Hi, I'm Evie. I'm fourteen and I live in Suffolk, England. I have loads of plot bunnies bouncing round my head, so I doubt I'll ever stop doing this! :D Have a read of my stories - go on, you know you want to! :p
I have many more original stories over at the-red-chair under the name apollo13 (which I also use on the forums) so please go and check them out.
I am available to beta, so just email me if you want something done - no slash or student/teacher pairings, please.
[Thank you to Abbi, Nikki and Amy!]
[Thank you Suzie/Crazy-purple-hp-freak!]
[Thank you Abbi/babekitty92!]
[Thank you Claire!]
[Thank you Colores!]
Teddy - have a read, go on!
I love this story. It's so sweet and simple, it really shows the love between Molly and Arthur, but without them kissing, which is very hard to do. But, it works so well.
I loved the whole thing where Arthur didn't really think he was good enough, but without the clichéd attempted break-up. It was very good.
The idea of Molly have lots of admirers is very plausible, as is the idea of her parents not approving - Ginny did say in HBP that Molly and Arthur eloped.
This is a distinctive, original story, which mimics the style of Jo Rowling really well, and is in line with canon, as far as we know.
I especially like that whole thing of the Wizarding World ripping off the muggles with credit card fraud! So funny! If only that were true! I did find it a bit odd that credit card fraud was pretty common in that period, but, at the end of the day, I’m not really sure when that time period was, or if they had credit card so I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.
I loved that last line. It was so clever and romantic; it brought a smile across my face. I love Molly/Arthur stories, and I only wish there were more like this one.
You have the characterization done perfectly, you have a brilliant plot, and you have a wonderful style of writing. All in all, this is a fantastic fic.
'Harry, you prat,' by Croyez.
Croyez shows a different, less typical view of the often dubbed "delusional" ship of Harry/Hermione. Croyez shows a fic that is not canon in any way (aside from characterization, but we'll get onto that), yet is still believable to a certain extent.
I say to a certain extent, because while everything is very well explained, it is a one-shot, and therefore the feelings Harry experiences for Hermione move very quickly - too quickly for real life.
However, the subtle change of emotions is done well, especially for average length one-shot. We see Harry progress from seeing Hermione as a best friend, to a possible girlfriend throughout the fic, though, thankfully, without some awful cliché ruining the fic.
Croyez generally has characterization nailed, an aspect rarely seen in romance one-shots. However, as with every story, there are kinks.
Harry, while at first glance seems to be in character, proves otherwise when studied more closely. Take particular note of this quote;
[i]“I–you know I wouldn’t lie about this, especially now that I know what you and Ron were talking about. Honestly, Hermione, I would have never meant to hurt you,” he sighed again, feeling frustrated, “I mean…I don’t feel the way you think I do about what you said. It was odd–and a shock–but then I thought about it and…well, it just felt…right. I–argh…I don’t know how to explain it, but I just…sort of like the idea…of you and me…”[/i]
This, spookily, is a mirror image of how many of us would see Ron professing his love to Hermione; stuttering and stumbling over his words, along with the oh-so-famous red ears. But it is not Ron that says this, it's Harry, who is usually in control of his words, and, when around girls (think Cho Chang) prefers to say nothing at all, bringing out those dreaded awkward silences.
Ron seems to be in character - thankfully, Croyez seems to have taken note of what many other Harry/Hermione shippers seemed to have missed; Ron DOES like Hermione, there's no denying it. Unfortunately, I was rather surprised at how quickly Ron was forgotten. What with Ginny having a key role through the fic, note one thought was spared for Ron by Harry, a rather worrying thought, as Harry has always cared deeply for the feelings of others, again, shown well in this fic. Although the small scene between Ron and Harry was absolutely perfect, I'd have liked to have seen Ron being at least thought about later on in the fic.
The aspect of Ginny is done perfectly. I have to admit, I was surprised to find that she was in the fic, as many Harry/Hermione authors tend to make her, no pun intended, magically disappear, there by giving Harry and Hermione to shack up with out feeling guilty, which as we all know, would not happen.
Although Harry's feelings for Ginny are slightly OOC and contradictory to HBP, they do fit in nicely with the story and flow very well with the whole underlying debate - Hermione or Ginny?
The best part of this fic, however, was the very last paragraph. It has that simple beauty and wisdom to it that every author tries to capture, but rarely manages. But Croyez does manage it, and word perfectly, mimicking the style of Jo Rowling at the end of HBP.
All in all, when told that the review must be for a non-canon romance, I automatically picked Harry/Hermione, thinking that you couldn't get more non-canon than that. Croyez, however, has proved me drastically wrong, showing how, even in canon; there is still room for a little romance between Harry and Hermione.
~Evie/ dumbledorefluertwins/ apollo13
Yay! it's up! Beautiful one shot!
Author's Response: Yea!!! :) Thanks Evie! I couldn\'t have done this without your help. ~Julia~
I'm really confused; what the hell is going on?? Is Voldie dead? How did Harry kill him? Why didn't he meet up with Ginny? And considoring Ginny hasn't seen him in three years she doesn't seem very shocked to see him... more like they bumped into one another on the way to the shops. Ok, bad stuff over! I like your style of writing and I think you have Harrry's character spot on with his frustration at Ron. I'm going straight to the next chapter and I desperatly hope some of my questions will be answered!!
Still confused, but still want to read more. Please update as soon as the queue opens!!
**sing song voice** I've solved the riddle (I've always been good at them!lol) is it voldies wand?!?!
This is a very good story - can't wait 'till you update!!
Author's Response: Yay, you solved it(don\'t tell!, haha). I\'m not very good at writing riddles, I\'m afraid. But the next chapter is almost done! Sorry to say that Ron, Harry, and Hermione aren\'t very adept at solving the riddle. I\'m glad you enjoyed it!
Ahhhhh! Lovely! Is that the story finished now? :( But I want more!!! It was a fantastic fic anyway - you're a really gifted writer to manage to write such high quality chapters and update so often! I'll miss not getting an email a week saying my favorite fic has been updated!
A Kissed Mouth. by m00n_un1t_luna (I'm going to shorten this to moon ;))
I have saved my favourite story to review until last. This fic is beautiful, and, in my eyes, flawless. I’ll try and keep it short and sweet (yeah, right, you know how much I ramble when I love a story), just like the fic.
Neville and Luna are two characters that everyone believes should and will get together, despite what Jo Rowling says. However, few of us dare to venture into writing this ship, for the simple reason that both Luna and Neville are difficult characters to write in romance. But moon has done it. And done it magnificently.
[Quote]When she rambles like this I hardly hear it. I do listen, but I can’t help being distracted by her face. There is such calm in those eyes. [/Quote] As you can see from this quote, moon has that amazing gift of writing something very simple and making it into something so overwhelming that you have to stop reading and smile.
We see Neville and Luna simply sitting and talking, although, it is a rather odd discussion, but what do you expect with Luna? It is that simple, un-clichéd element that makes this story so immensely powerful.
Despite the title, there is no proper kissing. They come extremely close, but they don't actually have a proper snog. It reminds me so much of Pride and Prejudice, and who can deny that is one of the greatest love stories ever written?
[Quote] “This summer, Daddy has decided that we should go to the Pyrenees to scout for the Flat Toed Bibbersnout.” [/Quote]
This sounds so much like Luna, I wouldn't be surprised if moon was Jo herself. As we can see, moon has perfect characterization - something that is very hard to find when I'm reviewing a story! Neville sounds so unbelievably sweet, and his inner wonder and curiosity is done wonderfully.
All in all, moon has done that special thing with romance. It's a unique, thought-provoking story, that is both simple and complicated in it's own way. Who else can have the skill that moon does, to write a romance with no kisses (only short ones on the corner of the mouth) and no cheesy "I love you"'s? That is the reason I recommend his fic to anyone and everyone.
Written for the review challenge on the forums.
~Evie/ apollo13/ dumbledorefluertwins
Author's Response: Awww...I seriously cried after this (then, being the dork I am, I showed it to all my friends). Thank you very much, this is the sweetest review I\'ve gotten yet! On any of my fics! I\'m going to go eat ice cream to celebrate my happiness!
And if any of you thought to check and see if my game of Eenie, Meenie, Minie, Moe worked out correctly when you put each word to each girl, it does! Go ahead, check!
Lol, I checked when I was reading it! My dad thought I was mad, I was pointing at the screen. I know a different, shorter version, though.
Eenie, Meenie, Minie, Moe, catch a tiger by his toe, if he squeals, let him go, Eenie Meenie, Minie, Moe, you are it.
**shudders** Creepy! All I can think of now is a DE! This is a really orginal Marauder Era fic - you should be very proud of yourself! :D
Author's Response: I\'m glad you checked! :) Thanks for the review.
Neither can live while the other survives... It is the beginning of Harry's quest for the remaining Horcruxes, and a year in which he may uncover surprising truths about Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore--even Moaning Myrtle. Harry is running out of time in his search for the broken soul, and will he ever be ready for the final encounter with Lord Voldemort?
Write more, write soon! This is a really good fic and I can't for the life of me understand why it only has 19 reviews - it deserves so many more than that! You have the characterisation perfect for all of them and have really cool, orginal plot ideas.
I'm so adding you to my favorites!
Author's Response: Wow, now that\'s what I call an inspiring review! Thanks so much! As for why I have only 19 reviews, I don\'t really know, lol. I have 137 on fanfiction.net to date! Just one of those things :) thanks again for the review, I loved it!
oh! I thought it was Hermione's POV at first! It could work either way! Very good read!
Author's Response: Thank you very much!
oooooh! I want to find out where she is! The flames kinda reminded me of that scene in sleeping beauty when whats-her-name goes throught the fireplace thingy and the three little fat faries bang on the wall stupidly before finally remebering that they can actually just wave their wand. I just read that through and realised how sad I sound. Oh, well! Love the sound of your story - update soon!
Author's Response: Unfortunately, you won\'t find out where she is for a few chapters, the next ones are based around Harry and Ron looking for her, but keep reading coz it should be good! I\'ll update ASAP, but i have exams so bare with me!
I love it - the cat's McGonagall, right? Update soon!!!!!!
Author's Response: Good you see you thinking and trying to discover the meaning behind the cat. All speculation, at this point, is welcome. Answers however will be a while in coming. Your patience will be rewarded!
Who's her mother?!?! It's obviously not Ginny - I think she'd know if she had a kid, lol
Author's Response: Sorry, wish I could tell you... but that would ruin the surprise, wouldn\'t it? *winks* Keep reading to find out...
The opening scene where Lily and Sirius are swinging Leah is based off when I was little and would beg my older sister and brother to swing me and they could never say no. :)
I used to do that to my sister!! But she's got to heavy now! I love this story and I'm desperatly waiting for the next chapter! You write the characters so well, I can't wait to see what Ginny's planning. Dick is such a...well, a dick. He reminds me of a boy in my year at school, you know... thinks you'll go out with him even though he called you a bitch the day before...
Anyways, love it - hurry with the next chapter!
Author's Response: I\'m the youngest of four so I always got spoiled by my older siblings and I adored them in return. Thanks for the review, I\'m glad you like it and kind find reality within it.
A good chapter, just like the last one, but I'm confused; I thought this was a post hogwarts story? I can undrstand you having a couple of chapters as a prolouge but this seems to be going into a lot of detail. Anyways I love your writing style and I think you've got Harrys character spot on! I also like the little Ron/Hermione hint at the end - Very JK Rowling!
That was HILARIOUS! I loved it so much and could just picture it in my head. I burst out laughing when my dad was revising for his test for uni, so now he's really angry at me... whoops, oh well, it was worth it!
Author's Response: sorry about making your dad mad at you, but I am so glad you liked it!
Aunt Petunia has a cat? I thought she hated animals? Oh, well. Loved the story and I can't wait for an update!
Author's Response: Good pick up sorry i didnt realise but thanks hope you enjoy the rest!
Wow, this poem is so beautiful and just how Ginny would react. I love it so much!
Author's Response: Thanks!
NO! He can't leave Ginny for Luci! Traitor!!!
You have a good fic here, I love the action and lively dialouge, something that I struggle with in my writing. I think you need to watch your Americanisms now and again, but on the whole, you grammar is very good, which is nice to see.
Author's Response: Hi Evie! That is a marvelous name, by the way. Thanks for the compliments. What Americanisms are you referring to? I will definitely try to avoid them! And now I\'m off to check out The Third War! Cheers! *Sunny*