I love Harry Potter fan fiction, because it allows my imagination to run free!
I probably could be doing something more productive, but since I love to read and write, and hope to be an author one day, this doesn't seem like a whole waste of time!!!!
I love this site so much. It really let's me challenge my mind and see things in a whole new light.
Go fan fiction!!!!!
EDIT: I am a poetry nut! So watch out for all my poetry and you can even check some of my poetry out on Poetry Anyone? in the Beta Forums, if you are able to get an account. :) Also watch out if you write poetry, too! I am sure to review it, and possibly leave behind a critique!
Summary: The Grey Lady reflects.
Nominated for Best Poem in the 2012 Quicksilver Quill Awards
So sad! A beautiful short poem. I loved the imagery of the moths, and also that you used her name to show her personality. Grey, grey, grey... :)
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing :)
When a Dementor approaches, one feels cold in places that the nerves of the skin can only dream of approaching.
Those places, for Harry, were dark, indeed.
Do the colors red and green refer to the color of spells being thrown? I realize this is about dementors but I remember that Harry kept relieving flashes of green light...
This is exquisitely beautiful! Dangerous, but ravishing and somewhat mind opening... I especially loved your last sentence "So dark." it really paints the picture of falling into the eternal black abyss that our minds create for us.
Great job and keep it up!!!
In this particular poem, the green does refer to the curse used to kill his mother, and the red references many things - Lily's red hair, the colour of Voldemort's eyes, and well...when the second killing curse rebounded, the room did basically explode. Red also symbolises courage, danger, aggression, and blood (therefore life and death). It seemed an appropriate time to put that in there, because it's where Harry is starting to question what all of these memories mean for him.
The 'So Dark' part, I was going for not only Harry passing out, but also realising that there are far more sinister things out there than Voldemort, like creatures that can suck out your soul while making you watch a film in your head of all the most horrible things that have ever happened to you. Harry chose his boggart well, because being afraid of a dementor is definitely more something that one should fear than silly little things like spiders and snakes.
I'm glad you liked the poem. It's really dark, but if one doesn't look at the dark here and there, who's to say what things look like in the light? Thanks for reviewing and reading. <3
Hi! I have already reviewed, I know, but I decided to review again, because I found the reviewing poetry circle on the Beta Forums and just had to review this poem! So here it is:
Okay! First off, I have to say that this poem was genius in its diction, syntax, and also in its paragraph style. So many people think that poetry needs to be broken up into halted lines, but I loved how you broke the tradition- it makes you stand out from the others. Also, the choice to use, "you" works out great because now the reader feels why the character feels and it leaves a deeper impression. As for your word choice:
"Shivers EXALT your skin." I enjoyed how you chose exalt, as though the shivers could be pleasurable or not. Not only that, but they seem to last forever on your skin, and trust me, they still EXALT mine!
"You shudder. So cold." Lovely syntax. The sharp terseness makes one catch their breath and feel the short coming breaths that are so sharp and sudden and jarring. The syntax really reflects how the character feels.
"They permeate far, far, far down." Nice repetition! It really emphasizes just how these shivers affect the person and invade their mind.
"Neurons fire and photons dance." Again, nice diction choice! I love how you chose something more scientific instead of just saying "nerves." It really paints the picture of every part of the body being affected.
"Things long forgotten burn amidst frozen flesh." Ooh!!! Makes me shiver again! The contrast of fire and ice, plus the allusion to how dementors freeze everything is so effective and beautiful!
"Relentless tattoo of remember." I love the word tattoo. It brings to mind not only permanence, but also reminds me of the dark mark. Even if the poem is about Harry, I assume it could apply to any unfortunate person, like Snape or even Draco, who regret becoming death eaters and would definitely feel the dark mark burning a "relentless remember."
"Bathed in terrible colours." Again my mind and skin crawls! The image of drowning or being submerged in the terrible sea comes to mind.
"Screams of green slide down the walls." AUGH!!! Okay, again beautiful diction! It's great how you said "screams" as if the spells have noise to them (like the sound of rushing death) and they "slide" down walls (whether real or memory walls, it still causes me to squirm). The image of poor Lily falling to the ground only makes this line that much more penetrating.
"Seeping into the woodwork into a pool of red." I think of blood, of course, but not physical blood. More of the mental kind, the cause of pain, hurt, and agony as Lily realizes she's gone and Harry is left "unprotected." also, it has a double-meaning for Harry, who probably has his own "blood" acting like this as he relives the memory. And he can't handle it.
"Wild and loud and indecent and chases you until there is nothing but black." Nice choice of the word "and." Instead of using commas, this word actually makes it more pressing and jarring and imprints it more on the mind. Plus, it creates a pounding chaos and hurt, as though the person is unable to escape and succumbs to the pain.
"So dark." I have always loves this ending. :) Sigh. It's to the point and short and so memorable and leaves me in my own abyss. Augh!!!
I didn't touch in every line, but I have to say I enjoyed the changing sentence structure- long sentences, the short, rapid ones. It caused a sense of panic in me, which is actually a good thing for this poem.
Okay, now I can criticize! Don't worry. I loves this poem and it's great the way it is. However, I think it could have been stretched a bit longer. Not because the shortness of it isn't great (it is) but because it would help the reader see even more of the torment that haunts those poor people. I know it's more about Harry, so perhaps you could add a bit about him falling into nothingness (like in the third book when he experienced this at the Quidditch match). You have screams, which is good, but maybe you could add "pleadings" or something that alluded more to the scary image of Voldemort murdering. And maybe, just maybe, to make it more defined, add a tinge of hope that may or may not be extinguished, to show how Harry longs to hear his parents' voices (quite like he longed to see their faces in the mirror).
Other than that, it is still beautiful! :)
Thanks for letting me get to read it and review!
Summary: Draco reflects on his future directly after the Battle of Hogwarts.
I loved the scarlet letter allusion!
I have a great appreciation for people who write about characters in ways we never thought of. This was beautifully tragic! And I can look at the Malfoys in a new perspective. Good job!
Author's Response: Yeah, it was probably difficult for the Malfoys directly after the battle, and for a long time afterwards, even if Harry did speak up for Narcissa and/or Draco. Would be a nightmare to be born into their family after the war, given that they were probably the biggest social pariahs around for a good long time. Ta muchly for the feedback CbK
Summary: She had loved Draco Malfoy since she was 13 years old, had studied him alongside her books when she was a Hogwarts student--but the War has destroyed more than just the lives of those who were gone. Her seven year betrothal broken, she must now learn to understand the man whose ring she wears. [Pansy/Theo]
Awwwwww! You captured these emotions do well and I am just speechless! So many things are reeling in my mind and I do not know how to organize them!!! I will just have to settle for saying that you have done a fantastic job with this story. :)
Author's Response: Thank you! :)
Summary: In the aftermath of the battle, Argus does the only thing he can.
Wow! I loved every minute of this story. The way you wrote it was perfect- in Argus' own language. I think I can appreciate Filch more now- yes, he was a squib, but for some reason, the books never really gave us understanding of what happened to squibs. So thank you for your own input of how they might manage their lives.
My favorite bit was that he decided to help clean the castle- when in the books, he hated having to clean up, and gave detention to students who ruined the cleanliness! Yet what else could Filch do after the battle?
Great job! :)
Author's Response: Many thanks. It was a fun challenge to try to get the flavor of Filch's dialect without going overboard. The story was inspired by the moment in the last film in which we see Filch sweeping up the rubble. Thanks for reading!
Summary: You have always loved the chase. The pursuit of Quaffles and dragons have carried you through decades. But before you discovered your childhood hobby or your career, before you can even remember, you have sought (loved) him. [reposted under new account name]
Interesting! I loved how you broke apart the stories with parentheses, but the story itself- it made me so confused! Not in a bad way! I mean, has Charlie always been with Fleur (since the wedding)? If so, is it possible, then, that Victoire is Charlie's daughter and not Bill's? The thought makes me shudder!
Jealousy and revenge are not the answer! Children, please do not ever follow Charlie's example!!!!!!!!!!!!! *chuckles* ;)
Author's Response: Their interactions started at Bill and Fleur's wedding, but it's open to interpretation whether their relationship started then... all I describe in the story is them dancing together. Glad you liked the use of parentheses!
A little postscript (if you don't mind): I love the song, Hallelujah!!!!!! My favorite version is by Rufus Wainwright, and I listen to it all the time!
Keep letting music inspire you, and keep writing!
Author's Response: Haha, yes, me too. :) Thanks again!
Harry waits for someone to meet him at Godric's Hollow on Christmas Eve. This is a story about growing up, moving on and remembering your past without taking it with you.
H/Hr friendship with a bit of H/G
How bittersweet! Goodness, you captured these emotions so well, and it tugged my heart strings... I struggled like Hermione to not cry...
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing :) Sorry about the almost-tears! Thank you, I am glad you liked it :)
Summary: Sirius has a problem. He doesn't want to ask James's help. But could an unexpected offer from Madam Rosmerta solve everything? And will James realise that the bravado and good looks of his best friend are just a facade?
CAN IT BE TRUE? This story achieved an honorable mention in the Illustration for Inspiration Challenge
Wow! I laughed so hard when James burst into the shop! I loved the different perspectives you had in this story, and the idea was great! Sirius, not always great with women! I adored your characterizations, too. Great job!
Author's Response: I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I struggled a lot with this one, and I'm glad you thought I got the characterisation right!
Summary: It is the beginning of seventh year, and Neville has had just about enough of Amycus Carrow.
This is Acacia Carter of Hufflepuff writing for the first third of the Character Triathalon, for the "missing moment" prompt.
Many thanks to Jess for the lightning-fast beta.
WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your characterization was just perfect! I loved this story, and i especially loved that Neville called it his badge. It's true that in war, we end up getting scars and bruises that show our bravery. I'm proud of Neville! And I'm proud of you!
Summary: Nicolas Flamel shares his gift with a few talented students and forges an unbreakable friendship.
Well, I have to admit I was a little lost while reading. I couldn't quite follow what was happening. I found that you had very vivid imagery, which is always beautiful, but I was just confused! I'm so sorry! I didn't understand the relations going on, and sometimes could not tell when it was Dumbledore or Flamel speaking.
I give you an A for effort! And hopefully, I'm just really tired and unable to really follow much at the moment. *buries face in hands*
Summary: Written for the 2012 Character Challenge, a missing moment in which Draco Malfoy receives the Dark Mark before returning to school for his sixth year. Several years later, he violently regrets his choice.
What an awful Dark Mark! Voldemort must have been really powerful to cast such magic!
I feel so bad for Draco, and I think I can understand all of his actions completely. I just hope I never get into that situation!
Great job! It is a good prequel. I especially liked how you spaced out everything. :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it - and I hope you never get into that situation either. ;) ~Gina :)
Summary: During the hunt for Horcruxes, Ron left. When Harry was close to death, Ron came back. What did Ron do while Harry and Hermione were moving from place to place and tearing through Godric’s Hollow? How did Ron survive on his own, with Snatchers and Death Eaters crawling all over the Wizarding World, unable and unwilling to let his family know what he’d done?
This is noblefate of Ravenclaw writing for Round One of the 2012 Madam Pomfrey’s One-Shot Character Triathlon.
Oh, poor Ron! I think you did a magnificent job, but I'm positive that Ron visited his brother Bill during this time. He told his friends later that Bill had always been decent to him, and didn't like him running away, but had helped him just the same... Other than that, I loved it!
Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review. I too thought Ron visited Shell Cottage, but I went back through Deathly Hallows as I wrote this and couldn't find the reference where he mentioned it so I thought better safe than sorry. Glad you liked the story, Shell Cottage visit or not. :-)
In response to your response: the reference is on page 397 of chapter twenty, Xenophilius Lovegood, in the American version of the Deathly Hallows. :) but as you said, it didn't really matter!
Author's Response: That's what I'd been looking for! You would have been a godsend when I was writing this... Thanks for doing more due diligence than me and finding what I didn't. If I ever go back and seriously revise the piece, I'll definitely use this info.
Summary: Luna's trip back to Hogwarts is interrupted by Death Eaters on the train.
This is AidaLuthien of Hufflepuff writing for Round One of the 2012 Character Triathlon.
I love how you characterized Luna, but in the seventh book, it said that Luna had been taken during the Christmas season. So why would she ask her friends if they had a good Christmas? She would have already been taken... (see chapter 20, Xenophilius Lovegood, pages 396-397 of the American version of the Deathly Hallows) other than that, I think that this was a great short story. You captured the essence of Luna well.
Summary: It wasn't love, exactly. But it was a little bit more than friendship. Twelve-year-old Luna needed Archie to remind herself of what she believed in. Archie needed Luna to save him.
This isn't a story about first love. But it is a story about childhood, and making the decision to leave it.
How beautiful and poetic! And what a great friendship! I loved how Luna made friends with the boy, and how they found comfort in one another. :) Great job!!!!!! Friendship and innocence are always things to desire... :D
Author's Response: Thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it :)
Summary: Lord Voldemort reflects on death.
This poem was written for Th Random Song Challenge set by the fabulous Julia who remains an inspiration.
Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling and have nothing to do with Wolf Parade.
Here is my fab review: I love poetry! Am I right in thinking that this was the ghost of Voldemort? If not, then who is it?
My favorite line was the last one- And I am eternal. How true that spirits are eternal, although what he really meant was that he would live on in infamy, always remembered. Still, it's a scary thought- to always be remembered... To think that centuries from now, some people could be learning about any one of us! And how will the books write us? History is written by the victor, and as we have witnessed in all these stories, perspective is everything!!!!!! Just a little thought that will probably haunt me for a while... :D
Great poem, by the way! It was flawless (I find most poetry to be flawless, anyways, since the words always come from a special place in people's hearts and minds). :) :) :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much. Poetry has so little love on the archives that I'm always doubly delighted to get a review, and triply when it's a lovely one like this. Yes, it's Voldemort's ghost talking and the other ghosts are the ones clamouring for revenge. History is of course written by the victor, but I also think his name will live on as a horror story to frighten people. Thank you again ~Carole~
A witch is born. She already has opinions.
Alternate-universe only in that it disregards Pottermore information on Minerva's parentage.
I love the Scottish words and language you used! You have a real knack of capturing how people speak! :) it's amazing that some children pick up magic so quickly...
Author's Response: Thanks! It was a bit of a stretch, given that the closest I've ever been to Scotland is Paris, LOL! Yes, I see Minerva McGonagall as a powerful witch with an even more powerful set of opinions.
Summary: A silly wee ode to poor dead Fred.
What a humorous poem! I loved it! Since I'm not a Percy fan, I totally didn't mind the wish to hurt him. :) teehee!
Author's Response: Hello Nagini Riddle, yeah, I'm still really miffed that Percy got life while poor dead Fred is lost to us forever.I can't even comprehend what life must be like now for Georgie ... Thanks for R & R-ing, Kara's Aunty ;)