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Reviews by clabbert2101

Magical Moments - A Special Issue by luinrina

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 14 Reviews
Summary: Once again the four most mischievous boys Hogwarts has probably ever seen have been caught when executing a prank. The consequences? A detention. But they never saw this detention coming…

Reviewer: clabbert2101 Signed
Date: 08/11/08 Title: Chapter 1: Prologue - Not the Everyday Detention

It's nice to see you write about the Marauders. I can just picture the looks on their faces when they were told that they had to work on the newspaper. Can't wait for the next chapter, Cheers!

Oh, also, did you mean to say 'heed over to this small little box below' or was the heed supposed to be head?

Author's Response: My loyal reader! *huggles* Thanks for the review. And <.< I'm confused with all these "ee"s and "ea"s. >.> That's a "head over" - at least I think it is... *runs off to check dictionary again. >.< I'll go change it... *sidles away*

Rubia by luinrina

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 7 Reviews
Summary: Changes can be frightening, and Hagrid is more than just nervous about the change that is currently occurring in his life. Will he keep his nerves to stay strong? And, especially, what kind of change is he facing?


This is luinrina of Hufflepuff writing for the I Challenge Thee Challenge, answering the challenge MissyQuill left.

Reviewer: clabbert2101 Signed
Date: 08/19/08 Title: Chapter 1: Rubia

Oh, this is so sweet! I love it!

Author's Response: Thanks, my dear. Your reviews brighten my day.

Envy and Fondness by luinrina

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 3 Reviews
Summary: Lily Evans is on a weekend camping trip with her family, and Severus Snape is invited. The day starts out peacefully, but when James Potter appears, trouble isn’t far behind…

Reviewer: clabbert2101 Signed
Date: 08/24/08 Title: Chapter 1: Envy and Fondness

Oh, I love your writing so much! This story starts out so sweet with just Lily and Severus, I really think that they would have just hung out like that. And then when James showed up, well, the reactions were just perfect. Thanks so much for another great fic!


Author's Response: Thank you. Especially for your first comment. *squishes* I love getting your reviews.

Full Moon by luinrina

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 6 Reviews
Summary: Every month a werewolf experiences the worst – and it’s always when the full moon rises.

This is a poem about the Lycantrophy’s curse.
Reviewer: clabbert2101 Signed
Date: 08/27/08 Title: Chapter 1: Lycanthrophy

This poem is really good. It's so nice to see more of your poetry. You really seem to have captured what the change to a werewolf is like. *hugs*

Author's Response: *hugs back* Thanks for coming and reviewing me once again. And thanks for the great comment. By the by, did you get my message?

Arising from Nothing... by luinrina

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 5 Reviews
Summary: Hogwarts could never have been built without magic. Yet even ‘simple’ magic alone doesn’t let a castle as huge as Hogwarts appear out of nowhere. There have been other forces at work as well, given by the spirits to humankind to command over them.

But whatever the spirits have humankind presented with, it can take something to settle a balance…

Arising from Nothing… is the prequel to my soon-coming Valara series.

Reviewer: clabbert2101 Signed
Date: 10/15/08 Title: Chapter 1: Arising from Nothing...

So beautifully written. I can't wait for the Valara series. I find this is the first Founders story that I have been truly interested in, and the idea that they each control one of the four elements is fascinating. I never thought of that before.


Author's Response: *blushes* Thank you, Bella. I'm happy that you liked it and that you're excited for the next story to come. Know that the first chapter of the second fic is as good as finished and will then go to my beta. In the meantime, there are some snippets of the coming story in my drabble thread in TTB as well as in my homework thread in the DADA class I'm taking (DADA First Years).


Alexandra Quick and the Lands Below by Inverarity

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 275 Reviews Past Featured Story

Seventh grader Alexandra Quick returns to Charmbridge Academy. This year she faces bullies from another wizarding school, a secret Dark Arts club, and the machinations of her father, but her greatest trial yet awaits her in the dangerous Lands Below.

This is the second book in the Alexandra Quick series.

Reviewer: clabbert2101 Signed
Date: 05/17/09 Title: Chapter 33: The Most Terrible Gift

I'm going to be a bit incoherent for a bit, so I'll leave it at this:


This Is Where You Belong by luinrina

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 6 Reviews
Summary: Harry has seen many Christmases; some of them were cruel and cold, others were what a Christmas should be – a holiday of love, celebrated with family and friends.

Will this year be as bright as the best Christmases Harry has experienced? Or will the memories of decades back close in on him?


I am luinrina of Hufflepuff, writing for the Reflecting Christmas prompt (#2) of the Winter Snows challenge in the Great Hall.
Reviewer: clabbert2101 Signed
Date: 12/23/08 Title: Chapter 1: This Is Where You Belong

*is almost crying*

Oh...it's so beautiful, Bine.

Author's Response: Awww, thank you. *hugs*

The Bridge to Happiness by luinrina

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 6 Reviews
Summary: Sirius and Regulus steal themselves away and have an excursion towards the suburbs of London. What awaits the brothers?
Reviewer: clabbert2101 Signed
Date: 12/22/08 Title: Chapter 1: The Bridge to Happiness

Oh, Bine, I love it. It has such a sentimental and magical feel to it, even though it is set in muggle London. Superb job! *huggles*

Author's Response: Bella! Thank you! *huggles back*

Pretty Green Eyes by IndigoPassion

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 8 Reviews
Ellie has always been green-eyed with jealousy over her older sister’s ability to do magic, and Marie has always taken pleasure in flaunting her magic in her younger sister’s face.

Refusing to acknowledge her own feelings, Ellie can’t help wondering, what was this feeling in the pit of her stomach, which only came when Marie was near?

It’s all left to Ben, the older brother, to sort everything out. But will Ellie ever manage to see the simple pleasures found in watching, or will her jealousy never go away?
Reviewer: clabbert2101 Signed
Date: 01/14/09 Title: Chapter 1: That's Magic.

YAY! I'm glad you got a story validated.

Other than that, I loved it. I think the idea is wonderful, and the tone is very sincere. Excellent job.

..................but I still win.

Author's Response: Thank you :) I apreciate your love. Lol. I'm very glad you like it.. but... uh... I win. Sorry. -Lex

Falling From Grace by IndigoPassion

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 6 Reviews
Summary: Born to and raised by the Hawthorn family, Melody and her sister are everything a respected Pureblood family could ask for. However, when Belladonna is sent to Beauxbatons, Melody is faced with the prospect of entering Hogwarts alone.

Fully expecting to be placed in Slytherin or Ravenclaw, Melody is given the shock of her life when she becomes a Hufflepuff.

With her sister in another country, her family miles away, and friends no longer talking to her due to the disgrace of being placed in another House, Melody has never felt so alone. To top that, the people surrounding her are from social backgrounds completely contradicting of her own. People she never expected to spare a second glance, she is forced to live with: Muggleborns and Halfbloods.

Everything that she has ever been taught or led to believe is being challenged. All that her parents have told her is being proved wrong, and Melody no longer knows what to believe. Everything is completely unfamiliar, and she is scared she may be changing. But Melody needs to learn that sometimes change can be a good thing. And sometimes, it can be exceptional.
Reviewer: clabbert2101 Signed
Date: 01/24/09 Title: Chapter 1: A letter to Aunt Clara

*evil laughter* Now, to review.......

I'm just kidding. You're off to a great start. You gave the sisters very subtle characterization through their interaction with one another and the house elf. It's already apparent that they are two very different people. I can't help seeing an underlying similarity between them though. It's like they have the same personality but different interests.......yeah.

Done rambling now.

Author's Response: Haha, but I love your rambling. But thank you. I wanted that, actually. I guessed that being brought up with the exact same experience would shape their personalities simarly. But then, there is no way they would be totally the same. So yeah, thanks :)

Must write more now, lol. -Lex

Checkmate by luinrina, mudbloodproud

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 4 Reviews
Chess has fascinated generations of people. And the pure-blood families were no exception.
Especially the members of the Black family were known to inherit the ability to be masters in the game.

Checkmate is a companion to the Shining Through Blackness series by luinrina.


The violence is only mild.

Reviewer: clabbert2101 Signed
Date: 02/01/09 Title: Chapter 1: Only a Girl

*waves* Guess what? It's your number one fan come to review! Aren't you surprised?

Interesting. You managed to show all the facets of Isla and Savaric's relationship in just this one little scene. The choice of chess was quite....hmm...how to put it, intriguing in light of all the chess references in chapter 13. Somehow, I get the feeling that Savaric is sadly mistaken when he thinks he'll win. Ah well. I feel sorry for him sometimes. When I'm not railing at him......

Always a pleasure to read about Isla!

Author's Response: Thanks a bunch, Bella! *hugs* Your reviews are always a pleasure to get.

Only A Memory by RTTLupin

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 5 Reviews
Summary: The only things Teddy Lupin knows about his parents come from the memories of others. On his seventeenth birthday he will finally have a memory of his own.
Reviewer: clabbert2101 Signed
Date: 06/06/09 Title: Chapter 1: Only A Memory

Hey, Sara! This was just beautiful. I love that Remus and Tonks planned ahead in the case of their deaths, leaving Teddy a gift for his 17th birthday. It was a tearjerker, you had me going from the time Harry showed up with the present.The concept was wonderfully carried off, I applaud you.

Your characterization is stunning. The loneliness that Teddy feels is completely believable. I love how you used his hair color throughout the fic to express his mood, noting how quickly it would shift when he was alone and how he controlled it to hide his feelings in the presence of others. It helps show how isolated he feels, loved but not quite belonging. You put it perfectly here:

No matter how he put the puzzle together, his piece did not fit. For the last seventeen years, the puzzle had been painted over giving the illusion all the pieces were in place.
Ah! Simply amazing.

The integration of the memory was just, wow. I loved that Remus and Tonks had the foresight to put it in there, just in case. And when Teddy realizes that all their dreams for him had come true, that he has the family they wanted him to have, it was one of the most beautiful things I had ever read. When he changed his hair to bubble gum pink I nearly died from happiness. Ah! It was wonderful.

There were just a few things that slightly lowered my enjoyment of the fic. You have a tendency to not use contractions in dialogue, which sometimes added marvelously to the character’s speech (such as when Lily said I am waiting. I am waiting for you to think of something fun to do instead of nothing. Wonderful! It perfectly captured how six-year-olds speak when they want to be serious.), but sometimes it left the dialogue feeling formal and stiff (“We are so glad you are staying with us this weekend, come on downstairs if you are hungry.” most people would just say “we’re” and “you’re”). It would feel a bit more…comfortable I guess, if you would use some contractions in places like this.

Also, just for clarity, you might consider putting Remus’s and Tonk’s notes to Teddy in italics. That way, the reader could see immediately where the letters began and ended. I was a bit confused the first time I read through and all of a sudden I was reading a letter; it felt like I didn’t have any notice that it was about to happen. Of course, that could just be me and my crazy brain.

Once again, just thank you so much for writing such a wonderful, beautiful, stunning, amazing fic (have I overused enough adjectives yet?). You’re a very talented writer and I can’t wait to see more from you.


Author's Response: Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review my story. I am so glad that you enjoyed it, and that the emotions I wanted to display showed through so well for you. I wanted to especially thank you for the comments that you gave me for improving it. This being the first story that I had validated I found your review to be incredibly helpful. Hopefully the changes I made will make the story more enjoyable for those that read it in the future. Thank you again. Sara

In Due Time by luinrina

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 3 Reviews
Summary: Who ever said life is going according to ones wishes? It would certainly make it easier, and more so when you possess the power to change things at will, like your appearance. But wouldn’t life be boring without risk and danger?

Lucy is about to find out exactly that. But she would never learn from it for her experience comes too late – albeit being early for her.
Reviewer: clabbert2101 Signed
Date: 05/16/09 Title: Chapter 1: In Due Time

What? I still haven't reviewed the last chapter of STB but I'm reviewing this? *hides* I can't think of anything to say for STB yet......that being said:

This is a really dark fic for you, Bine. You do it very nicely though. The way you wove the flashbacks through out the running sequence (does that make sense? Running meaning, like, stuff happening in the present. Like you're running a movie or something....*uses weird expressions*) is really wonderful. I really love it.


Author's Response: Thank you! And I know what you meant. :)

A Truth Universally Acknowledged by luinrina

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 8 Reviews

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
~ Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

Narcissa Malfoy wishes for her son to marry, but Draco is not content with her decision. Though, when a young woman enters his life in an unusual way, he finds himself wondering if he feels more than just the need to possess her.

This stories is the prequel to A Christmas to Remember, but can be read alone.

Reviewer: clabbert2101 Signed
Date: 05/30/09 Title: Chapter 1: It couldnt be any more beautiful

The rays of the rising sun fell into the room through the high windows, illuminating the dining room in an ocean of warm colours that ranged from golden yellow to flaming red. The beams of light danced over the walls and pictures of snoozing people who, from time to time, stroked over their cheeks as if wanting to brush off the sunlight. The tablecloth gleamed in a bright white that – if one looked at it too long – hurt the eyes. And yet, the already warming sunrays welcomed us lovingly into the new day, engulfing us in their gentle touch.

Beautiful description, Bine. It paints such a wonderful picture in my head. *sighs* You are one of the best people I know for bringing scenes to life.

Your characterization, of both Draco and Astoria, was lovely. They feel alive and real, and right. It doesn’t seem forced. You gave reasons for their feelings and actions, and the writing made it feel true.

But something changed. War came upon us, and war usually changes everything, even within ourselves. Draco seemed to have changed to someone softer, to someone who could feel affection for one other than himself. The way he had shown care for me on that one winter day, when I had fallen onto the iced surface of a lake, that had been a different Draco already than the one I had met months earlier in Hogwarts’ library. His eyes were less cold; they now held some shimmer of the most powerful feeling there is: love. Not necessarily love for me; it might be too early for that. But he was able to feel love which gave me the hope that one day he might love me.

There, see, that’s what I wanted to express, and you already had Astoria express it perfectly. The war affected Draco’s character, and this entire fic shows the results of those changes.

One thing you might want to look for is tense change. Sometimes the tense would change within a sentence, from past to present.


Author's Response: Thanks, Bella. :) *hugs*

Madness by ron lover

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 2 Reviews
Summary: A short poem about the madness that lurks in Azkaban.
Reviewer: clabbert2101 Signed
Date: 03/31/10 Title: Chapter 1: Madness

PA? Poetry Review Circler, reporting for duty! -salutes-

Hmmm...one of the first things I notice about this poem is an excess of repetition (it waits, madness is waiting, waiting to take its...). I think with a bit more variety in vocabulary, the punch this poem packs (alliteration!) could be increased tenfold.

For instance, instead of “Madness is ready to consume you” maybe “Madness reaches to consume you”. Continue the personification you set up in the first couplet. Show Madness lurking, roaming, eager. It’s not just waiting, it’s seeking you out, actively attempting to destroy. That’s the impression I got at first, but with “it’s ready” that doesn’t carry through to its full potential to me.

Maybe madness isn’t “waiting” to take it’s next victim (which doesn’t really align well with the idea of roams expressed in the line previous) but is searching for its next victim.

What I’m saying is, most of the poem makes the Madness seem passive, but the most extraordinary lines give it life, show it clinging creeping clawing, a struggle between Madness and the person’s own sanity.


Author's Response: Thanks for this great review! Your comments are helping me a lot as I'm trying to rewrite it.

I Lost My Name by Over Sea Green Hills

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 3 Reviews
Summary: Have you ever wondered what talking to Gilderoy Lockhart after he lost his memory was like?
Reviewer: clabbert2101 Signed
Date: 02/16/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Dear Over Sea Green Hills –

This is one of the first Lockhart poems I’ve read, and I think you portrayed the effect of his memory loss very well. The poem has a kind of hectic feel, not in a chaotic way, but more of a “kid in the candy shop” way – which I think is an excellent portrayal of Lockhart’s regression to a more childlike state of mind.

One thing I would look at is how you’ve chosen to punctuate the poem. There are times, such as in the first two lines, where I feel a change in punctuation could more accurately portray the feelings you’re expressing. Looking at the first lines, I would change:

I lost my name; can you tell,
Come on, can you, well…

To something more like:

I’ve lost my name – can you tell?
Come on – can you? Can you? Well?

Because Lockhart is questioning his guest, as opposed to just speaking. I altered “I” to “I’ve” because it makes the name loss sound more personal to me, like it’s not something that happened a long time in the past that is no longer affecting him. I would change the semicolon in the first line to a dash because the “can you tell?” question seems to be an interruption of the first statement. I changed the comma to a dash in the second line for a similar reason. The second “Can you?” in the second line was being inserted automatically in mind while reading through, so it’s not all together necessary. However, it seems to add a sense of urgency to Lockhart’s questioning – like the answer is vital to him.

The urgency of the first two lines seems to be contradicted by lines three and four. Lockhart expresses surprise that his visitor knows his name, which I can understand, but the fourth line (“What a loss.”) is confusing to me. Why is it a loss for the guest to have found Lockhart’s name?

Something else that I’ve noticed is that these lines don’t fall into the general two line rhyming pattern (tell, well; someone, are done, etc.). There are other places in the poem where you drop the rhyme scheme as well – such as in lines 7, 8, and 9. If you combined lines 7 and 8 to read: Now I’m simply…well…I don’t really know…, that section would fit with the rhyming scheme.

Really though, the rhyming and rhythm seems to fall apart at this point in the poem. I can’t decide if I like the inconsistency or not. In some places, I do, but in others it makes the poem seem incomplete. One line that seems very out of place is line 11, How strange and queer. It’s not really connected to anything, and it just sits there, alone and out of place. I’d consider either scrapping this line all together, in favor of keeping lines 12 and 13, or adding a rhyming line after line 11, and scrapping lines 12 and 13. The only reason I suggest this is that what is stated in lines 12 and 13 was already stated very clearly in lines 5 and 6.

An example of a line you could add after line 11 is:

How strange and queer
Though you tell me I once held it dear –

Line 13, if you keep it, is a bit out of place due to its length. If you could edit it down some, so that it would fit with the general length of the other lines, I think it would read better.

I really like lines 14-19. They really display Lockhart’s confusion and utter lack of self recognition. Lines 17 and 18 seem a bit unnecessary though. What is it that Lockhart can’t win at? Remembering? But if he doesn’t remember, each realization would be new. The same goes for line 18 – forgetting would imply that he remembers by himself sometimes, which you seem to be implying he doesn’t. I think these lines could best be edited to read:

Is it yours?
No? You say it’s
Well…perhaps it is, then…
Who are you again?

Lines 21 and 22 are lovely. They show how quickly Lockhart forgets his own self. The punctuation doesn’t seem to reflect this though. Maybe try substituting a question mark after “Oh”, and then again after “goodbye”. And then perhaps add an ellipsis after “so you can tell him”.

In line 23, I think Lockhart’s disbelief could be expressed very clearly by italicizing “me” and finishing the line with a question mark. Then the line after could have an exclamation, to show his utter shock and rejection.

The final two lines seem to reflect the beginning rather well. I think it might be best to omit the second “my”, but that’s purely personal opinion. I’d think about ending this line with an ellipsis as well, and adding an ellipsis after “Hmm” on the final line. Maybe add a question mark after “now what was I saying?”, because, well, it reads as a question. And then end the line with an ellipsis after “hazy”, because Lockhart seems to just be fading off.

Another thing I think might be beneficial is to split the poem into stanzas instead of just a chunk of text. This is a great device to add pauses and show Lockhart’s change in mood.

I hope this was helpful,


The Necklace by eternalangel

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 3 Reviews
Summary: Theodore Nott is not your typical boy. It’s hard to be typical when you are the son of a Death Eater and everyone hates you for it. For Theodore, love is hard to come by, but that was before he met her.

I am eternalangel of Ravenclaw and this is my entry for the Great Hall February Month of Love challenge, the Forbidden Love prompt.
Reviewer: clabbert2101 Signed
Date: 03/08/10 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Oh wow this was amazing. I'm glad I chose to click on it! :)

The imagery in the writing was incredible, especially this line

"He looked like a rogue storm cloud, broiling on the surface as he rose to his full height, which was daunting to everyone in the room."

which just gave me chills.

There were a few places where your use of Nott's whole first name (Theodore) threw me off a bit, just because it seemed so formal. Anybody with a 3+ syllable name tends to get a nickname in my mind, so my brain wanted to think "Theo".

I loved how tentative the relationship between Theo and Susan is, and that it didn't end with a crescendo, passionate kiss, and a sunrise (the equivalent of a cliche happily ever after). That little touch of hope and happiness filtering into Nott's life made me all warm and fuzzy inside.


From Dark to Light by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 7 Reviews

The darkness looms the harshest before dawn, but light will always cross lines drawn in the sand.

This is the story of the battle of Hogwarts.


This poem has been nominated for a 2011 Quicksilver Quill: Best Poem.

This poem has also been nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill: Best Poem.

Reviewer: clabbert2101 Signed
Date: 07/07/11 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Aww it's gorgeous, thank you!

Author's Response:

You are very welcome. Happy late birthday again!