+ PI Accredited Beta Reader
+ Summer School Student
+ Slytherin of the Month: July
+ Nominated for Most Helpful User of Excerpts of Murtlap: July
+ Coffee addict
That's just about all that can be said about me. Have a nice day!
::mouth drops:: Bloody brilliant! This is the first and only Slash fic I've read before and I don't think it could get any better than this. I'm going to add it to my favourites when I'm done reviewing.
It was put together very nicely. It felt so real, and so touching. I even cried, something I haven't done because of a story in nearly a year. I had many favourite parts throughout the story, especially in this chapter. The characters were written so beautifully, it made me smile with how well you put them together. And the plot... oh jeez, thought out very well. There really is not a single bad thing I can find about this fic! Can't wait until the prequel!
I really like this! I think it's believable, and I really appreciate that Draco and Hermione are just friends, having put aside their differences. I love how you tie everything together so nicely.
A comma would do some good at certain places in the story, however, it's nothing very noticable.
All in all, it was put together beautifully. Keep up the good work, m'dear, and give yourself and your Beta a pat on the back for me.
My name is Ronin Peregrine, or at least that is what you will know me by. I am a former Auror turned mercenary living in an undisclosed location.
Ten years ago Harry Potter and Lord Voldemort engaged in the greatest confrontation the world has ever seen. As the prophecy foretold, one of the two would die. Little to anyone’s knowledge, Voldemort and Harry Potter were not two people, but yet two parts of one man, Segam Merlin. Harry the good, and Voldemort the evil dueled until both sides were dead, one person, Segam.
Don’t worry if none of this is making sense to you, it all will be explained in due time. Sadly, muggles soon learned of us, and now in the settling wake of their battle our two worlds strive to make one. In wake of this a new war is brewing, one that was hidden under the veil of the returned Voldemort. Both sides have secretly turned to me to put an end to this war, before it begins.
The Armageddon, a mysterious band of wizards, is on an operative mission from an unknown caller to spark this war. My job is simple; find the caller, find the target, and save two worlds before its too late.
I read this a few weeks ago and put it in my favourites. Then today, I looked in my favourites, opened up this story, re-read it, and now I'm here. Anyway, I love it! Very mysterious and intriguing, not to mention clever. The plot sucked me in, and the characters seem well thought out. I'd be thrilled if you updated sometime soon. Definitely a 10/10
I think the idea of this story is fantastic! It shows how much the Blacks endured all at the same time, and the impact is clear. The characterization is done so nicely. I especially love the emphasis that you put on Tonk's stubbornness... very in character. In addition, I love the dialect you have your characters use - it really adds to the story.
I did notice the following mistake: “You’re mum’ll try to make you change it back,” Ted answered with a laugh.
"You're" should be changed to "Your" because it's showing possession, not the contraction of 'you are'.
On the whole, great job! I enjoyed reading it.
Ooh! I'm impressed! The tone you wrote this in really imitates the fear that Voldemort creates very well. My favourite part is [i]"Strangling light and severing hope
The weak are screaming, the strong can't cope".[/i]
It shows that both the mentally weak and strong people are frightened of him, and that's a powerful sentence. The ending has this dark beauty about it, and it somehow reminds me a lot of the Phantom in Phantom of the Opera. As I was reading the poem, I pictured a bloody battle and mother's crying over their children dying, etc, and then there's Voldemort, who's responsible for it all, and it really created these strong emotions… but I don't exactly know how to explain it. I did notice that it moves on gradually from one thing to the next. It starts off with the narrator seeming angry, then sad, then focused on power, and then on pain, which is great that you got all of those things in there. All in all, I'm quite blown away, so excellent work!
Author's Response: Well, where to start? Thankyou for the marvellous review, I really enoyed reading it. I\'m sorry for the delayed response, I\'ve had quite a hectic weekend! I\'m very glad that you\'ve been able to gain such descriptive pictures from this poem; i\'s one of my faveourite pieces of work. :D So anyway, thankyou very much fr that little ego boost and have a nice day! Lots of Love xxxx Dquill
As promised, here's your review, Tom. =) I know this one was written ages ago, but I'm a fan of one-shots. This is the first fic of yours I have ever read, and I'm highly impressed. I find Bella to be an intriguing character, and I hate when people write the cliché of her being evil just because she can be. Every character has a reason for doing what they do, even the evil ones, and a lot of writer's don't understand that, but you're spot on. Jo only shows us Bella's actions, without explaining why she is the way she is. The way you wrote it makes it so plausible, that it could truly be the reason for Bella's actions as seen in the books. I spotted some run-ons in the beginning that could have been broken down to better understand, but other than that, very well written. I can tell that you thought this out right down to the last detail (or did you?), and I appreciate that. I don't know why, but this line struck me: 'The words “repent” and “fiery depths” were just audible but the rest was whipped away by another gust of wind.' Something about the wording is just lovely. Anyway, I've rambled on long enough now. I'm off to check out the rest of 'An Insider's View'. Fabulous job! Best Bella fic I've ever read, by far.
Wow, this plotline was unexpected, but enjoyed, nonetheless. How did you ever come up with such a point of view? I think it's quite brilliant how you wrote him a fleshed out perosnality. He really could be a person. My favourite part was this: 'Celeres snorted sadly, small chance of that being repeated, having a bird’s nest in each nostril didn’t really allow one to be called “fearsome”. “Interesting” maybe, “distinguished” if you were feeling kind, but not “fearsome”.' I found some subtle humour in that, and I adore it. I love the little references to events in the book that are scattered throughout this... it winds in well with your own take on the situation. Wonderful job! I never knew I could be so interested by something like this.
Do you realize how brilliant you are, Jennaferator? I feel the need to bow down to you... so don't mind me kissing your shoes. Lucius is so mean and I LOVE it! But at the same time my heart goes out to Draco, because naturally, he's one of the best characters around, and he makes me laugh in your stories with all his rude remarks. And I love the Phantom references! Update soon please... I'll love you forever =]
Even though I R&Red a week or two ago... this is for the Scavenger Hunt. (I'm not gunna leave Madness to fend for herself! Get your butt going...) :) Great chapter! Draco's feelings are very real, and I especially love the trial. Harry's decision was quite ironic, but very believable. I could actually imagine Jo writing that part, and the canon was all very precise when Draco stood in front of the Wizengamot. However, I did notice that Pansy called Draco "Drake." While I could imagine her calling him that, it isn't canon. Lovely fic, so continue updating to please me, dear! <3
Oh Jenny... I think this is the best chapter yet! You revealed so much about Deirdre! *grin* I love Lucius in this chapter.. and the whole doll idea is just amazing. I really love the journal entry, too... that was so well written. This chapter was simply amazing... definitely worth the wait!
Author's Response: Awwww Thank you so much Steph! I decided now would have been a good time to give an idea about Deidre\'s character. hehe. Thanks for reading & reviewing! *blushes*
Well hello there. :) Just dropped by to say that I absolutely looveee this story. It's a shame really that you have to choose between such temptations: write more lovely chapters for this or help out our House with all those challenge-thingys so we can win the House Cup. Hmm. I'm adding you to my favourites so I demand an update Miss Jennaferator, that is if you don't want to be subjected to water torture by yours truly. Pretty banner, and I must say you were smart to choose Robyn. Now I'll shut up. :) Toodles.
Anddd.. I wanted to say that that review was suppossed to be for chapter five. Well for the whole story I mean. You know. God I'm retarded. Bye now.
Author's Response: Hahah, its okay dear. You're so adorably hyper. haha. Hyper Sevi. =] And I cant spell. =O See. Thats why Robyn's cool. xD
Aw, this is so moving! It sent all of these shivers down my spine. I finally found an angsty fic centring around Ginny that I like! *is ecstatic* I love that you kept her personality in tact. I could totally see her reacting this way to the death of Harry. The fact that she's in denial and had to escape made me fall in love with this ficcie even more. I love it, great job!
Author's Response: This was my first story ever so I\'m not too happy with it, but it\'s goo to see that other people enjoy reading it! :) And this is probably the end of your Debbie-hunt. Hope you had fun and hopefully I\'ll post something very soon. Thanks for reading & reviewing!
Beautiful! But... I'm going to have to sue you for making me blubber and cry like the sensative idiot I am. It's so angsty... so perfect. I love it. I'm still on my quest: the hunt for all Debbie's angsty ficcies. My goal: R&R all of 'em before 2 am.
Author's Response: Oh this is one of the best reviews I\'ve ever got. Thank you, thank you, thank you! *hugs* For the first time in my life, I don\'t know what to say. :) Thanks again.
Oh. My. God. I didn't think it remotely possible for me to even like this pairing, but I think now I'm going to ship it. This pairing is beyond believable the way you wrote it, and Draco's determination to get Ron really shows through. I love that you followed canon, because that just ups the believability. Both Ron and Draco are in character, which is rare for a pairing like this. I really like Draco's little prodding hints to Ron that he likes him, especially where he keeps suggesting that Ron has been with other guys. My favourite part is: “Eat slugs, Malfoy.”
“I prefer tadpoles, thanks. Ever tried them?”
It adds a touch of humour to the story and really lightens up the mood between them, however unnoticeably, methinks. I also really like the part that goes: "Maybe I like you."
. . . "Maybe I don't like you."
"Maybe I fancy you."
There's just, ah, something about it that made me reread those lines repeatedly. I think it’s the way you had Draco present that information to Ron that really made me like that part. I can just feel Ron's surprise at that comment.
There's not much else to say except that I'm blown away. I'm going to go read the rest of this series now. Excellent job!
Author's Response: Ooh! What a lovely long rich review! Thanks!
Don\'t they make the neatest little couple? They\'ve given me all sorts of things to draw on, though I doubt Jo had that in mind, somehow. I found the pairing very hard to take seriously when the challenge was issued, and that may be where those bits of levity came in -- or maybe that\'s just Draco himself, and Ron. And now they seem to be my OTP. I just have to figure out how to get them back together and still keep it in canon.
Okay, that's it. Expect to be sued. My mum just called me a blubbering moron, and I have too much pride to be called that. I hate H/G, but this has to be one of my favourite stories ever. The emotions were so... real! No, more realistic than reality, I'm serious. I, your new biggest fangirl, proclaim you the Queen of Angst. Or you could be Prime Minister if you like. Whatever, I just... am speechless. Brilliant, you are.
Author's Response: Ooooh, Queen of Angst...I like that! But I\'m not into politics so Prime Minister just wouldn\'t do. *gives bunch of flowers to screaming fangirl* There you go, a little reward for being so good this weekend. Thanks for reviewing!
The riddles were very clever! 'Tis a fun little story, I enjoyed reading it. Short, sweet and original.
Now, I'll provide some constructive crit...
1.Scanning the covers, he found 5 books about Polyjuice and started to open them randomly.
2.He didn't had time to take 5 strides that he heard menaces and dares coming out of the portrait.
In both numbers one and two, '5' would be spelled out as 'five,' according to the English language rules. Also, in number two, 'had' would be changed to 'have' -- you just got your past/present tense mixed up.
Also, madam Pomfrey is a pronoun, therefore the "M" in "Madame" is capitalised, too.
"Where there more than one person?"
"Where" is used incorrectly. An example of the correct way would be, "Where is she?" However, in this case it would be "Was there more than one person?"
Those are just a few things I noticed. I saw other spelling and grammer mistakes near the end that a Beta would be glad to fix. However, all in all, I really like it! Keep writing, and don't get discouraged by my critique; it's the first steps to learning and improving.
Author's Response: Thank you for the helpful tips... I'm currently searching a beta before submitting my next story so hopefully it will be better. And yes, verb tenses are defenitly a headache...
This is beyond beautiful! I'm going to add it to my favourites in a minute.
The flow of the writing fit the mood perfectly. The short, choppy sentences got right to the point, and never failed to bring out Mrs. Black's personality through her thoughts. The metaphor you sprinkled throughout the fic made it even more lovely. I love the idea you have with her life being compared to a garden. Not to mention, you tied it in very well... what with her knowing someone who's life revolved around gardens. This really stirred my emotions; it was so beautiful. Fabulous job!
Author's Response: A thousand thanks for your very kind words. :) I've come to the conclusion that it's always important to look into things from every possible point of view and with this story I tried to describe how (the portrait of) Mrs. Black sees everything. I'm glad you liked it.
*Squees because she finally found her OTP and because this is completely brilliant.* Minerva and Tom were both so perfectly in character... I could truly see Jo writing the younger versions of them that way. The encounter is far from casual; they both know what the other wants, and you can tell from their actions. The ending has a lovely finality to it, which I also like. Great job... I love it!
How original! I never would have thought up this pairing even in my wildest dreams, so cheers to you! I really like the idea of this being in a letter instead of face to face, because this way we hear what Aberforth wants to say and Dumbledore's opinions really don't matter. I love that he speaks of past memories with her, because once someone dies, all anyone can do is remember the good times that they shared, so it's very realistic in that sense. The fact that he wants her last wish to be granted so badly says a lot of his character. I really love the idea of him contacting his brother asking for help even though Dumbledore may be upset with him for not informing him of what was going on. In addition, all your ideas flow swiftly into the next, almost perfectly, and I admire that. Fantastic work overall.
Author's Response: Thanks! I would like to think that even Aberforth has feelings, and romantic ones too. I really appreciate this review, it shows that my intentions came across. Thank you again!