WINNER of the BEST GENERAL story – Quicksilver Quills Awards 2010. In the weeks and months after their eldest brother’s wedding Fred and George Weasley continued to run their business. Two decent honest and respectable businessmen, they had no involvement at all in any illicit conduct. They certainly didn’t get involved in any anti-Voldemort activities. Definitely not. No. Not them. Never. They wouldn’t. Honestly.
My first question, and perhaps the most obviousl one, is why these people haven't tried to join the Order. Is it a matter of not knowing how? And is there a hint that the boys were headed to the Cauldron deliberately? It seems quite a coincidence, otherwise...
I like the concept and am interested in seeing where you take this.
Author's Response: The first answer is, I'm not certain who is in charge of the Order, Kingsley? Contacting an auror on the run would be difficult. A hint? "‘Thanks for coming, guys,’ Katie said. ‘We need your help.’" Keep reading. -N-
Summary: The seven women who loved Harry Potter.
So many people don't get Harry, and it seems you do. I'm glad, because I adore him.
Author's Response: Thank you! I kind of adore him, too :) I'm glad you liked this!
Summary: To Dean Thomas, it seems like the rest of the wizarding world is moving on with their post-war lives while he remains stuck in the past. But a near-terrible action shows Dean than perhaps he is not as alone as he thinks, and that with the help of the people close to him, he may eventually be able to move on.
After Jen's careful and rather complex review I can't say much, can I? A very interesting story. I'm sorry I can' t do it more justice than that right at this moment!
Scorpius had never looked forward to anything the way he looked forward to leaving Hogwarts with Rose. He planned a holiday with no friends, no family, and nothing to do but be together—until a tampered Portkey changed their destination.
*stares at her copy of The German Shepherd Dog Handbook*
*contemplates dog in her crate who will still not do anything master has tried to teach her, although she has succeeded in teaching master a thing or two*
*sighs and wonders if it is everything on earth you are better at than she is, or only coming up with fantastic plots and dog training.*
Marvelous story so far. And please tell me you can't gunwale a canoe.
LOL at the dog teaching the master a thing or two. I think that's absolutely right. I'm the one trained to pick up "got to go potty" and "thinking about gnawing a chair leg" signals, although, to be fair, Courage will go to the back door and whine to get my attention. He probably figures it's less drama than me going, "GAH! Gross! Outside! Outside!" :D
German Shepherds are less food oriented, aren't they? Combined with high intelligence, does that mean they respond to training when they feel like it? How do you motivate, praise for sitting, etc, and ignoring when acting up?
Thank you for being sweet, and if gunwaling (if that's a word!) is more than holding onto the handle/gunwale/thingies when you carry the canoe, I have no idea what it is!
Summary: Auror-turned-Librarian, Noah Sizemore, traded dark wizards for dusty books when the Dark Lord fell. Incognito among American Muggles, his ho-hum life is turned upside-down when an old friend appears with a scrap of parchment telling of a hex which can undo history. Together the two rekindle their Auror ways on a globe-hopping adventure to find this darkest of hexes before it falls into evil hands...
Well, this is interesting!
I am never really sure I understand anything that involves time travel, undoing the known past, etc - seems to take more physics than I ever absorbed. However, there are a few things here that sort of bugged me, so I will get them out of the way first. I know they may seem a bit petty, but I am mentioning them for a reason - please do read on!
I think the library at Alexandria, if it has ancient writing, as in on the floor, would have hieroglyphics. So I would not put Ancient Runes there. I'd put them on signs, maybe, leading people around. (This may just be me being an idiot - just an idea)
Two, if Socrates does something, perhaps each of the statues should do or be seeming to start to do something. (Again, just an idea, I liked him...)
Three, Ancient Runes and Hieroglyphics work in two entirely different ways. Being good at one is not only not necessary to being good at the other - would probably be irrelevant. Runes are an alphabet, and basically replace the alphabet we know - dead simple, really, unless you want to make it more complicated. Hieroglyphics are pictograms (pictographs? Picto-somethings) They represent ideas. I think he'd been better off at having been good at them in some generic ancient languages study in Hogwarts or Auror training.
They seem older than their late 20's. They seemed old and defeated in the earlier chapters. So I am confused by the timeline you express, but as I pointed out, I am easily confused by these things, it might be me.
The mummy is intriguing. If he's warm, he shouldn't be decayed. Because he seems to be half shark, I am wondering what that's about. And if he's a mummy, he really shouldn't smell. The decay is what makes something smell so awful, and if he was actively decaying, he should be gone and no longer smelly after a few thousand years.
BUT it did occur to me that this might have something to do with the hex itself and maybe I should keep my mouth shut, but, sadly, I am not so good at that... ;-)
Now why mention all these things? They are really nit-picky. I am mentioning them because I REALLY like this story, and they distracted me from it. You plotting is interesting, your OC's are interesting, you owe it to the story to make it absolutely as good as you can, so it will get the loyal following it deserves! And like I said, they might not bother other people, but they did distract me a bit. I'd be happy to discuss it further if you want to - I am also ProfPosky over at the Beta Boards and you can im me...
Thank you for a good read - I am following this story. It is holding my attention and that is a very good thing.
Author's Response: You make some good points. I'd been mistaken on the exact nature of runes(vs. hieroglyphs), but now that its been pointed out, i'll have to make some edits. I'm glad for your opinion on matters - in of the opinion that criticism is always good - and i'll use the comments to (hopefully) make future drafts better. Cheers.
OOh, marvelous. Two OC's, both of whom are looking credible (or are they names mentioned once in canon? Anyway, close enough to OC's even if they are) a Muggle Library and a Wizarding Library built in essentially the same space - favorite trick of mine for schools and Prisons - and an few interesting new bits of magic, never mind the very well drawn picture of two men whose time has passed way too young...
Well, I'm waiting - go update!
Summary: The seven women who loved Remus Lupin.
Well, this is very good. Whether Remus is in character or not is hard to say. Things can change people, and it is possible that Remus changes, not drastically, but somewhat, as life goes along, and perhaps that makes him difficult to pin down. I like Hetty but I'd have changed the order of the names in her last sentence.
You DO realize you've afflicted me with a very AU Ginny/Remus bunny....
Author's Response: Thanks, I'm glad you liked it. Characters do change, you're right, especially someone who faces everything that Remus does. As for AU Ginny/Remus -- that's never occurred to me in any way, but I'm glad I could inspire you somehow! ;)
Summary: A collection of poems, written by their respective marauders. Poems about food, some not about food, others about girls, and still others about the trouble of the moons. All teenage problems, and others, are written here!
NOTE: I HAVE ADDED ANOTHER POEM TO POTTER'S PROSE!!! PLEASE CHECK IT OUT!!!
I found this more interesting than James, but then, I find Remus a more interesting character.
The whole Remus/Chocolate thing is cliche, but since it comes at the end of a pretty interesting piece, you get away with it... :-)
Author's Response: I had actually written the chocolate poem when I had finished typing the other poems, and had realized that it was so dark... and yeah, I'm not quite satisfied with James's poems, and I think that I'll re-write it... Thanks for the feed back, Nymphie THE Original
Summary: Lily had often wondered why the older boy would go outdoors, alone, when it was raining. Amongst his friends, he was always playing the part of the dashing rogue - a dapper rouÃ© who was never without a female companion. If he was so comfortable in the company of others, why then did he seek solace in the rain?
i cannot believe you are going to leave this as a one-shot!
Glad to see Ginny and Lily Evans Potter reflected in their line of descent - this is a fiery Lily, and I can see this happening, presuming Scorpius is like Draco seemed to be = and we don't know that he isn't.
Author's Response: Oh, well it's my first Next-Gen fic, so I'm leaving it a one-shot until I gather the nerve to write outside my element. I figured my Lily and Scorpius would be a lot like Ginny and Draco. Hopefully not too much so. *grins sheepishly* Thank you for the review and encouragement. ^^ ~Lia
Summary: Imagine a new chapter in the Deathly Hallows with the slight twist the Severus Snape survives. Upon Lord Voldemort's downfall, Harry faces the man who has so long been his benefactor.
while rather brief, there is a lot of good in this story. I think you have the emotions right, on Harry's side, at least, and maybe there is enough of something in Snape to smile just a little bit at Harry at this point. I like the way you did not explain too much about the alternative action with Snape and Voldemort, and now that you mention it I have to wonder why a man with a Basilisk and a snake didn't go after a dragon as well in canon...
Your diction in the first few paragraphs is not as smooth as in the later ones. I think the prose quality improves as the story goes on.
You also ended it well. And Bless you for not making Snape too warm and fuzzy to be believable. Or Harry too eloquent.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the constructive feedback. I really appreciate it. Originally the story I wrote was much longer, but I wanted to keep everything as believable as possible with respect to J.K. Rowling's original characters. I could not thus create a longer story because of the context of the Deathly Hallows. This was extremely difficult to write because of Snape's personality. While originally I did not think that it would be possible to write a story about Snape and Harry with anything except animostiy, readers really don't have any idea of how Snape would behave towards Harry after the war. Thus, this is the element that rescued the storyline. Nonetheless, had his smile been any more than 'barely discernable' it would never have been believable, and I am so gratified that you found it so. Thank you!
Summary: Lily Potter shocked the Sorting Hat when she asked to be placed into Slytherin. The Sorting Hat shocked all of Hogwarts when it did just that.
Such a delicious idea...
Author's Response: Hahah! YUM... Thanks so much for the R&R. It means a lot!
Summary: Scorpius Malfoy never expected the brief visit to his bookshop of a rude woman with no interest in books to give him so much to think about.
This story won the 2011 Next Generation one shot QSQ
Oh, I loved this!
I am not a huge Next-Gen fan, so I hav enot particular preconceived notions about how these people should behave, but your interpretation of them seems entirely plausible. That Ron and Hermione could have a gorgeous Auror daughter works for me, and that Scorpius could be this sensitive does as well - Draco is very sensitive, but Scorpius seems to have learned a way to use his power for good. (I wouldn't say Draco used his sensitive side for bad - more like he never USED it at all.)
Points I especially liked - Narcissa as the Ice Queen, Sirius' bike (that must have been some repair shop) Daphne's scandal, when Scorpius says she and Rose would be an unholy alliance, and the sad true fact that yes, 40 years on some fools just can't give it up and keep on making trouble, and how hard it is to get past that, and the way you carry it through the story from her initial comments in the rain, through the story crisis, and on to the end. Very interesting choice of book not just for her, but considering that the Civil War is still, in the minds of some people, not entirely over, as the second war with Voldemor is not entirely over in the minds of some people in the story.
And what woman does not want to be loved the way Scorpius loves Rose???
Excellent. I really enjoyed it. Oh, and I think Draco should add a carful selection of non-fiction. Some people cannot be found in a novel... ;-)
Summary: Not all Voldemort’s victims were on the side of right.
Over a year has passed since the Battle of Hogwarts. Families grieve, but their dead are remembered with honour.
For Draco Malfoy it has been a year of nothing. Merely existing, he is bound tightly to his past as if enveloped in a shroud, unwilling to accept help. It takes a chance encounter on a cobbled street to jerk him into the realisation that he cannot go on like this. A chance encounter with the one person who has most cause to hate him.
But shrouds, however tightly bound, unravel.
A huge thank you to Natalie (hestiajones) who put her laminated canon card in jeopardy by beta'ing this fic and being very supportive all the way through.
Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. Her lawyers agree, so please don't mistake us. I just like taking the odd liberty (ahem) with her characters (and pairings)
Nominated for two QSQ's in Best Non-Canon Romance and also Best Post Hogwarts story for 2011. Thank you.
Oh my Godric, I know you are Canon Queen, but really, can't he have Hermione? PLEASE!!!!!
Author's Response: Ummm, well, I might get hexed by Natalie and Lori - hee hee. I was sorely tempted to go AU with this, but in the end I just wasn't sure it could work. Perhaps there's an epilogue ... ~Carole~
E-chick - I've been reading this right along, and as much as I adore getting reviews, I really haven't been able to write any - I've just been absorbing this through my pores. I think you've got Hermione, I think you've got a plausible Malfoy - I find him a difficult character, myself - and a very plausible Ron. Unlike some of the situations I've seen Hermione put in, this does not stretch my credibility too far. And I am dying to see what comes next...
Now on to particular things I liked here - I liked Bill being in charge of the hiring, and being fair to Draco - I think that is very Arthur Weasly of him. I like that you've got Draco figuring some things out a little bit at a time - like he might not get another chance, and he wants one. I love that they are both so confused and conflicted - for me that is very realistic.
Oh - and I adored Draco's cooking - both that he had no clue, and that he didn't give up. Very good detail there.
Update quickly, please!
Author's Response: Thank you Prof P! I amd glad this is plausible because that was my aim. They needed a good reason to be together and not just because they met one night and felt lustful. I've always seen Bill and Arthur as the reasonable Weasleys. Much as I love that family, the others are often quick to judge and also have tempers on them - must be the Molly in them - ha ha. I will be updating very soon, just tweaking the last chapter. Thanks again ~Carole~
Summary: He realises his brother was right.
Winner of Stage 2: Free Verse the Second Annual October Triathlon at Poetry Anyone. Nominated for a QSQ for Best Poetry.
Oh. VERY. Nice.
It passes my test for a good HP poem - if you''ve never read the books, it still means something.
That final stanza is stunning.
Author's Response: PROFESSOR!
Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! :D:D:D:D Glad you liked it.
Summary: Molly sits and ponders the hard financial hard ships of her family.
I really like some of the things you've done here. The pacing of the poem, the way you narrow it down, physically and literally to Love and then from love open it all back up again reinforces the theme. Also, it has the feel, especially in the last line, of Anglo Saxon alliterative gnomic verse, which is thematically resonant as well.
(I know that may sound craptastically overintellecutallized, but I read it over. It is literally correct. Although it may be spelled wrong.)
I totally feel for Molly here, but I think the ending is perhaps unintentionally ironic. It seems to me she is working very hard to make ends meet. She is planning to show her children the real values in life. And yet, she is giving credit for whatever will happen to fate.
While fate is tossing her problems, I think she is being very proactive in meeting them, and while circumstances may or may not defeat her (Of course, knowing Molly, we know they don't,) I think this last line gives fate too much credit.
The question is, of course, does Molly really think it's fate? Is she really resigned to whatever fate hands out?
There is an English poem about people on an insignificant income trying to survive, and it has the line
"And they fall face forward fighting on the deck."
that's more the impression I have of Molly.
The Anglo Saxon stuff I mentioned is very fatalistic and sort of "Why didn't these people all just drown themselves,they sound like they want to." (Well, they lived in what we would think of as large unheated uninsulated garages/barns without indoor plumbing or netflix, really, why DIDN'T they all drown themselves? Must say something about humanity...) Molly does not strike me that way, and yet maybe she has to be. Well, maybe just something to think about...
Author's Response: Thanks Thea... this poem was initially written because of some real life things. I just twisted it a bit to work in the Potterverse. :) I thought of all the characters, Molly could understand the most. Thanks for the great review! Cyns
Summary: It is Christmas Eve 1998, and the Magical World is shakily celebrating the first Christmas since Voldemort’s defeat.
For one, though, there is no reason to celebrate. Draco Malfoy sits alone in his room refusing to join his parents as they try to regain their social standing.
He does not want to see another Christmas, but he reckons without a redoubtable figure from his past.
My name is Equinox Chick from Hufflepuff, and this story has been written for prompt four of the Great Hall Christmas Challenge over at the MNFF Beta Boards.
Thank you to Natalie for a quick beta job on this – anything to get her away from Rabelais, I guess.
Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. Her lawyers agree, so please don’t confuse us.
Ah! Well, this is quite interesting.
I dare you to keep me from pining over that lost Moody opportunity, though... for a second, I thought Moody might come see Draco...
Author's Response: Hopefully it will become more interesting when I reach Chapter 1. Thanks for reading and reviewing. As for Moody ... why don't you write it? (heh heh heh)
Oh, this is LOVELY. So many twists and unexpected turns, so in character, and yet so fresh. I especially like Astoria, and the hint you leave that Astoria is, for a pure-blood his father would approve, a very normal girl, one who might make him personally happy.
I've been reading right along and haven't always known what to write, so I have not reviewed as I should. This is really a masterful story, Carole. With so many opportunities to be cliched or maudlin or banal you skirted every single one of them. I like how you dealt with the suffering Draco witnessed and his coming to terms with the victims.
One has to wonder if Lucius ever felt badly about what happened to Ginny, and if he did, how if at all, he came to grips with it - I hope you write that one some day. It would not be at all like this. I despise Lucius, but I suspect that if anyone could show me a side of him I could understand at all, it would be you.
Congratulations on a MARVELOUS story.
Author's Response: OH, well, I do plan to write that Ginny/Lucius dilemma (not a pairing I assure you) It should feature in High at some stage, but I did write a drabble for D/A class this year which provided one angle. Thank you very much for the review and I'm glad you liked the story ~Carole~
Summary: It's Christmas Eve, 1998, and Harry Potter is throwing a pity party. You could argue that Harry Potter is more justified than most in throwing such a party. Severus Snape, however, would be inclined to disagree with you.
I am LilyLunaPotter of Hufflepuff submitting to Prompt Four of the 2010 Great Hall Christmas Challenge.
Well, and a stunning story, too. Very nicely done. You get Harry and Snape in one blow... clever, that Lily... -)
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. ~LiLu
Summary: Something odd indeed has happened in the life of Severus Snape. He is a happy, engaged man about to start a new life. Things are, for the first time in his life, perfect.
Or are they? What would happen if Severus Snape found out that his dream existence was nothing but a figment of his imagination? Would he chase after happiness?
Very interesting. I'd like to b more specific but it's 1:38 am and that's the best I can do, for now. Waiting for an update!