/09 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter Two - Maze of Missing Memories

"Of course, Father was not happy with me when I lost my composure and hurt any of my siblings." For some reason, this sentence made me laugh out loud.

I was confused about 3/4 of the way through whether I was reading flash forwards or flash backs of the italicised portions...but I figured it out by the end, obviously. :)

This is still very mysterious! :)

Author's Response: Haha, that was my intention, to keep it mysterious. As a matter of fact, the whole writing process seems like a mystery to me now. I can't really remember how I managed to get the story to look like it does today. It's all a mere blur nowadays. lol

 

Summary: Past Featured Story

Seventh grader Alexandra Quick returns to Charmbridge Academy. This year she faces bullies from another wizarding school, a secret Dark Arts club, and the machinations of her father, but her greatest trial yet awaits her in the dangerous Lands Below.

This is the second book in the Alexandra Quick series.



Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Mild Profanity, Violence

Word count: 235074 Chapters: 37 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/26/08 Updated: 06/03/09


Reviewer: ahattab33 Signed
Date: 03/30/09 Title: Chapter 22: Thirteen

Awww, her friends were so sweet to her for her birthday! I'm still of two minds of whether or not she should start talking with her father...he is probably not quite as horrible as everyone makes him out to be, but he is also probably manipulative and cunning and all those things she should be careful of. Though Alex is not usually the kind of person to fall for that. I do hope she is able to visit with Max, I adore their relationship. I really hope he is all he seems to be, though with how Journey turned out, I'm not taking anyone at face value for a long while, lol!

I feel like I should go back and read the Thorn Circle for possible clues to Darla's behavior. At random times during the day, I find myself thinking about it, like, "Where did I miss something?" But hopefully all questions will be answered soon, as we're nearing the last third of this part of Alex's story....can't wait for the next chapter!

 
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