Just a reader, not a writer...
Ron and Luna's wedding? Hmmm... Okay, you have me hooked. A good start, though it shares the same proofreading errors that seem to plague most fanfics ("somewhat" is one word, not two, lack of subject-verb agreement, etc.). Work on the writing, but your ideas sound good. Off to the next chapter!
You're really good at building "what happens next?" interest. However, a little more backstory would help to make these first two chapters hang together. For example, how on earth did Harry and Hermione go from near-inseparability in school to virtually no contact now? And why on earth hasn't Harry opened that package after three years? This may all become clear in later chapters, but for now, it doesn't quite ring true. Still, kudos to you for writing at all -it takes guts and creativity to write for a fan base like this. :)
Okay, pretty interesting. So Viktor's back on the scene, eh? Interested to see what you'll do with that. BTW, it's "announced" not "enounced".
Have you seen "When Harry Met Sally"? You're probably too young, but this scene has a lot in common with the one where Sally cries on Harry's shoulder after her ex gets engaged. Still lots of proofreading mistakes ("a sleep" instead of "asleep"), but your dialogue captures Harry and Hermione's voices well. Since dialogue is always harder to write than narration, that's a pretty good accomplishment.
A. Harry would never turn down a request for help from Hermione. B. Hermione would never (at least not as of book 6) say someone "didn't have the balls" to do something. This chapter strains the limits of credulity. The ring is a nice touch, though, and helps make sense of your mention of French in the first chapter.
Nice ensemble piece - you capture the feel of these four old friends hanging out together quite well. I especially like how you handled Ron: Grown up, but still a bit spastic. :) I didn't really buy Harry's declaration of love, though - it's just too abrupt, and you don't give us enough insight into how he arrives at this conclusion. All in all, though, a good chapter.
Very nice! Hermione falls for the kind of trap that usually gets Harry - a very clever twist. And who among us ever really trusted Viktor Krum? Well done!
It feels like there's a chapter missing here that explains how Harry wound up at the graveyard. And Voldemort spends way too much time explaining himself. This slows down the really strong lead-up you had coming into this chapter.
Ouch, just when I think the movies aren't ruining my memories of the books... Thanks for setting me straight. I introduced my 7-year-old daughter to this story yesterday and now she's tearing through it. We really love the story; thanks for writing it.
Author's Response: Thank you for reading it. I'm glad you are both enjoying it.
I'm thoroughly enjoying this story, but just one little quibble: Wasn't James a seeker, not a chaser? I'm at work and don't have my books with me, so I can't check, but wasn't that the whole point of him playing with the Snitch in OOTP?
Author's Response: According to the films he was a seeker, but according to a JKR interview he was a chaser. The books don't state anything on the matter so I'm choosing JKR's word over the films here.
And I'm glad you are enjoying the story.
EWWWWW!!!!!! I can't believe I'm reading this. You're a really good writer; it's just that the thought of Snape and Hermione makes me ill. Ah well - on with the story.
Author's Response: I discovered fan fiction here on MNFF, just about a year ago. When I saw the pairing of SS/HG I was horrified. I won\'t even tell you how I felt about the slash. But I read Ancientgirl\'s stories, and I was hooked. So, I can appreciate how you feel about it. As for me, I\'ve scarcely come up for breath since I began, about a year ago ...
Okay, this is all very good right up to the Journey song. Maybe it's because I grew up hearing it relentlessly overplayed, but it takes this story from weirdly Interesting AU to cheesy. I mean, I'm a total creampuff and I can't hear that song without sneering; Snape would never in a million years put up with it. Otherwise, great chapter. Who knew Hermione was such a randy little thing? :)
Author's Response: Awww, you are severe on my muscial taste! It\'s okay, I can survive it. I\'m still chuckling. Please remember it was my first fan fiction attempt. I\'m (slightly) better now ;)
Excellent. Can't think of how Ron and Harry will react when they get those invitations, but excellent.
Author's Response: LOL! Isn\'t that the truth? Thank you for the review!
_So_ much better than the average fanfic! Even though it's categorized as a romance fic there's non-romantic substance to it that's believable. Better yet, Harry doesn't burst into tears (which everyone else seems to have him do). Well done you!
Author's Response: Harry's tough, it takes a lot to make him cry.
Again, excellent! Great idea putting Kingsley in Hermione's group, since he's the one most likely to make it onto the Muggle news. So much for the idea that he'll be the new OotP leader, though...
Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Thanks! I like Kingsley Shacklebolt but... it was just another way of shaking up poor Harry.
I agree with your first reviewer - subtle, and nicely done, if a little hard to envision post-HBP. Watch your editing - a few syntactical errors slipped through. Keep up the good work!
Author's Response: Yeah, sorry, I forgot to include that this story was written as though HBP never happened (because that's how it is in my mind :-P). Thank you so much for your review!
Sweet, in a low-key sort of way. I'm not sure Ron would behave this calmly and sensitively, but we can always hope, can't we? In any case, I liked the framing device of the swing and the Engorgement Charm was a clever touch. Keep writing!
Author's Response: Lol, we sure can hope! Thanks for reading!
I'm really liking this story. The part about Molly fretting at the Burrow was especially poignant. Only one minor quibble, though: Harry and Ginny making love in the Gryffindor common room? Puh-leeze... Even if it is Christmas Break, that's a little public for a couple that's trying to keep their relationship under wraps. The Room of Requirement would almost certainly have appeared for them if they were that desperate. :) Otherwise, bravo!
Author's Response: Of course it would have appeared, but no one else is there, and Harry isn\'t really being as discreet as he thinks he is now is he? Anyway, thanks for the great review. You can find chapter four if you follow the link in my profile to my LJ.
Please please please use paragraphs! And don't keep switching points of view/using unclear pronoun references. This is a potentially interesting story that's being undermined by your writing style.
Author's Response: Eeek. Harsh. Umm, you are right, actually. Sorry about that. This was my first fanfic ever and I didn\'t have a beta for the first couple of chapters; therefore, they suck. I hope you read the rest of the story, tho. It gets better, I promise! And - just for you - I will go back and edit the first couple of chapters, now that I am better at writing. Manda*
You won't kill any of the Trio? Okay, then, you must not be part of the "totally evil Snape"school, because why would he just stun these two instead of AKing them if he were evil? Hmmm... Something to think about. Anyway, I wholeheartedly agree with the reviewer who complimented your ability to write an authentic-feeling setting. I loved the cobblestone street, and I also loved the fact that the witches' laughter made Hermione miss her own close friends. The parallel photos were inspired as well. All very telling (and tender) details. Well done!
Author's Response: Thanks much...also, as I queried below, who says Snape is evil?? And remember, I write based on canon - there\'s nothing equivocal in HBP that says Snape was doing anything except exactly what Albus Dumbledore told him to....more soon...stay tuned!