Ummmm.... I think I should point out at this stage in response to Haegenott that I'm not who you seem to think I am and that the site you're plugging has nowt to do with me. I'm British and have nothing to do with organising anything or writing articles, let alone in the Phillippines! I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt and assuming you're not just site plugging (considering you only joined today, I'm strongly suspicious...) but I felt I should point out, you've made a mistake. If someone you know is claiming this story is theres, they're lying. Sorry...

Okay, I've taken a look as you asked (sorry it took so long!) and since you asked for constructive criticism, I'm going to do my best to give it. So: The OCs such as Aime and Remus' parents are well drawn and much of the description is effectively done. There are parts of your story I felt were a bit out of character, but that's my personal opinion and not really related to your writing style. I would say there are two things you need to look at in particular if you want to improve your writing - a slightly more solid story plan overall (the story did seem to leap from point to point rather than having an overall arc) and more use of punctuation, especially commas, to break up sentances. Some of the sentances were a little abrupt in places and would flow better for the reader (ironically) if they were broken up. There. I really hope that helps and that you aren't offended by anything I said - you did ask me to take a look and I'm trying to give constructive advice that I hope will help. Good luck with your next writing project and thanks for reading Oblivious! :)

Author's Response: Thank you so much for being so honest. I truly appreciate it. I'll take all that you have said into consideration and do my best when I eventually write another 'serious' fic. (There is one in the works but it's bane of my life at the moment)