Penname: lily_evans34 [Contact]
Real name: Rachel
Member Since: 02/10/06
Website: http://nina-myers24.livejournal.com/
Beta-reader:
Status: Member
Bio:
Hello, there! I happened to stumble across my author page when I suddenly realized... I haven't updated it in two and a half years. So. Uhm. Here we are.

My name is Rachel, and if you're looking at my bio, I'm guessing it's for one of the following reasons. If that's the case, allow me to assist you:

Mod: Though I spent a year and a half working for the site, I am no longer a mod. If you're concerned as to why your Harry/Hermione fic hasn't made it out of the queue, I'm no longer the person to ask.

SBBC: This is a group on the forums which is devoted to discussing fanfiction, also known as the owner of a significant portion of my heart and soul. I was a member of the SBBC for three years and the leader for two, and I will say that in all my time in fandom, I have loved nothing as much as the SBBC. Unfortunately due to time constraints I had to step away, so if you're interested in joining, I am no longer the person to contact. But please, head over to the forums and check out the SBBC and talk to the lovely people who are currently in charge. It's wonderful. :)

SPEW: I am no longer a member of SPEW on the forums. If you still wish to review for me, which I would endlessly appreciate, I would love any concrit on Last Chance to Lose Control, Talk Tonight, Admiration, Candles Burn, The Best Things Are Left Unwritten, Endlessly, She Said, or Christmas Snow. Please don't bother with anything older than that; my most ancient fics are frankly poorly-written beyond repair. I keep them up solely to placate those who've enjoyed them.

Beta: I do infact beta - my name at the PI site is lily_evans34. I am not currently looking to beta anything new, but I'll keep you posted if that changes.

Drabbles: I've taken up drabbling again recently, and you can find my drabbles in The Three Broomsticks forum. I would love any feedback you have to give regarding those.

About me...

I'm a college student, though I was in middle school when I joined this website. Can you believe that?! Though I suppose now is not the appropriate time for nostalgia...

Ahem. Like I said, I'm a college student majoring in Linguistics, slowly working my way to fluency in Italian and French. In my free time I read, play tennis, update my MNFF author page that I'm guessing no one will ever read, and my pie chart of obsessions can be evenly distributed between Harry Potter, Les Miserables, and Doctor Who. There isn't much else to know.

I'm not currently active on MNFF, but who knows, maybe one day I shall return. I love this place. :)

My Fics - oldest to most recent.

This Little Thing Called Love
DELETED FROM MNFF.
Thanks for all the support for this fic, and I'm sorry to those who enjoyed it.

Let The Rain Fall
Harry/Ginny one shot. I've gotten some lovely reviews, but this isn't my favourite. This shows a perfect example of my earlier writing style... I've much improved since then. 'Much' being the key word.

The End
General one-shot about Cedric during the night of the Third Task. Again, shows my earlier writing style off pretty well. Read only if you must.

Bound
A Hedwig One Shot written for the Owls challenge by lily_evans34 of Ravenclaw. Not my favourite.

I Never Knew You
Andromeda visits her sisters grave and writes a letter, explaining everything she had ever wanted to say. This is one of my favourites by me. My writing has matured, but I like the concept I had going.

Let Go
Written for the Monthly Challenge: Great Love by lily_evans34 of Ravenclaw. James/OC. Not author recommended. Please don't SPEW review this one. Or read it. It's awful. Really.

A Life Worth Living
Angelina is having regrets about her upcoming wedding. Fred/Angelina.
For Mari

Christmas Snow
Ever wonder what made James change for Lily? Fluffy James/OC one shot.
For Bethany

Candles Burn
All Hermione can hear is the darkness. This is probably my most experimental, and I'd love some feedback here!

Endlessly She Said
Written for the SPEW 007 - prompt: "chase". Based on the beautiful song by AFI.
For Emily

FEATURED: 4/22 - 4/30

The Best Things Are Left Unwritten
This is what happens when Lily Evans stays up writing late into the night. Short and sweet Sirius/Lily one shot toward which I have a certain fondness.
For my Sarah

Admiration
Ron and Hermione, the day after the last battle. I would appreciate any feedback you have to offer here.
For my Suya

Talk Tonight
Sometimes you'll find comfort in the least likely of places. A bar-confession story of sorts, about despair, redemption, and hope.
For Suya

Last Chance to Lose Control
Hermione has lost faith in everything, in everyone - except Draco. My first D/Hr in years.
For Suya - Happy Birthday!

The Sun is Gone Before It Shines
This story can be found under the penname 'Katchel'. It's a joint Ron/Hermione fic written by myself and ms weasley for our 'triplet', Kiara.

Please read and drop a review!

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Reviews by lily_evans34
 

In His Head by BloodRayne
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 10]

Summary: Peter continues to feed his hatred...where will it take him?



For the April Challenge, Prompt 1 (Succumbing to Darkness), by BloodRayne of Gryffindor house.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe

Word count: 1569 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/20/07 Updated: 04/20/07


Reviewer: lily_evans34 Signed
Date: 08/24/07 Title: Chapter 1: Feeding Hatred

Hadeer, you did a lovely job with this fic. You took the typical roles of good guys and bad guy and reversed them so believably that it made the reader [well, at least me] understand and almost sympathise with Peter.

I thought you made it very believable as to why Peter wanted to get revenge for James and Sirius. That's an every-day kind of situation - someone feeling left out by their friends - and you just took Peter's revenge to the extreme and made it fit in with canon wonderfully. *nods* You did a great job with making this fic canon compliant, spare the whole Sirius-as-secret-keeper thing, though I think it works well the way you had it.

The only time when I thought Peter's characterization was a little shaky was when he saught Voldemort out - I would think that he would have been more timid in canon and afraid to do that. However, that is a great opportunity to show the Gryffindor in him. In most fics I see his cowardly side a bit overdone, so this was a nice change. *nods*

Overall, brilliant job, Hadeer!

Author's Response: Thanks, Rachel!

 

Tempestuous Silence by rita_skeeter
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 21]

Summary: "I have come in here to escape the weather. I'll just stay until the storm has passed."

When Hermione Granger and Lucius Malfoy meet in the most innocent of circumstances, they find themselves unable to resist the endless whisper of lust. Yet one of them holds a secret which will eventually ruin them both.

It's the calm before another storm.

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Mental Disorders, Sexual Situations

Word count: 4085 Chapters: 3 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/26/07 Updated: 06/09/07


Reviewer: lily_evans34 Signed
Date: 06/02/07 Title: Chapter 2: Her Heart is Racing

Ooooh, hot!!! I like!!! And yes, I'll probably come back to SPEW this sooner or later, but as I'm tired and half asleep, the product of doing so now would be a bit... o.O

Ahem. GOOD JOB. I love how you write this unusual pairing in a fast-paced yet believable way. Now you must hurry up and write Chapter 3 like winter! Will there be more sexual frustration? One can only hope.

Author's Response: LOL. I can\'t pretend to not love writing teh hotness...*shifty eyes* And ooh, a possible SPEW review? Yay!! Thank you for your lovely comments, my dear, and don\'t worry! I should have Chapter 3 up in about a week. :D

 

Derision by HermioneDancr
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: When had a pledge of universal honesty become a practice of universal derision? A look at Severus as a teacher, 1987.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 950 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/24/07 Updated: 07/24/07


Reviewer: lily_evans34 Signed
Date: 07/24/07 Title: Chapter 1: Derision

That was lovely, Lian! This look on Severus seems both wonderfully written, and very accurate. I love the way you justified Severus' derision towards the students and himself. The fact that his driving motive was Lily was spot-on, and made a lot of sense in the context of this story.

Blasted impatient, incompetent, imprudent children! Hee! I loved this line. I find it very likely that Severus has these sorts of thoughts towards students. I've never regarded him as someone who particularly enjoys teaching.

The dialogue exchange between Percy and Severus was amazing - I felt like I was reading straight from the books. I actually thought the conversation was with Ron for a minute, and I actually DID think that you took an excerpt from one of the books. *looks around shiftily* I think it was a great idea to show the relationship of Severus and one of the brighter students - this justified Severus' thoughts of failing his students - even the smarter ones - wonderfully. o.O Not sure how much sense that last sentence made. *shifty eyes*

The last paragraph was beautiful. I love how you made it clear that he still loved Lily. As I mentioned above, it was a great way to justify his derision towards students - that they could never match her brilliance. That's such an interesting thought, and I find it very likely in canon.

All in all, a beautiful one-shot, Lian!

Author's Response: That sentence that you don\'t think makes sense makes plenty of sense, somehow. I\'m glad you found my Severus, his motivations, and his interactions believable.

 

For Him by Indigoenigma
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 9]

Summary: She has unerringly distilled my problem to that of a simple choice: James or Lily?

This was written for the Dumbledore's Hat Fic Exchange in the SBBC. The prompt was the following quote: “If we are to be damned, let us be damned for what we really are.”

Rachel, this is for you.


Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2646 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/26/08 Updated: 05/28/08


Reviewer: lily_evans34 Signed
Date: 08/11/08 Title: Chapter 1: Choices

Kelly, you win. Just… that’s it. You win.

Right, perhaps I could try to be a bit more on the eloquent side. Yes.

I’m always hesitant to request rarepairs for fic exchanges. Mainly because I see the pairing a certain way, and there’s always that fear that the other person might not get it right. But this story, quite frankly, is right. That’s it. It’s canon and it happened and that’s the only way I’m going to look at it.

Sirius/Lily is probably one of the harder pairings to pull off, what with James/Lily and Sirius and James being best friends. I don’t like Sirius/Lily fics that completely disregard James, because that’s just ridiculous. Of course they both know how much James loves Lily – it’s completely unbelievable for them both to disregard this. But the way you made this the focal point of the fic – the dilemma you’ve created here was just… sigh. Heartbreaking.

Characterization is an exceptionally strong point of yours, Kelly. I noticed that when I beta’d Requiem, and then read All He Knew in the SBBC, and now, rereading this, I’m sure of it. I like how Sirius and Lily’s thoughts are both… not completely mature. That’s to say, you captured this teenage romance without giving these characters the maturity and understanding that they lacked. I mean, they both loved each other, that much was painfully clear, but the way they couldn’t quite figure out how to make their relationship work just made it all so real. So sad.

I’ll have you know that I’m quite in love with your Sirius. I could gush about the way you wrote him in Requiem and The Morning Comes Too Early, but I’ll just stick to this for now. The way you told us that Sirius needed both James and Lily but could only have one of them… again, sigh. This is so believable… and reading Sirius thinking this, and then a paragraph later, reading about Lily not understanding why it had to be secret was just perfect. Your writing [especially Sirius’ thoughts] was so compelling… like, he had to see Lily in secret because he couldn’t lose James. I can see where a lot of people would make Sirius seem a bit… annoying and selfish with these thoughts, but you wrote it so perfectly and realistically. It wasn’t selfish at all. It was the only thing he could do.

Guh.

I love that Sirius’ thoughts were so eloquent in his head – he knew why he had to see Lily in secret – but he couldn’t put them to words. It just makes me feel even stronger that sense of desperation that you’ve created in this fic. My favourite line would have to be Why can’t I have Lily and James? Why can’t I have them both? It’s so… right there, so obvious, but he couldn’t make Lily understand. Once more, sigh.

The way you incorporated the prompt in this was wonderful. And Sirius realising that that’s not who he is, despite his love for Lily… perfect. I like that he chose James. Even though it means Sirius/Lily cannot be, I don’t think that under any circumstances could Sirius have betrayed James. And it was hard for him, because he wanted and needed them both, but… he had to turn Lily away. It was the only thing to do. That makes this story all the more painful. A lot of people write Sirius as an extreme ladies-man, and in this case, would completely disregard his loyalty to James in favour of Lily, but you made him such a real character. Have I said that enough? Yes? Alright then.

I don’t have quite as much to say about Lily, because to me, this is more of Sirius’ story, even though a fair amount of it’s told in Lily’s POV. It’s probably because you continued your companion pieces with Sirius, and rereading this, that really makes me see how much Lily meant to him. Which makes it all the more wonderfully heartbreaking.

However, Lily’s parts were necessary to cause the reader more anguish, seeing that Sirius loves Lily and Lily loves Sirius. It made both of these characters more believable, and it made me even more desperate to see Sirius and Lily work it out in the end. But like I said… I’m glad they didn’t. As much as I love this pairing, I also hate to see terrible OOCness, and this fic is the best of both worlds. The way it ended was just… right.

I really don’t have much concrit, honestly, because I love this fic just the way it was written. One line toward the beginning stood out to me though, and this is just me being OCD about phrasing again. Her hands will clench and she’ll regard me with those hard, glittering eyes that don’t belong to her. I don’t know if glittering is the right word, because it strikes me as something more… vibrant or passionate, and this is right after you told us that Lily’s eyes would become hard and unfeeling. So, I don’t know. I’m just sort of iffy about that.

Well, I know this is destined to be over 1000 words at the rate I’m going [gosh, I haven’t done that in so long], but I feel compelled to point out some of my favourite lines.

As much as I hate myself for saying it, I resent her for it.

Maybe.


Uhm, guh? That is all. I like this… Sirius can’t stay mad at Lily, even when he wants to. You’ve given Sirius such a different, more vulnerable side than what we’ve seen, while still keeping him extraordinarily canon.

Perhaps it was the danger and the mystery that attracted me to him, because goodness knows that it wasn’t his practicality.

This just… makes me smile. Well, you’ve seen the way I write Sirius/Lily, so you can see where I’d love the way you draw on the fact that they have little in common.

Oh God.

She’s coming this way.

I don’t have a letter.

Oh God.


So, so perfect. I love how she catches Sirius at just the wrong moment, and Sirius’ immediate panic. It makes me wonder, what would have happened if he did write a letter? This fic just brings up so many “what if” scenarios – I mean, even if you assume that Sirius and Lily were dating, there’s still what if they could talk this through and make each other understand? They’re just… so close, but they can’t get it right. Sigh. Just beautiful, Kelly.

Huzzah, I have predicted correctly. 1,100 words and counting, and yet, I feel I have said nothing of substance. Now I remember why I felt I was destined to leave SPEW. >.>

Author's Response: Rachel! Oh. My. Goodness. Thank you so, so much for your review. Although I already kind of knew your opinion from when you beta-ed the companions, it just made me so happy to see that you enjoyed your story. Quite honestly, I enjoyed writing it and I'm glad that you issued the challenge. Thank you!

 

Curse Me, Lord by Mistletoe
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 10]

Summary: Once branded by the Dark Mark, the sole most powerful sign on the planet, Bellatrix was sent on a mission. A mission that would mean everything or nothing, and she held the power to decide which. To her Lord it would prove her loyalty, her everything, and she was more than prepared to do just that.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 1172 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/26/08 Updated: 07/27/08


Reviewer: lily_evans34 Signed
Date: 11/26/08 Title: Chapter 1: Curse Me, Lord

Kat, this was excellent. As I said in the SBBC, your characterisation of Bellatrix was right on! I mean, in canon she's often see as a character who only lives to serve Voldemort, so I love that you accentuated her personal agenda in this fic. That was really well done. The beginning paragraphs in particular were exceptional - they immediately illustrated Bellatrix as an evil character. I mean, as much as I love fics which explore different aspects of characters... I hate when this is done to the extreme, like, "I'M BELLA AND I'M SO MISUNDERSTOOD - I'M REALLY A GOOD PERSON". I love that you didn't do this. You showed her exactly as we know her, but added a few twists to her character. Well done.

I love the ending, too - "good, but it wasn't enough". Very Bellatrix-esque - pushing herself to be Voldemort's number one, even after she commited a task wonderfully. I can think of several characters who would be content right there, but not Bellatrix. The last line - "One day" - is a bit menacing in that respect - you show her as an unstoppable character, one who could do anything. I honestly believe that in a world totally compliant with this fic, Bellatrix would be standing beside Voldemort.

My only nitpick is that, when refering to Voldemort, 'He' should be capitalised. And, that one passage that Alice and I commented on in the SBBC - not sure that she would have professed her need for power to Voldemort as readily as she did.

But, all in all, this is one of the better character studies of Bellatrix that I've read. Great job, dear!

Author's Response: >.< Thanks, Rach! I loved writing this, really. It was actually inspired by a picture from Roxy's Romance class. Strange, right? It was actually a romance between Bellatrix and power. Also, this is Bellatrix's first task for Voldemort. The line that you and Alice made a comment about was just her adrenaline taking advantage of her. You know, she is young and new to this. I'll make sure to fix my capitalization error :]

 
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