Hmm...what do YOU want to know?
I'm pretty much a Malfoy fanatic. I got started in fan fic when my lil' sister started writing. That's how I found this site, actually.
Some things about me:
-spicy crunch salmon roll is my favorite food in the world.
-I could eat soybeans everyday for the rest of my life.
-I'm an up and coming opera star (yeah, in my dreams) but, I love to sing regardless, so I deserve my dreams! :p
-I have read Jeannette Walls' The Glass Castle 19 times.
If you have any questions, comments, concerns, and the like, drop me a note.
Then we can talk. :p Catch ya'lls later.
You should think about putting thoughts into italics...would make it easier to read. The comment about Dumbledore being drunk in the first chap was funny. It's a cute fic, but it's moving kinda fast...
This chapter made my eyes tear up. And the writing is amazing. (on a side note, I don't think Harry would ever tell Hermione to bring Draco along to anything...but it's your story.. ;) ) My favorite line was the one where Hermione thought that maybe Draco got to her because he was the only thing she couldn't understand. Loved it.
I don't get the connection either... guess I don't win the prize. :/ But good chapter. I was dying to find out what Draco had given her.
Okay, this is very well written. The only thing I wanted to point out was the name change. Draco called himself Ethan...then at the end, he was Sam? Just wondering, because it confused me a little.
Author's Response: Hahaha I was wondering when someone would catch onto this. Err, I had originally named Draco's character "Sam" but then decided "Ethan" fit him better. Unfortunately, I didn't replace all of the "Sam"s. Bad me. I just edited it, thanks for reminding me.
Again, well written. This story has that something that makes it stand apart from other D/Hr fics. It doesn't rush, and it's as beleiveable as you can get when it comes to this kind of fiction. I feel so bad for Draco though. No friends...no presents... :( Good job so far.
The spacing at the beginning of the story is akward...but it's cute anyhow. Do dentists work nighshift? ;) Just kidding.
Summary: After recovering from a fever, Hermione starts to collapse at odd momments. Madame Pomfrey says it could be a side effect and Hermione starts taking vitamin potions. When Draco Malfoy is 'too sick' to patrol with Hermione something happens. So what is going on?
It's very different...makes me want to know what's going to happen.
Author's Response: It's supposed to but I'm glad it worked.
Again, a beautiful description between mother and son...especially with the bug kiss...that was so sweet.
The only crit I have for you is at the end of Dumbledore's letter the period after his name is akward in my opinion. Other than that, it's great. I can't wait to read more. :)
Author's Response: Thank you, Link! I hope you come back to review. I've been meaning to get back and review your story, lol. And I will check out that period, see if it looks odd to me as well. :)
This was so beautiful. I mean, I knew what was going to happen, and I kept hoping that you changed it somehow and let them live. I was on the edge of my seat with anticipation...you have real talent. I look forward to reading your next story.
Author's Response: Thank you Mag! I look forward to hearing from you! :)
What a delicious blending of drama, action, adventure, sadness and love. Absolutely wonderful. I loved this chapter. I loved the young Lily and James and how their love came to be. I loved especially mother and son at the end of this chapter. The story reading brought tears to my eyes.
Good job. It was heartwrenching.
Author's Response: Wow Link, you're reading all of them! Thank you! I think I'm up to chapter seven of your story. I need to review! :)
This was a great chapter! Wow..your description of baby Harry is so sweet..and Lily's love for him is beautifully written...right down to how she feels when he is crying in her arms. I so feel for Lily in this story, as she's worried about what's going to happen and her feelings for both James and Harry. For two characters that had very few appearances in the books, you flesh them out very well.
The whole Voldemort thing caught me by suprise...it was sudden, and very strange, but creative.
Author's Response: Thanks for your review! I'm glad you liked how I portay Lily and James. The nice thing about them having small roles in the HP books is that it gives me a little bit of writer's license. Thanks for reading and I hope you read on. :)
Good start. Not sure if the floo network works in the muggle world, but...hey, it's fanfiction, right?
I liked this chapter. The exchange between Rookwood and Draco especially. The fact that Draco is being forced into taking care of Hermione and his desire to help her towards the end of the chapter was very well done. Good job.
Author's Response: :D thanks!!
Glad to see you back in action. :)
Okay....good chapter...I always like when Draco thinks about things...and the way you described his feelings for Crabbe and Goyle was hilarious. I, for one, don't understand why Hermione would be so angry, but I do think that she is capbable of anger if the situation arises. I also loved how you described time stopping when she and Draco locked eyes. Very effective. I would have liked to read more about Hermione's emotions about her parent's death though...you kind of just let that go after the last chapter...I can't wait to find out what happens...good cliffhanger! Nicely done.
Now to the nitpicking.... the spelling of imminent was wrong. You have an "a" instead of "e". Also, here..."But no one talked to him, let alone blame him.. "...blame should be blamed.
Here, "He considered himself lucky that she had been so completely befuddled by the coma-after-affects that she couldn’t recognize him."...I think that 'couldn't recognize' should be 'hadn't recognized'. Since you're talking about the past-I assume-it just flows better that way, in my opinion. The setence following that one should also be written in past tense.
This..."Harry joined Ron, Ginny, and herself "...is slightly confusing...Hermione would work much better. These things are small, and I only mention them because I do a lot of editing in school and such, so it's just a habit. They don't take away from the story, but might make it flow better.
Author's Response: your nit-picking is much appreciated, it helps to improve my fic! and there will be more on hr parental death again in the next chapter (i know it jumps around a bit but thats just the way it came out as i wrote) and hr anger is explained aswell, and im very glad u liked the time-stopping stuff :) SO thx for reviewing as always link and now im off the fix my...nits? lol
The description as Hermione comes of her coma was done well. The twist at the end was also unexpected. Good job. I assume the Aurors have come to find Hermione. I can't imagine that they would resort to such violence when it comes to the Death Eaters...but...then again, maybe so if given a chance.
Anyway, good job! Glad you updated.
Author's Response: The reason for the raid is explained in chap 5 so for now ill just say...ull find out in chap 5:P!! lol always glad for ur thought Link, and thx for the positive review!!
Ah, lovely. Glad to see that you've updated once again...and a good chapter. I especially loved the fact that you wrote this from both of their perspectives. I wonder though why Hermione feels such hate for Draco, although he really wasn't directly to blame for the death of her parents, as well as the fact that he is the one that brought her back to the "land of the living." I look forward to more.
Well, you've got me because of that cliff hanger...it's a good story so far. I could see Draco hating Voldemort, but definately not being afraid of him. I think that he's been taught that Voldemort's way is the right way, so he would be quick to join the ranks. Anyway, just some random thoughts. Looking forward to your next installment.
Author's Response: i greatly appreciate ur thoughts and ill just say that the reason why Draco hasnt joined the death eaters is revealed in later chapters. glad ur looking forward to the next chapter and feel free to continue sharing ur thoughts
What do I think? I wouldn't be still reading if I didn't like it. :) Well written, as always. I don't know if Dumbledore would CRY over Hermione's parents' death...when I first read that I thought you might have killed off Ginny or Neville or someone like that...but anyway...It's very interesting how Hermione deals with her grief...your writing here is strong, and I've never thought about blaming her friendship with Harry for bad things happening, although I guess it's possible.
I feel so bad for her in this chapter...and I'm curious to see about that revenge. If she blames herself, who could she target to avenge her parent's death?
A few things by way of grammar/punctuation... In this sentence, “‘Hermione, I’m sorry. Your parents we’re killed,’” we're should be were. And then, in this sentence, "It was like a automatic defense system had activated, trying to block out pain.", it should be 'an' instead of 'a'. Also, the word 'crap' is slightly Americanized and doesn't quite fit right in the flow of your other words. These things aren't huge, and they certainly don't take away from the story, but I thought I'd point them out anyhow.
Good job...will be waiting for the next installment. :)
Author's Response: well i just fixed those grammatical errors and changed crap to shit(im canadian, so some american words kind of sneak in now and then despite my best attempts to keep it british-ish), and thank you very much for informing me of those errors--about Dumbledore crying: i thought that that would be a dumbledore-ish reaction because he feels sorry for hermione, but perhaps he wouldnt cry, w/e lol and hermione blaming her friendship with harry is purely from stress and overflowing emotions SO thx again for informing me of the grammar mistakes, always enjoy ur feedback :D
Your descriptive writing was well done. Especially since this chapter had hardly any dialogue. I loved the line towards the end that went (something) like, 'his eyes didn't show kindness so much as they promised that everything would be all right'. I think this was perfect, because Draco Malfoy usually doesn't show kindess to anyone. I think he could, but it would take time. So many authors rush to make Draco feel compassion and kindess towards whomever they are pairing him with, but even though he might feel that, I don't think he would show it right away.
Good job! I look forward to more.
Author's Response: i agree completely that many authours rush draco's...ummm...path to kindness shall we say, and i was almost one of them; infact i almost put "there was kindness in his eyes" but when reading it over thought that didnt sound very dracoish at all...annnnnyhoo glad u liked the descriptive chapter and mucho gracias for reviewing
This is truly a well written story. It makes the reader want to continue, which I will. ;) I like that you started it pre-Harry at Hogwarts, and I like the way you write Snape.
Maybe it moved to quickly in the prologue, but that's okay. What does "Susan Jones did not exist," mean?
Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: You are very kind. Thank you for the compliment! My goal is not to involve Harry and the plot of The Philosopher's Stone, but not to deviate either. I know the prologue is short, but it is only meant to tease and give a brief set up for the story. What does "Susan Jones did not exist," mean? If I told you that, I would be giving away plot points. Please stay tuned to find out...