Good, as far as it goes. I felt that it needed to go a bit farther, maybe, and I'm not sure about Rita's motives. If she just wanst to get information from him, why does she choose to sleep with him? And if that's what she giving in exchange for the info, why did she threaten him?
Author's Response: Rita wanted information about Rookwood who was the person in the trials Harry saw in the Pensieve, that Ludo was accused of handling messages for. Basically she would have revealed his penchant for uniforms and Muggles in The Prophet if he didn;t co-operate. She slept with him because she wanted sex, and found the arragement mutually beneficial.
You're right though, this didn't explore deeply and could have said a lot more, but I was scrabbling for a deadline and finished it with around 5 minutes to spare before the comp closed. No excuse, really, and I'd delete, but the story and concept make me laugh. Thanks for the review. I have written far far far better stories, so I'd hate you to think this is typical. ~Carole~
I liked this story and the characters. I felt that I got to know them by the end. One thing, though-- the Charms teacher seems to have changed from female to male. Good story, anyway. I look forward to reading more of yours.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the comment!
This story shows us what I think is an accurate reflection of Snape's deepest longings. Of course the Lily in the mirror looks the way he dreamed she would, and says the things he dreamed she would say. I wasn't sure why she asks him "Don't you love me?" the second time, as if she expected him to do something, like step into the mirror with her. He could have easily wasted away gazing at Lily, but in the end he was very harshly realistic about the truth of her feelings. That's what kept him from going mad, but it also shows why he is still so bitter. Well done.
This is a good beginning to what promises to be a good romance fic. It seems plausible that Tonka would end up at St. Mungo's with the memory of Bellatrix' cruel smile. You described her shock and anguish very well. It also seemed so natural for her to cry in Remus' arms and for him to comfort her. I look forward to reading more and seeing how their relationship developed.
Okay, so this must be Armando Dippet, I presume? And Ron's great aunt Muriel, maybe? I liked the story and the dialogue, but it seemed to end so soon and somewhat abruptly. With a loud crack? Like a house elf disapparating? I was left wishing there were a bit more, but if you were writing for a competition, you might have had a length limit to stick to.
Great observations. I enjoyed this story even more than Four Christmases. It was good to see Minerva get intrigued and obsessed with Snape. Appropriate, too, that as much as she watched him and thought about him, even as she had a physical relationship with him, she never really got to know him. I like your descriptions and the way that Minerva thinks, and what you reveal about her. Very good.
Author's Response: Sorry to be so late in responding. I don't seem to be getting my notifications consistently. Thanks for reading this strange little tale. I wanted to do a "darker" Minerva than we normally see--glad you enjoyed it!
Curious. I also wonder how James became Lily's brother.
Author's Response: Well, this is a next-gen story, so James is Lily's sister. :) Thanks for reading!
Good, scary adventure. I'm still confused about why James is Lily's older brother in this story, but I liked the story otherwise. Good luck with the challenge.
Author's Response: Thank you! :)
Ah, I get it now: This is Harry's daughter Lily and son James. Maybe I would have realized it sooner if had known who Scorpius was. I wonder why Harry would give his cloak to James already?
Author's Response: Well, James is in his fifth year, so I assume that Harry would have given James the cloak by then because Harry had it when he was in school. :)
Well, that was quite interesting and enjoyable. Though I found it curious that Minerva would be teaching Snape occlumency after Voldemort was gone, I accepted it and the memories that were shown. She understood something about him, without knowing the whole story, and tried to make him see that he was in denial. It didn't work. He remained in denial because that's what he preferred, and I think it was correct and true to his character. Well done.
Author's Response: Sorry to be so late in responding--I don't seem to be getting notifications reliably. Thanks for the kind words--Snape is a fascinating fellow to explore. I figured Albus knew Voldemort would return, so he asked Minerva to teach Snape (who would, of course, be an excellent student.) Thanks for reading!
I enjoyed this story. I liked how it was told in the first person, Sanguini telling us what he remembered and how he felt. There weren't that many Twilight references, I didn't think. But it made me feel that I understood this character and sympathized with him.
When Hermione is asked to update the National Dictionary of Wizarding Biography, she discovers some surprising things about her favourite professor. An angsty, nerdy time-travel romance. [Minerva/Severus; Hermione/Ron]
Warning/s: Abuse of theoretical physics; wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey stuff; background infidelity; mention of child death.
Good story. I've never thought of Severus and Minerva together, but in this story it worked. I thought he would ask her to let him use the Time-Turner to go back and save Lily. Too bad he killed himself, it would have been nice for Hermione to see him again.
Author's Response: I think of them together all the time, LOL. I'm glad you think it worked here. Thanks for reading.
Good look at Hermione and Minerva at different points in their lives. Hermione must look great at 62 to flirt with much younger men. Makes sense about the Time-Turner-- Minerva must have given it to Hermione without any Ministry approval.
Author's Response: Thanks. I always suspected that witches and wizards age somewhat differently than Muggles (thinking of Dumbledore, Bathilda Bagshot and Griselda Marchbanks and their preternaturally long lives), so I suspect a 62-year-old Hermione might look younger than one expects. And of course, there are young men who are anxious the reap the benefits of having an older woman as a paramour, LOL! Yes, the Time-Turner business has always bugged me, so this was my way of rectifying the situation. Thanks for reading.
Very nice. I really liked it. Good atmosphere, and accurate portrayal of Ron and Hermione.
Author's Response: Thanks. I'm glad you liked it, and I appreciate you taking the time to review.
This could almost be a lost chapter of OotP. Very true to the characters, including their dialogue. Well done.
Author's Response: Sorry it took me so long to respond to this. Thank you for reading this fic and taking the time to review! Every reader and comment means so much to me.
Good one. So you found a way of explaining a lot of little things that you thought didn't make much sense otherwise. But it's hard to consider anyone who puts on a cursed ring or gets attacked by a snake lucky. Of course, in the case of the ring, it was the horcrux talking. Sure, it could've happened that way. The only thing I completely disagreed with was Snape's final thoughts. He wasn't thinking about Harry being the chosen one or anything like that. He just wanted to look into Lily's eyes as he was dying.
Aww, poor Harry. That was a very good story. I could easily imagine a scene just like that in Sorcerer's Stone.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and commenting, Linda. Nice to hear from you again. I'm glad you thought it was good. I guess it's not hard to write about Harry's life with the Dursleys before his eleventh birthday--there's only one way that any story could turn out. Vicki
I have been enjoying this story so far, but I'm a bit confused now. If the diary was her mother's, how come Lorelei acts like she had the fling with a selkie? Maybe I missed something. I'll go back and look at some earlier chapters again. Thanks for updating so quickly. That should mean that I wouldn't forget stuff in the story, but it looks like I did, anyway.
Author's Response: Thank you for enjoying the story and for bringing that up! I'll go back and edit to make it plain that the boy was a selkie from her father's clan, but he wasn't Tynan before she explained the memory. I've got all this head canon that sometimes actually needs to be on the page instead of untold back story. ;)
Nice story. I liked seeing that there might be more to Dudley than we had imagined. In the books we only see him from Harry's point of view. It was good that both Dudley and Cho seemed open to the idea of liking each other.