Penname: Purplemage [Contact]
Real name: Harald
Member Since: 11/30/05
Website:
Beta-reader: 0
Status: Member
Bio:
Author name: Purplemage/Harald

Age: 22

Current Location: Caracas, Venezuela

House: Gryffindor
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Reviews by Purplemage
 

The Taste of Gone by iliveinaworldofcandy
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: A (very) short one-shot on Remus as he tries to come to terms with Sirius' death. Not really romantic, but that is the genre it fit best in, it is quite dark.

Categories: Remus/Sirius Genre: Warnings: Slash, Sexual Situations

Word count: 1348 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/01/06 Updated: 03/01/06


Reviewer: Purplemage Signed
Date: 06/11/06 Title: Chapter 1: one-shot

Great fic. I loved the kissing game the played to remember the ingredients of the potion. Kudos to you.

 

Inside the Shrieking Shack by Slian Martreb
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Another three of the Wolfstar ship list. Winter is a commeth in and the puppies are cold...

Categories: Remus/Sirius Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations

Word count: 1317 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/01/06 Updated: 03/01/06


Reviewer: Purplemage Signed
Date: 06/11/06 Title: Chapter 1: Inside the Shrieking Shack

Great story! The characterization was very good and I liked that part when they start talking to each other using their last names. My favorite part was when Remus' wanted to tuck Sirius' hair behind his ear, but then decided to put it in the front and the explanation for the shrieking shack was very cool. I loved this one-shot!

Author's Response: Hee. It\'s like the fluffiest moment to end all fluffy moments, don\'t you think? I love those two/three lines over there. Thank you so much!

 

Something to Keep You Warm by Slian Martreb
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 52]

Summary: Different version of my ideal 'first kiss' scenario, which is part of the 'Legion of LSPM's joint fic. The puppies are out of school at this point, and living in Sirius's flat. And Sirius HATES to be cold. A/N: This was written as a gift for someone on LJ for being a faithful reader/reviewer. First chapter is the original version, no prose or narrative. Second chapter will be exactly the same, but with prose. I'll be curious to see which is preferred....

Categories: Remus/Sirius Genre: Warnings: Slash, Sexual Situations

Word count: 3369 Chapters: 2 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/02/06 Updated: 03/09/06


Reviewer: Purplemage Signed
Date: 06/11/06 Title: Chapter 2: ...and prose

I really enjoyed the interaction between Sirius and Remus, it's great characterizarion! It's funny and sweet at the same time. I also liked the fact that Remus was the one to kiss Sirius and in such an unexpected manner. Great job!

Author's Response: I\'m rather proud of this alternate \'first kiss\' version myself. Thanks for reading!

 

Dog Years by Jazz
Rated: Professors [Reviews - 84]

Summary: The Marauders are facing the end of their last Hogwarts year, and secrets are on the verge of coming out. But all in good time. Two of the boys are trying to figure things out. Will they prevail?

Categories: Remus/Sirius Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Sexual Situations, Slash

Word count: 18007 Chapters: 14 Completed: No
Published:
03/12/06 Updated: 09/19/08


Reviewer: Purplemage Signed
Date: 05/29/06 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 3

hmmm, this is getting interesting, I really like the idea of Remus and Sirius having their own spot on the lake where they can cry, it's a neat idea. Great characterisations by the way. This fic has a lot of potential, I'll keep an eye on it.

 
Reviewer: Purplemage Signed
Date: 07/14/06 Title: Chapter 5: Chapter 5

Finally! I've been waiting a while for the update of tis fic! The beginning of the chapter was a bit awkward, because sometimes it was hard to tell who was saying each line, maybe it's just me.

"His tongue was stuck between his teeth as he squinted at the pages, his quill dripping ink on the floor beside him." This is such a cool image, I don't know why, but I love it. It's a very Sirius thing to do, being concentrated on the newspaper and totally forgetting about the ink falling on the carpet. It made me giggle. "“I want you to move in with me —”
But Remus leant in at that moment and captured Sirius’ lips in a heated kiss" I loved this part! Is so sweet and very in character both of them. Remus wanting to find a muggle job because he's a werewolf anf Sirius not letting him and finally asking him to move in with him. It was great character interplay.

And the ending! It was so hot! I wanted more. "Teeth biting swollen lips, tongues engaged in fierce battles." That's a great way to describe a heavy make out session. I also like how you describe the scene without mentioning their names, but still you understand very well who's doing who and you get what's going on.

Overall, a great chapter. A bit short, but sometimes short chapters are necesary. I'll be waiting for the next update.


Author's Response: Hello! I would like to thank you personally for reading \"Dog Years\" here on Mugglenet and leaving me a lovely review!\r\n\r\nUnfortunately, I also come bearing bad news. I will no longer be updating the story on here, as the mods are, in my opinion, a tad too picky about canon and I really don\'t have the patience to change my story to suit their needs. I love it just the way it is, even if some references are ahead of the time frame, and if I use way too many fragments and don\'t decipher descriptions as much as they seem to want me to.\r\n\r\nIf you are indeed still interested in reading this story (and perhaps some of my other fanfiction works), you can find me at http://www.fanfiction.net/~thejazz and \"Dog Years\" is under the title \"Here\'s To The Future\". I\'ve enabled anonymous reviews, so if you are currently not a member do not feel as though you have to sign up to leave me a review!\r\n\r\nAgain, thank you SO MUCH for reviewing \"Dog Years\", and I hope you keep reading!\r\n\r\nxo Jazz

 
Reviewer: Purplemage Signed
Date: 06/16/06 Title: Chapter 4: Chapter 4

GOD, that Peter is so annoying. I'm happy the guys joined the order, I'll wait and see what happens next.

 

It's Easy by Slian Martreb
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Remus has twelve years to come to term with Sirius's betrayal of James and Lily. Twelve years for memories to haunt and the thirteenth year to threaten.

Categories: Remus/Sirius Genre: Warnings: Slash

Word count: 1722 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/17/06 Updated: 04/21/06


Reviewer: Purplemage Signed
Date: 05/31/06 Title: Chapter 1: It's Easy

A bit of a cliffhanger there, what's going to happen next???!!! haha, just kidding. I really liked this fic, it goes very deeply into Remus' emotions and I'm always in favor of emotions. The part I liked the best was when it says that the betrayal wasn't Sirius killing the potters and peter, but him going without Sirius. Even though, I don't know the song I think it's very beautiful. Great job!

Author's Response:
That\'s why I love writing Remus; so full of emotion and he\'s usually so coherent about them to. Sirius tends to feel, react and then think about what he felt and why he felt it later.

The betrayal thing goes back to something that Remus said in \'No One Can Save You From Yourself\' (Christmas of GoF; placed 1st in Winter\'s Redemption Challenge. *squeesdiesstillfromdisbelief*) and it seemed to fit here well. I mean, if I could give something he says fifteen years later a source, why not, right?

Thank you so much!

 

Euphoria Lies by Air Elemental
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 2]

Summary: Terry Boot, Cho Chang, Anthony Goldstein and Mandy Brocklehurst all wait for one thing: news of the Final Battle. Everything you see is not always the truth, and emotions have a cunning habit of lying...

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded, Mental Disorders

Word count: 1901 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/20/06 Updated: 04/21/06


Reviewer: Purplemage Signed
Date: 04/24/06 Title: Chapter 1: Euphoria Lies

Hello Air elemental!! Yet another wonderful story, seriously you don't stop to amaze me. Your versatility in your writing is admirable, each story has it's own unique style and each one stands on it's own. Best of luck on the challenge! Once again we're in the same category ;)

 

Death On Two Legs by MaiaMadness
Rated: Professors [Reviews - 13]

Summary: "Death on two legs! You never had a heart of your own... Have you found a new toy to replace me? Can you face me? But now you can kiss my ass goodbye."



At a Death Eater meeting in 1979, Severus is forced to face Lucius again, after five years of silence.



First short in my A Night at the Opera series. Enjoy.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Dubious Consent, Sexual Situations, Slash

Word count: 1148 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/20/06 Updated: 04/30/06


Reviewer: Purplemage Signed
Date: 06/06/06 Title: Chapter 1: Death On Two Legs

Hey Maia! This is the first Serverus/Lucius fic I've read and I'm glad I did. It was short, but yet powerful. I really liked the interaction between the two of them, great characterizations! My favorite line was "I have no innocence anymore. This world has no room for innocence.” it really made me think. Keep writing!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I\'m really glad to get a review on this one, I was rather happy with it and disappointed that no one took any notice... :( But I guess not everyone can be popular. :P Glad you liked it, and thank you very much for your review!

 

Brothers on a Hotel Bed by Lua under water
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 21]

Summary: Slightly angsty, slightly twinge-of-sadness RemusxSirius. Post-PoA oneshot. Sirius remembers how things were and a flying motorbike is involved...

Categories: Remus/Sirius Genre: Warnings: Slash

Word count: 2102 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/24/06 Updated: 04/29/06


Reviewer: Purplemage Signed
Date: 05/31/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This was beautifully written. There are not many fics that talk about Sirius and Remus' relationship after Azkaban, most people are afraid to go there (myself included). So, kudos to you. I think the part I liked the best was when Remus had to stand by himself and not depend on anyone else. Great job!

 

A Few Moments Granted by cor_leonis
Rated: Professors [Reviews - 72]

Summary: Before Voldemort ripped them apart and banished their friendship to be something merely relived through pensieve, Sirius and James had shared a special bond. And sometimes, that sort of bond runs deeper than it seems. SB/JP slash

Categories: Marauder Era Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations, Slash, Substance Abuse

Word count: 4855 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/14/06 Updated: 05/19/06


Reviewer: Purplemage Signed
Date: 05/25/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Lovely story. I've read other James/Sirius stories before, but this is the best one I've read so far. The first kiss was very nicely written and it's very plausible I can see it happening and the whole thing about the stag mating season was brilliant. I've never thought about it, but it could happen that their animal form influences their human form. Kudos to you and keep writing.

Author's Response: Well, thank you, Purplemage, I\'m glad you liked it. I\'m not male, so writing an honest slash story was a little difficult. I\'m glad you liked the animal influences idea...don\'t you wonder what that means for McGonagall? Heh. Thanks for leaving a thoughtful review.

 

Narcissus by Blinded Moon
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 17]

Summary: Every night, young Sirius Black would leave his bed and sneak out of the dormitory. One night, a lovesick Remus follows him and sees a peculiar sight. Based on the ancient Greek myth of Echo and Narcissus.

Categories: Remus/Sirius Genre: Warnings: Slash

Word count: 1514 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/17/06 Updated: 05/25/06


Reviewer: Purplemage Signed
Date: 05/29/06 Title: Chapter 1: One-Shot

I swear, I almost cried at the end of this. The whole piece it's tastefully written, it's so beautiful and yet so sad. I guess life and love can be like that. My favorite lines were the ones from the last paragraph. Great job!

Author's Response: Yeah, I\'m kind of into writing the whole sad-ending stories, because I just find that they seem more real. Of course, I\'m not heartless enough to kill of Sirius without SOME reconcilliation of some sort, even if it was just in his mind. Thanks for such a great review!

 

A Forbidden Connection by whittyleah
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 51]

Summary: It is three weeks after Dumbledore's death, and Hermione Granger is dealing with the betrayal of the man she is secretly in love with, the man who is now her enemy, Severus Snape.





The character death and violence are for later chapters, which cover the final battle.





Chapter 4 is up!

Categories: Hermione/Snape Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Student/Teacher Romance, Violence

Word count: 13277 Chapters: 6 Completed: No
Published:
05/22/06 Updated: 07/04/07


Reviewer: Purplemage Signed
Date: 08/06/06 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter 2 - Burning Potions

Hey, Leah,

It was about time I came around to leave you a review. Sorry it took me so long, but I promised you a review and I keep my word. This is the first Hermione/Snape story I've ever read and it wasn't so bad.

Let's begin with the things I didn't like so much. First i think you should add a bit more description and setting to the story. It's mostly character and dialogue, which aare great, but the reader can't imagine always where the characters are and how they look like.

Second, please don't take this the wrong way, but I think you need a bit more work on Hermione's characterization. She seems a bit too victim to me. I understand she's been through a lot, but Hermione is a person that tries to be strong and doesn't want her emotions to show all the time.

On the other hand, Snape is well written. I love how you show us his human side and his inner struggles. How he tries to be the mean teacher, but at the same time he doesn't want to hurt Hermione's feelings. Also, the whole backstory you wrote of him that you wrote was also nice. I'm a bit more simpathetic of him after reading how badly he was treated at home and at school. Sirius and James were really mean, ouch. “I’m getting as bad as Longbottom." Haha, I loved that line!

The flashbacks are great, I like stories that are told through flashbacks. You don't need to italize a flashback, you can do it if you want, but it's not necesary.

Sorry it took me so long to review, Good luck with your story!

Author's Response: Thank you for the great review! I understand what you are saying about Hermione, I will keep that in mind. *chants to self: Description and setting* Those are my weak areas. Thank you for pointing that out though. Again, thank you for reading and reviewing!

 

Three Words by Gemma Hawk
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 11]

Summary: Third Place in the One-Shot Challenge - Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes!









Daphne Greengrass has the "brilliant" idea to bring Draco and Pansy together. So she adds some potion to each of their drinks... but will it work?

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2554 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/23/06 Updated: 05/24/06


Reviewer: Purplemage Signed
Date: 06/01/06 Title: Chapter 1: Oneshot

Hey Gemma, great story! I really enjoyed it. I really liked your characterisation, especially the girls. The first scene when they're in the bathroom discussing their plan is lovely. I've always liked scenes where girls are putting make-up on. Pansy and Draco was also very endearing. "He could only say three words, and Gregory Goyle kept on picking his nose. Gregory’s nose, that is. Not Draco’s." I think that was my favorite line, it was so funny, it made me laugh out loud. The only problem I found is that there is too much american slang, for a second I forgot they were at Hogwarts. That's the only problem the rest was just lovely. Congratulations on getting thrid place!

Author's Response: Thank you! I\'m so glad you liked it! I noticed that there was a bit of American slang, but ´not being British it would have been hard for me to change it to something else. Maybe next time I\'ll get a brit picker. Thanks again! PS- I like scenes with girls putting on make up too. :P

 

Summary: There's a first time for everything....Christmas of MWPP sixth year.

Categories: Remus/Sirius Genre: Warnings: Sexual Situations, Slash

Word count: 2207 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/04/06 Updated: 06/04/06


Reviewer: Purplemage Signed
Date: 06/09/06 Title: Chapter 1: It Was A Dark And Stormy Night

Great story! It's refreshing to see Remus/Sirius fic that's not angsty, not that i don't likt those, but sometimes you need a break. I really liked your characterizations, gret job!

Author's Response: Oh, come on. The good majority of Remus/Sirius isn\'t angsty. It\'s fluffy, crack!fic, just like this is. Glad you enjoyed!

 

Peculiar Satisfaction by Periwinkle
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 13]

Summary: One shot from Sirius's perspective in his Animagus form, on the night he first saw Harry in Magnolia Crescent.




Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 922 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/12/06 Updated: 06/15/06


Reviewer: Purplemage Signed
Date: 08/04/06 Title: Chapter 1: One shot

Interesting fic. There are not many fics out there that have a dog Sirius POV and also that you explored how he felt about Harry before they met. That's a nice touch and refreshing as you said it yourself.

I love your descriptions at the beginning of the fic. How you explained what Sirius had been doing and how he looked. "he farther away his destination became, like the sun on the horizon - never getting closer." I think this was my favorite line, very sad and beautiful at the same time.

It was sad after he saw Harry and it was for such a short time, poor Sirius. It was very well described how he regreted not having transformed and not having talked to him.

I love a good Sirius story and this one was diferent. Kudos to you.

Author's Response: Thank you so much Harald! *huggles* I\'m glad you liked it, because it means so much coming from you -- I know that Sirius is one of your favorite characters. Million squees and thanks!

 

Summary: Harry is troubled in the middle of the night by strangeness happening all around him. He dreams of a world that is blissfully and completely devoid of evil, but at the same time it's creepy and disturbing. Harry battles with accepting "the way things are" and does his best to counter everything this supposed dream has told him to be true. Is it just him, or has the whole world gone mad?

Categories: Humor Fics Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe

Word count: 2752 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/18/06 Updated: 07/22/06


Reviewer: Purplemage Signed
Date: 07/22/06 Title: Chapter 1: A Tale of Ordinary Madness

"On a cold and gloomy London night" I love this first sentece, it sucks the reader in right away and along with Harry's first line “Bewitching the sky…” creates an almost romantic mood. Probably romantic wasn't what you were aiming at, but still it was nice.

Harry was very in character during the whole piece, especially when he's trying to sleep and he gets mad, but at the end he ends up hurting himself instead. That was very funny and I could see it happening in canon.

Using the water as currency, what a cool idea. How did you come up with that? Although we don't know why water replaced money, is it because it's scarse? Or they think money is evil and decided to get rid of it as well? The moment I thought a world without water I totally freaked out, don't mind me I'm weird like that.

This story also got me thinking, if there is no evil could there be good? Is like if there is no sadness there would be no happiness because there would be no reason the be happy. You explained it through the day, like there is no night and people don't sleep because they don't get tired. Ok, I'll stop rambling now.

The ending made me giggle, Harry making all those questions to Ron and Ron thinking his best mate has gone mad. The last sentence was also pretty neat. Evryone knows Ron's hair is brown! duh!

Author's Response: Hmm...romantic isn\'t quite what I was going for, at least in the lovey romantic sense, but I\'m glad you liked the opening nonetheless (and I totally see where you\'re getting at.) Honestly I have no idea how I came up with the water as money thing, but it made me laugh to think about because water is so abundant. But in their world, it doesn\'t rain you see, so you\'re right that it was valuable because it\'s \"scarce\" kinda. You also have an excellent point about the good without evil and happy without sad thing....talk about mind-trip. I\'ll have to think on that one. ;) Very glad you liked it and that you caught on to my little humorous ending hehe. This story was so strange so I\'m eternally thankful you actually found it enjoyable. =) GG

 

Beauty From Pain by BeautyInTheBreakdown
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 23]

Summary: Ginny mourns the death of Harry by looking back to her past, thinking on memory. Character death Post HBP H/G

Categories: Harry/Ginny Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Violence

Word count: 4741 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/08/06 Updated: 08/17/06


Reviewer: Purplemage Signed
Date: 09/01/06 Title: Chapter 1: Living a Memory

Finally I came to review your story. Sorry it took me so long, but I'm here now and that's what matters. I loved the idea of the story. How someone can see beauty in sadness and that it doesn't matter how bad things look there's still beauty,

I felt so sorry for Ginny during the entire story. Having her being a hocrux is a bit cliche, but you pulled it off nicely. I liked how she was also in love with Tom. I had never thought about it, but it makes sense that she fell in love with him. I had the funniest thought of Ginny chatting with Tom in the journal.

"Ginny: Hey Tom, wassup?

Tom: Not much, you?"

LOL, ok, back to the review. Ginny was nicely written, but I didn't like Harry's that much. I think he's a bit OOC. Specially with the line when they're watching the sunset "How can you see this and tell me that there’s not a God?" I really doubt that Harry would say something like that.

A word of advice: It's not necesary to write the flashbacks in italics. In a sorty like this with lots of flashbacks makes it a bit tyring. Use the italys for things like thoughts, notes, book names, stuff like that. The reader will understand that its a flashback even without the italics.

I very much enjoyed the plot. It's a really good idea. I especially like fics that deal with people's death. I'm morbid like that. I think that my favorite scene was when Harry cast the Avada Kedavra on Voldemort and they all sufered because they were connected. Even Tom, that was a nice touch.

Overall, this is a good story. You need to work a bit in characterization, but the plot was very nice and you have a special ability to describe people's feelings.

Harald

Author's Response: YAY!!! A review from Harald!!! I won\'t pretend I wasn\'t waiting for one ;D Harry was OOC because, well, it wasn\'t really him who said it. The whole sunset scene actually happened to me. (sure, it wasn\'t with a boyfriend and it wasn\'t romantic, but still) True, Harry actually wouldn\'t say that, but my friend did, and I was in awe of her when she did and I couldn\'t just leave that line out of the story. It\'s sort of hard to explain... but that\'s why sometimes the characters are OOC... because the first few flashbacks are things I actually did... I saw that sunset and I wrote that letter. Some minor things were changed... like the names... and the letter was edited to fit Ginny\'s situation, but otherwise, it\'s all me. Back on topic... I\'m glad you liked the plot. This story took a lot of work for me and it makes me so happy to see that people like it. I\'m so glad to finally see a review by Harald!!! Hope I see more later!

 

Beyond Appearance by expecto_patronum_this
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary:
Neville receives a snappy Slytherin girl as his Care of Magical Creatures parter. He doesn't really get along with her, but together they discover something wonderful - the gift of an animal's love, and the knowledge that sometimes, people are deeper than they are willing to show.

Written for Anna (Fantasium). You are love.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 5063 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/11/06 Updated: 08/17/06


Reviewer: Purplemage Signed
Date: 10/22/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Hey Ashley!!!! This is your spew buddy speaking!! This story was just lovely! It really was, from beginning to end. It made me want a Tadfoal!! I want one in my bathtub :) Ok, I don't have a bathtub, but I still want one.

Neville's characterization was lovely. Most people portray him as pee-in-my-pants kinda person, but you didn't, and I'm glad you didn't. He's still awkawrd and clumsy, like the Neville we've all come to love, but he's his own person. I especially liked the part where he's looking at Skit swim with Farrah. He stares at first, but then realises that he shouldn't. Most people would've stayed and watched.

Skit was also an interesting character. She really called my attention from the very beginning. I especially liked her actions and reactions. They were not typical and unespected. She always kept me guessing. The scene were she cries is just beaaaautiful. I just imagined her tears falling and the sun setting and it was really espectacular.

The scene at the beginning was really cute. I just thought of the two of them poking at the worm-like creature and it made me chuckle. It was cute. The scene in the library was also nice. Skit always keeping Neville on his toes. He never knows what she's going to do next.

The fic is full of beautiful imagery. I especially liked your descriptions of the swims. Both Neville's and Skit's. But I liked Neville's better, because of course it was longer and we were seeing everything in Neville's POV. The scene were Neville first sees Farrah is very powerful also. I can imagine the rain falling down and them helping the poor animal, not minding if they're uncomfortable.

Farrah is a lovely character! She should have her own fic: "The adventures of Farrah!" LOL Ok, I was joking. But seriously I feel in love with the little creature.

Lovely fic, Ashley! Seriously it was a very nice read.

 

Alone by BeautyInTheBreakdown
Rated: Professors [Reviews - 184]

Summary: How could one night change a life so drastically? Something as simple as choosing to take a walk could ruin a life forever.

Nell is a fifth year at Hogwarts, but she's not like the rest. She's been through more than most could even dream up.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Abuse, Non-Consensual Sex, Sexual Situations, Violence

Word count: 29878 Chapters: 13 Completed: Yes
Published:
08/27/06 Updated: 11/10/08


Reviewer: Purplemage Signed
Date: 09/27/06 Title: Chapter 4: Hidden Scars

Hey Gabby! I'm finally reviewing this, sorry it took me such a long time. I'm a horrible friend, I know. Any way, I'm doing it now and that's what matters.

The plot is very good. You seem to have evrything planned out which is great. I'm very confused on who the mystery guy is. I thought it would be Sirius, but if it was Sirius then Nell would be in love with him because he is oh so charming. I'm starting to think that maybe he's Snape. *wonders* He's creepy enough.

You've done a good job with Nell's characterizations. In the four short chapters we know who she is, how she looks like, what she likes and her habits. I'm sure there is a lot of room for her to grow and I'm sure she will. My only problem with Nell is that (at least to me) a bit too angsty. I must be honest a couple of parts where a bit tiresome to read because she's too angsty. Maybe you could bring it down a bit? Or is she like this because something terrible that we don't know happened to her? After this chapter I'm starting to think that maybe she was raped.

I like the narration. Nell has a voice of her own. It keeps you guessing and keeps you in your toes. You never know if the creepy guy is going to show up from her back and kill her or something. I've watched way too many scary movies.

So, here comes the not so nice part of the review. I caught a little typo in chapter 3, somwhere instead of saying 'calm' it says 'clam' but it's nothing to worry about. I would like to see more descriptions in the story. I loved what you did in this chapters with the dungeons. I don't mean setting, but the characters. Describe them a bit more. Like for example, Addie, we don't know how she looks. Like her hair color and stuff. Or did you explain it and I just forgot? If that was the case then I'm sorry, I should pay more attention.

You have a good idea in your hands, Gabby. I'll keep an eye on this fic and see where it goes. Good luck!

PS: Poor Remus. Doesn't Nell know he's like one of the nicest guys around?

Author's Response: FINALLY!!!! First off, THANK YOU!!!!!!!! Now... I told people in the first few reviews who the mystery guy is... if you really want to know, go check the first few reviews, but I recomend finding out later. I\'m glad the characterization is good except for being too angsty... but I don\'t think she is... did you not read the chapter? it says right in it... “You never notice just how many boys there are in this world until one of them rapes you…” *eyeroll smiley* Way to be observant. Zut! Je déteste les \'typos\'. It better not do that weird spacing thing when I try to fix it, because if it does, I don\'t think I\'ll bother fixing it... it\'s one letter... and to just change one letter, I don\'t have the 1/2 hour to spare. I think I forgot to include Addie\'s description... I\'ll see what I can do! Thanks again for the review. PS... No, she doesn\'t... BUT... *coughyouwishyouknewwhatIwasabouttosaycough*

 
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