Penname: Cirelondiel [Contact]
Real name: Chelsea
Member Since: 04/14/06
Website:
Beta-reader: Yes
Status: Member
Bio:

Hello! I'm Chelsea. The range of fanfiction genres I read and write is ever-expanding, and if I stop procrastinating there should be a fair few stories on this page soon. In the meantime, why not check out my favourites lists to find some excellent stories and authors?

I'm a canon shipper, and I also love rarepairs. Minor characters are my favourites to write! I'm addicted to second person POV, and I can't write plots to save my life.

You can find me on the Beta Boards under the same username - I'm not around much these days but if you drop me a PM I will respond. And if you read my fics, I'd be ever so grateful if you let me know what you think - reviews are love :)

One-shots

The Broom Cupboard - Fred/you. An angsty sort of romance, and probably the writing I'm most proud of :)

Chocolate Cheesecake - Sirius/Marlene. Again, a romance set in dark and difficult times, but this time with dessert.

Etched in Gold - Cedric/Katie. Short and sweet with that dash of impending doom that I seem to like to add >.<

Chaptered Fics

The Murder of Scorpius Malfoy - written for the Gauntlet, late 2008. I may or may not complete this someday. =/

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Reviews by Cirelondiel
 

Summary:

Laura has been a good friend to Percy for seven years. She took his side during a fight between Percy and Oliver their second year. She accepted Percy the way he was, something most of his brothers couldn't even do. And when the one brother who did understand Percy died, Laura was there to help Percy through it, even though the death hurt her greatly as well.



Yes, Laura has been a good friend to Percy. So why, during their seventh year, is Percy allowing his friend to be lonely and miserable?



A fellow Gryffindor decides to try to ease Laura's loneliness by interfering in her life. The result is that Laura must suddenly deal with new relationships, including an unlikely reconciliation with Oliver.



Laura succeeded in being a good friend when she only had one friend. Now she must learn how to be a good friend to several people... including herself. Oliver/OC

Complete!

"Thy friendship oft has made my heart to ache; do be my enemy - for friendship's sake." -William Blake



Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 142992 Chapters: 22 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/21/05 Updated: 01/21/07


Reviewer: Cirelondiel Signed
Date: 11/07/07 Title: Chapter 1: Loneliness and Sympathy

Congrats on the QSQ!

Wow... the dialogue and characters are totally believable, I can really relate to them, well done! They seem completely natural, their behaviour is just like that of my friends.

I have to admit, the 'other Weasley brother' thing put me off a bit - I *almost* rolled my eyes and left the fic, but you know what, the quality of your writing and the intrigue you created kept me reading. I have to commend you for that!

Well, I'm looking forward to reading on... so see you in the reviews for later chapters!!

~ Chelsea :-)

Author's Response: Haha...I\'m glad you only almost rolled your eyes and left the fic. I\'ll be the first to admit that Dan Weasley is hopefully the least-canon aspect of the story. Until the end, which was made non-canon by Deathly Hallows. Maybe someday I\'ll go back and rewrite parts of the last few chapters so that it\'s canon-compliant.

Thanks very much for reading and reviewing. Hope you like the rest of the fic.

 
Reviewer: Cirelondiel Signed
Date: 11/08/07 Title: Chapter 3: Rows and Reconciliations

"You weren't there after you left last night." "No kidding? There's a profound statement."
Love that line :-) I also thought the dialogue between Percy and Laura at the end of the chapter was really good. It's good to see that you're making Percy... human. Talking about his girlfriend, having a little bit of humour, stuff like that. All too often he's a completely boring character. Good job :-D

Lots of dialogue again. Once again, I have to comment on how natural it sounds and how it really helps to move the plot along at this point. It's good that you've used that instead of lots of boring past tense from Laura's mind. I do find, though, that when you have them talking for a long time without saying who is saying what, I get a bit lost. Throwing a few 'I said', 'he exclaimed', 'she cried' or whatever in there wouldn't hurt.

But overall, good chapter again :-)

~ Chelsea

Author's Response: I agree that there are points in this story when it would make things easier on readers if I threw in more \"I said\" \"he said\"s. It just seemed so obvious to me which person is talking when I was writing the dialogue. ;-)\r\n\r\nThanks for the review.

 
Reviewer: Cirelondiel Signed
Date: 11/07/07 Title: Chapter 2: The Truth is but a Vision

Wow, this story's moving fast! I feel like I know so much about the characters already and it's only the second chapter. The chapters are long, but they're not boring , which is great.

This was a very dialogue-heavy chapter, so I'm hoping to see a bit more narrative in the next chapters to balance things out. Of course, in this case, dialogue was definitely the best way to fill the readers in on the conflict and show how the characters interact. And, once again, your dialogue was written very naturally, great job!

And now, onto chapter 3!

~ Chelsea

Author's Response: The story is very much driven by dialogue--especially the beginning. More narrative will start creeping into the story, but you might have to wait a few more chapters. :-)

Thanks for leaving reviews as you read. It\'s fun getting reviews for the beginning of the fic.

 
Reviewer: Cirelondiel Signed
Date: 11/22/07 Title: Chapter 4: Fears of Fate

Great chapter again. I really liked the idea of the mirror shop - sounds like a place I'd love.

A couple of typos to point out:
"No. You don't hate me anyone and want to be friends, right?"
Should be anymore not anyone.

"He breath smelled heavily of chocolate."
His breath, not he breath.

"We though we were going to be late," Wood said, nicely.
We thought, not we though.

It's so nice that you're showing that Hagrid is friends with other students around the school. You portray him as a good mentor and someone who's very... solid in Laura's life, it seems to me. He always there for support.

Good job, once more. I'm thoroughly enjoying this story, it's so good to see minor characters and OCs fleshed out really well - that's what I really love about fanfiction.

~ Chelsea


Author's Response: Thanks very much for the review and for pointing out the typos. Sorry it took me so long to respond!

 

Photograph by Secret Lily
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 57]

Summary:

Harry returns to Godric’s Hollow looking for strength and finds precisely what he needs to carry on. Post-HBP one-shot.



Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2119 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/10/05 Updated: 08/10/05


Reviewer: Cirelondiel Signed
Date: 12/31/06 Title: Chapter 1: Photograph

This is so, so sweet. Well done.

 

Summary: Response to Winter Snows Challenge #4 for Hufflepuff House Harry sat under the Christmas tree, thinking of all the gifts Dobby and Kreacher had been bestowing upon him over the last few days. As he surveyed the pile of so-called presents, he began to sing…
Warning: Reviewers report incidents of falling off chairs and soda coming out of noses due to reading this fic. You've been warned.

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 507 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/08/05 Updated: 12/08/05


Reviewer: Cirelondiel Signed
Date: 11/28/07 Title: Chapter 1: On the First Day of Christmas my House-elf Gave to me

Hehe, this is very funny.

My only thought is: it might be better to say house-elves, not house-elf, since it’s two of them – I think it would make more sense that way.

Still, it’s fun working out which gifts were from Kreacher and which were from Dobby. And the last one, of course, must be both of them :-)

Anyway, well done! This is a lovely light-hearted HP Christmas song. It’s very amusing.

~ Chelsea

 

Summary: Pygmy puffs, both sides of Fred's buttocks and music. You would think that there were more important things in Harry's life.

Be amazed as Ron, Hermione and, of course, Harry attempt to write Harry's life story with a musical touch.

Warning: Involves out of tune Neville in later chapters. Disregards Deathly Hallows.

The next few chapters are now in the process of being written as I have a sudden breakthrough for a storyline. Thank you for your patience.



Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 4723 Chapters: 4 Completed: No
Published:
03/05/06 Updated: 12/29/06


Reviewer: Cirelondiel Signed
Date: 12/30/06 Title: Chapter 1: Music made them lose control

Oo, this seems to be a very promising idea. I'm sure I'll be laughing my way through it. In this chapter, I just love the title and the last little paragraph :-) So funny. Your grammar and everything is good too, which always makes a fic that much easier and more enjoyable to read. Okay, I'm off to read the next chapter now.
Well done :-D

Author's Response: I\'m glad you like it so far! Thanks for the grammer comment - I\'ve never been great at English generally so that\'s at great compliment! Thanks for reviewing :)

 
Reviewer: Cirelondiel Signed
Date: 12/31/06 Title: Chapter 2: Double Act

Another good chapter, kaammini. I love the beginning and end in particular, you've characterised the twins brilliantly.

Just one thing though: I think you mean 'je ne sais pas' (meaning 'I don't know') or 'je ne sais quoi' ('I don't know what' - that's the real phrase).

Otherwise, good job again :-D

Author's Response: Thank you! I\'ve always found the twins such fun characters to write! I\'ve been told about the je ne sais pas thing before so I will definately check it out! Thanks for reviewing :)

 
Reviewer: Cirelondiel Signed
Date: 12/31/06 Title: Chapter 3: Bittersweet

"Ginny's doing what?!" I just love that part. Hilarious!

Anyway, good work again. Your chapters are pretty short, but I think that makes it easier to read. Well, I can't wait to find out what the black one does, so I'm off to read chappie 4 now!

Author's Response: Thanks! I\'m going to try and improve the length of my chapters for sure but I won\'t make them too long since you say they are easier to read this way! Enjoy chapter 4 :)

 
Reviewer: Cirelondiel Signed
Date: 12/31/06 Title: Chapter 4: What the Black Beauty did...

Good chapter, again. Lupin rapping... that's a very original idea!
But, when Tonks said "he called today..." ...as in telephoned called? They don't have phones in the wizarding world, do they? Maybe you can clarify that.
I'm looking foward to the next chapter. Keep up the good work :-D

Author's Response: I will look into that - thank you for picking it up for me! Next chapter to come soon. Thanks again for reviewing :)

 

Skeletons in the Closet by Merlynne
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 124]

Summary: Centered around Draco Malfoy seven years after the Last Battle and his graduation from Hogwarts. He is working for the Order of the Phoenix and finds himself feeling out of place and more than a little useless. He cannot escape the things he's done or the people he used to care for. As Draco attempts to turn a new page, he is introduced to a witch who will have considerable impact on him. Contains some romance, ships too numerous to mention all of--Draco/OC, Harry/Ginny, Ron/Hermione for starters.






Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded, Character Death, Substance Abuse, Violence

Word count: 61251 Chapters: 26 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/14/06 Updated: 12/26/07


Reviewer: Cirelondiel Signed
Date: 07/19/07 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue

I'm hooked! Excellent prologue, I can't wait to find out the answers to the questions brought up when reading this- like who is this Tania? Very interesting but not confusing. Using sectumsempra which Draco learned from Harry was very good- only small criticism is in this sentence: "A long line appeared across Lucius’ chest..." The word line doesn't seem descriptive enough. You do mention blood coming out of it later but at first it doesn't seem clear if it's a cut or perhaps something drawn on his chest etc.

Anyway, it's great and I'm off to find out what happens!

Author's Response: Hmm, thanks for the mention about the line. When I get a chance I\'ll take another look at that and see if I can improve that part. I\'m really glad you enjoyed the story so far, and hope you continue to read. Thanks for the reiview! -Merlynne

 

Make Me Better by guiding ray of sunlight
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 20]

Summary: Rose Ivory and Alex Moss are best friends. They are always together. Well, almost always.

But things are about to change for Rose. Her entire world is turned up-side-down, and all she can do is wait to see what falls...

The story takes place in the years between the fall (or not quite fall) of Voldemort and Harry's first year.

Rating is for future chapters (The far future)....

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Mental Disorders, Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations

Word count: 11694 Chapters: 9 Completed: No
Published:
06/29/06 Updated: 02/04/09


Reviewer: Cirelondiel Signed
Date: 11/25/08 Title: Chapter 8: Chapter 7

Hey Sunray!

I really like this story so far. Your characters are quite interesting and the plot is good: I loved the conflict that occurred based on Alex's misunderstanding, that was very clever. I'm also very interested to see how the promise Alex made ties into it all.

The main issue with this fic would have to be detail. The chapters are short, which is not a bad thing in itself, but I really feel that you could flesh this story out a bit more. Some subplots and more backstory for the secondary characters could help, and perhaps you could try to do more than simply describe the events. For example, adding in some small touches of description of the setting could really anchor this fic at Hogwarts and bring it to life. The writing seems to be mostly dialogue and narration, with very little description. Of course, you don't want to bog it down, but I think it needs some balance and detail. You have improved on this in later chapters, though. The scene where they met Iris outside Hagrid's hut (complete with Fang!) definitely improved my feel for the setting and made it much more like a HP book.

The structure is good, though: you use the first couple of chapters to provide a few details on the characters, and then build up plotlines based on them.

The ending of chapter 2 stood out to me: "With a fake cocky grin he moved his Queen. Right out of danger." It's a nice metaphor, showing that he's not within Rose's grasp. That was a simple yet effective end to the chapter.

Gosh, Charlie almost works the Quidditch team harder than Oliver! I like it - the insane captain character can provide lots of entertainment. Just as long as he's not a replica of Wood - but your Charlie does have a bit more of a sense of humour than pure Oliver zealousness! You've slipped some good Weasley traits into Charlie - he's very believable.

You seem to have left a few of your beta's notes in in Chapter 6 ;). Things like [delete me] made me do a double take...

I love the little bits of humour you put in (like Charlie kicking out the fangirls at the Quidditch practice ;p). They provide a bit of balance to the angsty/romance parts, and make the characters and story more believable.

Rose and Alex's relationship is nice: they're such good friends, and there's lots of little details that show how close they are: "[he] tickled her elbow – an old joke, the source of which she could not remember...". The reader can really feel the fragility that exists now that Rose's feelings have changed and she doesn't want to upset the delicate balance. I think you do a great job of showing her emotions - I can relate to her feelings and the fact that she wants to protect herself from pain. You evoke all the angst and gossip and relationship issues of high school really well (especially in the opening of chapter 4!) :)

Remember, if you're adding speech tags (like 'he said') after a piece of dialogue, don't capitalise he or she, even if it was a question. There were a few issues with that, mainly in earlier chapters.

There are also a couple of instances of Americanisms, as other reviewers have pointed out - perhaps you could get a British beta to look over it to help you out?

I can really see your writing improving as the fic progresses! This story has great potential, so I'm looking forward to reading more :D I hope Rose and Alex get a happy ending!

-- Chels



Author's Response: First off OMG thank you so so so so so so much for the review. I need criticism badly. Second, I agree with what you said about detailing. I feel obligated to tell you that some of the first chapters were written over two years ago (a rather sore point, I kind of abandoned it in favor of my other WIP and writer's block.) After I came back to it though, I came back with the experience of a pure D/A WIP (yet to be finished) and over a dozen One-Shots. So I'm trying to add detailing, but old habits die hard. I'm going over Chapter six now to get rid of tose mistakes. I can't believe I did that! I am trying real hard about Americanisms down to writing while talking in a british accent. Yes, I am weird like that. I'll send it over to a british friend of mine in the future. Finally, I am glad you liked it! I promise to attept to keep Rose and Alex's relationship as whole as I can muster. High school will always be highschool, don’t worry. As for happy endings…You'll just have to wait and see ;) <3 Sunray

 

Sit Down Potter by Starmom
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 45]

Summary: We love writing stories about our favorite characters in our favorite universe. But what do those characters DO when we're taking a break, suffering from writer's block or abandon a story? A 'behind the scenes' look with a lot of cliches.


Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe

Word count: 4404 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/27/06 Updated: 12/05/06


Reviewer: Cirelondiel Signed
Date: 12/31/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This is so funny and original! I absolutely adore it!

 
Reviewer: Cirelondiel Signed
Date: 12/31/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I'd like to read the Travelogue Trilogy. Can you tell me where to find it? Thanks :-)

 

Summary: Sequel to “It Unscrews The Other Way”

Due to popular demand, our favourite imaginary Weasley is back, this time coming to the end of her first year at Hogwarts. She is now an established trouble-maker, but there is always that issue of grades vs. good times. With various relatives (well, her favourite uncles) telling her one thing, and other relatives (well, her mother) telling her another, anyone would be at a loss as what to do ...



Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 2113 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/17/06 Updated: 12/29/06


Reviewer: Cirelondiel Signed
Date: 12/31/06 Title: Chapter 1: Trouble With Exams – A Janey Weasley One-Shot

This is great. Love the letter format for variety! I hope you'll keep on going with the Janey stories!

Author's Response: Yeah, I probably will, and with lots of different formats and stuff as well.

Author's Response: Oh, and thanks for your review, appreciate it!

 

Happy Christmas, Lord Voldemort by Starmom
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 22]

Summary: The Death Eaters have to decide what to get Lord Voldemort for Christmas. Fun ensues.

***WINNER in the 2007 Phoenix Rising 'Mistletoe & Mayhem' Competition***

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe

Word count: 2434 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/20/06 Updated: 12/29/06


Reviewer: Cirelondiel Signed
Date: 12/31/06 Title: Chapter 1: Happy Christmas, Lord Voldemort

I love it! This is sooo funny. Your portrayal of the characters is brilliant in that believable-but-hilariously-ludicrous-at-the-same-time way. Just some of my favourite bits are: Voldemort being allergic to nuts, an eagle or a phoenix, what everyones doing especially Malfoy noting the tacky figurines, the suggesions with the Horcrux references, the Scrabble Champion thing, and the fact that the Death Eaters have meetings and social events like that.
This is genius, Starmom! I love it (again)!

 

A Dragony Christmas by pandafan81
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 13]

Summary: It had been the best day of his life! What five year old boy could ask for anything more than a trip to a dragon reserve for his birthday? Charlie Weasley was certain that he really did have the best dad in the whole world!

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 4025 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/04/07 Updated: 01/05/07


Reviewer: Cirelondiel Signed
Date: 11/28/07 Title: Chapter 1: A Dragony Christmas

This is a really cute Christmas story. Bill and Charlie act just right for their ages (they are sooo cute!), and it’s so nice to read a fic that has them interacting. Charlie’s excitement about the dragons and Bill’s sorrow that Charlie will miss Christmas is so adorable. I’m a big Weasley fan and I’m always looking for good fics focusing on the more minor Weasley characters, and this is unlike anything I’ve ever seen before. It’s very original, and just plain cute :-)

There were a few misplaced commas, I felt. In a few places, removal or addition of a comma would make it flow better, or a comma needs to be changed to make it clearer. For example:
~ “Really? What?” Charlie asked bouncing on his heels. – There should be a comma between asked and bouncing.
~ “I’m actually going to suggest you go home and get some rest, Mrs. Weasley, when you’re stressed, your immune system is weakened, and I’d hate for you to catch anything.” – The comma after Mrs Weasley would be better as a semi-colon or colon, I think.
~ His father read him, ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas, then turned out the light. – No need for the comma after ‘him’.

A couple of other mistakes I spotted were:
~ Finally the healer returned wearing a face mask and Charlie’s records. – He was wearing Charlie’s records? Hehe. Perhaps you should put in the word ‘carrying’ or something like that.
~ “Look,” he healer said. – Should be ‘the’, not ‘he’.

The ending is very sweet. And I love the title! It sounds just like something a small child would say. It’s perfect.

So, overall, very cute Christmassy story. I love it :-)

~ Chelsea

 

How Dobby Met the Socks by tc015
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: An entry for the Ballad Challenge by tc015 of Gryffidnor.



This is the epic tale of a young house elf named Dobby. Watch as a conspiracy unfolds, secrets are revealed, and a special clothing item is found.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 475 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/10/07 Updated: 02/15/07


Reviewer: Cirelondiel Signed
Date: 10/08/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Very cute :-)
I can't find anything that could be improved, so I'm just reviewing to say... I like it a lot! Keep up the good work :-)

~ Cirelondiel


Author's Response: Thank you!! ~ Teresa

 

All At Once by electronicquillster
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 18]

Summary: As the Final Task approaches, Cedric Diggory begins to doubt himself. He knows he’s not perfect, and he knows he doesn’t have all the answers. Afraid of failure and disappointment, he questions his relationship with Cho Chang. Sure, she’s the ideal girlfriend, but is she right for him?

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 6171 Chapters: 3 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/19/07 Updated: 06/24/07


Reviewer: Cirelondiel Signed
Date: 08/16/07 Title: Chapter 3: Vivid

Love how you used the line from the song at the end! Absolutely love it!

I really like the whole story, too: very sweet and sad considering we know what happens next, of course. Some nice humourous lines in there and the characters are very likeable. I found I could really relate to Katie at the beginning of the first chapter, and I like how you gave Mrs Diggory a bit of depth, too. Only thing I didn't really like in this fic was Cedric's occassional sarcastic comments. Given his image as a nice guy I would think of him saying things in a lighter, joking tone, not so heavily sarcastic. But I guess that's just a personal opinion.

Overall, though, I like this fic a lot. Great work :-)

 

Summary: WARNING! This story contains a jingle-bell antler headband, a shower of potatoes, boy/girl mushiness, underwear karaoke, family trouble, an excessively adorable werewolf, death, the song "Werewolves of London," betrayal, and the word 'Jordan' five times in a row near the beginning of chapter seven.


Twenty-one years after Voldemort's defeat, five fourth-years are faced with a new threat. Will all of the five stay true to the light side? Will they all emerge whole in the end? Will Jordan Potter ever get a life? You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll gasp, you'll sigh! Part one in a trilogy!


Well, after much deliberation and consideration, I've decided to submit my future-gen trilogy! This particular installment is three years old, so it's definitely different from my current writing style, but I'm quite fond of the characters.


DH is disregarded. It's a total coincidence that one of the main characters is named Ted Lupin.


Starring Quicksilver Quills 2008 Best Male Original Character runner-up Jordan Potter, Best Female Original Character nominees Ivy Potter, Haley Potter, and Emma Weasley, and Best Male Original Character nominee Ted Lupin!

Five times nominated (once for each member of Potter's Pentagon!) for the Best Post-Hogwarts story in the 2007 Quicksilver Quills Awards, and nominated for Best Post-Hogwarts story in the 2008 Quicksilver Quill Awards...


Categories: Next Generation Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 45143 Chapters: 10 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/18/07 Updated: 10/03/07


Reviewer: Cirelondiel Signed
Date: 08/28/07 Title: Chapter 6: Chapter 6: In Which Ted Has Quite A Bad Hair Day

WAAAAAHH! I feel like jumping up and down right now. I love this story! Your characters are great. I love them :-) So sad that Ted was bitten! But he got through it with his friends. The end of this chapter is horrifying though! I so hope Ted'll be okay!!!

Okay...calming down...
I love some of the lines in this chapter. Hermione standing up to Zabini and pointing out the parallels between the two types of discrimination is great, very Hermione-ish of her to use a logical argument using factual examples.

"Unless your Mum's Lord Voldemort, my dad didn't kill her." That made me laugh, imagining Voldy as a mother...which was probably not quite the point, but I loved that line anyway :-D

Madam Patil is great.

Veritaserum or Imperius... good name for the game.

Haley's energy seems to be infectious even through my computer screen... I totally love this fic!! You rock Schmergo!
Looking foward to the next chappie!

Author's Response: Thanks for your lovely review, Cirelondiel! Haha, I\'m imagining Volders in a pink apron and lipstick.

 
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