I am a sixteen year old whose in WAY over her head what with friends and homework....
Ah... the birth of threstrals. Very interesting Joanna. I particularly liked the use of Pegasus in the story. I was under the influence that pegasus is both the plural and the singular though. Guess I was wrong!
I liked how you built up to his death. I didn't realise until now that her mother forgot her wand as a punishment to Thais's father. I don't remember seeing how her brother died however.
Your portrayal of her father's death is rather confusing. I don't know what to suggest, but it made me go 'wait. What happened?' and then reread it. Other than that it was wonderful.
Very wonderful job... You portrayed the relationship of Sirius and Regalus in a manner most believable. I liked the fact that, though they were constantly yelling at each other, their relationship was rather loving after all. It was quite sweet to see them defying the roles the books set for them while still playing the part. I also liked your idea of making the third person point of view into an outsider looking in on them. Your whole story was excellent!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I worked hard on making sure they fit their character but were different nonetheless.
That was touching. A very thoughful and provacative view of a person with so much loneliness in her life it overwhelms her... I had a phase like tha, though not nearly as extreme.
I felt I could really relate to your wonderful story.
Author's Response: Yay! I\'m glad you liked it; I was trying to make it relatable. Thanks for reviewing. =]
It's uncanny that I have read two stories where Dudley has a child who has magical ability. I'm almost proud of myself. However, just because Dudley has a kid in both, they are completely different stories.
I enjoyed your story, particularly, because of the flow. It went smoothly from one point to the next, no jumping around. It is also a creative rendition.
Author's Response: Seriously, what are the odds that two authors would write stories based on the same thing within days of each other, when I don\'t recall ever seeing a story with Dudley\'s children before now? It\'s also cool how you can start with the same premise and go in totally different directions - that\'s why I love writing! Thank you for your review. I was actually a little worried about how smoothly it read, so I\'m glad you enjoyed it.
This a rather interesting turn of events. Not to mention confusing. Is Snape a good guy? Did he lose his memory? What happened to Sirius and Hagrid? My head is spining! It was well written, and if I didn't already know the plot line, it would be exceedingly believable and it'd put snape in a good light to boot.
Author's Response: Yes, Snape is a good guy. If you have a forum account, my forum name is the same as my author name - contact me for the \"why Snape is a good guy\" missive. Snape was temporarily \"shell-shocked\". Snape believed Sirius to be the Secret Keeper, hence his tone and attitude, and thought that Sirius was the one that betrayed the Potters. However, Sirius didn\'t actually do this (and couldn\'t have even if he\'d wanted to, given that he wasn\'t the Secret Keeper), so Snape\'s assumption here was wrong, and Sirius wasn\'t involved at all. He goes looking for the Potters/Peter later.
As for Hagrid - well, there\'s a minor issue of a \"missing 24 hours\" for Harry. We know the attack on the Potters took place at about 11:59 PM on 31st October. Vernon Dursely went to work the next day (which was 1st November) and heard rumours and saw owls and there was a news report. THAT NIGHT, Hagrid picked up Harry from Godric\'s Hollow (where he saw Sirius, and Sirius then went off in mad pursuit of Peter) and then Hagrid took Harry IMMEDIATELY to Dumbledore & McGonagall, who were waiting near the Dursley\'s house. Harry was left on their doorstep sometime between dusk the night of 1st November and dawn the morning of 2nd November, and Petunia found Harry on the morning of the 2nd.
There is *simply no way* that a 15 month old child would survive being exposed to the elements in England in November for 24 hours without adult supervision. I strongly believe that SOMEONE took Harry from Godric\'s Hollow and that SOMEONE (not necessarily the same someone), brought him back so that Hagrid could \"find\" him.
I do have an entire essay devoted to why I think Snape was at Godric\'s Hollow, *and not with the Dark Lord*, if you\'d like to read it. It will probably explain away a lot of your confusion.
That was cute, if a bit unexplanatory. I find myself asking, what happened to Giselle? How closely is Halle related to the weasley clan? etc. I think you need a sequel... Yes a sequel would be perfect..
I liked your quotes, they set the write mood. (hehe word play) Great Job
Author's Response: Halle is the daughter of Hermione and Ron, and Miles is the daughter of Alicia Spinnet, because I made a mistake :) To know what happened to Giselle (daughter of Ginny and Harry) you would need to read Malicious Intentions, whihc this one-shot is centered around. I might go back and fix it after the challenge is judged, just to be fair.
\'Write Mood\' - teehee! Yay for Fellow Ravenclaw\'s!
I feel the need to cry. That was just so sweet!
The ending was a little, confusing, but it was wonderful...
I particularly liked the fact that she was strong enough to push James away when she realizsed he didn't love her. It made her a bigger person in my eyes.
Author's Response: Confusing? Huh? That\'s the first I\'ve heard of that, interesting, interesting... Anywho, thanks for the wonderful review!
Ohhh... Such description makes my heart tingle.
I am confused as to why she has a cheery tombstone... she's rather criminal.
I liked the way you handled the ending in particular. I got the shivers when you wrote, ' She couldn’t help but feel that it was Bellatrix, even in death, brushing her thoughts away once more.' That was an incredible ending, if a bit depressing.
A few nit picks.
The letter needed a comma after Bellatrix(at the beginning). Also I felt as thought the tombstone and letter should have been italiscised (sp?). Other than that It was wonderful.
Author's Response: I don\'t think that her enemies would bury her, so I think that this is how her friends saw her. If I ever think of a better epitah, I\'ll edit it. Thanks so much for the review!
Hmmm... Who would propose some one as dursleyish as the dursleys would actually produce a wizard in there family. Well, I guess bad blood will out.
The story was written nicely, though it was a bit choppy in places.
I like the idea of Dudley and Harry sharing the same dream, and I like what the dream envisioned, and would pay money to know which one it is he's going to take...
Author's Response: Thanks for your honesty in my story, I\'ll surely remember that in my following chapters. Thanks for reviewing!
Very intriguing view on the hall of prophecy. I would never have thought Albus'd have a cousin(sp?). However it is highly plausabile. You had a wonderful way of describing the hall of prophecy, as well as the way he discovered his ability. The only thing I wonder about is ow did he find out in the first place? did they test him or something?
Author's Response: Hi Miki! Thanks for reading the story and leaving such a nice review! As for Aldred - he hasn\'t told me how he discovered his ability to manage prophecies yet. But he might, someday. It was, after all, a life-changing event, and I\'m not sure how crazy his family was about finding out. How\'s that for an answer? :) Thanks again for the kind words! ~Gina :)
You were very creative. The spells were a nice touch and so was the confrontation. I never thought there final confrontation could be so, for lack of a better word, difficult. I always imagined Salazar just slipping away. I also didn't think Godric would be so forceful in trying to get him to stay.
Your story was wonderful, and your ending had a finality to it that was difficult to describe. I enjoyed it very much.
Author's Response: Thank you so much! I had never thought much about how things worked out between Godric and Salazar, but I had a feeling that Godric (being the reckless Gryffindor he is) wouldn\'t simply let his best friend slip away. I didn\'t intend for Godric to be so forceful, just adament in trying to work things out. I see him as being very loyal to his friends, I think that is why I put him with Helga. I\'m glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for taking the time to review!
This sure is an interesting take on the department of mysteries. Most I've seen so far have been from an unspeakables point of view. To put a story in the point of view of a journalist is very cool indeed. Especially considering the way that horrible Skeeter woman is.
I enjoyed your story. It flowed well, and was fairly interesting at the same time. However, what are her wildest dreams?
Author's Response: Thank you, Miki! Her wildest dreams are writing an large article on something she enjoys. Something that fascinates her. Most journalists write about things that are going on -- and they don\'t have to like them. But Teagan is writing about something that interests her, and she\'s having fun in the process.
That is one of the most interesting depictions of this subject I think I have ever read. Normally, most of Remus's transformations are not from his point of view and I think that is what draws me to this story. It shoows the pure instinct that grips a feral animal. I particularly liked your use of the term blood-lust. It made me squirm to think of Sirius bitten by a werewolf, though I liked his thoughts on Peter riding shotgun.
Well. There was supposed to be a bit more going on between the werewolf and Pads, but this is a family friendly site, so....(I lie. O how I lie. Couldn\'t write such a scene if I wanted to.)
Call Peter comedic relief, shall we?
Thank you so much!
This story is beautifully written. You balance the plot and such evenly and you are really good at your descriptions of actiony events. I particularly liked the way you slowly unveiled Cathryn's personality, you can tell from the beginning she's rather fiesty, yet she develops into a wonderfully well rounded character. It's too bad about what happens to her though. I felt wretched just reading it, so I can only imagine what you felt writing it, even if you knew it had to be for the ending to work in your favor. You did a masterful job Gina.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the wonderful review, Miki! I am so glad you read this story, you are the first since the results went up. *squee* Thank you for the generous compliments! I am glad you liked it, as sad as it was at times. Yes, it was difficult to write, for many reasons. I felt terrible creating this lovely character only to have it turn out the way it did for her. Did you like her connection to Ravenclaw? There are lots of little connections in this story I\'m proud of, particularly that one. Thank you so much for coming by to read it, and thank you for your great review, I really appreciate it!! ~Gina :)
This story is quite humorful. The confusion a wizard may have felt as he/she discovered a thing that emits funny humming sounds is quite funny and highly believable. I like the slight display of happiness Author shows at the end. You described it quite well and it seemed an Arthurish thing to do...
Author's Response: Thanks, Miki! I tried to write it in a very light and humorful way, without going too over-the-top. I tried to keep Arthur very IC, and I loved the end, because that seemed to portray him very well, to me, and I\'m glad you think so too. Thanks so much for the review!
I love your story. It's cynical and depressing yet you have comic relief in "theo". I love your choice in the nickname, as it's totally not something a slytherin would stand for. As I know you are a girl (and quite possibly a teen like myself) I caught a few things in your story that did not sound mannish if that mmakes any sense at all. It was great, don't get me wrong, but some thing he said (cant remember what) sounded like it was coming from a girls mouth.
Thank you for the review on my story!
Author's Response: Thanks! I\'ve always called him Theo. Theodore has always been one of my favourite names, and I like al l of the nicknames for it. (Of course, Theo\'s a much better name for him than \'Teddy!\') If you could find what the specific girly line was, that would be great. I am 14, and although Theo\'s not your typical manly-man type, I definitely don\'t want him to come off as effeminate!
I love your ending to this Ritta. It's so perfect for this chapter...
Author's Response: Thanks Miki. =]
I'm so sorry I didn't get around to completing this marvelous story last night. My dad kinda sent me to bed... Anyways., I still don't get it... And the similarities in our endings are quite funny...
Author's Response: I\'ll PM it to you, but only after you finish. I can\'t guarantee it\'ll make sense only after reading it, but maybe I can find the part of our conversation that gave me the idea. Thanks for the review!
Dear, I absolutely love this story. It is well though out and reasonable and not like the usual cliche'd fics I come across so often when reading James/Lily fanfiction. It is one of my favourite pairings and I love it when I can read just one where Lily doesn't have a mental issue caused by a cataclysmic event by the end, James isn't the perfect Head Boy and simply trying to weasle his way into her heart, and there is not that yucky gooey fluff in it either. And you are making the change gradual too--showing the progression from bitter hatred to budding romance. I love that they don't immediately fall in love and start snogging at every single chance.
This story is extremely unique in that it is in first person. I was kind of anxious tosee how you would manage to pull it off, as I know some people have a hard time writing first person. You did it very well with both dignity and aplomb. And you took a risk by throwing Lily in a different light. She is blind to the inevitable, which I am forseeing has something to do with her boyfriend sneaking around. Naďve is not something Lily is particularly viewed as and it is very well done.
Congratulations and don't give up. You are an inspiration to non-cliche seekers everywhere.
Author's Response: Wow, what a wonderful review! Thanks! One of the things I was worried about when I started writing this was originality. True, it\'s not my p begin with, but I wanted to make it different after reading so many cliched James Lily fics. And I think first person is so much better. It makes me feel closer to the characters...thanks again for a great review!
Ack! Don't quit! Please! Or may the god Brahma strike you down! Sorry, irrelevant hinduism reference. I'm doing a project and wont bore you with the details. Anyways, this story is very inventive and creative and I deplore that it isn't done. I love the originality, thoughthere were some very obvious hints made at the end. Your food fight was well displayed and not overdone in the slightest though I must say your portrayal of Lily is making me tornin whether I like the chracter or not.
Author's Response: haha, I wont. *cowers at thought of being stricken down my Brahma* Lol, I\'m glad you like it. I think you\'ll like Lily a little better soon.