I am old. Older than Jo. Not quite as old as Voldemort.
In fact, I am exactly Marauder-aged. Which might be why I don't read much Marauder-era. Can't compete with Lily....
Wonderful place, Mugglenet Fan Fiction. First, it turns me into a toaster. Now I find out I'm a doorknob. A doorknob that makes toast, I suppose.. ;)
I really like the idea you have here. Will you be terribly offended if I tell you that I think the prose style is not up to your usual standard? I have a suspicion that some of the people you are writing here are not people you particularly feel, so to speak. Not that you have them saying things I don't think they would say (OK, I personally don't think Jo's Remus would say those things, but your usual Remus would...) but that somehow their voices are not working for me. Or maybe it is the diary format? If I manage to put my finger on it I'll let you know...
Interesting choice of people to comment. I would never have thought of including Dumbledore, and I certainly don't know why, he's an excellent choice. We don't get to see enough of him...
Toasters. Doorknobs. Doorknobs that make toast. And lemons. Oh! The overwhelming confusion!
I\'m not terribly offended, honestly. It was something I scribbled down months ago; a series of drabbles that I thought might work for a one shot and apparently made Bethany (the mod) happy enough, so through it went. You are right though; I don\'t particularly feel any of the characters except for Remus and, since it was my early days of shipping, Remus is a bit off from the way I write him now. Then again, it\'s a bit of a different reaction when you\'re getting it in an \'I\' point of view instead of the \'he\' one. And I swear to God it\'s the only time I\'ve used the word \'lover;\' believe it or not, it happens to be number one on the list of words my family hates. It was just completely unavoidable. What else should he have used?
Well, it\'s Dumbledore\'s fault--yes, everything that goes wrong in HP is his fault, however indirectly--but it was the perfect voice to end the shot that way, dont\' you think?
When they couldn't see Neville, It hought maybe HE was wearing the cloak - oh, and I loved the potato thing...
Author's Response: lol. Neville stealing the cloak. I wonder what would happen if Neville sat there with it on and they discovered him...
Fascinating!I I am tending to think that the friends, Filch and Norris were part of the Maze, rather than themselves, but it is great that you leave it such a mystery.
Author's Response: I am glad you liked it. I left it more to the readers\' imaginations. I greatly appreciate you comment.
Very interesting, and quite a cliffie. I will be following this one. I do have a question - Hermene invokes Abaskantos, and is then killed by AK...so, the spell itself does not kill you to protect the child, but allows you to "take the bullet" for it, so to speak?
Author's Response: Ah, quite perceptive.
And you are right. It invokes a protection for the child, but requires the sacrifice of the caster from whatever you\'re trying to protect the child from. There will be MUCH SNAPE ANGST! about him having even told her that to begin with in The WiP O\' Doom (tm). There\'s a fic which accompanies this - basically tells the Slytherin family perspective. Chapter 1 is in \"about ready for betaing\" mode between myself and my co-writer of that fic, and when I read her version of chapter 1, I nearly climbed into my monitor with excitement. I can\'t wait until that one\'s finished. OMG. It\'s called \"Accidental Horcrux\", by the way (the story - there are four chapters). I could PM you or something when it\'s up, if you like?
I think I read half of this without breathing.
I only noticed when I did draw breath, at the end.
Author's Response: Oh god. You\'re leaving me speachless in just two lines, PP; that was exactly the emotion I wanted to convey. Thank you!
Author's Response: Thank you for discussing this in the DADA class, by the way. :)
Oh, I adore it! i can jsut see Neville behaing like this as a child.
My one little nit-pick is htat you wrote he was treated to seeing his AUNT yell at someone else for a change. I think you mean his grandmother.
I have a disabled child, and not unitl I read this story did I realize that to a family of wizards and witches I suppose a squibb is disabled. They are a bit tactless, though...
I think there may be something prophetic in Neville bouncing. his first magic? Recovery. When you think about it, he is pretty resilient by time he gets to Hogwarts...
Why is it that I seem to spend so many review of your stories saying "Poor Severus?" He could have - and perhaps, when all is said and done it is as well he didn't, but perhpas not - he could have controlled them with respect for his abilities, if he had known how to try. Potions might not be as flashy as Transfiguration, but he could have come up with the occassional flashy potion , one that even a dimwitted student could have appreciated. Is it possible that he rules thorugh fear because, having had so much To fear in his life, he feels he understands it? That he is comfortable with fear, out of long aquaintance?
I like the way he dithers over the points thing...and I like him for doing something he feels he has to do, however unpleasant it may be for him, and happy for him that it works out better than he probably expected.
BTW, just to nit-pick, you've got an "elusive int here somewhere that didn't seem quite the right word where it was - I went back and of course couldn't find it the second time...
Oh. I liked it. But I'm sure that showed.
Author's Response: Okay, now I owe you 30,001 reviews(or \"prison cigarettes,\" as you called them.) Thanks! You\'re right; he hasn\'t encountered the idea that he might be able to gain someone\'s respect, and settles for fear as familiar and something he could work with. I\'ll go looking for the elusive \"elusive\" and see if it annoys me after all.
Yeah!!! Made it through the Queu!
You already know what I think of this. How does it feel to see it here, finally?...
Author's Response: It feels awesome!!!! I was so hoping it would make it through with no problems. Wow, this is better than when my first poem went through. Thank you so much for all your help on it!
Just so you'll know I read it. I honestly don't know what to say. Well, other than "Does Arthur think they are exclusive?..."
Author's Response: At what point in time? comes the answer. Good to see you here -- do you see any good Greek influences floating about?
I haven't read htis since you were just finished, and I have to say I liked it then but I like it even more now! I never saw before are how liket he Marauders Salazar and Godric are, i like that he realizes he has to add his lteast crurse ot the list, and I like that they are not being called "Unforgiveables" yet, because it shows that somethings developed with time... Do you realize thta not naming the other curses on the list leaves open the possibility that there were other curses we may or may not know about that the Founders considered as bad or worse?
Picking the story up where you do is interesting because it literally IS all over but the shouting, and yet you make the shouting worth reading...
Really marvelous! I'm glad I read it again...
Author's Response: Thank you so much PP! You did such a fabulous job betaing this for me too. I had never thought about the Marauders and the Founders being alike, that is a very interesting observation. And no, I hadn\'t realized the fact that I left the list so ambiguous, but now I love that I did, even if it was on accident. Thank you so much for all your kind words! They make me smile : )
My very favorite line:
cups of coffee that eighter ought to be illegal for the spells performed on the unlucky contents or given the same rights as some of the creatures that live in Hogwarts lake.
A piercing descriptoin of a year as it could have been.
Ah. Yes. One of the better ones that came out of needing it to hit the 800 word mark. Necessity is the mother of all invention and all that, right?
I did try. Thank you, love
I love the story. Is it exactly the way you like it, or do you think having put the occassional part into dialog would have improved it just a touch - like Draco asking Harry, right before the quote you give as Harry's answer?
My other big question - did you have a formatting problem? It was very hard to read this as one, long, paragraph...
All in all I did like it .
Author's Response: As far as I could tell, all the paragraphs were spaced out as they needed to be, but I\'m going to go check and fix the formatting. I\'m glad you liked the story. Part of what I liked about the story was that there was very little dialogue, because it was mostly about Draco\'s feelings, which, of course, didn\'t need to be voiced. Thanks for the review. :)
Author's Response: Look, you get two responses! I was thinking more about what you said, and I realized why I liked the lack of dialogue so much in this particular story. Usually, I like to have lots of it. In this one, though, it\'s basically Draco\'s recollection of the events. He\'s not like Hermione, who can quote parts of Dumbledore\'s previous speeches at the drop of a hat. He only remembers exactly what people say when it means something to him. For example, he remembers when Voldemort tells him what he must do, because that affected him. It puts emphasis on the fact that Draco was deeply moved by what Harry says to him.
How incredibly clever to have Harry use the spell Hermione used on him when he met her - I almost felt like it was Hermione hereself, whole, by the door.
Author's Response: Err.. that wasn\'t really intentional. But thanks anyway. Hope you liked the beginning!
VERY nice. I love wierd old marriage things - there were, for example, two types of Merovinigan weddings - one, permanent, and one where the girl could be given back to her father. Sort of Like buying at Macy's. I have no idea how long you had to return her....
Why is the Ultra-confident Lily so sort-of-confused at points? Why hadn't shee told them about vows? Because you don't really need vows? Were these legal Muggle Marriages in the past, or legal Wizard marriages, and while I kow they aren't legal Muggle marriages now, are they still legal Wizard marriages at the time this is done?
My favortie line?
"...he hopes he's not just imagining because he's been too nervous to eat today and he might be hallucinating."
I like it because it introduces exactly the sort of totally mundane thing people actually think about at moments like that.
Sirius appears more human in his nervousness than we ever get to see in Canon, and it shows how strong Remus is, which is definately Canon, but not very overt and therefore easily overlooked or forgotten, and this is totally consistent with your continuting characterization of both of them.
I should love to hear more about those. Either one, actually.
I think because she probably only knows the basics of it and hasn\'t attended many Wizarding weddings, let alone officiated one, above all a gay one, so isn\'t entirely sure about the vows. I\'m sure the Wizarding world must have different ones than we do, at that.
When you say \'these\' you mean handfasting, right? Those were legal Muggle marriages back then and I\'m sure that Wizards used em as well. They are a bit of an obscure reference, and I\'m not surprised that Remus and Lily know about them, but not Sirius and Remus.
Are they legal Wizarding marriages? I\'m not entirely sure. Shall have to consult with Remus about them. I know that they were legal for straight couples, and I think that, as the Wizarding World might not have been faced with that many gay couples requesting a legal marriage of any sort, this might have done it. Civil ceremony, if you will.
My favorite bit: “How do I look?” he asks, running his fingers through his newly short hair before placing his hand on the knob. “Terrified.” “Right,” Sirius says, and opens it.
Taking your word on that one...although I like to think I have a fairly good imagination....
Top!Remus rules!!!!!!111!!!!!1!!!1*laughs manic fangirl laugh*
OOOOH! Love it. Don't love what has been happening to Trent of course, but the way you write about it, about the kind of maginc he's been doing by accident and how his magic, presumably, won't let him kill himself, and then - NEVILLE.
I adore Neville. I love the image of his living to be an old man, and his being the one who finds the homeless boy to deliver the Hogwarts letter. It seems to me something he would do - be the one to search out the lost, and offer them their chance.
Hope there is more to come - can't recall if this said it was a one shot or not, but hope it is a first chapter.
Author's Response: Hey, thanks for the review! This is a chaptered fic, so there is more to come, so you know. You\'ll find out in the next chapter why Neville is the one to deliver the letter. Let\'s just say I gave him the career the best suits him... - Jacie the Cat
I l;ike how this is developing. I like Eddy. I am dying to find out how things have gone for Neville.
It does not bother me that this must be 40 years or so in the future, but the scene as you describe it is as it is today. I'm not sure desperation changes much over the years...
Author's Response: Well when you walk down the streets of a major city you see the homeless people looking, acting and surviving like they did 20 or even 30 years ago. Contrary to a certain Michael J. Fox/ Christohper Lloyd movie, the future doesn\'t bring too many changes aside of vehicle designs, fads and new logos. In any case, you were actually right in how long after Year7 in which this story taes place. Neville and Trent do talk about the Wizarding world in the next chapter (as well as its history. (*wink*) - Jacie the Cat
My son and I read this together and both liked it very much. I do have a big question. Is Jack nice, or not? He starts off sneering, but they do play with him all summer, so why are they thinking it would be a good thing fi he is sortedin to Slytherin? I'm sure they all expect ot be in Gryffindor....
We will look forward to seeing what happens!
Author's Response: thanks for the comment. i am planning on talking about why they don\'t like Jack in the next chapter
"Oooh! OOh, OOh OOOH (Waving arm in air and using best Arnold Horshack voice) Professuh Viridian, what spell is she going to invent!"
Sigh. I know I will have to wait.
They both seem quite in character, although I suspect that the nuances of your Snape now seem even more in character to me than the original... I've never seen Ginny done this well. I especially like seeing how Prof. Snape manages to be more "honest" than Ginny has any intention of being.
(spares everyone long digression on the behavior of oppressed populations and relatively more successful members of same.)
I feel that soap recipe has further plot potential......
Author's Response: Hmm. I responded and the ether ate my reply. Weird. Anyway -- oppressed populations noted. I think this relationship has all sorts of potential, don\'t you? Thanks for the review! Again!
I've read all the way here. I'm enjoying the story. I don't know what kind of reviews you like, so I don't know if that's enough, or if you want concrit. If you do, just pm me. If not - well, I'm going to keep reading...
Author's Response: Well hello, Professor! I'm honored that you've taken up my story. What great incentive, hehe. :-) You can be as brief or detailed as you'd like to be. I love reviews when the reader feels strongly about certain scenes or even if they didn't like something I wrote. If I messed up somewhere, let me know that too! I'll be around . . . ~Nicole
Ok, you made me cry! good tears, good tears...I'm a mother, and I hope my children love me that much...(OF course, in a way it is much easier to love a mother who never makes you eat your peas...)
I like the way you "age" him as it goes along.
I love the way he pulls the lion in him out "By t e scruff of the nec.k"
I'm not entirely certain that it's really entirely Neville's diction and voice int he later entires, but we never hear very much from him at once in Canon, so it is hard to tell, isn't it?
I love your concept, and I really enjoyed the story.
Author's Response: Lol, thank you very much. I hate saying that I love to make people cry - it sounds completely horrible, lol. I\'m glad it had such an effect on you, however, that was, after all, the intention! Thanks so much for your lovely review!