Aspire, Seek, Attain
Phoenix5225 is a 27 year old who has been writing off and on for the past 17 years. She finished her first "novel" at the tender age of eleven. Now she only writes on the side, choosing instead to pursue a more stable and boring job as a governmental accountant. In her very limited free time, she can be found reading or working on scrapbook albums with the crime drama television show Law and Order (the original or any of its spinoffs) on in the background.
On the forums, she is a member of the Bannermakers Associatin, Society of Potterverse Adults: Backstories and a member of the Beta Guild. She has a random obsession with Severus Snape, and Half Blood Prince may very well be her all time favorite book. Contrary to her name, she does NOT have a random obsession with Fawkes. Phoenix5225 was a member of a sorority in college which utilized the phoenix as a symbol. The crest in her author's page link is the crest of said sorority, and its motto, written on the banner in Greek, is Aspire, Seek, Attain.
Phoenix5225 lives in a small town in the heartland of America with her recently acquired husband and her nine year old twin stepsons.
In a word...wow. I feel guilty reading this with kids in the room! It suddenly got incredibly warm. I have never been a Lucius fan - ever. I'm converted to your Lucius. I love the arrogance, the way he takes whatever (in this case whoever) he wants, and yet he's not so cold that it's all about him. Also, I LOVED Siobhan slapping Draco. He deserves everything he gets. *Grin* That was an incredibly impressive performance. You are a very gifted writer and you leave me not only longing for Lucius, but longing to read more!
This is one of those pieces that mimicks real life. You don't know whether to cry for the ultimate loss or rejoice for the rich life lived.
One itty bitty little typo... Where Maeve is wondering if her father will intervene, you've written "she new he would not" instead of knew. And that, my dear, is it.
Now I come to my big problem. As you are aware from your "modly" duties, I love to explore Snape as well, and he is my ultimate favourite character. My problem has become that it is getting very difficult to write my full length story, which includes an OC companion for our beloved Potions Master, when I am becoming a Severus/Maeve shipper. In fact, perhaps even a Severus/Maeve OTP! *Sighs*. The true challenges of fan fiction, I would suspect.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review, Phoenix! Oh dear, Severus/Maeve are being shipped! LOL I must confess, though, that these two are the reason that I have trouble reading other Severus romance. I always feel he is being infaithful to Maeve. ;-)This piece needs a little re-editing because I bet there is more than just that knew in there. Thanks for pointing it out. I love it when my reviewers take pity on my silly typos and tell me about them. :-)
When Harry’s quest for the horcruxes turns desperate, he leaves the security of his homeland to seek out the advice of an ancient and most unusual Council – one whose allegiance is only to themselves but whose knowledge is so vast it may be his only chance. What Harry discovers there will change everything. Soon, he comes to see that this is all so much bigger than just he and Dark Lord – his role, though pivotal, is terribly minute compared to the challenges the Wizarding World must now face.
Meanwhile, across the Atlantic Ocean, a young witch uncovers the truth about her bloodline. But only when catastrophic events begin to unfold, does she realise her importance in the greater scheme of things...
It is a tale of epic proportions: bringing in the truth behind Slytherin's betrayal, and the choices the Founders had to make to ensure the longevity of their world. Enemies must unite, lines must be crossed, and children must forgo their innocence. And behind it all, fly the Spirits of the Storm, waiting, watching, scheming. Welcome to the greatest epic war the Wizarding World has ever seen.
Chapter 11 is posted.
Haley, this is an absolutely delightful chapter. Hermione's charictarization is wonderful, only she would use the words "no need to fret". Pulling all of her memories out is an original way to share the past few months with us, as opposed to simply using the hard return and the word flashback.
I love the interaction between the couple at the end. Neither Ron nor Hermione would ever spout poetic verse, even in the face of war, so their unspoken connection is perfect. It's as subtle here as it has been throughout Jo's series, and had it been told from someone else's point-of-view, it would have been just a hug between best friends. Only because it's Hermione's POV do we know what is truly going on between them.
You never cease to amaze, my Queen. :-)
I love the line about sacrificing the queen to protect the king. I am a huge supporter of the Snape-is-not-evil camp, and this chess analogy is brilliant!
Author's Response: Thanks! My jar of cockroaches and I are always happy to put another plank in the Snape-is-not-evil platform.
It was full moon when the Dark Lord sealed a part of his soul within a magical amulet, and then broke it in half. One half was left to the faithful werewolves to guard. The other half was tossed into the impenetrable depths of time where no one but him could get it. When the first half has been found, the Order of the Phoenix selects Hermione Granger to go back into the past to search for the missing piece. What is waiting for her is a brutal task that will test her beyond her limits, and an undying love that extends beyond the boundaries of time.
No werewolves were harmed in the making of this story.
Update (9 May): Chapter 17, Burning, is up! Enjoy!
So after seeing the eighty nominations for the QSQ's for this fic (and then deleting them all and then making poor Beth go and put them all back in), I decided to see what all the fuss was about. To sum up, I read the whole thing thus far in (mostly) one sitting and then I went straight back to the QSQ forum to add an eighty-first nomination.
Lei dear, this story is fantastic. Time-travel fics in general make me weary, because they usually have more plot-holes than a seive. Not so here. I love that there is Horcrux information in 1980 England, and Hermione is just the girl for the job.
I wonder, when did Remus figure out that Jane was Hermione? Was it just when talk of this mission came about that he put it together? Will she tell him while she's there? I'm very interested to see how it will be when Hermione returns to the present and confronts her Professor. (If I have an idea for how it should go, am I allowed to write a fanfic of a fanfic?)
Remus is absolutely loveable. This is really the first Remus-centric fic I've read, and it has set the bar exceptionally high. *tries not to stray to far from the Snape beaten path* His gentle humor is delightful, and what I really love are the warm-fuzzies I get reading about this beginning romance. It makes me really long for the sweet akwardness that comes with a new relationship (though don't tell my hubby I said so).
In that respect, I also love how they both can be a little foolish when it comes to relationships. I can completely see where this would be Lupin's first real relationship (though I would love to know more about that sixth-year experience with Sirius!), and through canon we know that it is Hermione's. It's just another touch of sugar on an already sweet tale.
Now, I must confess that part of the reason I didn't read this sooner is because I knew it wasn't finished. I don't always like to read WIP because I hate the waiting in between chapters, and my biggest fear is that a story will be abandoned (even though I'm just as guilty of that as the next). If you abandon this Lei, so help me, I will hex you into next week. Before I read this, I had mentioned that nothing excites me as much as seeing an email in my inbox that tells me Sins has been update, but I certainly believe you will give Jenna a run for her money.
Looking immensely forward to more...
Author's Response: *beams* THANK YOU, Kim! That is positively one of the most glowing reviews I\'ve ever had for this story. I\'m trying my very best to get this done - and I WILL get it done, come hell or high water. And... you just gave me an idea. I just might write that sixth-year experience as a treat (and maybe as an apology for delays?).
Reading this chapter I just want to slide into the scene and steal your Snape away from Narcissa. A gourmet cook, a sense of humor, and a wine snob, and yet all of it without losing one bit of his canon character. I think I'm in love.
I think there is just one tiny grammar error in the line where Snape says he is a self-taught cook. It says something about "if one wishes to excel, one must teach themselves". I believe themselves should be either oneself or himself, since the rest of the sentence is singular.
Ok, I had a thought...is the necklace Snape gives Narcissa JUST a necklace or is it something more...shall we say...soulful? I am intrigued to find out at Snape acquired such a possession.
Just so you know, this story has been added on my favorite list for awhile now, and I get so excited every time I see a new chapter. As always, I can't wait for more! Another perfect 10.
Author's Response: Ah, thanks for pointing out that tense error--I'll go fix it now. Tense is one of the things I tend to overlook when I'm on a roll :) Ahem--yes, you're very much on the right track in calling the locket "soulful"! It's my bday tomorrow, so I'll be out of town playing instead of working on #6 for the next two days--but it'll definitely be up next week! I'm so excited that you like my story :) Love those 10's--thanks!!
Why did you have to stop there? I wanted more...
A chivalrous Severus, I love it. I'm so curious as to how she realized it was him. Did she finally figure it out on her own or did he tell her?
I was so excited to see this posted. Keep up the amazing work!
P.S. I feel so special that you changed "silly"! :-)
Author's Response: Thank you for the reviews--they're very encouraging :) Chapter 4's short in comparison to #3, but it's in queue now, and it explains your question (among other things).
This is a great story, full of descriptive detail. Your Narcissa has a real depth to her, unlike the wimpy, used woman I had pictured while reading the HP series. I can almost feel her pain at the loss of her son. I look forward to reading more of this. (It also helps I'm a big Snape fan myself.)
Author's Response: Thank you! As a Slytherin - and a Mama - Narcissa's pain in Spinner's End really seemed to resonate with me. That's what originally sparked this whole story in my mind: the sensuality between her and Snape in spite of the consuming grief she must have felt. I appreciate your warm words, and I changed "silly" just for you!
How fitting of Severus that he just gives Narcissa a "knowing look". That is so in character of him, even at his young age. You even made me feel bad for him. I can't even imagine the pain of the one person you are spending your time with and have feelings for suddenly announcing an engagement to someone else. And to not even know she was seeing him! I wouldn't have been able to be anywhere near as stoic. A little piece of me hopes he gives her some grief for doing that to him! I can't wait to see what happens when she finally goes to visit Severus. 10/10
Author's Response: Yeah, Narcissa's inability to stand up for her true feelings caused a lot of unintended collateral damage. About Sev wanting to give Cissa some grief later...well, I actually thought of that too--you'll just have to wait and see... :evilgrin: The reviews are very gratifying--thanks SO much! I'm still furiously writing and refining--chapter 6 is proving tricky, but after that it should be smooth-sailing.
The 12 Pains of Christmas is one of my favorite songs as well (I have actually gotten into the argument with my SO that resulted in "You're so smart, YOU hang up the lights!") and I laughed the whole time I was reading it. I could really see Harry singing this. Loved it!
Author's Response: It's not officially Xmas season until they play that song on the way to work in the morning! The "lights" section reminds me of my father, and now unfortunately of my husband!
Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant. Severus is my absolute favorite, and I am starting to seriously consider Severus/Narcissa my OTP (which would cause a huge wrench in my own fiction!).
There was only one little thing I noticed, and that was I think where you talked about the family taking her sight unseen. It is written Malfoy's instead of Malfoys. I don't think the apostrophe is needed.
I'm just heartbroken with this. Darn Severus being moral and noble. He loved her; he should have made an offer to her. And when she kissed him and he said "you're married", even though on the whole I do NOT support adultery, I could have hit him. It breaks my heart how people will turn their back on true love. Especially when that love is from someone who obviously doesn't love or accept love easily.
Again, brilliant. 10/10. If you ever choose to expand this into a chaptered tale, you would have at least one faithful reader.
This is a really good start to a story! I haven't found too many fics written from Sirius' point of view, so that caught my attention as a positive right away. Usually, the story is from the point of view of the OC who is going to fall all over him.
I have a few constructive criticism notes to offer. First, in the paragraph where you have "Knowing Wormtail, he's probably stuffing his face..." I think this should be broken into two separate paragraphs since you have a quote by both Sirius and Peter. There should only be one speaker per paragraph.
Second, there is a line about Peter catching on to the plans pranks. I think you mean catching on to the prank's plans.
Finally, there are several places where you have used "they're" instead of "their". They're is the contraction of they are. Their shows possession, such as "raining on their feast".
Overall, I think this is a very strong start to your story. I agree that I like how you didn't just let Peter fade into the background. I hope he continues to hang around during the rest of the fic. Also, I do like the prank you planned for them. Most fics have the Marauders pulling a prank on Snape, but I'm glad you realize for them to be known as great pranksters instead of bullies, they need to think big. I'm looking forward to see how that prank plays out. I will be on the lookout for further updates. Great start!
Author's Response: i also noticed how most stories are not written from Sirius's view... also it annoys me how most fics just ignore peter because he was considered one of their best friends in school even if he did betray them later... nd i really appreciate the criticism as it helps me to make my story better for u guys!! well thanx for the review nd help!!
Ok, obviously I am a bit biased...
I love the unique nature of this plot. Starting with Salazar and drawing the connection between him and Voldemort is very original. I like that Sirius meets his match in Celia. As you have him written, girls are expected to fall over him, and she won't do that (at least, she had better not).
Just one little thing to note (and I know you changed this in the next chapter already, but you might have missed it in the first) Bellatrix needs her name changed to Black.
I am looking forward to learning more about the demon that is "the Silent". Keep up the great work!
Author's Response: Hehe, thanks so much=) Did I mess up the Black thing in this chapter too? I don't know why, but I always have troubles with remembering who's married and who's not. In later chapters, I've had to go back and change Alice Longbottom's last name. Ah well, this story is so much fun, and was accepted mostly because of your wonderful comments and help. Thanks again=))
I don't know if you spend time on the forums, but I used your story for a Bannermakers' Association challenge regarding AU fics. PM me (same name here and the forums) if you want the banner. You are welcome to use it if you like it.
Author's Response: I\'d love to have a banner! I\'ll drop you a PM over at the forums. Thank you very much for this!
Joanna, I love how we seem to share a lot of the same views. I also enjoy how we seemed to take a lot of the same views, and the same points of the HP world and create two similar yet different challenge entries out of them. Heck, they aren't even for the same challenge!
Your English is wonderful; I am amazed it is not your first language. You are a splendid writer and I hope you are appropriately rewarded in this contest!
Author's Response: Wow, this came unexpected! But thank you very much, I really appreciate this. I'm looking forward to read your story. I'm actually touched, I really appreciate your kind words. Thank you again!
This is a fascinating view on how Regulus died. I always thought he was just blasted away by a Death Eater, and yet your interpretation of the cruel Malfoy and Bella definitely fits.
Apart from a couple random typos (which only having a couple for such a long one-shot is pretty good), I really liked this. You took my favourite character and gave him a heart. I know he can feel regret, and I think that's why he's so mean all the time. I can't imagine having to live with a regret so deep. Well done bringing another side of Snape into view!
Author's Response: Thank you so much! Snape is also my favourite character, and I some time plan to write a fic about him and Narcissa (Snape/Narcissa shipper all the way!) I, like you, didn't like the idea of Regulus just being killed simply by a Death Eater, and I wanted to show his death in a dark and different way, and somehow incorporate Snape into it, and hopefully add one more reason as to why he is so bitter.
Again, thank you, and best of luck with your challenge fic - it was totally brilliant :)
~Ermine the One
Oh Jan...I had read the first chapter of this before, but now that I've read all you have thus far... You know I adore Severus, and at first I was really frustrated with him hurting Maeve, but what Maeve did...I'm crushed. I really hope there is an explanation.
I'm really looking forward to reading more of this. I feel as if the Maeve/Severus series has become my own personal little soap opera. I truly hope they work it out.
I read it, I modded it, I can't wait to read more of it. Though I am hurt at the thought of my favourite character being capable of rape, I am sure you know where you're going with this.
Normally, I dislike modding dark/angsty but today it was worth my while! :-)
Author's Response: Oh! I\'m so glad you like it. It means a lot to me to get such nice reviews. Yes, I do know where I\'m going with this. The only obstacle is finding time to write it all.
This was absolutely adorable! These are the kinds of stories that actually make modding the queue worthwhile. Poke me closer to November, I would love to pick this as one of my feature stories when it's my turn! :-)
Author's Response: Thanks so much for your review! I\'m blushing right now... And I certainly won\'t forget about November! That would be simply great!
Wow...I don't know what to say. I actually am pretty sure I validated the first chapter of this as well, and I am just stunned at the turn it took.
I must say that in reading back over it again, the stormy setting was a perfect foreshadow of the main part of the story to come.
And what a story it was! I was in near tears reading about poor Emily and Ginny, excuse me, Ginevra was somehow in character to me. Knowing what we do of Ginny in the series, if those events were to happen to her, that is exactly how I'd believe she would turn out. Thus, your characterization is very believable. The writing is impeccible, and I loved the underlying moral throughout of the wealthy and powerful needing to remember, support, and give to the poor and weak.
Fabulous job. I'm adding this to my list of favorites so that next time it is my turn to pick featured stories (which unfortunately won't be for about another six months) I want this one up there.
Author's Response: Thanks, Kim. It means a lot to me when someone is moved by one of my stories, and I value your praise. ~Ken