hey, i'm sara, and i just adore harry potter! all seven books in the series are exquisite, and the fanfiction is generally pretty awesome too! some other favorite books of mine include: lord of the rings, pride and prejudice, wheel of time series, any books by shannon hale, terry pratchett, gerald morris or l.a. meyer, and many others that i'm inconveniently forgetting...
so, now that you know a little bit more about moi, i'll end by saying this little tid-bit: i love to read, i love to write and i love reviews. the three "r's". so how about i write, and you guys read and review, yes? great! oh, but please don't get angry at the three-month long gaps in between updates...
congrats on winning the challenge! this story was puzzling, well-written, flowing, clever, and great! i liked it a lot, and like the fact that it shows snape as he is, yet in an almost neutral light. great job!
wow. this is excellent. i'm not a huge founder-fic fan, but this was very good. i loved how you didn't overplay their qualities (e.g, make godric unbelievably brave and rowena so studious that she only likes to read and be antisocial) but they were definitely there. i think that it's good also how you didn't automatically make gryffindor the good guy and slytherin that bad guy. if anything, it was portrayed as the opposite.
the plot was wonderful--although this was only a four-piece fanfic, and there wasn't much of a really intense or exciting plot, the story was important, and you told it wonderfully. it was very believable, and i love your writing style. i could honestly believe that j.k.r. herself had written this (or maybe some other author, since you don't really have jo's writing style, but still--it could be a book!)
i didn't catch any grammar mistakes or spelling errors, and since i loved your story, then i guess it deserves a 10000000/10 (even though you can't rate the stories anymore :) great job, i can't wait to read other stories of yours!
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the compliments to my writing style especially, and also to my characterizations. When I set out to write this piece, it was with the deliberate attempt of avoiding the paper-thin cliches. I am glad to see that you think I have done a good job.
oh, i know i just reviewed, but i was looking at eponine's review and how they said that everything you write has significance; i totally agree, and it makes me think of margaret atwood. i don't know if you are familiar with her writing, but my english class just read the handmaid's tale and i fould that every single sentence in that book was infused with meaning--i feel the same way about your story! again, excellent job on your first fic!
Author's Response: Maragaret Atwood.... now that is quite a compliment! Oh, and don\'t ever worry about reviewing a second time. ;-) Thank you again!
wow. this is a very powerful story. i like the depth you give peter's character, and how everything is slightly tainted by his point of view. also, how you really emphasize his lack of self-esteem, and show how that shapes his decisions. this was really well-written and tragic, and i liked it a lot! great job.
ooh, good story! keep it up (sry that my review's short, but i'm really tired. just wanted to let you know i like this story.) good job ;D
Author's Response: Thank you! Short reviews are fine! I just like to know people are reading and enjoying it. Thanks a bunch!
very good! percy was quite well done. you kept him in character, yet managed to make him...how shall i say it...normal? so great job with him. and penelope was also good--since we didn't really know anthing about her, i'd say you did a good job making her up. that was well-written, short and sweet and fluffy--great job!
wow. first review? why? this story deserves some reviews! anyway, i liked this one-shot pretty well. i like the idea of it, i guess i should say--it was a bit to short and abrupt for my liking. it seems like you introduced amelia, gave us the setting, and then enter snape, they argue a bit, and she dies. i think you could flesh it out just a bit.
as to characterization, i think you did well on some parts and not-so-well on other parts. for example, with snape, i really like what you did at the very end. "snape," squeaked the annoying voice of wormtail. one of the inescapable marauders." i like it because it shows snape's annoyance and the inescapable marauders part is great--that's a great way to describe the marauders for snape. also, when snape realizes that peter doesn't want to tell him something, and he jumps up and snarls "what happened?" that shows a key part in snape's character; his temper. this part, however, i;m not so sure about: “I don’t care what happens to me,” he snapped. “I care what happens to you. That night may have been meaningless to you, but it wasn’t to me. I have watched you for years. I have always wanted that night to be a reality and then you finally gave me what I wanted. You know me, Amelia. You know how hard it is for me to admit to something like that.” i agree that it is necessary for him to admit this, or there would be no story, but don't just tell us that it's hard for him to admit it; show us. how does he act, how does he say this, etc. the same goes for amelia. when she says She did know how hard it was for him. Therefore, she decided that she owed him the truth. “That night wasn’t meaningless to me,” she told him, taking his hand. “You’re not meaningless to me. I care what happens to you. i think that's a little too...two dimensional. you don't make her uncomfortable as sshe says it, though it would seem that if she really had used the excuse of alcohol for the only reason she liked snape, then it's a little hard to believe that she would just admit her love to him then and there, without any discomfort. similarily, i would think that snape would be happy that she really did like him for who he was, yet any joyful feelings we don't see him express. so a little more detail and characterization there would be wonderful.
something i really like about this story is some of the little details you put in that make it so much better. for example, i really like how you refer to harry's trial; it gives us an idea of amelia's character. also how you acknowledge amelia's closeness to susan in mentioning that they talk, and that amelia is nervous about her. here are some other good things that caught my eye:
Sipping her drink, she tried to think of a rational way to approach the situation. She knew the Ministry was working everyone to exhaustion; but in the end, they weren’t really doing anything. They were only trying to appease the public. They didn’t have a clue how to go about stopping Voldemort, and sadly, neither did she. i like this because it really does capture the spirit of the ministry!
He was in no mood to celebrate some pointless feat. He wanted to be left alone with his misery. Working on both sides of the war was becoming tiring and in that moment, he simply wanted to be left alone. this is so very snape-ish that it's simply delectable! great job there.
He saw her at Order meetings, but she acted as though their conversation had never taken place. Stubbornly, she continued to behave as though nothing was amiss and he could not stop her. that is good because it really shows very well amelia's stubborn nature.
my last comment is this: i love the ending. it is so abrupt, i really like how you don't explain snape's feelings or anything--you leave us room to wonder, and it's really just a good ending place. almost as if with the end of amelia's life, the end of the story, comes the end of snape's even minute happiness.
good job on this! it could use some work, but overall, very enjoyable. 8/10 ^__^
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. You made some good points and gave me something to think about. So thank you. I\'m also glad that you enjoyed the fic overall. :D
i really like this so far! it seems like a believable story line, not too cliche, and i like how you gave us the whole first chapter to get to know carmen, who seems like a very real, nice character. i'm looking forward to more!
Author's Response: Thank you! :)
oh. my. good lord above! how on earth could you just end the chapter like that! this was insane--very well written but altogether too short! i enjoyed it very much nonetheless though, keep writing!
wow, you're updating super fast, and with good chapters too! they're exciting and fast-paced, as well as very well-written. great job!
good job. i sort of liked "smells like sirius black "more, but this was a good sequel, it tied everything up very neatly. and the updates were fast! i liked it a lot, thanks for writing it!
oh my goodness, this was amazing! i love the story idea, and the characterization of emmeline was perfect. you described her feelings so well, i could really relate to her and understand her. everything was realistic and loverly and very descriptive and well-written. oh, and i love regulus. he's just adorable, of course! and i like the fact that he and sirius don't seem to totally hate each other! great job with this story, i really liked it!
oh wow. this was really good! i loved petunia's character, it's so realistic, and the way they both treat harry is sad and very like the book. great job, i really liked this!
wow, this was wonderful! the blunt storytelling was really effective at setting a tone and a mood, and poor severus' life and hopefulness and then heartbreak were so sad! it made me want to cry, really. this was really well written, very emotional, great job!
Author's Response: Thanks! I\'m so glad you liked it, really!
i like the direction this story is going. it seems funny and interesting, and a unique way to tell the falling-in-love-with-letters story for lily and james. i like the characters too, so overall good job! i'd ask you to update soon, but what with the queue being unofficially closed...slow updates will be understood!
lovely, lovely piece of writing! this is a wonderfully unexpected story, and i really enjoyed the irish touch, with the accents and tidbit of mythology and gaelic. the writing was wonderful as well, very flowing and descriptive, and the dialogue was excellent. overall very well written and a well thought-out story. great job, i really liked it! and i'm very sorry about your grandfather, but i'm glad you're writing again! keep it up.
Author's Response: Thank you! I have to admit, I enjoy the research part of any story :-)
wow, this is really good! the characterization of draco and his gradual change is excellent, and hermione's situation is so heartbreaking and sympathy inducing. you tell the story very well, it's quite smooth, and the plot is interesting. i'm looking forward to an update!
Author's Response: Thanks! I have about 10 more chapters finished on this story but I forget to post them. Heh. Keep reviewing and remind me...
very lovely! quite romantic and funny and i did like the gilmore girls allusion! overall, great job.