Summary: It seemed to Sirius that a day hadn't gone by without him seeing the girl at least once. Whether it was in the courtyard, the common room, or the corridors, their shared glances and heated looks entranced him.
Once more I am adventuring out of my typical MWPP reading into something entirely new- Sirius/OC! So this is a really delightful experience and yours would happen to be the first fic I have read of this kind. (Excluding the one I wrote, of course.)
I absolutely adore your OC and would love to know who she is! You have done a marvelous job of giving her both fieriness and vulnerability. It is a really unusual combination and most authors cannot carry it off without making their characters look like complete Mary-Sue’s. But Abigail, you have managed to do a wonderful job in this aspect. She is a very lovable and friendly character while at the same time she projects an aura of poise.
Sirius too is perfectly in character. We know him to be a bit of a playboy so you have got that part down perfectly. I long to know who this mystery girl is who managed to take Leanne’s Sirius in.
Sirius looked up, startled, at the girl who had just stormed into the common room. He’d seen her around, of course; when you lived in the same dormitory all year, you began to recognise your fellow housemates. He couldn’t remember her name, but he was fairly certain she was only a year under him.
I think that is Sirius right there! You have characterised him wonderfully. You see, it is really typical of him to not remember just another girl or housemate and it is purely human to recognize a face which has been in the background for so long. What I am trying to say is, I really admire your writing style and choice of words here.
‘Do you know, you’re right,’ Sirius said. ‘I mean, that is what I usually do. Not that I shove my tongue down every girl’s throat, but yeah, I don’t normally pay attention to what they’re saying.’
I was really surprised by Sirius’ frank honesty there. But I loved this part! It was so sweet and fluffy! You have a real knack for writing parts that make you want to go ‘Awww….’, Abigail. It was so very sweet. I think Sirius and this mysterious OC are a perfect match for each other.
I loved the wizarding version of ‘Pride and Prejudice’! ‘Potions and Prejudice’ is just priceless and added intrigue to the fic.
Overall, I would say you have a very sweet and fluffy fic on your hands, Abigail. Excellent!