Penname: songbook99 [Contact]
Real name: Karin
Member Since: 10/04/05
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Since I was in about second grade, I have been an obsessive reader and writer. I have spent many hours reading books late into the night because I just couldn't put them down, and the same can be said about my writing. However, I haven't been able to spend as much time reading or writing stuff for myself lately because I've had to spend more time reading and writing the stuff required in my courses for my Master's degree in English Literature. But, I'm still able to make a little time each day to relax and take a break from studying to enjoy reading something different.
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Reviews by songbook99
 

Summary: Past Featured StoryEntered for the Redemption Challenge by Slian Martreb of Ravenclaw. Set on New Year's of Harry's fourth year, this is the tale of what happens to two men who loved too much.
(SSP warning, and one character gets roaring drunk)

Edit 1/17: Oh. And it won. The challenge. *smug*

Categories: Remus/Sirius Genre: Warnings: Slash, Substance Abuse

Word count: 7890 Chapters: 4 Completed: Yes
Published:
11/17/05 Updated: 12/19/05


Reviewer: songbook99 Signed
Date: 12/20/05 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter Two

Can I just say that I felt myself get cold reading about all that ice cold water that poor Sirius was being soaked in? No wonder he thought Remus was trying to do him in. Of course, this whole chapter is pretty hysterical because of how drunk Sirius is, not to mention his many thoughts about 'bits' and 'parts.' I was laughing through the majority of this chapter. At least Sirius is a happy drunk. Now on to more serious subject matter. As much as you may stick out your tongue at me, I have to agree with V.V. about that sentence needing another comma. I also noticed a spot where I'm pretty sure you're missing a period: 'He was sitting naked in the empty tub for a moment before it was suddenly filled with lovely hot water, easing him He felt nearly every muscle in his body melt in the delicious warmth.' It seems that there should be a period after 'him,' which I have bolded to make it easier to find. Also, continuing my apparent love affair with commas, I think you should add a comma in this sentence: ' “I promise,” Sirius said solemnly and Remus left the bathroom.' In my opinion, there should be a comma after 'solemnly' before 'and.' Now that I have done my little bit of nit-picking, I am bracing myself to see a tongue being stuck out at me. All in all, and nit-picking aside, I really enjoyed this chapter. Beginning with Sirius waking up in a bath tub full of cold water is funny to everyone but him. But, your ending has to be my favorite part because of how touching it is. It really shows how caring Remus can be and how in need of it Sirius is. I'm looking forward to reading the rest of the story, especially the two new chapters you have already posted.

Author's Response: I am glad you laughed. I probably had much too much fun writing it. I am also *squee* thrilled that you got to it once it was done and so did not read only two chapters and forget about it as about two hundred other people seem to have done. (Shame on all of you.) I shall consider the corrections when I am not waiting on tenterhooks for a certain two hour finale to begin.... Oh, and if you read 'The Puppies!" the bit about the socks will be explained....

 
Reviewer: songbook99 Signed
Date: 12/20/05 Title: Chapter 3: Chapter Three

Wow. I can't help but feel sorry for Remus in this chapter. Although Sirius is rather pitiable, even when he emerges from his hangover, Remus is the one that is getting the raw deal. You do a great job of portraying Remus from the beginning of this chapter to the end. He starts out calm, trying to reason with Sirius, but the more Sirius persists in wallowing in self-pity, the more Remus gets upset. However, there were three large chunks of Remus' dialogue that each seemed to have something odd in them.

1. ' “You did what you thought you had to do and you had James and Lily’s permission to switch! There’s no way of knowing that Voldemort wouldn’t have gone after them later on If you think about it, you’ve kept Voldermort from the wizarding world for the last thirteen years; you’re practically a hero!” ' Okay, here goes. In my opinion, I think there should be a comma after 'do' in the first line of this dialogue. You'll probably stick your tongue out for that one, but I thought I should mention it anyway. Nevertheless, I have bolded two words between which should probably be a period, especially since you have capitalized the 'i' in 'it.' Lastly, I bolded your second mention of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named because you added an extra 'r' and made it 'Voldermort' instead of 'Voldemort.'

2. ' “And, while I regret James and Lily’s death every single day,” Remus went on passionately, “it is an unarguable fact that Harry’s circumstances has provided him with abilities he wouldn’t have had or needed if he had grown up with two parents. And besides, it isn’t your fault that Harry’s an orphan, it’s Peter’s!” ' This one is fairly simple. I believe 'has,' which I have bolded, should be 'have' since Remus is talking about Harry's 'circumstances.'

3. ' “You did what you thought was best for them And,” he continued, his eyes boring into Sirius’s intensely, “it is not your fault that I’m poor. Though you did not have to reference the fact so bluntly,” he added grudgingly.' This last one is just another simple case of a period which I think has been left out between the two words that I have bolded.

I promise not to leave another review like this one where I put my bit of nit-picking in paragraphs, but I thought I should since the quotations of your dialogue were so long. (Also, you are supposed to get a small laugh out of it as I was being a bit of a brat in response to you sticking out your tongue.) Anyhow, I enjoyed this chapter just as much as I have enjoyed the majority of your chapters. The writing is really good and the storyline thus far as been phenomenally funny with just the right bit of sentimentality. Ending this chapter with Remus storming out of the room and slamming the door is an excellent mental picture. It's about time he got fed up enough with Sirius to do something like that. Bravo Remus! I'm off to find out what has happened after the door slamming.



Author's Response: Darling, at this point, I'd be disappointed if you didnt' nit-pick. Lol. And I got a TREMENDOUS laugh out of it. Everyone has just told me to shut-up. ;P

 

New Year, New Hope by pandafan81
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 22]

Summary: Response to Winter Snows Challenge # 1 for Hufflepuff House. The cold and the wet went unnoticed to the lone person wandering the streets. The numbness he felt had nothing to do with the chill. His heart was frozen. For him, this day, of all days, was the worst day of the year. How could anyone see this day as a cause for celebration? Certainly Voldemort was gone, but so was the one person who made life worth living. Seven years had passed since Voldemort’s downfall; but so had seven years since her smile was last seen. How anyone could pluck up the courage to celebrate this day was beyond him.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 2985 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/09/05 Updated: 12/09/05


Reviewer: songbook99 Signed
Date: 04/04/06 Title: Chapter 1: New Year, New Hope

Hey, Amanda. What a wonderful piece of fiction. I absolutely love your story because of the wealth of emotion you are able to portray in two of my most favorite male characters. Their emotions were totally palpable throughout the whole story, especially the long-suffering Ron. His reaction to the loss of Hermione is very realistic, and I found it very ironic that this encounter with Harry and eventual acceptance of Hermione's death occurred seven years after that event as seven is, as Dumbledore pointed out, the most magical number.

Another thing I really loved about your story was the practically perfect contrast of the lives of the men Harry and Ron become. Harry has finally gotten the family he has always longed for in not only his marriage to Ginny and their kids but also his becoming a true member of the Weasley family. Ron, on the other hand, has isolated himself in his grief and is no longer able to be a part of the rich family life he always enjoyed, even when he complains about having so many siblings. The most amazing thing about the contrast, though, is exactly what you point out: the fact that it could've been the exact opposite had Lucius Malfoy's curse hit its intended target. So, while you are drawing a stark contrast between their lives, you also highlight the fact that it could have been flipped around on them, which is definitely something that both the characters and the readers should really think about.

Now, as much as I loved your story, I think you may want to go back through a do a tiny bit of editing. The only thing that really caused me to pause a little bit while reading this wonderful story was that every time you meant lose, you wrote loose. At first, I thought maybe I was reading the sentences wrong, but every time I went back thorugh them I realized that loose did not really fit in with the sentence.

All in all, though, this whole story was simply marvelous. The emotion evident throughout the piece is very touching and felt it from the beginning to the end. Of course, the ending was my favorite because it really highlights how cathartic it can be to share pain with someone else. When Ron is finally able to share the pain of Hermione's loss with Harry, he is also able to heal and realize that life will go on for him. That is a very wonderful moment. You have done a great job, Amanda. I truly love this story.



Author's Response: Thank you so much Karin! This was a wonderfully in-depth review! I appreciate it! I like that you picked up on the role reversal. That was really the point I was trying to make. And thank you for pointing out my Loose/lose issue. That is a common mistake I make unfortunately, so sometimes they sneak by me. Anyway, again, thank you for the wonderful Review!

 

The Puppies! by Slian Martreb
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 15]

Summary: Written by Slian Martreb of Ravenclaw House for the Secret Gifts Challenge. Attempt at a lighter one-shot to give new meaning to the phrase 'the puppies!" with the hope of making Wolfstar shippers squee. One Shot. Enjoy!

Categories: Remus/Sirius Genre: Warnings: Slash

Word count: 1751 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/20/05 Updated: 12/20/05


Reviewer: songbook99 Signed
Date: 01/09/06 Title: Chapter 1: Christmas Presents

Yet another fantastic short-fic from you. This is a great one-shot that you use quite well to capture a great Christmas moment. I love the way that you tie this in so well with your other fic "No One Can Save You From Yourself." I won't mention anything about commas, though, because I don't want to have to endure your tongue being stuck out at me again. **wink** However, I think you are missing a word, which I added in bold, in this sentence: 'Remus was back to sleep long before Sirius, a soft smile on his face, making him beautiful even [b]in[/b] his sleep.' I just couldn't read this sentence without adding that word, and even when I went back and tried to make sense of it without it, it just didn't work. Also, I'm pretty sure there is a typo, which I have bolded, in this sentence: ' “You know,” he added after a moment, “James [b]if[/b] going to have a ball with this.” ' I think the word 'if' should be 'is' instead. Okay, aside from my two little bits of nit-picking, I absolutely loved this one-shot. It gave me a little warm fuzzy feeling that I associate with Christmas. Very well done, as always!

Author's Response: Yay! Thank you! I shall even forgive the double-posting (again) Heh. Lovely for upping my count and what not. This didn't really start out this way; in the original version they both got puppies. But I had written that before the challenge and figured only the one-way would work best. Maybe, one day, I shall post the other version as well. And I am trying very hard to keep everything consistant, balancing things I wrote with the joint fic and all the Wolfstar list fics. *groans* Why do I do this to myself? Why? *wail* Thanks for reading! *sticking out my tongue at you for old time's sake: ;P)

 
Reviewer: songbook99 Signed
Date: 01/09/06 Title: Chapter 1: Christmas Presents

Yet another fantastic short-fic from you. This is a great one-shot that you use quite well to capture a great Christmas moment. I love the way that you tie this in so well with your other fic "No One Can Save You From Yourself." I won't mention anything about commas, though, because I don't want to have to endure your tongue being stuck out at me again. **wink** However, I think you are missing a word, which I added in bold, in this sentence: 'Remus was back to sleep long before Sirius, a soft smile on his face, making him beautiful even [b]in[/b] his sleep.' I just couldn't read this sentence without adding that word, and even when I went back and tried to make sense of it without it, it just didn't work. Also, I'm pretty sure there is a typo, which I have bolded, in this sentence: ' “You know,” he added after a moment, “James [b]if[/b] going to have a ball with this.” ' I think the word 'if' should be 'is' instead. Okay, aside from my two little bits of nit-picking, I absolutely loved this one-shot. It gave me a little warm fuzzy feeling that I associate with Christmas. Very well done, as always!

Author's Response: I have no idea of why I didn't get an e-mail about this review; so sorry to keep you waiting! I'm glad you loved it and I hope you'll love all the one-shots I have waiting for posting. Thanks!

 

by
Rated: [Reviews - ]

Summary:

Categories: Orphan Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 0 Chapters: 0 Completed: No
Published:
12/31/69 Updated: 12/31/69


Reviewer: songbook99 Signed
Date: 03/09/06 Title: None

What a great way to begin a story. I like the way you have Voldemort gathinger the Death Eaters together so he can glory in Dumbledore's death, and show them the consequences of not fulfilling a mission. It really highlights the way that Voldemort controls his followers through fear, something which you make very apparent through your portrayal of Draco. I think you have done a pretty good job of keeping Draco in character. You portray him as the arrogant, self-centered person we all know with that touch of apprehension about what he is doing that was revealed in Half-Blood Prince. The way you describe his feelings shows that there may be more to him than most people think.

However, with as much as I liked this chapter, there were two spots that seemed a little odd to me. The first was:

"Really?" Voldemort mocked, he already fully aware of what happened. "Crucio"

The 'he' after the comma probably shouldn't be there. It makes the sentence sound weird. Also, since 'Crucio' is a spell, it should be in italics and there needs to be some form of punctuation after it.

The second spot was:

Turning abruptly on Draco, he snapped. "Get up, boy! Off your knees and on your feet!"

I think the period after 'snapped' should be a comma instead as that seems to be describing the way Voldemort said the words that followed it.

Other than those two little things, though, I think you have done a really good job with this chapter. The idea of reading a story that looks at the battle from the side of Voldemort and the Death Eaters really intrigues me, and you have definitely got the start of one that looks to be pretty good. It will be inieresting to see where you take the story from here.

 

The Empire under the Sun by coppercurls
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: An ancestor of Mad-eye Moody becomes embroiled in the aftermath of the Sepoy Rebellion in India and gives his opinions. One-shot Monologue challenge, Coppercurls of Hufflepuff house.

Categories: Historical Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1149 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/11/06 Updated: 02/11/06


Reviewer: songbook99 Signed
Date: 06/05/06 Title: Chapter 1: The Empire under the Sun

Hey, that was a great little story. You do a wonderful job presenting the time period and the attitudes that the people probably held. The whole thing is fantastically believeable, especially because of all the little details you include in the story. I could really picture that bead of sweat popping out on the soldier's forehead and irritating the poor guy. What a terrible dilemma he was in trying to figure out how to relieve the irritation.


However, it was not only the details about the soldier that made the story so believeable, it was the numerous details that were specific to the location. You do a really good job of incorporating the Indian words you use throughout your story. It really grounded the story in the location. Of course, the detail about the color on the wall was great. I love the way you first describe the color and then give the character's reaction to it before actually saying what it is. That was pretty suspenseful since my original reaction was the same as the character's. Of course, it would have been nice to get a little more description of the surroundings aside from the wall with all the reddish-brown color on it. But, still, it was great to get that much detail in such a short description of the wall.


Overall, this was a really great historical story to read. You bring in little bits and pieces of history to give it that dated feel but also throw in things that make it timeless - like 'constant vigilance'. That was my very favorite part of the story. Bringing in the whole idea of 'constant vigilance' is really what made this story what it was because it cemented the tie between this nameless soldier and his descendant, May-Eye Moody. It also makes it seem that the idea of 'constant vigilance' was one passed down through the family, which is a great idea. Very well done and nicely written.



Author's Response: Thanks so much for the praise, I really appreciate it. Upon further reflection I do wish I had worked in the details of the area, but having never actually been to India (yet) I was loath to do so without much more strenuous work on the climate and plants of that area. I feel like it has to be correct if I am going to write it. *smiles sheepishly* I\'m glad you approved of constant vigilance, it just seemed right, especially coming from a soldier and being passed down to a soldier. I really appreciate all the criticism and praise, it lets me know what to work on in my next piece (and what to go back and fix!). So thanks again.

 

Waiting by Starmaiden
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 10]

Summary: Written after HBP was out, but before DH. It is therefore AU (though still, I think, plausible).

The trio is off Voldemort-hunting; Ginny works hard at school. When Hermione is injured and returns to the Hospital Wing, Ginny stays with her to talk over the events of the past year...and they wait.

Categories: Post-Hogwarts Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 1894 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/15/06 Updated: 02/15/06


Reviewer: songbook99 Signed
Date: 06/05/06 Title: Chapter 1: Waiting

Argh. I'm sorry it took me so long to post this for you. I read this a while ago and just blanked out on my review. Anyway, here it is for you. *smile*


Who would've thought that a small conversation between Hermione and Ginny could contain so much information? You do a wonderful job of packing in as much information in as few words as possible. The opening of the story is great because it shows how life has continued as normal as possible for the students at Hogwarts while those outside are fighting to return the world outside the grounds to normalcy. The flashback at the beginning helped establish the appearance of normalcy at Hogwarts and was placed in the right spot to do so before the explanation of how far from normal things truly are during the story.



Now, with all I've said about the opening of this story, I'll move on to the fact that I love that it was Hermione that was injured because she was leading the way. It just feels right for Hermione to lead at that point in the journey because she wouldn't want Harry to do so just in case something like what did happen happened. So very Hermione-like. Of course, the fact that she was the one injured and stuck in the Hospital Wing at Hogwarts was really great for your story because it allowed both Ginny and her to be completely open about everything. I can't really picture either Ron or Harry being as open with Ginny since both boys would want to protect her while Hermione understands that Ginny is a rather powerful witch and would be able to hold her own in anything she might face. But, their conversation also reflects the fact that they are teenage girls who are dealing with their emotions as much as with the outside threat of Voldemort and his Death Eaters. The balance in the conversation is great.



The only thing I really found in this whole story that seemed like it could have been explained more was Hermione's vaguely odd behavior when she murmurs about Harry and Ron being 'close'. I'm pretty sure you meant that they were getting close to their goal, either the place they were going to face off with Voldemort of the final destruction of him. However, it just seemed odd for her to know that and get a sort of faraway look whenever she felt it. I think it would've been nice to have a small little explanation of how she was able to feel their progress and know they were close. Like somehow the three of them had made a magical pact or something that would allow her, or any of them, to know or feel the progress of the others when they were separated. I do like the idea, though, that Hermione would know about it even though she is stuck in Hogwarts. It just seems right that the three of them have some connection to each other that would allow them that kind of knowledge. I just think a bit more of an explanation would've been nice to see.



Overall, this was a very nice story to read. The fact that the two girls, who were already close, were able to get closer over their discussion of what was happening beyond the walls of Hogwarts and worry about their loved ones together. It must have been nice for Ginny to finally have one of her close friends back with her, even under the circumstances in which Hermione showed up. And, of course, I think Ginny put it best when she told Hermione, “They’ll be fine, Hermione. You taught them, they can’t help but succeed.” That is just a wonderful line and it really should bolster both girls' spirits, especially since the chapter closes with Hermione's persisting feeling that the boys are getting close and everything would be over soon. It really was a lovely story. Well done.



Author's Response: Thanks! I can\'t believe you left such an in-depth response for a one-shot. Yes, I did want it to be Hermione and Ginny because of the girl dynamic -- and then I realized that if she was just injured, it\'d seem like the girls weren\'t as good. So I put her up front. I still felt a bit bad, but it\'s a better excuse. And yes, I did mean to imply that the Trio had some sort of magical connection. Telling it from Ginny\'s side, I didn\'t want to go into it much, because I thought the Trio would be really closed, even to Ginny. But you\'re probably right, that I should have clarified that. Thanks so much for your lovely thoughfulness!

 

Narcissus Rain by Periwinkle
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 10]

Summary: Narcissus Rain, by Periwinkle of Hufflepuff House, in response to Spring Challenge #2.

It's a cold, rainy day, and Hermione thinks about the Last Battle, and the effects of it on others.



Runner up in the Spring Challenge #2

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1440 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
03/14/06 Updated: 03/14/06


Reviewer: songbook99 Signed
Date: 04/18/06 Title: Chapter 1: Narcissus Rain

This is definitely a story full of emotion. The sadness and grief are present not only in the words but in the images you lace throughout the story. I really like that you use Hermione as the character for this story because, out of all the main characters, she seems to be the most contemplative and would be more likely to actually reflect on events in the manner you describe than any of the others. You have done a wonderful job capturing her character and projecting it into the future. Because you use Hermione and portray her so well, the emotions running through the story are that much more palpable than if you had chosen a different character.


However, as much as I enjoyed reading this story, it seemed very odd to me that you chose to use a Narcissus as the flower in Hermione's backyard. The reason it seemed so odd for it to be that flower is because of that flower's connection to Narcissa Malfoy. When I was first reading this story, up until the part with the book that gave it away that it was about Hermione, I thought the story was going to be about Narcissa. It might have been a better choice to use a different flower for that reason. Almost any other flower would probably have fit better, and if you wanted to use a flower that has a lot of symbolism in the series, you could have chosen to use a Lily instead of a Narcissus.


The other thing I noticed was what seemed to be an excess of punctuation, especially the comma. All of the punctuation, coupled with your mostly one and two line paragraphs sometimes made the story really choppy. There are a few places where you could probably have done without the commas in order to make it flow more smoothly. An example of that would be this line: I rejected stormy, rainy days, because they reminded me of the emotions I was enveloped by, every day and night. Unless you are trying to set the bolded part of the line off from the rest of the line, you don't really need the commas before and after it. Those commas, in my opinion, only make the sentence choppy and hard to read.


Even with those things I thought were odd about the story, it is an absolutely lovely tale that I'm glad I read. The way you use the weather to mirror Hermione's thoughts is really fantastic. It really highlights her forward movement out of her grief, the gray images of the storm, into hope for the future, the sunny images after the storm. Aside from your choice of flower, I really love the image of the flower standing through the storm only to exude its strength afterwards as the rain rolls off of it. It makes me think that Hermione is like the flower and she is finally emerging from the emotional storm she has endured since the Final Battle. Hopefully, she will be able to let the grief roll off of her as easily as the raindrops rolled off of the flower. The way you ended this story was probably my favorite part of it because it had me smiling along with Hermione as I felt, like her, that "everything would turn out just fine." What an absolutely lovely story.



Author's Response: Thank you, dear. I\'m glad you liked it. I don\'t know why I chose the flower Narcissus. It was the first one that popped into my head, and I didn\'t stop to think of other reasons of it not being so good. I\'ll watch my comma use. Thank you for the lovely review...I really appreciate it. ;)

 

What Follows Betrayal by lunafish
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 9]

Summary: Having betrayed one of his masters, Severus Snape must now justify his actions to the other. References to character death and torture, but nothing explicit. HBP Spoilers.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Abuse, Character Death

Word count: 1054 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/16/06 Updated: 04/18/06


Reviewer: songbook99 Signed
Date: 05/16/06 Title: Chapter 1: What Follows Betrayal

Wow, N, what a great look into the mind of Severus Snape. You do a wonderful job examining his character in this story. Of course, you do a great job with all of the other characters as well. Your rendition of Voldemort is really spot on. He would definitely lull his Death Eaters into thinking he was truly merciful only to pull them back in by making one torture another. Likewise, you do a good job with both Draco and Narcissa as they would only be willing to offer themselves in place of the other. Neither one would make that offer for anyone else. My favorite part about the whole opening scene, though, had to be the little twist you have there about Severus' two masters being Voldemort and Narcissa. I never saw that coming.


The only thing I noticed which might've enhanced that opening scene was an order from Voldemort to Narcissa about having to watch Severus torture Draco. That just seems like the type of thing Voldemort would do to ensure she saw it and didn't turn away. He would want that type of vengeance as well for her going to Severus to help her save her son. Plus, I think it would've added a nice little twist to the whole bit about Severus having to be the one to torture Draco. Other than that, though, I couldn't see any possible improvements on anything else.


Your ending was also really great. I really enjoyed the way you brought Fawkes into the story. Having Fawkes fly to where Severus was to heal his body so that he would be able to withstand whatever was to come really is a fabulous idea. Of course, you raise the question about what exactly Fawkes' role will be in what is to come by writing that he will have a crucial role. It really leaves a lot up to the imagination of the reader at the end of the story. What a really magnificent way to end. I thoroughly enjoyed this story and am glad I read it. I'm just sorry it took me so long to finally read and review some of your material. Now, it will be hard to keep me away!




Author's Response: And I\'m sorry it took me so long to say thanks for reviewing! I really appreciate your comments, though. So thank you!

 

Summary: Luna’s not feeling well, but she’s having a bit of trouble figuring out why. Could it be from doxy droppings? The dusk-blooming sun rose? Or is it something even more bizarre? This story was written for expecto_patronum_this for the SPEW Secret Summer Story Swap. Post-Hogwarts, fluffy Harry/Luna.

Categories: Harry/Other Character Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1063 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
09/03/06 Updated: 09/03/06


Reviewer: songbook99 Signed
Date: 05/28/07 Title: Chapter 1: My Cuddling Catnip Needs Some Attention (oneshot)

*smiles*

This is just such a cute little story. Only Luna could search through so many possible reasons for her illness before finally realizing what it might be. I suspected from the very beginning when I read that she kept visiting the bathroom.

Of course, the fact that Harry goes along with Luna is just as cute as her taking so long to figure it out. He's also an example of the type of attentive husband most women wish for. How many other men would worry so much about their wife and make them tea and broth and toast. That was wonderful of him.

On the other hand, I was slightly surprised by that he hadn't come to the realization that she might be pregnant. But, that might just be me projecting the common sense knowledge of that stuff which I always seem to think everyone has when that's not always the case.

Aside from that, the only thing that I found in this chapter that could use some fixing is the following:
“I don’t know, Harry. Maybe Crumble-Horned Snorkacks have this effect on women? It could be that… will you fetch my book on them so I can check?”
I'm pretty sure the 'b' in 'Crumble-Horned Snorkacks' should be a 'p' instead.

Other than that, this was a nice, touching little story. You've done a great job portraying the Harry/Luna pairing, which can be difficult to write. It just had me smiling the whole way through. :)

Author's Response: You know, I thought they were Crumple-horned too. But Nan insisted that it was Crumble, and when I checked she was right. I did write a very clueless Harry, and to be truthful I\'m not really happy with how I wrote him, but I sort of thought there would be a lot of stuff Harry just didn\'t know about from not having had a normal upbringing. Thank\'s for the review!

 

A Life Worth Living by lily_evans34
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 16]

Summary: On the eve of her wedding, Angelina Johnson is filled with looming regrets, before finally accepting her fate. But when old friends come back, Angelina is faced with a descision that could alter the course of her life. It's only then that she realises that she doesn't have time to be afraid, or live with regrets—after all, she had a life to live.

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3397 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
12/03/06 Updated: 12/11/06


Reviewer: songbook99 Signed
Date: 01/26/07 Title: Chapter 1: A Life Worth Living

Well, well, well, SPEW buddy mine, I do have to agree with your previous reviewers. You do wonderful job with all of the dialogue, especially that between Fred and Angelina. Their words to each other illuminate their own characters while also giving some insight into each other by their reactions to what the other is saying.

However, it's not just the dialogue that makes this a stunning story . The way you really focus in on Angelina's internal conflict, first about her wedding itself and then about her choices regarding how to live, is fantastic. This is probably one of the best stories I've read to really do a good character study of Angelina. Her true Gryffindor spirit finally seems to re-emerge from the fear in which she had been living when she decides to turn her back on that fear and take her life back. The kind of decision she made to call off her own wedding minutes before it was supposed to take place takes a lot of nerve, and only a truly brave person would be able to do it the way she did: face-to-face with the man she was supposed to marry. Clearly, by the end of this story, it is evident why Angelina was Sorted into Gryffindor.

The only thing that really bothered me about this story, though, was the beginning of Angelina's conversation with Alicia. Given that the two of them were both on the Quidditch team with Fred and George, it seems highly unlikely that either one would've been able to forget them, especially with how close the teammates seemed to be to each other while in school. Not only that, but Fred and George's exit from Hogwarts was probably the most memorable exit in recent Hogwarts history. So, it seems a little odd that Alicia would have a hard time coming up with Fred's name when talking to Angelina. He would be a hard person to forget.

Other than that, the only things which didn't quite fit with the rest of this well written story were the following:
"Who knows the when I’ll see you next!"
That is a line from Alicia to Angelina, and I think you should probably just take the 'the' out of it.
She heart was throbbing and her palms were sweating.
In that line, 'She' should probably be 'Her' instead.

All in all, though, this was a splendid story and I really enjoyed reading it. You have a good knack for exploring a character through their dialogue and their response to other characters' dialogue. I'm really glad I read this. Well done, buddy!.

Author's Response: *facepalm* How did my beta--*cough*--I miss those typos? *is off to fix* Anyway, thank you, Karin, for the amazing review! I agree--the Alicia part isn\'t the best. It\'s probably my least favorite part in this fic...I really was struggling with Alicia\'s chararacterization. Anyway, thanks again, and I\'m really glad that you liked it! I\'ll have my review to you within the week-sorry for taking so long! *hugs buddy* ♥

 

The Price of Perfection by HermioneDancr
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 19]

Summary: "Everything has a price, Miss Granger. Do not fool yourself."
Hermione has been trying all year to get even an E on her Defense Against the Dark Arts essays. During a chance meeting with Professor Snape late one night, Hermione discovers that even making good marks is not as clear-cut as it seems. Set during HBP.


Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 3249 Chapters: 2 Completed: Yes
Published:
04/02/07 Updated: 06/19/07


Reviewer: songbook99 Signed
Date: 05/28/07 Title: Chapter 1: The First Duty of a Teacher

The point of this story is completely marvelous. You do a wonderful job of pointing out how Hermione, though incredibly bright, can still miss some things which are incredibly important and pointed out to her by others.

Of course, the fact that it is Snape who points out the fact that book smarts are not always the answer to everything may explain part of the reason Hermione is not able to comprehend the message he is trying to tell her. There is the sense that had he been any one of the other professors telling her the same thing, he might have gotten through to her. But, since it was Snape, her perception of him kept her from really giving much credence to what he was telling her.

Both of the characters are written very well in your story and are true to their characters in the books. Snape is as snarky as ever and Hermione remains the know-it-all who focuses solely on learning to the exclusion of even the consideration of her own health.

The only real thing I noticed with your chapter was in the following:
There, finished. Well, better reread it, she thought.
The 'she thought' in that passage should not be in italics, unless Hermione was actually thinking those words as well.

Other than that tiny little spot, I think this story was a great little missing moment that explores the motivation of both characters as well as their dynamic with each other. Very enjoyable!

Author's Response: Thanks for catching the italics issue, Karin! I\'ll fix that next time I go through and edit (which is a pain, given coding issues, as you know). I\'m glad you enjoyed this story. It\'s great to read your review because you understand their conversation from a totally different angle than what was written, and yet I can\'t say that I didn\'t mean it that way, because it\'s certainly an implicit aspect of what I\'ve written. Thanks for the review!

 

Remember by Caliente
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: A Prewett/Weasley family one-shot set during and after the first war. Before she was a Weasley, Molly was a Prewett with two brothers... brothers she loved... brothers she lost... brothers she remembers...

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics, Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 1055 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/14/07 Updated: 05/26/07


Reviewer: songbook99 Signed
Date: 05/28/07 Title: Chapter 1: Remember

Wow. This was a great little story which explored Molly's connection to both of her brother's and just how their death affected her and her family. Along with that, you did a great job with characterizing both Gideon and Fabian through their own words and Molly's description of them.

I really enjoyed the way you gave both Gideon and Fabian their own parts in this story. Their words help really bring them into the story instead of making it just about Molly and her reaction to their loss. You do a good job of choosing just the right words to really illuminate their characters in such a short space. What they say really explains a lot about them and Molly's explanations of who they were.

What I also liked about the story is just how much Fabian and Gideon appear to be a pre-cursor to Fred and George. I can definitely see how the twins could've taken a lot of inspiration from their uncles, especially if they heard the stories about them and visited their grave every year.

My favorite part of the story, though, was the way you included other characters from the books. Molly's reaction to Fudge, calling it 'rubbish', is a great way of setting up her distaste for him early on, before he ever became the Minister was fabulous. It set up her lack of respect for him once he was given that position.

Though this story was really good, I think the bit about Amos seemed a little out of place. I liked having him there because it only fits since they are neighbors at the time of the Quidditch World Cup and probably were at the time of the deaths. But, I don't think someone who only liked a person because they felt superior to them would try to commiserate with that person at a funeral. Of course, that's probably me projecting my own feelings on others, but it just felt weird when I read that.

Other than that, the canon word Muggle needs to be capitalized.

Those two small things aside, I thoroughly enjoyed this story. You did a wonderful job with Molly and Arthur and the way she described her brothers. It was a completely touching story and the ending definitely warmed my heart. Very well done.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you for the review. It\'s... possibly the most thorough I\'ve received in this fandom and I really appreciate that. :) Now, let\'s see here... On the two criticisms-- Firstly, my beta and I realized in the story I wrote AFTER this one that Muggle is meant to be capitalized. (He hasn\'t read the HP books and I haven\'t read the last one since it first came out.) So, our bads. But I have fixed it now. Secondly, I don\'t really think Amos is like that. I mean, I think he\'s a bit pompous and probably does fancy himself better than Arthur in some ways, but I also think he respects Arthur and that is really just Molly\'s opinion of the man. I think that, by the time we see Amos in the HP books, she\'ll have warmed up to him considerably more and be far more willing to, like, feed him toast through the fire and things. I just think she\'s protective. Protective of her husband and family and anyone who might not be on the level is suspect. That kind of thing. On Gideon and Fabian-- I\'m so glad you enjoyed their parts. I wanted to give them distinct personalities from each other and within the HP cannon given. (Was Fabian part of the Order? Hard to say... but he died with his brother all the same.) I also really like the Fred and George parallels you drew. I honestly didn\'t plan that, but I like it. :) Other comments-- Yes! Fudge is a loser! :D No, but seriously, I think that was one of my favorite things. Just to rag on him a little and sort of show the seeds of why his turn as Minister was so... not respect. So glad you enjoyed the story and brothers and everything. Thanks again for this wonderful review. It really means a lot to me. Really.

 

Monarch Butterfly by BloodRayne
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 7]

Summary: Hermione mourns herself, along with those who fell...

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Violence

Word count: 843 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/15/07 Updated: 05/26/07


Reviewer: songbook99 Signed
Date: 05/28/07 Title: Chapter 1: The Butterfly

Oh my. Though this story was interesting, I also found it quite disturbing. The exploration of Hermione's reactions to the final battle is a good one, but it just felt a little over the top.

The format of the story was done well to both show how Hermione dealt with the fighting at the time and how she dealt with it after leaving. It does fit that she would freeze in the face of Ron's death by the Sectumsempra curse. The description you used was quite disturbing because of how graphic it was, but I think that was necessary to really show why Hermione would freeze up the way she did.

However, it is hard to picture Hermione remaining frozen as the fighting continues and more people fall. She has proven many times that she can deal with intense situations like that and recuperate quickly and start fighting. It also seemed a little weird for her to just Disapparate and leave all of her friends there alone with no help from her. At the very least, she would've gone to the Order or something to let them know what was going on so they could go to help.

The other rather disturbing part of the story was the last paragraph where Hermione destroys the butterfly. It just seems hard that she would turn to killing innocent creatures simply because she's watched the Death Eaters and Voldemort do the same to her friends. Even with a shattered soul as an explanation seems a little far-fetched for a person like Hermione, who started S.P.E.W. in an effort to aid house-elves.

Another thing that slightly confused me was whether or not the story was taking place right after Hermione left the battle scene or some time later. At first I thought it was quite a bit later, but then, after reading that she had Disapparated from the scene, I wasn't sure if it was right afterward.

Even with all of that, though, the story itself was very well written and interesting. All of the characters are mostly well written and act in character during the fight scenes. And, the overall message of the story, that war has a lasting and damaging effect on people, is definitely quite clear at the end of the story.

Author's Response: Thanks for the detailed review. I\'ve taken to heart what you\'ve said about Hermione and I\'ll put it to use in the future! And by the way, this was taking place years after the war. Everyone is dead and she\'s all alone now - that\'s why she killed the butterfly. She\'s full of spite and anger and sorrow.

 

Genesis by Wings of the Morning
Rated: Professors [Reviews - 7]

Summary: The last eight days of Regulus Black's life. Dark, psychological, featuring extensive wordplay and a vague creation-story allegory that may or may not grant redemption.
(Somewhere in the back of his mind, he whispers that his brother would be proud of him.)
Hourglass Nominee.

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 1595 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/15/07 Updated: 05/28/07


Reviewer: songbook99 Signed
Date: 05/28/07 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Where to find the words to express my reaction to your one-shot? This was really quite fabulous in a variety of ways, especially the way you use the story to explore Regulus' character and his motivations.

You do a great job with Regulus. You really seem to get into his mind to explain just why he did what he did and how he felt about it. Time and again, the narrative repeats the idea that his choice was a mistake - one he knew would eventually claim his life. The fact that he ends up facing that consequence head-on with thoughts of his brother urging him on is simply fantastic.

The only part I had a hard time with was the following:
He wants to curl up in his mother's lap.
What little we know of Walburga makes it hard to picture her at all maternal and allowing anyone to curl up on her lap. So, it makes it hard for me to think of Regulus wanting to curl up on the lap of someone who doesn't seem to have any a cuddly bone in her body. Of course, it could just be a figurative saying where he's just longing for the kind of connection a person finds when curling up in their mother's lap.

In the end, it's hard not to feel sorry for Regulus by the end of your one-shot. You do a wonderful job of making him a sympathetic character who makes one wrong decision which costs him his life. Well done!

 

To Make Pride by Charmed_S
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: Rubeus Hagrid was a wizard. A half-giant. And a decent man.




I tried, dad, I tried to make you proud





To Make Pride is a one-shot character exploration of Rubeus Hagrid, taking him through his best and worst memories, to shape the man he is today.





I did, dad. I made you proud

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1792 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
05/19/07 Updated: 05/26/07


Reviewer: songbook99 Signed
Date: 05/28/07 Title: Chapter 1: To Make Pride

This was a very original story about Hagrid. It's not very often that people write about him and you've done a great job with it. The moments in his life that you have chosen to focus on are great choices to contrast each other.

His father was such an important part of his life that it is only fitting that any good story about him make mention of his father. You do a good job of showing how his relationship with his father really shaped who he was and what he chose to do. Bringing the picture of Hagrid with his dad into the story was a great way of tying the story to what we know about Hagrid from the books. It really highlighted what a special relationship they had and just what his father's death would've meant to him.

The scene in the hospital where Hagrid's father dies is a very touching one. It is hard not to feel sorry for Hagrid at that point because the one person who really understood him has now left him behind. His father's last request that he make him proud is quite fitting and would definitely give him motivation to do what he has done to help the wizarding world fight against Voldemort.

The ending, though, was one of the best parts of the whole story. He actions would've made any father proud, but especially his dad because he knew what kind of things he had to face in his life. My only hope is that Hagrid doesn't end up shattered like the glass in the frame with the photo. Nicely done.

Author's Response: Thanks for the great review! I\'ve been wanting to write about Hagrid for a long time now; he\'s one of my favorite characters in HP. He\'s one of the bravest and noblest people we\'ve met so far in HP despite his horrific past -- his personality is sort of a dichotomy, a little like Lupin. Where he easily could have been bitter and joined the vicious Giants to take revenge. But he doesn\'t, and I think that shows amazing character strength. I\'m really glad you liked it - I tried my best to show what I thought would be Hagrid\'s motives and feelings regarding his past. Thanks!

 

Summary: A missing moment during HBP. Minerva has had to be strong for others in the few hectic hours after Dumbledore's death. But can she be strong enough for herself, after that?

Categories: Dark/Angsty Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 943 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/13/07 Updated: 06/19/07


Reviewer: songbook99 Signed
Date: 06/25/07 Title: Chapter 1: When the world stops spinning it falls into shards

McGonagall is one character who seems to get overlooked often in the stories. Everyone just seems to be so used to her presence that it is just expected that she will be there when needed as unflappable as ever. What you do in your story is to show that even the most dependable people have to find a way to release pent-up emotions.

You do a good job of leading into your story. It starts off by focusing on the everyday, mundane happenings, such as eating a meal, that seem so normal. However, you quickly disabuse the notion that this is just any other day with your vivid descriptions of the eerily still castle and violently disturbed hallway. The contrasts are telling and only make McGonagall's calm actions stand out that much more.

I really like the fact that you include another character in this and that that character is Madam Pomfrey. Using the school nurse as the person to stumble upon McGonagall in her apparent state of denial is great simply because of her prfofession. Poppy seems to immediately recognize what is going on with her colleague but doesn't really know how to help her.

The one thing that really bothered me, though, was how easily McGonagall seemed to come out of her state of denial just by touching the cold stone gargoyle at the entrance to the Headmaster's office. Perhaps it is just me, but I would've liked to see something more jarring to bring her back to the reality of the situation. Though cold stone can be rather jarring itself, it just seemed like it would take something more shocking to force McGonagall to face what had happened - something like an empty office.

That aside, though, this was a fantastic story. I love the way you wrapped it all up nicely by alluding to the beginning at the end when McGonagall smashed all the plates as she had contemplated before leaving her own office. That scene ties the whole story up quite nicely. Plus, it is a great image to leave your readers with - McGonagall releasing her anguish by smashing everything to bits so that she doesn't end up smashed to bits herself.

Author's Response: Thanks you very much for the wonderful review. I understand your concern with McGonagall, but I wanted it to be more of a realization that if she went in, everything would be changed, everything was already changed, and that in her state she couldn\'t face the empty office. Even in her denial she knew he was dead, she just had to bring that denial to the front. I hope I explained my intentions well enough in that rambling spiel. And as for McGonagall smashing plates, well I must confess it is something I have always wanted to do, so there is a certain pleasure in at least living it vicariously.

 

Strength by LadyAlesha
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: A seemingly simple rescue mission gets out of hand when Bill is faced with more than just your typical Death Eaters.







This is a submission to the June one-shot challenge by LadyAlesha of Hufflepuff House.

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Book 7 Disregarded

Word count: 1283 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/22/07 Updated: 06/22/07


Reviewer: songbook99 Signed
Date: 06/25/07 Title: Chapter 1: one-shot

While this story was about Bill's rescue of Mr. Ollivander, it was the tiny little memory of Bill's wedding night that really caught my attention. That little detail was what truly made this story special.

Of course, the beginning of of the story hinted that there might be something else included simply through the mention of Bill's 'inherent' magic. What could be more inherent or powerful than using the power of love? It has been made clear in the books that love is a most powerful weapon against the Dark Lord and his forces. In this story, you use that idea to perfection with Bill's conjuring up the love filled image from his wedding night to ward off the dementors.

This story was a pleasure to read, and with only two typos that I noticed, it was an easy read as well. The emotion in Bill's memory was very touching and added a bit of heart to an otherwise action-packed story. Nicely done. :)

Author's Response: Thank you, Karin. The flashback actually didn\'t come from my desire to include the power of love, it just worked out that way and before you put it so eloquently, I didn\'t think much about how this ties in with the power of love that we have heard so much of in canon. *hugs Karin*

 
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