I really enjoyed this. It's really nice to see a story that focuses a lot on Amos Diggory, as he is a character we don't see much of in the books. I think you've characterized him very well here. Amos had gloried in his son's glory, felt accomplished in his son's achievements, been young once more in his son's youth. I liked this line a lot. I thought it summarized Amos's character really well in one sentence. It shows that Amos had sort of lived vicariously through his son, which he does seem to do in GoF.
I loved the beginning, with the prophecy. It set up the story quite well, and the end just goes along with it so perfectly. They're like bookends or something. And the Mopsy reference was great. A nice little...shout out, if you will. The prophecy itself I thought was worded nicely. I probably wouldn't have capitalized 'immortality,' but I also tend not to capitalize creatively. Not to mention I probably wouldn't be able to write such a nice prophecy, so...point defeated.
I really liked the use of the Lethifold. It was such a perfect creature for this, I think. However, I was a little confused with the whole who obliviated whom. I figured it was Macnair who obliviated Amos, but it took some rereading for me to fully understand it. I think maybe attributing the "Obliviate" would help a lot to clarify that part of the story.
So overall, this was really good. It was a good read, and the exploration of Amos's character was great. I loved reading about him, especially since you characterized him so well. Keep up the great work!
That was great! The part with Sirius, Remus and Harry was especially entertaining. You have succeeded in making me laugh! I also loved the reference to Judas; it was very appropriate. Cats take care of themselves, not babies! That was very funny as well... overall a wonderful chapter! Moving on to the next one...
Author's Response: Oh Dory, I love your reviews, they keep me smiling! I hope you like the next chappie just as much!
"Wait - I just heard it." That was great. The whole chapter was so great I don't know where to begin. I loved how the tension between all the characters was very evident. It was very real. Everything to do with James's and Lily's deaths makes me so sad... I hate how they underestimated Peter and suspected Remus... commence tears... anyway, can't wait for an update! 10/10 for you!!
Author's Response: Haha - that was my favorite line. I'm really happy that I captured the tension as you have described it, that's what I was aiming for. Updates asap!
I've been reading your story for a while now, but I only just got myself an account, so I can finally review. I love it! You've got the Marauders perfectly in character! I loved the exchange between Sirius and James about whether stags could canter! Can't wait for more! 10/10 for you!!
Author's Response: Yay - I'm so glad you liked that bit, it made me laugh when I thought of it. So glad you reviewed! I hope I continue to hold your attention with this fic.
Oh wow! That was brilliant! I really was not expecting that at all... Genius! I absolutely love it! I don't know what else to say except that you've written this wonderfully and I am impressed! 10/10
This is a good start. I liked Hagrid with Sniffles, it was so cute! (And, unfortunately, exactly like him) I thought the beginning was a little too similar to the beginning of HBP, I would suggest trying to change that up a bit. One big thing I found a little unbelievable was that Hermione's whole foot got bitten off. That seemed a little extreme. I would've had her just get a nasty cut or something like that. Oh, and I would capitalize the other words in your title so it reads: No Secrets From Friends. It looks better like that, to me, but I guess it's really up to you. Nice start!
You know, I'm not a huge Snape fan, but I really liked this. I love your writing style. It flows really nicely and the mechanics were great. The only thing that jumped out at me was the long paragraphs. There were a few places that I felt like the paragraph could be split up, but that's a very minor thing.
I also really liked the characterization. At first I thought that maybe Snape was being a little too open, but then I decided that that was exactly how he needed to be for Dumbledore to trust him. And the insight into Dumbledore's character was great. I loved reading what was going through his mind as he was trying to decide what to do.
And on a side note, I thought it was cool that you mentioned Regulus having died because he wouldn't kill a Muggle child. That's what I did in my Regulus fic. ;-) Neato.
Hah, Regulus... I'll have to check your story out! -S.
Good thing you've put Hector into hiding because he's definitely gonna need it! Great chapter! That whole Amanda Jennings thing was very funny... I also loved the line about James being scared of Sirius... wonderful. That's all I can say. Wonderful. On to the next chapter... See, I've realized that if I forget to check every other day for an update, then when I finally do get around to checking, there's two new chapters for me! Great system actually... 10/10
I just discovered your story this weekend, and I became instantly hooked! I think you've done a great job creating an OC and I can't wait for more! Please update soon! 10/10 for you!!
Poor Jocelyn. Poor Sirius. I'm so sad for them. But I'm so so happy for James and Lily! I guess I can't make up my mind about whether this chapter was sad or happy... on to the next chapter, which I just realized is up...
That was such a great chapter! "Who's Shakespearean?" that made me laugh out loud! I absolutely LOVE this story! But I don't love Hector. Grrr... he's messing things up between Sirius and Jocelyn (not that Sirius wasn't already doing a fine job of that...) Update soon!
Author's Response: Aw, thanks (I do find that line rather amusing, I admit).... I sincerely hope you don't like Hector.... Hmm, yes Sirius is doing a "fine job" of messing things up between him and Jocelyn; soon, however, you will see that Jocelyn can also excel in this area.... *evil laughter* .... I know, I know: I'm awful!
Ok I am giving you the award for speedy updating! Yay James and Lily are together!!! And Jocelyn is getting better!!! This was such a great chapter! Update soon! 15/10 for you!!
This was definitely a much better chapter than the last one. Right back up to your usual standard, I think. After all, this does make me want to hunt you down, but then again I do want more of the story and like you said, if you're gone then we can't have more...poo
So anyway, this was a wonderful chapter. The beginning with the studying and Sirius being a smartass was great. I had to stop myself from laughing because I'm in class right now... the end was great as well, I guess it was inevitable that something like this had to happen. Ah well, you've written this wonderfully and I am impatiently waiting for the next one. Update soon!! 10/10
This was a great chapter!! Still despising Hector... I applaud James for speaking up like that, though I'm not sure he chose the best way to confront Jocelyn... but it did get things rolling. The last part was brilliant! The line about Sirius's tear was so sad and makes me want to beat him for being such a poo (I know, I know, sophisticated vocab...). Don't leave us hanging too long! Update soon! 10/10
Great chapter! Man do I really hate the whole lot of Blacks (except for Sirius and Jocelyn of course!). Grave danger? uh oh... I'm interested to see more of Hector, but I don't think I'll like him very much. I don't want anything to get in the way of Sirius and Jocelyn! But maybe he's important in another way, more than just love triangle?... Can't wait for more! Update soon! 10/10
While I don't think this chapter is as good as the others, I do think it is necessary. Sometimes you have to write chapters that you don't particularly like. I did like the bit about the girl (forgive me, I don't remember her name) being upset because Sirius didn't kiss her. I am excited for more so hopefully you will update soon! 7-8/10
That. Was. Absolutely. Amazing. This has to be my favorite chapter yet! Some things I liked (ok loved) in particular:
"Yes. It's official." Yes it is, yes it is. By the way, I would definitely join the I'm Sick of Hector Freemonte Club, but I do see what you're saying about him. It really isn't his fault.
The reference to a Lilac Brown. Is that supposed to be Lavender's mother? I just thought with the gosipping type thing...
"Well I know what kind of progress you're not making!" Go Remus! You tell him! Somebody needed to say it...
The whole fight between Remus and Sirius was wonderful. You wrote it extremely well and of course I loved what came after it! I was hoping that would happen soon! So beautiful and perfect and great and amazing and well you get the idea... anyway, this was definitely, without a doubt, a superb chapter! Please please update soon! million/10!!!
Thank you very much!
Yes, it definitely is...
Lilac is Lavender's paternal aunt...
Yes, someone did need to say it!
Again, thank you!
Awesome chapter! Jocelyn really did lose control... I thought the line about Sirius finally being defeated was great. Really nice, as Sirius seems so used to getting his way and winning. Well, I guess Jocelyn's going to be a little harder to win... I hate Hector. With a passion. Update soon! 10/10
I like the start of this. You've set it up nicely and Jessica's character is great. I love all her thoughts. They make her seem like a real person and not just a random OC. However, I do think she realized Fudge was lying a bit too early. It didn't take her very long. I would have given her a little more time. But overall, very nice work.
Author's Response: I'm so glad you like the beginning...I truly hope you read further. It takes about seven chapters to set it all up, and then the story and more plot take over. Hope you like it.
Wow. This was wonderful! You have such a way with words. I could feel all the emotions. It was really sad, but sad in that way that makes me happy because you accomplished it so well (if that makes any sense...). I love how you handled Snape's relationship with his mother. And the ending, the ending was great. Perfect. I really don't have any criticism for you. Excellent job!