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Nostalgia, Mar. 16th, 2016.


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Stories by mcclure_512 [9]
Favorite Authors [4]
Favorite Stories [2]
mcclure_512's Favorites [6]
Reviews by mcclure_512

A Harry Potter Epic by King of Serpants II

Summary: This is a poem, not exactly on target of the actuall Harry Potter theme, probably a little off on how these poems will go and all, but I like them.
Reviewer: mcclure_512 Signed
Date: 12/15/05 Title: Chapter 1: In the Eyes of Death

Very good, especially considering that it's your first published on MNFF, I believe. It started out okay, then just got better as I went along. I especially liked the last and 3rd last stanza's (not sure why though.) and it looks like you've shown lots of talent. Anyways, I encourage you to keep writing and improving!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I don't really do much poems, but I wanted to get down something quick, becuase I didn't wanted to be empty handed for a month! Lol. Thx for your comment!

Poison by Lillian Potter

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
The Second War is about to begin, and the poison weaves through the air... Please review!!! It doesn't take that long, and you have no idea how grateful I am!!! I hope you enjoy this poem, it was originally on Luisse Lowry's novel, Children of the Dust :-)
Reviewer: mcclure_512 Signed
Date: 12/20/05 Title: Chapter 1: Poison

Great. I think I've seen a poem like this, where you use lines 2 and 4 of the first verse as the 1st and 3rd of the next. Anyways, I like how you used this format, it helped to convey the feeling of the change from peace to war in the poem.

Author's Response: Yes, I used it to make all the confusing come out.... I am really happy you enjoyed it!!! And, most importantly of all, thank you for the review!!! :)


Reviewer: mcclure_512 Signed
Date: 12/23/05 Title: None

Excellent, great poem, it actually had me feeling sorry for Cho Chang. Which is quite the feat because I really don't like her very much. The poem flowed decently, and the ending I thought did a very good job wrapping up the poem. =)

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I don't really like her much myself but one day I was just wondering how I'd feel if I was in her position, having lost Cedric already and then to try to get together with Harry, the boy who witnessed Cedric's death but then having him turn his back on me too and in an instant I had a pen in my hand and a notepad in my lap and away I went. :D I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Draco's Roses by Foxy Wolf

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Hermione never imagined that she would develop feelings for Draco Malfoy. She longs for him even though she knows she shouldn’t. Her heart tells her to act on her feelings and she knows that they’ll be perfect together despite what other people might think. But what happens when things doesn’t turn out as you thought. Draco receives a bouquet and a note with Hermione’s deepest thoughts.
Reviewer: mcclure_512 Signed
Date: 01/30/06 Title: Chapter 1: Draco's Roses

[p]I though I would review and tell you how much I enjoyed this great poem of yours.[/p] [p]The way Hermione chose to arrange the roses is so sad, and has so much metaphorical value; I can just see tears in her eyes as she wrote this. The way she counted off every rose in the bouquet was also very effective and the way you referred to her story as,[i] a posy of thoughts and history[/i], helped the poem stay in the theme of flowers.[/p] [p]The rhyme scheme of the poem was done very well, the variation different types of rhyme kept the poem from getting monotonous, and by ending the poem bluntly with,[i] I was sadly mistaken[/i], it conveys Hermione’s realization that she won’t be with Draco.[/p] [p]I’m not much of a nitpicker, so I don’t really have much constructive criticism to offer, but I hope that what I lacked in suggestions I made up with praise.[/p]

Author's Response: Thank you for that wonderful review. I'm so happy I can't even think of anything to say :-)

Reviewer: mcclure_512 Signed
Date: 01/30/06 Title: Chapter 1: Draco's Roses

Whoops! It seems I have grown too accustomed to the forum's formatting style, *attempts to gather any shred of dignity*. But, without the fancy paragraph spaces and italics I think you can still decipher my review.

Author's Response: Yes, I got that ;-) Thank you.

The Bird of Prey by Vader

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: A short, rhyming verse.
Reviewer: mcclure_512 Signed
Date: 04/17/06 Title: Chapter 1: The Bird of Prey

Good stuff... good stuff, I'm not one to write long, indepth reviews, as I tend to get to the point. I remember reading one of your previous poems which had short rhyming verses. I really like the rhythm it creates having just short rhyming lines, and it makes me read it really fast for some reason (I had to go over it twice before figuring out what was happening). Anyways, thanks for a great read, and I hope to see more from you soon.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the review, mcclure. As always, I appreciate your feedback. It doesn\'t matter if it is an in depth review or not. Just taking a second to tell me what you thought is good enough for me. Thanks very much.

The 3 True Marauders by lovelessdove

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: A short poem about the marauders and what has become of them...
Reviewer: mcclure_512 Signed
Date: 04/18/06 Title: Chapter 1: Moony, Padfoot, Prongs and Wormtail?

I definately enjoyed this poem. The line about Peter wetting his pants made me laugh, and what more can I ask for? Just a suggestion that you might like to consider, is to group the poem into stanza's. I think it could read better that way, and it also helps to lay emphasis on rhyme in a poem like this. Anyways, thank you for the enjoyable read, and good luck with writing more poetry.

Author's Response: thank you so much for your review...it made my day! =)

The Raconteur by The Half Blood Prince

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Sirius has always wondered what fear really is like. Told in second person, this is a non-rhyming poem exploring Sirius's feelings of fear.

QSQ Poetry Award Winner.

Reviewer: mcclure_512 Signed
Date: 06/07/08 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

A great poem. This and other poems of yours, I remember, helped a great deal in resolving qualms I had had with free verse. Still writing I hope, away from fanfiction.

Unwanted Reflection by comewhatmay

Rated: 6th-7th Years •
Summary: Draco escapes from fighting of the war with what is left of him. He stumbles across a mirror and sees his disheveled appearance, and is disgusted with it.

Need's reviews PLEASE! please! :(

Reviewer: mcclure_512 Signed
Date: 07/13/06 Title: Chapter 1: Mirror

I am one of few words. I liked this poem, which I think is saying quite a bit. I find poetry is easy to write just 'okay' but it's very hard to write an excellent poem. I'll say that this poem is in the latter category.

You describe Malfoy's image in the mirror with such clarity I can picture him perfectly. You chose your words very carefully I can see, I can't really find a spot where a more descriptive or more powerful word could be used. Good poem, good read. Thanks.

Author's Response: Wow you are the best reviewer in the world! I kind of had trouble writing this one because I didn\'t know how I wanted the description. I am glad to hear that this was a good poem! Thanks again! :)

Years Forgotten by Foxy Wolf

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: It’s a beautiful autumn day. Susan Bones and Eloise Midgen are walking by a remote mountain lake almost forgotten in time. They talk of lost dreams and infinite futures. Despite the brisk wind they decide to buy some ice cream in a small stall. The two girls sits down in the wet grass and soon they’re lying on there backs laughing and looking at clouds. Their fascinations for the celestial bodies are almost childlike and soon their thoughts are voiced over the mountains.
Reviewer: mcclure_512 Signed
Date: 09/15/06 Title: Chapter 1: Years Forgotten

I've always been a fan of your poetry Foxy. I've been away awhile from fanfiction, and I'm glad your still kicking around here, writing more poems for me to enjoy. =)

Author's Response: *grins*

Thanks. It\'s always nice to have loyal fans ;-)

Direst Cruelty by just_the_contrary

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Bellatrix talks to herself and to the Dark Lord.

My chest shrinks; I burn.
How can I attempt to crush myself
If I myself am crushing me?

Reviewer: mcclure_512 Signed
Date: 11/03/06 Title: Chapter 1: Direst Cruelty

The way the poem is written it gives me the slightly unbalanced feeling of Bellatrix's mind. The use of exclamation marks and hyphens excentuate her craziness. I particularily enjoyed the image of the hate being poured into her. She's quite the evil one, isn't she?

Author's Response: Ooh, thank you for reviewing! Yes, Bellatrix is definitely evil, I think she is totally and completely evil and that she is willing to give herself up to it. I\'m glad you liked it! Congratulations on being a runner-up in the QsQ awards - I read A Ghost Story and it was very good. Thank you!

Keep Your Glory by coppercurls

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Harry throws in the towel after defeating Voldemort and tries to escape from everything that has happened.
Reviewer: mcclure_512 Signed
Date: 12/04/06 Title: Chapter 1: Keep Your Glory

I definately enjoyed this poem, coppercurls. It seems so un-HPish because of the vivid description and imagery you've put into it, something that, I dare say, the HP series lacks a bit. You've filled my mind to the brim with pictures of Harry's own comfortable wasteland, the streets. T.S. Eliot would be proud. =D

Author's Response: Thank you very much for both the kind words and the review. I hope it doesn\'t sound too HP-ish since I have a weakness for descriptive passages- an image is worth a thousand words. Thanks again!

The Icicle Melts. by Magical Maeve

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: When did it go wrong for Tom Riddle?

Thanks to the Cranberries for the title.
Reviewer: mcclure_512 Signed
Date: 12/08/06 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

It's good to see our friendly poetry moderator is in the game again. There seems to be something about winter that inspires you to write poetry. Maybe the winters are nicer in England than they are in Canada? I really enjoyed this poem, especially the last two lines, very clever methinks.

Author's Response: I don\'t know what it is about winter! LOL. Maybe I\'ll have to write some spring poems full of sap rising and flowers budding. *giggles* Thank you for the review!

Rhapsody In One's Own Past by just_the_contrary

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Snape's encounter with his pensieve brings more than just memories.

A parallel to T.S. Eliot's Rhapsody on a Windy Night by just_the_contrary of Ravenclaw House. An entry in the December Poetry Challenge.
Reviewer: mcclure_512 Signed
Date: 12/18/06 Title: Chapter 1: The Last Flick of the Wand

Excellent! Imagery was spot on for me and I could feel the poem the whole way through, if that makes any sense. T.S. Eliot's poems are often long and... weird and you did a great job capturing his style. Go Ravenclaw, hope to see your poem on the podium. =)

Author's Response: Eee! Thank you so much, I\'m so happy you like it. I also hope to see your entry on the podium! :)

Humanity i love you by the_evenstar

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Before his death, Sirius ponders the myriad injustices in life - the prejudice that sends him to Azkaban, the ignorance that keeps him there, and the foolishness that is sending the entire wizarding world into civil war.

This is the*evenstar of Ravenclaw House writing for the December Poetry Challenge. My poem is a parallel to e.e.cummings' poem "Humanity i love you."
Reviewer: mcclure_512 Signed
Date: 12/18/06 Title: Chapter 1: Humanity i love you

Amazing. I didn't expect to like this a whole lot, (cynical me) but I most definately enjoyed it after reading it. You've managed to write it while being exceptionally concise and the thoughts flow easily together in a stream of concience kind of way. You've made a fan out of me. This is obviously not your first brush with poetry and I'd love to see more from you on this site. =)

Author's Response: Aww, thank you so much! I am absolutely thrilled that you liked it! I *have* written poetry before, but never anything HP-related, so this was quite a new experience, but I am so very glad that you enjoyed reading! :D

Portholes of Immortality by coppercurls

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Regulus Black reflections on his family, particularly Sirius, as he prepares to leave the Death Eaters.
Reviewer: mcclure_512 Signed
Date: 02/07/07 Title: Chapter 1: Portholes of Immortality

Does the world spin / by the force of their fall?

This line swept me off my feet. It's amazingly concise, metaphorical and uncliched. That is what great poetry is all about.

Author's Response: Thank you very much. I really like a lot of the imagry and ideas you use in your poems so that means a lot to me!

Look At Me by 1000timesingoldenink

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: But give them me, the mouth, the eyes, the brow!
Let them once more absorb me! One look now
Will lap me round for ever, not to pass
Out of its lights, though darkness lie beyond:
Hold me but safe again within the bond
Of one immortal look! All woe that was,
Forgotten, and all terror that may be,
Defied, -no past is mine, no future: look at me!

--Robert Browning

His guide in life, his guardian in death: the silver doe.
Reviewer: mcclure_512 Signed
Date: 01/08/14 Title: Chapter 1: the green eyes found the black

Sonnets sonnets sonnets sonnets! Form and meter good, variation in S1L4 works, strong closing stanza in terms of content, I like to make the meter as strong (mix of very light and overly stressed words) as possible in the close for emphasis as a quick tip so that it reads nice and clean. The use of battle ravaged and the vanquisher remind me of something I've read, must have been Browning!

Red Squirrel/Sun Rises by hestiajones

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • Past Featured Story
+ He wouldn't celebrate his birthday, but his son had other ideas. +

This was written for The Random Song Title Challenge at Poetry Anyone (at the boards - check it out!). It got first place :)

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter, and the title of this fic is taken from Fleet Foxes' Red Squirrel/Sun Rises - they have nothing else in common.
Reviewer: mcclure_512 Signed
Date: 01/08/14 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I like it :). Very melancholy - reads a bit prosy in spots but it works in this format.

Author's Response: Thank you! I'm sorry for such a late response :/ And thank you for the feedback! :)