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dumbledorefluertwins [Contact]

Hi, I'm Evie. I'm fourteen and I live in Suffolk, England. I have loads of plot bunnies bouncing round my head, so I doubt I'll ever stop doing this! :D Have a read of my stories - go on, you know you want to! :p

I have many more original stories over at the-red-chair under the name apollo13 (which I also use on the forums) so please go and check them out.

I am available to beta, so just email me if you want something done - no slash or student/teacher pairings, please.

[Thank you to Abbi, Nikki and Amy!]
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Teddy - have a read, go on!

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Stories by dumbledorefluertwins [8]
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Reviews by dumbledorefluertwins

Always Off The Mark by Hermione_Rocks

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 7 Reviews
Summary: Merope Gaunt is sick of bending over backwards to please her family, is sick of always doing things wrong, is sick of always being off the mark. She mixes up a potion to change her life, hoping that maybe this time she's done something right.

Originally entered for the fifth New Year's Challenge, To Laugh or Cry.
Reviewer: dumbledorefluertwins Signed
Date: 09/24/07 Title: Chapter 1: Always Off The Mark

First off, I would like to say that the brewing of the potion was wonderful. I loved how you did it step by step.

My only crit (and it really is tiny) is that I would have liked to have seen her struggle with it a little more, as I assume that it is quite a difficult potion to make.

Nevertheless, I loved how she was constantly worrying about her father coming back, and what he would say if he knew what she was doing.

I also liked the whole banana bread thing - most would take Dumbledore's suggestion of a glass of water and use that, but you came up with your own idea.

I loved how she was forgetting Mrs Cole's name as well - that was a nice touch! Also, Merope laughing as she was dying was oddly fitting. I didn't think it would work, but, strangely, it does. I can't quite put my finger on it.

All in all, a really nice, well written fic!


Author's Response: Thanks for the nice review! Yes, Merope probably should have struggled a little more with the potion . . . I suppose it was her natural witch instincts kicking in, even before she knew she had them? ;) And the banana bread -- honestly, that was the first thing that popped into my head, and I only remembered that Dumbledore suggested water after sending this fic to my beta. :P

As to Merope laughing as she died, I wasn\'t sure if it would work either. I\'m glad you thought it did! After all, Riddle Jr.\'s must have gotten his insanity from someone, yeah? ;) Anywho, thanks again!

Harry Potter and the Veil of Death by fluorite

Rated: 6th-7th Years • 29 Reviews
Summary: It's Harry's seventh year, and the war has begun.
Reviewer: dumbledorefluertwins Signed
Date: 05/10/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1 - The Summer Like No Other

I like this begining - it's very suspensefull. Is that even a word? **shrugs**

Couple of things - I don't think Harry would write down stuff about the Order or the Horcruxes, in case it got into the wrong hands. I also got a bit bored at the top when you ran through who Harry was and stuff that had happened. Yeah, I know that's what Jo does, but everyone here pratically knows the books off by heart.

**runs off to read the next chapter**


Author's Response: Hi Evie. Thanks for reading. Keep going. I look forward to hearting more from you. Jeff >^.^<

We All Fall Down by _Ivy_

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 13 Reviews
Summary: A dark poem about the Second War and the horrors within. This is a slightly darker version of 'Ring Around The Rosies'.
Reviewer: dumbledorefluertwins Signed
Date: 05/16/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

That's beautiful! Although, I thought it was "ring-a-ring a roses, a pocket full of posies, atischu (sneezing sound :P), atischu, we all fall down!"? Meh, your version is cooler. :D


Author's Response: *sniff* You are too kind. Yeah, I\'ve heard that version before. *shurgs* I guess there are several different \'Ring Around The Rosies\' songs. Thanks!

Realizations by Sly Severus

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 6 Reviews
Summary: Attempting to complete an assignment for the Dark Lord, Bellatrix finds herself trapped in the Department of Mysteries. She is confronted with many obstacles and some ghosts from the past. However, she leaves feeling more sure of herself and her decisions than she ever has before.

An entry for Gauntlet 4 by Sly Severus of Slytherin.
Reviewer: dumbledorefluertwins Signed
Date: 05/19/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

aw, Sly! That was beautifull!! I love that whole Sirius thing, it's so sad! Good luck with the Gauntlet.

Come on Slytherin!!


Author's Response: Thanks, Evie. I really enjoyed slipping Sirius in there. He just fit in the prompt about the veil so well.

Anyway, thanks so much for the review and I\'m glad you enjoyed it. Good luck to you, too!

From Beyond The Veil by blackhairedweasley

Rated: 6th-7th Years • 16 Reviews
Summary: The Department of Mysteries holds many questions. Questions that could never be answered by some of the bravest and brightest witches and wizards of our age. But for some, there is one question, one fear, that is thought about every day. The one mystery that has brought misery and chaos, as well as inspiration, even joy.

But for Neville Longbottom, this mystery is not the end, but the beginning. And as Neville finds the path in his journey, he brings with him even more questions. Questions about life, death, and what lies beyond the Veil.

1st place winner of the Gauntlet's 4th run by BlackHairedWeasley of Slytherin House.
Reviewer: dumbledorefluertwins Signed
Date: 05/23/07 Title: Chapter 5: Epilogue -- Awake Once More

This is beautiful! You've made all us Slyths proud!! Good on you! Seriously, you'd better win after all the effort you've obvoiusly put into this.
I loved that whole "some things should stay a secret" thing - pure genius.


Author's Response: *sigh* I don\'t want to expect anything, you know, in case it doesn\'t happen. But then again, I really poured my heart out on this thing. All day at work today I was anxious to get home and see if the epilogue was validated.

Thanks for the support, Evie. I love my Slyths so much.

- Jacie the Cat

Unquenchable by fawkes_07

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 11 Reviews
Summary: Fawkes the Phoenix is sent on an errand. Written for the Gauntlet challenge #4.
Reviewer: dumbledorefluertwins Signed
Date: 05/20/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

**Squee!** That was beautiful! And so sad at the end when he see's Dumbledore! **tears up**

It must have been so hard to do it from Fawkes POV, you done so well!!

Good luck with the Gauntlet!

~Evie (apollo13)

Author's Response: Thanks!

Survival by Sarakime

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 6 Reviews
Summary: Draco is stumbling through the Department of Mysteries, struggling to get out alive. Will he be able to save his life, and survive the tasks thrown upon him during his fearful stay in the mysterious rooms? Or will he die trying?
Reviewer: dumbledorefluertwins Signed
Date: 05/21/07 Title: Chapter 1: Survival

YAY! It's up! This was so good - even if it was only four prompts. You made us Slyths proud!


Author's Response: Wow! Yay review!! Thank you so much, Evie! *huggles*

Deep in the Department of Mysteries by Cheshlin

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 3 Reviews
Summary: Nymphadora Tonks is sent to the Department of Mysteries to meet someone for her boss, Kingsley Shacklebolt. Unfortunately she isn't given directions as to how to find him. This leads her to wander lost through rooms she had no idea existed.

This was written for the 4th run of the Gauntlet by Cheshlin of Slytherin House.
Reviewer: dumbledorefluertwins Signed
Date: 05/24/07 Title: Chapter 1: The DOM

YAY! Another Slytherin Gauntlet entry! This was wonderfull - I loved Declan's little speech at the end!


Author's Response: Evie, thanks for such a nice review. I\'m glad you liked Declan. He has made a cameo in MANY of my stories, starting with one originally about the DOM. Cyns

A Marauder's Tale by NctnlBst

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 12 Reviews
Summary: James and the Marauders are planning their biggest and boldest stunt to date. Their target... Professor Dumbledore. Lily Evans suspects that they are up to something, but is not sure what. Will the Marauders succeed or will Lily be able to foil their plans?
Reviewer: dumbledorefluertwins Signed
Date: 05/30/07 Title: Chapter 1: Project Headmaster

I really want to read this, because it sounds so cool, but I really can't when it's a mass of text. I did try, but I kept losing my place. :(


Author's Response: Hmmm, not quite sure what happened with the coding. I\'ll go back through and fix it, and contact the mods to see what happened.

Still searching by Hokey

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 2 Reviews
Summary: Gauntlet entry round 4

by Hokey of Slytherin
Reviewer: dumbledorefluertwins Signed
Date: 05/29/07 Title: Chapter 1: Still searching

**tears up** Harry's dead? **wails**

Actually, I loved that whole, doing it for Harry thing that you wove into the story, it added a lovely touch, although I'm a bit confused as to why she was there.

Not that that's a bad thing - in my Gauntlet the reader doesn't know diddley-squat. :p

This was a really dark, beautiful Gauntlet - good luck, fellow Slyth! :D


Author's Response: Aww! *huggles Evie* I can\'t believe you actually made it through mine =P I\'ve planned to read all the Slyth Gauntlets when I have time (but there are so many! Go us! =D ) I\'m glad you enjoyed my über-long story. Thank you so much! *huggles again* *gives cupcake of thankfulness* <3

To Achieve Perfection by emmaholloway

Rated: 6th-7th Years • 122 Reviews
Summary: All her life Ginny has tried to live up to the expectations set by those around her, and more importantly herself. When Harry breaks up with her Ginny thinks she realises what she must do to acheive this perfection but this soon turns into an obsession she can't escape.

Warning: The main focus of this Story is on the effects of an eating disorder, if you get easily upset by such issues I suggest you dont read.

Disclaimer: All characters and plots ect recognised as belonging to JK Rowling do belong to her and I give her full credit.
*Chapters 1 and 2 have been edited*
Reviewer: dumbledorefluertwins Signed
Date: 08/22/07 Title: Chapter 2: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Well, I don't want to be rude or moral crushing or anything here, but as someone who has suffered from Anorexia, I think it's all happening too fast.

Firstly, you do not lose five pounds in one week from not eating. When you do not eat, you body kicks into survival mode because it thinks it's starving, and stores fat, so you do not lose or put on any weight.

Secondly, many anorexic girls do not just decide "I am no longer going to eat." Those girls that do are often rather attention seeking and it only lasts a couple of days. A true anorexic girl (or boy, it happens to boys too) will start off just eating a little less food than normal, and then a little less, and then a little less and so on, because they see themselves as greedy. Or I did anyway.

I hope you don't think I'm being terribly rude here or anything, I'm just trying to help. :)


Author's Response: No I don\'t think you are being rude at all. I completely understand what you are saying. So some things I shall explain. The first five lbs Ginny lost was mainly water weight and food weight, which is why after a week she stopped loosing. Also, I think survival mode is pretty much rubbish. The reason your body stores fat is so it can be used as energy when your body has nothing else to live on. So it really does not make sense. Your second point. At the moment Ginny is not eating very much at all because she does not understand her body and she has got it into her head that if she does not eat anything she will loose lots of weight. As the story progresses she will begin to come up with diet plans and strategies as she begins to understand what she is doing and then she will start to cut down from that even more. I think I have a picture of what Ginny was like before in my head, which can\'t be explained because of the narrative. Obviously I need to find a way to put that in to one of the later chapters. Thanks for reading anyway. And I\'m glad you have recovered. emma x x x

The Longest Night of the Year by Cedrics Lover

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 16 Reviews
Summary: Four 5th year girls, each with different struggles, trying to make it through another year of Hogwarts. This year, though, they face a challenge that could tear their friendships apart. With the Triwizard Tournament, The Yule Ball, cute boys (Oh No!), and a plethora of other things, it's survival of the fittest at Hogwarts this year. Are they going to make it? I'm not going to tell you, you need to read it to find out for yourself! This is my first fan fic, please read and review. Also, check out the companion, A Prank A Day Keeps the Doctor Away, by Marmara.
Reviewer: dumbledorefluertwins Signed
Date: 06/09/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1: Letters and Customers

I don't want to be mean, but I find all of the girls very Mary-Sue-ish. Especially scince the main character is called Serena **gags**.

I must say, though, for your first fic it's very good. Just... take the characters to the character clinic on the forums.


Author's Response: Thank you for your opinions. They get more developed as the story goes on (it is only the first chapter)

Author's Response: Also, I just think you ought to know, but Serena is named after me. Just FYI.

Of Love Notes and Bottle Caps by Microfatcat

Rated: 6th-7th Years • 22 Reviews
Summary: Harry gets given a shoebox of Lily's junk. To him half of it should go straight in the bin because it means nothing to him, but had it meant anything to Lily?
Reviewer: dumbledorefluertwins Signed
Date: 07/15/07 Title: Chapter 3: A Bottle Cap

This was really good - I love this fic. One nit-pick I have though, is that Sirius wouldn't be able to get into the girls dorms. :) Although it was very funny.


Author's Response: I did wonder at that myself, but then thought that he could\'ve flown or something. I\'m glad you like the fic, thanks for reviewing Jane xx :)

Loving her laugh by throughandthrough

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 18 Reviews
Summary: Ron and Hermione finally get around to discussing something they have been meaning to discuss for years.
Some musings and finally the admission.

Set the day before Bill and Fleur's wedding.
Reviewer: dumbledorefluertwins Signed
Date: 07/22/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This was a really good first-time fic. It takes a lot of talent to be able to write decent romance for the first time.

“That’s behind us now. Lets enjoy the moment Hermione and look to the future, that’s all we can really control.”

I thought that this was a bit OOC for Ron to say. It sounded too wise... to Hermione like. And also a little cheesy. :o

Also, there should be comma's surronding the name Hermione. :)

I also had a minor problem with the kiss - I know a lot of fics have these sweet, tender kiss including, admittidly, one of my own, but first kisses are usually quite awkward and clumsy affairs, and if you add something like them both tilting their heads the same way, it can make it a bit more realistic.

Anyways, it was really good for a first fic, let alone for a first romance, I was really quite impressed. :)


Harry Potter and the Castle of Dreams by starkllr

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 121 Reviews
Summary: Voldemort has been defeated, but that doesn't mean life will be simple or easy for Harry...
Reviewer: dumbledorefluertwins Signed
Date: 05/02/08 Title: Chapter 8: Professor Weasley and Professor Weasley

Really good! Can't wait for next chapter! Slight thing - considoring Arthur's seeming lack of knowledge for all things muggle, is he really the best teacher?! :p But really, this was really good, as usual. You do us Slyths proud. ;)


Author's Response: Thanks!\r\n\r\nArthur\'s main qualification is his enthusiasm and liking for Muggles and their devices. His actual knowledge and competence is less important than the fact that he loves Muggles, and my take on things is that that\'s what the Ministry wants to get across to students, especially after Voldemort.

Of That Which Matters Most by rard

Rated: 6th-7th Years • 34 Reviews
Summary: As war rages around them, Remus and Tonks are pulled along with the tide. New, prejudical laws are passed, and the couple must take drastic action in order to stay together. When the climactic battle arrives, Tonks must make an impossible, heartbreaking choice. Follow the couple through the timeframe of Deathly Hallows. DH spoilers abound!

As the outline has expanded, the originally intended three chapters of this story have turned into twelve chapters of R/T goodness. :-)

Chapter 6 has been sumitted!
Reviewer: dumbledorefluertwins Signed
Date: 06/14/08 Title: Chapter 1: Bittersweet

hey, isn't the part when Harry says "parents shouldn't leave their children unless they've got to" AFTER Remus left?

apart from that, really good, you captured the emotions so well. I love Remus, even if he is a bit silly.



OAF: Operation April Fools by The REAL Weasley Twins

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • 86 Reviews
Summary: For the past six years, Lily Evans has put up with James Potter's pranking. But as her seventh year commences, she decides it's time to give James a taste of his own medicine.

Chapter 7 has finally been submitted!

A tiny sneek peek:

"Oh, come on now! Lily thought. “Just kiss me already,” she said audibly. James froze at her words and she, embarrassed beyond belief that her thoughts had spilled from her mouth, sat entirely still."

Reviewer: dumbledorefluertwins Signed
Date: 09/20/07 Title: Chapter 1: A Plan is Formed

Okay, apart from one thing, this story is the makings of genius. Seriously, it's wonderful in every aspect, apart from one tiny little thing...

HEAD DORMS! GAH! I'm sorry, but I cannot stand them! There's no mention of them in canon, and I doubt that Dumbledore would allow two hormonal teens sleep in such close proximities.

BUT apart from that, I look greatly forward to reading more from this story. It sounds like it has an interesting and orginal plot (that's almost unheard of in Lily/James fics...) and it sounds like it's going to be really funny.

Just watch out for more cliches such as Head dorms.


Author's Response: Aw, thanks a lot! I plan to do a bit more with the head dorms which was the reason that I put them into the story in the first place, but I do respect and appreciate your warnings. It means a lot to me that you think that OAF is interesting and original! Thank you for your nice and helpful comment. :)

Teddy's Gift by SiriusRadcliffe

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 77 Reviews
Summary: The war may be over, but the true fight is just beginning. Two hearts, still searching for the truth, are brought together by the most unexpected person. And in the end, destiny overtakes them. From the imaginations of Miss Radcliffe and SiriusBlack1113 comes a story of love, passion, heartbreak, and healing.
Reviewer: dumbledorefluertwins Signed
Date: 05/01/08 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Sunrise

Really good - one small note, Teddy's name is not Theodore. While the name Theo is common in Britian, it is not shortened to Ted. Ted is a full name. Plus, if Ted's name was Theodore, Remus would have said so in DH.


Theodore Lupin and the Untamed Secret by melodrome

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 15 Reviews
Summary: It's Teddy Lupin's first year at Hogwarts. As far as Teddy can tell, there aren't any teachers with two faces, and Hagrid doesn't seem to be raising dragons in his hut, but even before classes start, life at Hogwarts proves to remain very interesting.
Reviewer: dumbledorefluertwins Signed
Date: 10/10/07 Title: Chapter 1: On the Hogwarts Express

I'm going to start off with two crits, 'cause I'm mean like that.

First, Teddy's full name isn't Theodore - it's just Ted. Honestly. I know someone called Ted, and I'm sure if it was actually Theodore, it would be mention in the books, and they would also call him Theo, instead of Teddy.

Secondly, I don't think Harry would exactly know which compartment Teddy was going into. ;) They always search for compartments in the books, so I don't think that they are given one.

The Twinge by MagEd

Rated: 3rd-5th Years • 73 Reviews
Summary: Some say to follow your heart, others think it best to follow your head. And what does Ginny Weasley believe? A short history of Ginny Weasley and how she learned to follow the twinge, from her first kiss to the day when Harry almost died. *one-shot*
Reviewer: dumbledorefluertwins Signed
Date: 10/28/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

It was wonderful! The entire thing was brilliant - my only nit-pick would be that the final battle took place at night, as the dawn rose just as Voldie kicked the bucket. ;)

Other than that, Ginny was perfectly IC, so well done you! :D


Author's Response: Thanks very much, and I\'ll have to fix that! ;)