Well, since I'm the one writing it, it should be autobio. You know, at one point I thought that autobiography had something to do with cars.
Some very random facts about me
Frogs or elephants? Frogs because they're green? So they aren't all green, but if you imagine a frog, don't you imagine a green frog? But if those elephants are dancing, then I prefer them. Or if they're pink. You know, I just thought about something, if you put together a (grey) elephant and a (green) frog, you get Slytherin colours! :)
What makes you happy? A lot of things. Good books, chocolate, friends... and sunshine. I'm one of these people who kind of depends on weather - it's much easier for me to be happy when it's sunny outside.
What are you obsessed with/addicted to? Again, a lot of things. Green tea, for example. Then coffee, especially in the mornings. Chocolate, of course. Fanfiction (you never would have guessed that, would you?). Harry Potter. Terry Pratchett books. Agatha Christie books. Musical "Chess". Currently also with a game called "Dynomite" - it's about smashing dinosaur eggs... then with my Nightwish album "Once". And many, many other things I can't recall right now. :P
Summary: COMPLETE. A woman visits Hogwarts expressly to meet Severus Snape. Her eccentric aunt led her to believe that he was the kindest, handsomest man to ever grace the earth. What will she do when she discovers the awful truth - let a few minor imperfections stand in the way of romance? Highly Improbable has been recognized by the Multifaceted Awards as Winner in the Laughter Category and Runner-Up in the Identity Category (Best Original Character), and also by MNFF's first annual Quicksilver Quills Awards. Thanks, MuggleNet!
Great beginning - can't wait to read more. That's what I thought after reading the disclaimer. :P Oh, but the chapter was wonderful as well. :D I loved how the Sorting Hat announced "Hufflepuff! Most definitely Hufflepuff!" and how Clancy got her name from combining the names of her parents. ;)
Favourite quote: "Given Aunt Hilly's gift for hyperbole, Clancy imagined Severus Snape to be the most handsome, kind, intelligent boy ever to grace the earth." :P
Hihi. This was great. I found Hilly's letter most amusing. Especially - "Are you sitting down? Good. There's no point in beating about the bush any longer, so here it is: I am a witch, or rather I WAS a witch. Now that I'm dead, I don't really know what I am, but as soon as I find out, you'll be the first to hear." :P
And Clancy's ramblings, those were great, too. My favourites from that part were "the great Miss Brightman, whom everyone considers a better singer and teacher than I -- because she is, dammit!" and "On a scale of 1-10, a 7 at best; after a complete beauty makeover, 7.1"
I really like Hilly and Clancy, they feel like wonderful characters and wonderful people. :)
"Hillary and I shared a great love of music, and she was one of the few people who ever had the good sense to send me socks for Christmas."
Hehe. Lockhart was wonderful. :D
I suppose it was quite a shock for Clancy to find a whole new world of magic. Of course, I'm sure it's nothing compared to the surprise she will be getting when she finds out who that "hideous, hook-nosed man dressed in black robes" really is. :P
Hehe. Sneaky scheming Dumbledore.
What I liked most in this chapter were actually not words, but the absence of them - the pause when Clancy asked Dumbledore what Severus was like. I loved that pause. :P
Ooh, how I love to read about Snape being snarky like that. :P And that conversation he had with Flitwick - superb! :D
Well, this chapter kept me sniggering almost the whole time. :P Clancy's translation, Dumbledore limping the wrong leg.. Snape throwing eels at her... really, there is nothing more intimidating than throwing eels at people.. :P
I loved that passage of Snape describing Dumbledore - "With Dumbledore, one never supposes or assumes. He is a man of many mysteries, which he uses to his advantage. He has a peculiar way of getting people to do exactly what he wants them to do by convincing them it was their own idea in the first place."
And then my very, very, very favourite quote - "She turned on an eel..."
Ooh, this was hilarious. I had to close the door so that my laughter wouldn't wake up my nephew. One of Snape's better days... Dumbledore promising not to meddle - yeah right :P Lockhart... Snape in a plumed hat... Cornish pixies... Ooh, I loved that place when Snape complimented the colour of her hair in candlelight, and Lockhart answered. :D
It seems that Lockhart is quite useful for something.. in addition to being immensely amusing. ;) Ooh, Dumbledore does know what cards to play...
"Neither can I, Severus," Dumbledore said, slowly shaking his head. "To a large extent, that is the core of your problem."
' There was so much mystery to the man, the biggest mystery of all being what she saw in him.'
"It ... scanned quite well."
Ooh, someone should have really sent Snape a Valentine with a singing dwarf. That would have been priceless. Poor dwarf, though.
Hmm, Lockhart's poem wasn't that bad.. except for the last line. And speaking of Snape's poetry, the truthful one was a lot nicer than the flattering one.. But he did that on purpose.. :P
Summary: THE LAST CHAPTER IS IN! Read, review and enjoy!
The first battle of the second War- Dementors illegally issuing the Kiss on Death Eaters- A murder in the Weasley family- Voldemort's plans- Dumbledore's and Harry's struggle.
In the midst of this chaos and hardship, Hermione is left feeling slightly disheartened. When Harry and Ron are temporarily unavailable to befriend her, an ironic and seemingly platonic relationship is born. Will it ease the pain of the War's influence, or will it only create further turmoil for a girl that needs anything but?
And in the end, a terrible decision is left to be made; one that no natural person would envy.
This is a wonderful story and I really enjoyed reading it. One of the best I've read so far. I loved how you always depicted people's innermost thoughts and deepest feelings. And I loved the ending - it was simply perfect. :)
Author's Response: Whoa... wow. DracosPunkGirl... SarcasticBookWorm... morimac... and of course, you, Infinity-- thanks, guys! I was simply stunned to see this story was still getting reviews! I hadn't checked for them in months. It's very, very heartwarming, I must say. I wrote this story such a long time ago, it seems. It's amazing that it's still getting hits. In all honestly, I'm a bit embarrassed by it; I have a difficult time even reading it. I poured a lot of time and emotion into it, but I feel it's not worthy of all your high praise. There's a lot I would have done differently, in retrospect, but I s'pose if it made you guys happy, it did its job! Not that I hate it, or that it's dreadful... who knows. Perhaps I'm just being too hard on myself. If you hadn't noticed, I soft of ventured into the H/Hr world. *dodges projectiles* I tend to choose the most complex ships, don't I? However, these new reviews have really inspired me to write another Hr/D. The Hr/D shippers were my best support and left the most consistent reviews. *ponders* I'll cook up a plot bunny for you guys, just to show my appreciation. : ) So I guess it's settled? I'll write another Hr/D! It'll take a few weeks, since I'm also writing a H/Hr, but it'll be here, and I promise it'll be even better than Civility. Thanks again!
Summary: (Hi, I wrote this when I was 16, please keep that in mind. I'm keeping it up because people still like it.)
So, you want to be an evil villain? In this handbook that a certain Hogwarts student purchases, all of the rules, techniques, and frequently asked questions about evil villainy are explained. Do you have what it takes? And what will happen to the student who purchases the book? Another story from the strange, twisted, and slightly unfortunate Hermione's Revenge.
Neville going evil? Wicked! :D
And what's even better, I still have a chance becoming an evil villan, thanks to the second question. (I chose the importance of a theme song on the first). >:)
Author's Response: Theme songs are important. All is not lost.
Oh goodies! This is rather educational as well.
Great list of things that should help me find an evil goal - now I know that I must raise myself an army of squirrels and chipmunks, take over the world, and impose a tax on dancing.
I'm not so sure about my arch enemy though - I'm currently considering moths and/or butterflies.
I really hope I'm doing all right with this evil villain thingy. :)
Author's Response: I\'m here to help the people. Spreading the word of evil has been one of my goals, as is currently trying to answer a few reviews for my completed stories despite the fact that i\'m horribly, horribly behind.
And I\'d suggests moths andbutterflies. Just make sure they don\'t join together to fight against you, that can cause issues.
Summary: What happens when Dumbledore has his latest "brilliant" idea, to start an advice column, and call it 'Dear Dumby'? Letters from some of our favourite Hogwarts students, some of our not so favourite Hogwarts students, some not even Hogwarts students at all, and, of course, lots of madness!
Pre-HBP for obvious reasons!
Nominee for the Best Humour Award in the Quicksilver Quill Awards! Many thanks to all who voted for it!
I agree with Ron and Harry that it's much more reasonable to wait till Hermione shows up and ask her and spend that time thinking about all the wonderful ways Snape could get himself killed than bothering to stand up and look for yourself. (I admit that I'm lazy).
Also, I know some people sometimes wish glares could kill, but how many people would like it if glares could do homework? ;)
Dear Dumby probably got sick and tired of all the people always running to him for help, giving him no time for himself and doing things he likes.
Author's Response: Well, it certainly was more interesting than going up to look at the notice board themselves, I\'ll give them that! However, I would have been far too curious to merely sit there thinking about it, myself!
You know, that\'s an excellent point about the glares! But, unfortunately, they can only really make people slightly uncomfortable. Sometimes not even that.
*Lol* Well, you\'ll have to read on to find out whether that happened to Dumby or not!
All these letters and responses were funny, but my favourite is still Ron. It's so cute (and damn confusing) how he writes about his friend, and then of course forgets that he's writing about his friend. And also the part when he asks help for his, no, his friend's, no, his Potions homework. :P Ron's simply adorable. :)
Author's Response: My favourite was Ron\'s too! How can anyone not <3 Ron/Hermione?! And no one, and I mean no one can question Ron\'s adorability! *whispers* Although I found his letter a tad confusing too!
Oh, Ron, sweet Ron! :P I'd bang my head on the table as well if I were Harry; of course, I'd clean the plate away first.
Hehe, I love the way Ron reacted when Harry mentioned Hermione after he had finished his essay.
And Snape giving detention for “laughing and general merriment”, that's very Snape-ish indeed. :)
Author's Response: Well, you\'re more sensible than Harry then! But desperate times call for quick thinking! *Giggles* Yes - poor Ron! Thanks, I\'m glad you thought Snape sufficiently evil!
*tries to imagine Snape doing freestyle water skiing* :D He should really try it. They got a lake in Hogwarts, and everything, and Giant Squid might be able to help him out.
Hmm, you're right - there isn’t a dry cleaning service for 'other beings’. And what if he got bloody only because he... he... had a nosebleed!?
Author's Response: *Giggles at imagry* You have to wonder why he doesn\'t try it...okay, not really! Exactly! The wizarding world is prejuedice in more than one way - against other beings without dry cleaning services!!
Snape gave Draco only a P+? Wow, he must be in a really bad mood. Perhaps water skiing would help?
Hermione is really trying, isn't she? :P
And go Crabbe! :)
Author's Response: Oh, he was! Don\'t forget, he\'d been denied the DADA position once again - and the Giant Squid got peckish and chose Snapes undergarments (which it later regretted) when he went out for the water skiing. Shame.
Yes, bless Hermione - although I have to say I feel more sorry for Ron! Thanks for reviewing!
Summary: ONE SHOT. Luna Lovegood finally realises the answer to a problem that has puzzled her for years. A short songfic about love, loss and letting go. Written for the SQ Songfic challenge.
It was so sad and beautiful. I loved the way you portrayed Luna and her mother. My favourite part was that of Luna watching her mother collate the paper, thinking it better than magic.
Also, I liked her theories of why the balloon had burst, its real reason, and her reaction to finding out the truth.
And the last line was simply perfect. :)
Summary: It's the Christmas holiday for Hermione. She is alone with her parents at their apartment in London, immersed in what she is best in - reading and studying. But then one evening it starts snowing...
That was so sweet! I really liked the part about snowflakes... also, very well written. :)
Author's Response: Well, snow is my favourite part of winter;)
Summary: Ever wonder what the world of Harry Potter would be like as a soap opera? Me neither – until now, that is. Set in Harry’s 6th year, think of this as the parts of the Half Blood Prince that JKR didn’t want us to see. If you're into unconventional ships, this one's for you! Behold… As the Wizarding World Turns
Episode 9 is up!
*****Excerpt from a later chapter*****
"Haven’t you heard the rumors about her – one date Weasley.”
“One date what!?” Harry stared at Hermione dumfounded. He turned his head towards Ginny who once again started snogging Dean. Dean’s hands wandered to his girlfriend’s bum as she pulled the lower half of his body closer. “Hmm… makes sense,” he admitted.
“Anytime she brings up that sort of thing, I try to act like I have loads of experience too, but actually I have no idea what I’m talking about.”
“But what about you and Krum?” Harry asked, still visibly uncomfortable about their conversation.
“Oooh big deal. So we kissed a couple times. That means I must be a demon in the sack,” Hermione answered sarcastically. “Look, I was thinking…” Hermione started to blush. “I need to find someone I know to you know… practice with.”
This was great. 'It’s as if someone is just thinking up these new people each year – like characters in a story.' ~ Fabulous. And Luna's 'All I know, Hermione, is that I’ve worn an orchid in my hair everyday for the past five days and I haven’t encountered a single snigpot.' Hehe. Aww, poor Bella - oh, the pangs of dispriz'd love!