Hi, I'm Evie. I'm fourteen and I live in Suffolk, England. I have loads of plot bunnies bouncing round my head, so I doubt I'll ever stop doing this! :D Have a read of my stories - go on, you know you want to! :p
I have many more original stories over at the-red-chair under the name apollo13 (which I also use on the forums) so please go and check them out.
I am available to beta, so just email me if you want something done - no slash or student/teacher pairings, please.
[Thank you to Abbi, Nikki and Amy!]
[Thank you Suzie/Crazy-purple-hp-freak!]
[Thank you Abbi/babekitty92!]
[Thank you Claire!]
[Thank you Colores!]
Teddy - have a read, go on!
Summary: Takes place between Harry's 5th and 6th years. This story is H/G primarily, but could be categorized as AU at this point as it takes place in the summer after Harry’s 5th year. Harry has just learned of the prophecy, and is trying to come to grips with the fact that something as ordinary as love can be his greatest weapon.
Good story - little hint, though, in your summary you've spelt prophecy with an s, instead of a c.
Author's Response: Thanks for catching that. I have gone in and fixed it.\r\n\r\nDeej
Summary: This story picks up at the end of Chapter Thirty- Six in the Deathly Hallows. Do not read if you have not read Deathly Hallows. It will spoil that book for you.
Harry wants to date Ginny now that Voldemort is dead ,but how will that conflict with his new job as an Auror? Ginny has to go back to school but not before some major changes in her life.
Hermione kissed Ron in the middle of the final battle. Does that mean that they are now dating?
Ron will also have to decide if he wants to work for his best friend, or his brother, who just lost his best friend.
Arthur, Kingsley, and McGonagall all have new jobs, and someone still needs to lead the Order of the Phoenix. There are also a lot of escaped Death Eaters to hunt down.
So many answers to be had and so many more questions to be asked, you will have to read to find out.
**J. K. Rowling owns these characters and locations, I just get to play with them.**
Hmm. Well, it was a pretty good start, but I'd just like to comment on a few things.
Firstly, it all seemed very rushed. Considoring your summary, I would have thought that there would be a problem with Ron and Hermione and Harry and Ginny getting back together. It all seemed over very quickly. I romance fic can't really just be *BANG* the couple's together, it has to be a bit slower than that, and there have to be obstacles to overcome. Think Pride and Prejudice - it would have been rubbish if Lizzy and Mr Darcy had got together at the first ball, bnecause then the entire plot would have been over.
Secondly, I think it unlikely that Harry would just march up to Ginny and snog her - he'd probably be a little wary, and worried that she was with someone else, or had given up on him and no longer liked him.
Apart from those two points, I think you have a nice fic shaping up. Your grammar seems to be pretty good, and I liked the way Voldemort was... dealt with... *Grins evilly*
Look forward to reading more!
Author's Response: Thanks alot. I assure you there is a reason that everyone got together so fast. It will come eventually. Harry kissing Ginny like that was a reference to HBP. Also in HBP and DH Ginny made it quite clear that she was going to wait for Harry. I am glad you liked how Voldy was dealt with, I really enjoyed writing that.
Summary: It was June Eleventh. A day Harry did not want to remember… the day of Albus Dumbledore’s death. They were at Platforms Nine and Ten, walking through the barrier onto Nine and three Quarters. Harry was dropping off his young wizards and soon witches. He'd received a letter of Hogwarts after this at home, a letter that would change his world completely. But, it was his decision.
Er... doesn't term start in September, not June? Other than that, good, interesting start.
Author's Response: Thanks. Didn\'t notice that one, but I guess this year it can start in a different month. =]
Summary: After fighting the biggest battle of his life, Harry Potter finds himself in new, uncharted territory. Beginning a week after the final battle at Hogwarts, Harry finds himself with many choices before him. He spent the summer trying to sort out his future with Ginny and the Ministry, but now must find a way to balance both. Ginny has left for Hogwarts to complete her final year, with Hermione, and Harry is starting work as a full-fledged Auror. They both must find a way to make their long-distance relationship work. Ginny hopes to find peace at school and Harry hopes to build his life around the expectation that Ginny will be with him forever. Despite all of this, there is more to the work that Harry is doing with the Ministry then he realises. Will Gaunt prove trustworthy in these new endeavours? Will Ginny and Hermione have a horror-free year at Hogwarts?
Gaunt - wouldn't be related to good ol' Voldie would he?
Author's Response: I\'m afraid you will have to wait and see - thanks for the comment :)
Summary: After the war, everyone struggles to move on. Harry and Ginny realize what they need to make it and they realize how different their lives will be.
A one-shot about Harry's Eighteenth Birthday written in Ginny's POV. ***Somehow the end of this story got deleted, it is back now. Sorry for the confusion.
This was a really lovely, sweet, fluffy idea. Harry seemed to be mostly in canon, but Ginny not so much. She doesn't seem the type that would cry so easily, over a silly comment - maybe if it had been said a week after, but not a good few months.
Also, there was a repeative grammar mistake - when a character is speaking to another, a comma should come before the name or term of endearment, eg:
"Happy birthday, Harry."
"Sure, hunny," And since when does Mrs Weasley call Ginny hunny?! That's something that young mothers or American mothers usually call their children, not quite an old English woman. ;)
Apart from those little nit-picks, I really enjoyed it, and look forward to your future works. :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your suggestions! I have made a few changes, but as for Ginny being in cannon.....I think that when someone you love dies, it takes a very long time to recover. Ginny is a very strong character and wouldn\'t cry for just anything, but I think Hermione\'s comment brings about the reality of her brothers death, but that\'s just my take on it. Thanks so much for your honesty!
Summary: Sometimes it just takes one person to open your eyes...
Oh, it's what you do to me.
Ipswich!?!?! I live there!! :D Well, near there. ;)
Lovely story, really sweet.
Author's Response: Lol, cool! Thank you!
Summary: Harry, Ron, and Hermione have survived what should have been their seventh year at Hogwarts. Most of their friends survived, too. It soon becomes apparent that there are matters to attend to following the death of Voldemort, some of which will not be pleasant. What will happen to the trio and their friends during The Following Year?
I think that this story has the makings of being something wonderful, but I have one small crit. I think that the dramatic speeches and such that the characters say aren't really IC. They seem too thought out, too wise for something spur of the moment, and they are only teenagers, even if they have seen a lot. While I think these speeches are perfect in essentials, I do not think it IC for the characters to say them - they would think them, sure, but things like this:
“I can never thank the two of you enough. You stuck by me, all the way through the end. I don’t think I would have survived without you… in fact, I am confident I would have stood little chance. You were both brilliant, and you have my undying gratitude and love.”
I think that would have worked well if you had just stopped at "I don't think I would have survived without you," and just had Harry think the rest. It's not really quite like Harry to wear his heart on his sleeves like that, and those speeches plus the constant crying seem a little odd.
Apart from that (Yes, I know, it's just me being fussy;-) ), I cannot wait to read more, and I find your story pretty darn believable. ;)
Author's Response: Thanks for the kind review, Evie! When I read your review (and others) I too noticed that Harry was a little OC. In my mind (as stated in my previous response) Harry has grown enough to be freer with his emotions through the series. However, I may work to bring him more IC as the story progresses. Thanks again for the review! -- TheJester
Summary: Just in time for the Holidays, Slytherin House presents a closer look at Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. A gift from our house to yours.
This is a compilation of One-Shots done by various Slytherins. Happy Holidays!
Wonderful leahsm2! You make Slytherin proud! :D
Aw, so sad! Great job on this, Cheslin - both Molly and Andromeda seem to be in character, which is nice. ;)
Very believable, dear.
Summary: Christmas Eve finds the Weasley family along with Harry and Hermione getting Grimmauld Place ready for Christmas. Amongst the excitement there are five unknown visitors watching from the shadows. One of them wants to make himself known. Will it be a memorable holiday for one of the Weasleys or will it be disaterous?
Aw, so sad and happy at the same time! A lovely Christmas tale, Nicole! I loved Fred's reaction to Lily and James! It was perfect. The entire thing was perfect. ;)
Good luck with the challenge - you've made us Slythies proud! :D
Author's Response: *grins* Thanks Evie! *hugs* I appreciate that you took the time to shoot me a review, as promised, hehe. I am still getting used to writing anything involving anyone from the Marauder era so my take on them may be a bit off but I am willing to learn. Have a great holiday! ~Nicole
Right before she runs off to battle, Tonks writes a letter to Teddy.
Aw, this was so emotional and just like Tonks! I can so see Teddy reading this as a teenager or something. My only nitpick is that "mommy" is an Americanism, and should be "mummy", and probably should be capitilized as well. ;)
Apart from that, it's so lovely, and you've created such a brilliant one shot. :)
Author's Response: thanks for the tip! and im happy you liked it.
Summary: Harry hears another prophecy from an unexpected source and its contents will change the course of the war whether he wants it to or not.
It's Horcruxes, not Horocruxes.
Author's Response: thank you
Summary: Redemption has always had a funny ring to it...
Being disowned by her parents after a rather revealing and emotionally burdening event, Noël Potter struggles to rise above her outcast status, find financial security by fighting in an Underground illegal league of brawling, and eventually find a way back into the good grace of her family.
Well, I'm intrigued to say the least - especially what she could possibly have done so badly that Harry would disown her.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading!
Summary: Fifteen year old Emma Lovett hates Regulus Black. He's an arrogant jerk with an ego the size of Asia. Or at least, he was. When Emma starts her fifth year at Hogwarts, Regulus' behavior seems to have changed a bit. She begins to think that Regulus might not be so bad. Of course, no one but her diary ever needs to know what she thinks.
Aw, lovely, Bella! Really funny in places! :D Look forward to more...
Author's Response: Thank you! I\'ll have chapter two up.... When my brain stops being on strike. Glad you like it!\r\n\r\n~Bella
Summary: Victoire has always won everything, maybe even something of Teddy's.
Awwww! So sweet! I love Teddy so much!
It was very clever, the whole win/victory thing, and it does sound like something Bill and Fluer's daughter would do.
I have a few crtisms (because I'm nasty like that), but nothing too mahor.
1) They live in England, there fore when Teddy is talking about Fluer, he should say "your mum", not "your mom".
2) While the Canadian boy was a nice idea, and certainly a plausiable thing to happen, I was a bit confused about why a Canadian boy would randomly come and stay. I mean, I know they speak French in Canada, but it just seems a little funny, considoring the the Delecours are from France; it would make a little more sense if it was a French boy, and then you could have had a little jealousy with the fact that they would speak only in French to each other, so Teddy woulf be left out and feel threatened that they were talking about him.
3) Although Teddy's speech at the end was really sweet, it was a little unbelievable and (dare I say it) slightly cheesy. Although you managed to balance this off reasonably well with Teddy feeling like an idiot, it is very unlikely that he would just grab her and spout all that off to her. That's just my opinion though.
I LOVED the fact that he was talking to Victoire, and that it is in present tense - it seems to suit Teddy, doesn't it? The movement from memory to "present day" was so smooth and well written.
Author's Response: Thank you!\r\n\r\n1) I changed the \'mom\'. I\'m usually pretty good about it, but I am American, so I do miss it somethings. Thanks for the correction!\r\n\r\n2) Haha. I just had a Canadian boy because an American is a cliche. I didn\'t even think of French! It would have been better. I just wanted there to be someone to make Teddy jealous and show Dominique and Victoire\'s relationship. It came in the form of a Canadian exchange student. :]\r\n\r\n3) Haha, yeah. I can see where that\'s coming from. It is a little cheesy, but I wouldn\'t say completely implausible. I think he knew that was the way to get her. What else could he do but explain his feelings/actions? \r\n\r\nAnyway, thank you so much! I really appreciate your feedback! Not many people take the effort to do so.\r\n:D
Summary: Lily Potter spends her days waiting -- waiting for what will or will not come.
Aw, so sad! Harry could have had a sister!
Author's Response: I know :[
Summary: Lily must make a life and death decision after her affair.
It's well written, but it seems really OOC for Lily, and also I got the impression from DH that Lily never knew that Snape loved her.
Lily doesn't seem the sort to sneak about having affairs and aborting children. If her marriage was that unhappy, she'd leave it. She seems like a very spirited and determind woman, and playing two men about like is not something she'd do.
Summary: Every morning Ron arrives at the shop and wakes up George with a cup of tea. One morning, however, George doesn't wake up.
This started as a 500 word drabble for my DADA class and turned into a 2000 word one-shot instead, before becoming two chapters. The prompt for my drabble was to use an overdose so be warned that this fic is not a happy one. It is actually I lot darker than I really imagine the Weasley family being after the war, but this is what came out when I started writing and I think it is possible.
please note that the warning is for attempted suicide only
An epilogue has arrived and I promise that I have now finished, though I have found this interesting to write so I may carry on with this version of the Weasley family at some point
This is really good, dear. :) I think you captured Ron's worry very well. I especially like how it started out as a normal day, as if nothing was wrong. The one thing I would crit you on, however, is at the start. You don't need to go through every single step of Ron making a cup of tea. ;) There is good detial and un-needed detail, and this wasn't especially needed. Other than that, really good, and I like how you left the reader hanging. :)
~Evie/apollo13 (Don't ask me why I have different names, it's a long and complicated story.)
Author's Response: I think you could be right about the tea-making - when it started off as a drabble I was heading for an `everything is completely normal` approach before ending with the discovery of George and I think I went a bit too far to emphasise the normality before getting into something a bit more dramatic.\r\n\r\nThanks for the read and review - glad you liked it!\r\n\r\n-Hannah
Summary: A child in Harry's class at primary school ponders why he seems so withdrawn.
really really good, although I sometimes think the rhyming was a bit forced - like "tell" and "Shawnelle", which is a very, very, very unusual name, and pretty much unheard of in Britian. but thats me being fussy and english. ;) great work - wish i could write poetry. but i'm not smart enough for that. :(
Author's Response: Yes, well, names are always a tricky spot for anything... I\'m American, so I guess I could use that as an excuse. :) Thanks for reviewing!
Summary: ‘He knew it was a stupid hope, but he wished, and he hoped, and he hoped to stop hoping all the same.’ It makes sense that Harry would dream for the dead to come back. We enter in the summer after his fifth year, where he is torn between continuing to wish or giving up on his senseless dreams.
Watch out for Americanisms, you had rather a lot there. Other than that, really good, really sweet. A happy ending before the ending. ;) I would have liked to have seen Sirius have a chat with the Dursley's though. ;) ~Evie
Author's Response: Ah, Americanisms, I try to avoid them the best I can, but normally I fail. Seeing as I am American, it's not the worst criticism I could get. Lol. I'm glad you enjoyed the story, and I thank you for the review. As far as a seen with Sirius and the Dursleys, i'm afraid I would have ruined the story including something like that. Whenever I directly include Sirius and the Durlseys I fear cliches. Thanks again. :)