Penname: Fantasium [Contact]
Real name: Anna
Member Since: 11/09/04
Website: http://fantasium.livejournal.com/profile
Beta-reader: No
Status: Member
Bio:

Well, I'm Anna.

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Reviews by Fantasium
 

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Rated: [Reviews - ]

Summary:

Categories: Orphan Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 0 Chapters: 0 Completed: No
Published:
12/31/69 Updated: 12/31/69


Reviewer: Fantasium Signed
Date: 01/22/05 Title: None

Sweet, to say the least. Not quite up to your normal standard of action though. Uuuh, I didn't like the part about Harry wanting to hand over Captain to Ron, it felt like he thought he wouldn't be there next year - but since you promised a sequel I hope that's not the case. I have come to like your Harry, but I can't really understand the way he acts with Ginny... He obviously loves her, but I'm not sure why? Right, better stop there and get back to my perticularly nice cup of tea, and keep waiting for The Chapter with the Much Talked About Cliffhanger. A 10 for this, as always. :) /Fantasium

Author's Response: He's handing over the captainship because he wants to give Ron a shot at the glory. NOt to mention Ron lives and breathes Quidditch.

 
Reviewer: Fantasium Signed
Date: 01/18/05 Title: None

Right... now I have finally managed to read up with your chapters, so I'm going to take a minute and review. When I started reading your story, I was a bit disturbed by the out of caracther-ness of Harry. But the story was too good to not continue, and "your Harry" sort of grew on me. He is a little too perfect with all his abilities, but the way he achieved them is interesting and if I'm thinking about all the difficulties of his life, it all seems more realistic. We all remeber how Harry changed in book 5, and it feels pretty clear that he will continue changing in the upcoming book - maybe into someone resembling your view of him. Enough blabbering now, I enjoy your story very much and there's no way I will abandon it. Keep the excellent chapters coming, I'll be checking every day! :) /Fantasium

Author's Response: I'm glad that you can see my point of view. A lot of people have difficulty with it.

 
Reviewer: Fantasium Signed
Date: 01/20/05 Title: None

New routine of Fantasium: 1 - try through the morning to catch a few free minutes to sneak off to the pc, of course to look for update on "Year of Discovery". 2 - read the new chapter (which is amazingly enough ALWAYS there, thanks!) very quickly before someone catches me. 3 - continue working and going over the latest chapter in my mind, pondering over the plot, admiring your story-telling skills, and so on. 4 - Re-read the story in the evening, very slowly whilst drinking very English tea and eating treacle toffee, enjoying every sentence. 5 - try to think up and post a review worthy of what I've read. So here we are. :) Well done, as ever - that's all I'll be saying. *raising my teacup for you* /Fantasium

Author's Response: Damn. that's an interesting schedule to say the least. I'm glad that you continue to enjoy the story.

 
Reviewer: Fantasium Signed
Date: 01/21/05 Title: None

*sipping tea* Hmm... Alright... I don't know if I'm entirely happy about Ron and Hermione being back in the game again. Maybe Hermione, I don't mind her so much... and ok, I suppose Ron can be sweet in his dumbness (or not?). I would just have liked to see something happen to bring them back together, rather than Ron just suddenly being sensible. Now I'm curious about what Ron and Hermione will bring to your story? I really like this chapter anyway, especially the flattening of Fudge - very well written. Lots of snorting in my teacup as well, especially about the 'nice bird' part. I'll be looking out for chapter 27. Cheers. /Fantasium

Author's Response: It should be on the way. I'm actualy surprised it isn't out yet. The mods must be backed up.

 
Reviewer: Fantasium Signed
Date: 01/19/05 Title: None

Short again, but interesting. I thought I'd see even more of Hermione, judging by your Author's responses to last chapter - but I guess there will be more coming. And something not really about this chapter, but about the story - you must have put some kind of magic into it because I find myself thinking about it, analyzing your characters and the plot, far more than I've ever done with anoter FF. Apparently the analyzing gives me a funny concentrated expression, because people keep asking what's wrong. :) Right, I'll let you get back to writing more fab stuff now... I'm really interested in that sequel you happened to mention in an Author's response. Cheers. /Fantasium

Author's Response: It will be knocking along through here as soon as Year of Discovery is finished being posted.

 

by
Rated: [Reviews - ]

Summary:

Categories: Orphan Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 0 Chapters: 0 Completed: No
Published:
12/31/69 Updated: 12/31/69


Reviewer: Fantasium Signed
Date: 09/08/05 Title: Chapter 14: Quidditch and Goodwill

Ah, the pressure is upon me now, to make this review SPEW-worthy. Well, I’ll try my very best! :)

Normally I’ll do the whining towards the end, but since it was a part of the very beginning of the chapter I want to comment on, I’ll do it first:
‘I may die, Ginny, but if I do I need you to go on living and loving. Your love is what I fight for. I love you, Ginny. I will do everything I can to come home to you.’ - I’m having a hard time with these four sentences. In one way, it could very well be something Harry had written, and I like the importance put on his love for Ginny. But to me (honestly, don’t know where this repetition nazi came from!), there is one ‘love’ too many. I’d start with taking ‘Ginny’ out of the first sentence, and then I would write number two and three together, losing a ‘love’ by doing so and using ‘Ginny’ there, something like: ‘I’m fighting for you, Ginny, and I love you.’, or perhaps the other way around: ‘I love you, Ginny, and I’m fighting/doing this for you.’
But, it’s of course just my opinion. *afraid she’s said too much*

You did a brilliant job on writing Hogwarts cut off from the Wizarding world. I almost got a feeling of being caved in when I read it, I was so aware of the silence both within the castle and from outside, and the horrible state of not-knowing.
‘If Harry failed, they needed to prepare for the eventual siege of Hogwarts.’ - a frightening sentence in the midst of it all. It’s telling me with so few words, both of the weight of the world that is lying on Harry’s shoulders, and the worry, the thought of the impossible – but possible – scenario that could follow if he shouldn’t make it.
And at the same time, there is light. I loved the idea of the mixed quidditch teams, as well as the names you picked for them. I also admire you for making the house unity matter, both here and after the arrival of the wounded. The Sorting Hat has sung so clearly to every reader of uniting and fighting for the same cause, but I don’t think I’ve read another story putting so much thought into it, and I really like seeing it.

Going back just a little bit, to Ginny sitting in the stands. The way she was becoming a whole person again, having been split, it reminded me so much of Voldemort and the horcruxes. It’s a very powerful liking, since Voldemort did it all for himself and his own winning, while Ginny went through it all for Gwendolen, for something good. Such a similar thing, but for such opposite purposes.
Further on, I really like the feeling of Hogwarts as a safe haven, reminding of some white tent from a nineteenth century battlefield, with Ginny like a Florence Nightingale. From the moment the alarm sounded she was so strong, despite all she had to see, and all the heavy thoughts she was carrying. When she’s assisting in the Hospital Wing, I couldn’t help but to pick up on her conclusion: ‘Wizards could do terrible things to each other without actually killing.’. - this lead my thoughts straight back to OotP and Dumbledore: ‘“Your failure to realize that there are things worse than death has always been your greatest weakness.”’ (quoted somewhere from the web, since I haven’t got my copy, but you get what I mean) – most excellent, clever tie-back to canon work! *impressed*

‘Wounded Death Eaters and other supporters of Voldemort’s were left to find succour elsewhere. Dumbledore regretted this necessity, but the overall safety of his charges took precedence.’ - and quite right, too. That was not a time to go around and give people second chances, even Dumbledore understood that. Wounded Death Eaters trying to get help at Hogwarts – very believable. Death Eaters suddenly regretting what they’ve done – would have been very unrealistic.

‘“Hey, sleepy-head.”’ - *is aaaawing and pushing Ginny out of the way so I can hug Harry* He made it, yay!
Actually, I don’t know if I’ve ever thought about it before… There are other stories that leave the actual “Final Battle” out, but this is the first time I’ve realised and accepted why. This is Ginny’s POV, of course. The point is what’s happening to her, the biggest issue is Gwendolen. “Last Battle” can go and sulk somewhere, I just want Gwendolen, with her parents!

And then we pop forward a bit, and I would like to compliment all of the text from where Molly woke up in her bed until the end of chapter. It’s an excellent slice of literature, possibly the best part of this story so far. And oooh, the drama! What an excellent way to let Harry know, following up with Harry’s exploding emotions, his justified anger. And then, *marvels*, he goes off to collect his daughter! A daughter he has never seen, but that he instantly believes he can care for better than his aunt. ‘He’d be damned if he was going to allow another Potter to suffer at the hands of the Dursleys.’ Oh, the excitement!

Lovely chapter, MJ! I’m all impatient to read the next one now, and even if I’m not usually one to pester authors with ‘update soon, plz’, I’ll still give you the much dreaded *puppy eyes*. ;)



Author's Response: Ah yes, the dreaded love letter. Sigh, I don't know why I couldn't get it right, but it underwnet several transformations and I must admit it's one of the weakest elements in the whole story... Well, ya win some... Anyway, thank-you ever so much for the brilliant review! I've shipped chapter 15 off to the lovelies who put up with my horrid writing and make me look good! So, if they don't make me rewrite the whole thing it should be up in a day or two!

 
Reviewer: Fantasium Signed
Date: 09/05/05 Title: Chapter 13: Home Fires

My attention was drawn back to A Secret Love by the arrival of Chapter 14. But when I glanced at my review for Chapter 12, I saw a promise not to try and review several chapters at once, again. So, I guess I had better review 13 before 14? Ah, enough babbling, here goes:

I’ll start with the birth of Algie. Childbirth seem to pop up here and there in fanfiction, because it’s such a big thing for a character to become a parent, I suppose, and clearly also for some back-story for ‘next generation fics’. I think the quality of these scenes vary much more than for example weddings or funerals, probably because the bigger part of writers on this site have not given birth themselves. I see serious writers who have obviously done lots of research on terminology and the feelings involved, I sometimes even think that they might have spoken to a mother to get a few inputs, but still there seem to be something missing. I don’t know if you have children yourself, but Penelope in labour was written with such confidence and clarity that I was sure you must have. The scene was not overly detailed or anything like that, but very believable, very real. Nice to see.

‘There was only a day to be enjoyed and a baby to be held.’ - such a simple, touching line. It feels like a classic, but not cliché, and I simply had to quote it. Lovely!

I keep thinking about Ginny (it would have been weird had I not, I guess), and the change her character is going through in this story. Yes, I must admit she’s different. But she didn’t start off different, she has changed throughout the story. So what am I trying to say? Well, I see a different Ginny here, but not a girl who is bluntly out of character, but a Ginny who has gone through a life-changing experience, resulting in a new young woman – but yet the same.
As we’re on the subject of Ginny, I’ll mention the only thing I wasn’t entirely happy with in this chapter. When she speaks to her mother:
‘“I felt so ashamed, I was certain that you and Father would hate me and that Harry would feel trapped and resent me.”’ - I agree that the situation is very serious, but I still can’t hear Ginny say ‘Father’ in my head. It sounds very ‘Percy’, and I think that she would still go with ‘Dad’, even in this conversation. But that’s just me.
Just something else specifically on Miss Weasley – I enjoyed how you wrote her feelings on the separation from Gwendolen. It’s touching, it affects me, I feel with Ginny, instead of just for her.

Oooh, I liked the scene with Ginny, Molly and Dumbledore in it! I haven’t read many stories that show as many angles of Molly as yours, and here you give us a stunning version yelling at Dumbledore! Excellent! Dialogue all through this part was brilliant, I’ve got no better words to describe it really. You work between the three characters with such flow, not only are the words spot-on, but they’re spoken with such intensity, and I was for some reason also very aware of the listeners, not just the current speaker.
‘He was the puppet master and they were all his marionettes.’ - I don’t know that I have ever seen this description of Dumbledore before. It’s true of course, but it instantly made me think of Voldemort, and that’s why the line was so remarkable. We’ve been shown the many similarities between Harry and Voldemort, but of course the Dark Lord will have some things in common with Dumbledore as well, seeing as they’re both such powerful wizards in such high positions. Very clever of you, I thought.

So, now that this is done and over with, I can go and write my review for Chapter 14 like I had planed to! :) No, seriously, this was a very nice chapter, I really enjoyed it both the first time I read it, and now when I re-read it for the review. You’re doing a great job, and I’m very curious about how this story will wrap up.



Author's Response: *head swells to an inordinately large proportion* Wow. I have several disclaimers up telling Jo's lawyers that I get nothing... but... that's not true. Reviews like this make me feel like I've suddenly won the lottery! I am jubilant to hear that my characters ring true, even though I've really taken them out of their normal context and made them do things Jo would never make them do... So... wow... thanks. *hies off to change Father to Dad*

 
Reviewer: Fantasium Signed
Date: 10/12/05 Title: Chapter 15: In Her Father's Arms

MJ, to begin with, applauds for finishing the story. I know Anne mentioned it already but I will repeat it – finishing a story is not as easy as it might seem. It’s certainly what I’m worst at. :) In addition, I don’t just think that this chapter finishes the story, but that it completes it. The tone is right in line with the earlier chapters, the style matches – something which can be difficult to achieve when there is a bit more time between writing each chapter. With this so neatly representing the end, A Secret Love gets its final judgement: one very enjoyable piece of literature!

Since Anne was also kind enough to point out the little mistakes, I’m going to ignore that bit (yay!) and only focus on the good stuff. First out is of course, at last, Petunia’s shining moment. And it is truly shining, I feel you must have worked this over in your mind forever and ever. In no way has she changed towards Harry, she has gained no understanding of what she has actually done to him, but still you manage to show us a much more human side of her. I guess that in one way all of us Ginny/Harry supporters will have to thank aunt Petunia. Not only for looking after Gwendolen, but also for her exaggerated scolding that shut Harry up and turned the thoughts around in his head. It would have been so hard on poor Ginny if Harry had stayed angry with her.
I wonder if Petunia’s caring for Harry’s daughter will serve as a link between them in the future? I’ve always thought that the Dursleys would be gone from Harry’s life the minute it was possible, but here you are really giving a perfectly good excuse for them to at least see each other again at some point. Interesting.

The gloominess of Grimmauld Place is a perfect contrast to the happiness we would have expected after victory and the end of the war. I like the feeling of emptiness you create, how Harry and Remus miss the presence of the other Order members, although their absence is the result of something good. Spontaneously, I want to say that Remus seems a bit too emotional, but you won’t let me do so. No, you’ve got his way of acting well justified with the losses from the war, the Firewhisky and the news that Isabelle has been hiding her pregnancy. These reasons let me sit back and enjoy the scenario - thank you, MJ! :) I’ll also say that I like how you borrowed Isabelle from Kay, even if it’s just a mentioning of the name in this chapter it’s different and refreshing from the usual Tonks.

I think the Arthur of this chapter is very interesting. His silent reaction to the truth about Gwendolen is very fitting, and the way you choose to write him towards Harry is believable. Canon might have shown us a quieter man in general, but this Arthur is also worn from the war and we know how serious he can be and how much he depends on his family… So, what I’m trying to say is that just like with Remus, I see Arthur’s way of acting justified. I simply adore how you make him turn to Molly for support, and the kiss they share.

And finally to the actual matter, Harry and Ginny. MJ, I love it. And where was it that I read ‘I like taking a stab at clichés and implausible plots and try to make them work.’ a long time ago? Well, in any case this is the finest proof I’ve got of your success at that so far. The kiss, the proposal, Ginny’s words on wanting happiness, Harry with Gwendolen, Ron’s reaction… it’s all well-written and if I had read something similar before – then it’s forgotten. :)
Particular favourite line: ‘She had no ability to deny this man anything he wanted.’ - I like it because to me it doesn’t show weakness from Ginny’s part, just love and devotion.
Another favourite: ‘He was in awe of the enormity of his feelings for this little creature.’ - this I picked out because I think it’s an excellent formulation of something you see in many fics where a baby is born.

And you give us a happy ending. *content sigh* It’s not overly idyllic though, there will still be a while before everyone is at peace, but you wrap up the story at a point where there is a lot of light and hope. As a reader I walk away from this tale content, carrying a bit of that hopeful feeling with me. I know many readers prefer to get other emotions out of reading, I do too at times, but to me nothing can ever really top a genuine bit of happiness. So, I guess a 'thank you, MJ!' is in order!



Author's Response: Well... You're Welcome! ;) And thank-you! I've been waiting for this review all day like a kid the night before Christmas and this truly was a gift worth waiting to unwrap! I must admit that Remus and Arthur made me uneasy, but they wrote their own words and I thank-you for suspending your disbelief just far enough to accept them. Thank-you! *is giddy and glowing from the praise!*

 
Reviewer: Fantasium Signed
Date: 06/19/05 Title: Chapter 12: An Unexpected Visit

Hi there, MJ, is it?
I’ve been sniffing around this story for a long while, being a H/G type of person (not by choice but because my heart won’t let me believe anything else, the silly blood pump, tss…) with, what I’d at least like to think myself, some taste. So why didn’t I throw myself at this story the first time I saw it, with its nice summary and chapter descriptions? To be brutally honest, I did not believe in or even like the idea of a pregnant 7th-year-Ginny.
And how wrong was I? So now I’m here, very humble and about to pester you with a completely unnecessary review (I’ve seen your fellow SPEW:ers around, they’re a little scary with their in-dept thoughts, to a mortal reader/reviewer like myself ), but I’d still like to give you my compliments on this amazing story.

To begin with, what a gorgeous Ginny you’re writing here! The way she’s feeling left behind, how she interacts with her friends at Hogwarts, her thoughts around Harry, the choices she’s making and the attitude she displays - well done! She’s strong in difficult situations without being blown up to some super-Weasley, at the same time as she can be weak and not a little foolish – that’s Ginny in character to me.
I like how you’re handling Percy, and the letter was exactly his tone and his words. I shall be waiting to see what has happened to him. Even though I’m not really worried about him (he could do with a difficult situation to sort out his priorities), I feel sorry for Penelope.

Out of all the characters, your version of Molly Weasley caught my attention most of all, she’s certainly one of (if not the) best one I’ve come across in fan fiction, and this is not because there are few writers who does her well - it's because you do it better. I can barely wait for her reaction on Gwendolen (which is by the way a very well picked name that provides a natural and nice nickname, Gwen).

On Hermione and Ron, I can simply say that the two of them together like this, written by you, make me happy. Both are in character, and oh, I just have to mention Ron’s reaction to what the Legilimens revealed. You see so many H/G fics where Ron is angry with Harry simply because they’re together, which feels so utterly wrong since he seems to like the idea (train ride home after 5th year), but here you’re giving him a fair reason to shove his fist in his best friend’s face. Poor Harry, but clever writing!
The only thing I’m not completely happy with is Hermione failing the auror training, I can understand if she has taken on too much, but not the suggestion that she would be less skilled with practical magic. She might not be as cool as the guys in a pressed situation, but she’s always been talented both theoretically and practically (she was one of few to produce a patronus in D.A., for instance). Apart from her failing, I really like what you’ve shown of the auror training so far.

So, what’s left? A lot, I suppose (shame on me for trying to review 12 brilliant chapters in one go), but I can’t escape Harry. Best of all, to me, was in Chapter 10 - Clearing the Air when he firmly tells them that he didn’t do it alone, how it was between him and Ginny. I find the "little mistake" on his birthday very trustworthy, as well as the consequences of it - which may not sound like great praise, but great praise is what I really mean by it, and that were the biggest doubts I had around this story. Silly me!

All right, from now on I’ll be a good girl and review chapter by chapter and stop doubting quality when it’s right in front of me. Thank you, MJ, for this wonderful story!



Author's Response: Wow! Thanks! To address Hermione, she's bitten off more than she can chew and she simply doesn't want to be an Auror. She fails not because she lacks aptitude, but because she lacks the attitude.

Thank-you for your compliments on Molly. She is one of my biggest pet peeves in fanfic. Writers tend to two dimensionalise her character and what they forget is that she has seven children. Seven. She's not stupid and she's got a lot of practice at being a mother. And mothers *know* things, they just do. And they love their kids no matter what. [/rant]

As for not reading sooner, I can't say that I blame you ;) The plot bunny attacked me and I started writing it, but I never gave any thought to what others would think of the teenage pregnancy. Looking back, it probably wasn't the best plot idea, but it's been a lot of fun to write! I'm so glad you've enjoyed it thus far, thank-you for the wonderful review!

~MJ

 

Summary: Harry is struggling to come to terms with the events of his fifth year. Can he learn to depend on those he considers family and become what he needs to be in order to survive?

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 188805 Chapters: 37 Completed: Yes
Published:
01/09/05 Updated: 03/16/05


Reviewer: Fantasium Signed
Date: 06/05/05 Title: Chapter 21: This Changes Everything

Right. I always feel so silly reviewing a story that is already completed, but in this case I have no choice. I started reading chapter one of your story last night at about quarter past ten. And I kept reading until quarter to seven in the morning (mental, this one). Now it's actually the evening after and I've read up to chapter thirty-four, but this is were I'll reveiw since this is where I stopped, exhausted and thrilled, at the break of dawn. So, where do I start? There's so much I should really have commented on each chapter, now it will be different. What I almost like best, is how well your story flows and how pretty much everything is correct, canon and ic. Impressive, especially if it's your first! Also, I've always avoided becoming a "shipper", but I cannot deny it any longer - I'm all for H/G. :) Your own original characters blend in nicely, none of them have disturbed me in any way, including what you have built up in the JKR characters who used to stand a bit in the background. Humour, there's lots of humour in what you write and I like it. In all, the tone, the style and the feeling is all very JKR - what higher praise can I give, honestly? After reading quite a bit around this place, I have come to realise that there are lots of talanted writers, but many tend to venture too far from what is likely to happen, others are too desperate to stay canon and mess up trying, but this is actually so close to what may be IT - maybe with lesser love scenes, hehe. But for Merlin's sake - don't lessen them in the sequel, I plan on catching up on that one after I spend a few more hours buried in 'Power of Emotion'. Then I'll be better, with regular chapter reviews, like a good reader. All my thanks to you for sharing such a good story, and thank whatever forces that steer our mouse-clicks that I finally found it! :)

 

by
Rated: [Reviews - ]

Summary:

Categories: Orphan Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 0 Chapters: 0 Completed: No
Published:
12/31/69 Updated: 12/31/69


Reviewer: Fantasium Signed
Date: 06/20/05 Title: None

Teehee, I can now start to chorus with all the people saying “I don’t really like H/Hr, but if it’s a good story, I’m up for it!”. Ooh, that was so close to a kiss on Harry’s bed, but thank you for stretching the tension even further, it’s nearly killing me and so enjoy near-death experiences from well-written fanfiction. ;)

I really liked the idea of that particular monument in the atrium, and even if it’s a little unfair to Harry I think the rest of the wizarding world could do well with a solid reminder. His Auror work was very realistic to me with its lack of excitement, especially with Shacklebolt looking back at the years after the first war. I smiled when I read your Tonks, it seems quite natural to a lot of authors to put her in a big sister/advisor position to Harry, you also combine it with her being a colleague and I think you do it really nicely.

Harry’s condo, ah, I soak up all the details like a dry sponge, I mean – even the colour of the ceiling? Wonderful! Your words did not just describe the way the place looks, but also the empty and almost sterile feel of it. And then, to think that it takes as little as one single person to make it more like a home. Having a slightly mischievous Dobby there was good and felt accurate, it didn’t feel unoriginal even though we often see him as Harry’s house elf. During the H/Hr conversations, I grinned on the sex change memory, nice idea!
She was his best friend, even eclipsing his friendship with Ron. - I really liked the ‘eclipsing’ bit, very original.
The prospect of seeing a professional Quidditch practice excited him very much. The prospect of having to see Cho again did not. - even though I’m normally one for looong sentences and a myriad of commas, those short sentences were powerful.

Right, a couple of things I’m less sure about. Whatever she said it left Tonks with the impression that Hermione liked him. - I think I’d like it to be either “Whatever she had said, it…” or “Whatever she said, it had…”, humble opinion of Fantasium.
You mention Susan’s visits to Harry’s place, at first it is …only been over once or twice… then it is a …handful of times…, which seems more like about five times to me, tiny thing but I happened to pick up on it.

Now I’m moving on to what I hope is a very in-detail scene on the deck. Thanks, again, for sharing the story!

 
Reviewer: Fantasium Signed
Date: 06/20/05 Title: None

Peeves stole an italics-end-tag, sorry about that - hope it makes some kind of sense anyway. :)

 
Reviewer: Fantasium Signed
Date: 06/20/05 Title: None

Peeves stole an italics-end-tag, sorry about that - hope it makes some kind of sense anyway. :)

 
Reviewer: Fantasium Signed
Date: 06/21/05 Title: None

All right, no scene on the deck, but what was there instead was so good that I'm not going to object. :) I'll be a bore this time and start with the criticism. On Hermione, it might just be me, but I can’t see her with nail polish, definitely not light blue. As for her change purse, I can’t see why it would be orange? If it was a R/Hr fic, all right, it could have been a present from Mr Chudley Cannons. I always thought of Hermione as someone with subtle style, in the sense that she doesn’t wear a lot of makeup or robes splashed with tropical flowers.
In the sentence After examining the contents for a few, seconds she looked over to Harry and beamed. - the comma should be after ‘seconds’ I suspect? And here: It certainly doesn’t sound like the wager a guy would make with a girl he had no interest in. - I’d like to see ‘didn’t’ instead of ‘doesn’t’. Right, that was the boring stuff.

Harry’s hesitation is so well-written, as is the continuous tension – I like it! :D The set-up of the Quidditch stadium was cool and thought-through, impressive. Harry’s reaction on Cho, and what Hermione seemed to think about it, was hilarious: But, if his face was on fire, Hermione was having a nuclear meltdown on hers. - Description of the Month award. :D I felt a little sad as Harry remembered flying, how he thought that it was a perfect day for it – it reminded me a little of the epilogue for The Long Road Home by Ashwinder. Very well done all in all, I’ll be getting onto the last chapter up now.

 
Reviewer: Fantasium Signed
Date: 06/21/05 Title: None

Before I started reading this last chapter up, I promised myself that I should not start ranting about ’update soon, plz’ – after all it should not really have mattered if you even abandoned the story, what’s there already is so good and if nothing else, serves as good inspiration. But now I can barely contain myself, what a way to end a chapter. :) How could I not, at least in a very polite and well-behaved way, ask for more? *offering a writing-booster-cookie*

I picked up on a tiny grammar mistake when I was reading, but I was too busy with the story to even take a note, and when I went back to search for it I couldn’t find it – so I’ll just stop being silly and leave it be.
Plenty of nice dialogue in this chapter, best so far I think. The only thing I thought was a little odd was the fact that Ron had been to both Seamus’ and Dean’s places, and not made it to Harry’s... Now why on earth could that have been? ”He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Laid”, what a well placed self-criticising phrase (and funny, too, of course)!
Tonks in leather pants? I agree with Harry, I could do without that mental image. But better her than Mrs Weasley or someone, I suppose? *marvelling at the world of ff*

Amazing work you’ve done here so far, I shall be keeping an eye open and cross my fingers there’ll be more. Honestly, it would be a shame otherwise, with such a good story.

 
Reviewer: Fantasium Signed
Date: 06/19/05 Title: None

I’m not really sure what I’m doing here in the first place, being a firm disbeliever of the H/Her category. Let’s just say that early morning ventures on MNFF do strange things to you, at least if you’re Swedish and have royally messed up your sleeping hours. Anyway, I stumbled over your story, I noticed a teasingly long first chapter and the fact that it’s a post-Hogwarts - both of which really appeals to me. So I read it. And now I’m reviewing, trying not to feel unnecessary upon seeing the great response you’ve already got - I don’t care, I want to have a go, too.

The descriptions, the details! You’ve touched a soft spot here, I so appreciate authors who take the time and have the ability to write colourful environments for me to paint in my mind. We’re all aware of how many great stories there are on this site, but I only think there’s one writer who beats you at describing setting, namely Magical Maeve (and being second to her should probably not count as being second at all, but being damn good!).

Hermione in a Muggle flat - excellent! Unless the R/Her shippers get it their way, that’s how I’m convinced she would live, including the interior. And yaiks! on her profession, that is also what I’ve pictured myself, even though it goes against my logics - without making her the dreaded super-Hermione, I will still think of her as extremely talented and in the position of choosing any career. Would she then go for something as common as Muggle relations? I’m not sure.

I haven’t got a lot to say on Ron, except that he was well in rather-daft-character, teaming up nicely with airy-fairy-Parvati. I realise now that by stepping away from the so assumed R/Her relationship, Hermione is put in a whole new light. The fact that she chose not to be his girlfriend and also broke his heart gives at least me a stronger Hermione, a person who is not so limited by Hogwarts and herself but who dares to believe that there must be something better.
The dialogue and actions between Harry and Hermione, it’s simply sparkling (I never thought the day would come when I wrote that, honestly) and you’ve built a brilliant tension that I hope will last a while before it breaks down in sinful snogging (or something a bit more romantic, perhaps?), it would be a waste of fine writing otherwise.

In despite of myself, I shall go on to read the next chapter, already hoping that it’s equally good as the first one. As for now, thanks for sharing your story, Vader!

 

Right Under His Nose by CathCarl
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 901]

Summary: Harry comes back from serving detention with Ron and finds Ginny and Dean in a rather compromising position. A strange and confusing set of new feelings erupts... like wanting to punch Dean Thomas senseless. But what's confusing Harry most of all is that Ginny no longer seems to be just Ron's little sister... she's a beautiful girl, standing right under his nose-- exactly where he hadn't been looking.

Edited by Moderator: Summaries should be concise and minimally formatted. They should not contain any form of author's note or pleas for reviews.

Categories: Harry/Ginny Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 68103 Chapters: 17 Completed: No
Published:
01/15/05 Updated: 08/30/06


Reviewer: Fantasium Signed
Date: 02/19/05 Title: Chapter 7: Always and Forever

I just got up to date with your chapters, so I feel it's review-time! I've really enjoyed it so far, you draw very clear and colourful pictures of "your" Harry and Ginny in my mind, and your dialouges are simply amazing! Not to mention Harry think-talking to himself, Dog, it makes me laugh! Anyway, keep up that brilliant work of yours and I'll be checking for chapters every day! :) /Fantasium

Author's Response: "Not to mention Harry think-talking to himself, Dog, it makes me laugh!" This made me laugh as well. :D Thanks for all the compliments, Fantasium. It's great to have a new reviewer!

 
Reviewer: Fantasium Signed
Date: 02/22/05 Title: Chapter 8: What do we have here?

Ooooh! This is good! >:) SO well written, but eeevil you, leaving us hanging like that! Anyway, HappyHarry with his thoughts make me smile like mad - I love it! More chapters, if you may! Cheers. /Fantasium

Author's Response: Eeevil Draco ending the story with an eeevil cliffhanger... :) My apologizes for leaving you hanging. But, hey, at least it's Happy!Harry now, right? :) Thanks for reading and reviewing, Fantasium!

Author's Response: *my apoloies, not apologizes. *bangs self on head*

Author's Response: What is it
with that word?
APOLOGIES! *bangs self on head more repeatedly* And now you've probably gone off thinking I'm some crazy person... well, maybe I am. ;)

 

Summary: Harry, heavy with the summer's grief and his future's burden, begins his final year at Hogwarts. He will hide something from his two best friends, but he isn't the only one keeping secrets; there's a mysterious organization on the rise, and Hogwarts is under fire from the public. The truth about the past will be revealed, while secrets of the present are hidden, and Harry must struggle to find his own sense of morality, all while knowing that his destiny is to kill. SEQUEL to Harry's Sixth Year. This story is PRE-HBP

Categories: General Fics Genre: Warnings: Character Death, Violence

Word count: 112805 Chapters: 41 Completed: Yes
Published:
02/26/05 Updated: 09/14/06


Reviewer: Fantasium Signed
Date: 03/01/06 Title: Chapter 34: Chapter 34: Grey

So, this is where Anna tries to focus on what’s before her, and not on her generally disorganised thoughts around Blood Debt.

This chapter is so heavy. Usually, all of your chapters have a point where I go “awww” or *gasp*, but this one communicates the stagnant feeling so well that my reaction was mostly a drawn out, heavy sigh. It is such a contrast to your somehow more “alive” chapters. I’m thinking especially about the brief scene at the platform. Of course, Harry doesn’t love Katie any less now than he did in September, but the difference between their spectacular kiss then and the small kiss on the cheek now… it frightens me. As does Harry’s whole attitude in this chapter. Not frightening me as in losing faith in him, no, but because of what is so clearly approaching. The silent preparations, the new “routines” of classes and studying… The sleepy mood captures me, but at the same time I’m nearing some point of being prepared. A part of me is screaming that I would rather have a big battle with lots of losses than another chapter of this – not because it isn’t beautiful or expertly written, but because it is, and therefore it’s so heavy to bear.

“Every one of those things attacked me…” Ron grumbled, his ears turning a slight pink. - I shouldn’t be giggling and thinking about canon birds attacking Ron, should I? Well, *giggle*, I still am. =)

I think I spotted something in the few lines of Hermione/Blaise conversation:

“Blaise, hello,” Hermione said warmly, getting a bit flustered as she cleared her throat and turned away slightly from Ron and Harry.

“They were fine,” Blaise answered in a dusky voice, as though trying to remain both inaudible and impartial to emotion while Hermione’s friends were around.

Who were fine? I seems like Hermione was supposed to ask a question there? And, I wasn’t going to ask about those walks, but… Jenna, I never really ask outright questions in reviews, but now I am going to (without expecting an actual answer, of course). Should my BD R/Hr shipper give up its hopes? And no, not in consideration to Siobhan and Blaise, but in general. Because the wee shipper is still waiting, hoping and grasping for bright spots whenever they appear.

I will be getting a bit repetitive now, but towards the end of the chapter the feeling grows even stronger. Even with the awful knowledge of what is to come, some part of me prefers it to having to experience Harry’s weariness. We know there has to be an end, both to this story and this war, and I think that you, with this chapter, took a major step in readying both characters in reader for what is to come. So, I guess my caps lock key and I should go and prepare for a Ch 35 review… *hugs*

 
Reviewer: Fantasium Signed
Date: 03/02/05 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2: Toasts, Porridge, and a Painting

I hate it! I hate it! *wiping my eyes again* But oh, I love it. I love "your" Fred and George, they are so typical and adorable (never thought I'd use that word about them, but there you are). All the speeches were very good, but especially their. The two words "killed Bill" brought a flash of a very cool Uma Thurman through my head as well! :) I wish I was better at drawing too, but if you find me some good models for Harry and Katie I'll photograph them any time! Right, better leave you in peace so you can contiune writing on your fab story now! /Fantasium

Author's Response: kill bill! yay - i kept thinking that, too. lol. thanks for the lovely lengthy review again, hun ;)

 
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