I love Harry Potter fan fiction, because it allows my imagination to run free!
I probably could be doing something more productive, but since I love to read and write, and hope to be an author one day, this doesn't seem like a whole waste of time!!!!
I love this site so much. It really let's me challenge my mind and see things in a whole new light.
Go fan fiction!!!!!
EDIT: I am a poetry nut! So watch out for all my poetry and you can even check some of my poetry out on Poetry Anyone? in the Beta Forums, if you are able to get an account. :) Also watch out if you write poetry, too! I am sure to review it, and possibly leave behind a critique!
Summary: Ron proves his comedic mettle to a sceptical Fred. Completely AU silliness. Rated for very mild language.
Wow. I didn't realiZe the Wizarding world had so many light jokes about the Dark Lord! Why would you joke about him? I'd be really scared too...
But I still laughed! And I enjoyed the twins humor. :)
Summary: Regulus Black was loved by his family. The perfect son, and what an honor it was for him to fulfill The Dark Lord's request! But Regulus also loved his family, so how far would he go to uphold their honor? And when will their honor go too far?
First, I would like to say that I adored this poem! It was very beautiful and rhythmic and slightly despairing. I commend you for gliding into the hazy realms of poetry!
The letter, wax seal
The news, such honor
A friend, forever
His Andromeda, the
I really enjoyed the subtle rhyme presented in this stanza, and really liked the metaphor presented. I am drawn in by the letter being opened, and your simplistic language lays it out quite nicely. I do have a qualm about punctuation. I myself feel like punctuation isn't necessary in poetry, but I will echo y colleagues in saying that if you use some punctuation, it is probably best to use it all the time in the poem. So, i would either add in punctuation, or else get rid of it, and place breaks in lines where punctuation would be used.
she had found love and
left her home and
ran away and
didn’t look back and
sent a last note and
changed his mind.
Note on capitalization: what is your purpose for switching it up in each stanza? I rather like it without capitalization for the whole piece. Again, I like the simplicity of your word choice, because it allows it to speak for itself and emote an emotion closer to something I recognize. :)
The pain, too much to
Lost religion, perhaps a
Or an idea, a plan, a
His past loyalty but
"Lost religion" makes me shiver. Yet, I want just a tad bit more in this stanza to show what he is going through emotionally. Does he lose himself in sleep or drink? Or does he remove himself from the world, become a recluse? Adding one more detail would make it that much stronger!
he went back and
took the prize and
lost his balance and
sank, deeper, deeper, and
the bubbles stopped and
he closed his eyes.
Very nice imagery with the bubbles. It can take on so many meanings, and I think the ambiguity of it lends the reader to be able to feel as broken or lost as he was, kind of like that there is no set meaning for life.
The letter, wax seal
Her cousin’s life,
A friend, forever
Her Regulus, she felt
Oh wow! The fact that you repeat the motif of the letter is haunting, because it makes the letter itself a villain, the bringer of bad news, and kind of suggests that "news" is impassive and uncaring. I hope to never receive such a letter...
she cried as he had cried and
sent a note to his mum and
pondered lost religion and
said a prayer for his soul and
almost looked back and
wished she hadn’t changed his mind.
The other stanzas all have shorter lines, and then these are longer. That's fine, but I felt like perhaps another stanza could have been as similar to really make this piece feel like part of the whole. That being said, I still enjoyed the message at the end, and felt so bad for the main character. I am a little lost as to who the characters are, but it may just be me. I did like that you repeated the lost religion and the contrast with prayer.
If I could give you any pointers, it would be that sometimes, vagueness is okay, but I as a reader, while I loved the effect of the poem and the imagery, did not quite understand who it was about. Try to make it a bit more clear- not much is needed to do so, but if you added another characteristic to help, it would. I realize there are names- Andromeda and Regulus, but I'm not sure I understand the relationship going on, or if they are in anyway connected...
I still enjoyed the poem, though! Remember the bit on punctuation and capitalization.
I am very happy to have this opportunity to leave a review for a fellow writer! :) Have a fantastic day!!!!!
Summary: Draco Malfoy pushes Neville Longbottom a step too far. AU.
Neville! Oh how I love that he is in his rightful place of Gryffindor. :) beautifully done, and I think that Neville would actually do this (based off of what he did in the seventh book).
Alone, disgusting, adrift between life and death...
This is Tom Riddle's penance for his lack of remorse.
Do I want to leave a thought? Hmm...
Alright, you win. I don't consider this too moody, but then again my favorite characters are Tom and Severus, so perhaps I just lean to moody and depressing things... :D
Well, maybe the poem isn't as moody as I thought, but it was more a reference to my personal mood when I write it. I was in a crap disposition over something that wasn't remotely important (is it ever anything relevant?), and then I wrote this.
I always found it the height of irony that Voldemort was always thwarted by the simplest things. Well, not simple, but things he considered unworthy of his attention. A baby. A sixteen year old boy and his old house elf. A specky orphan. A simple Disarming Spell. And it brought him the one thing he sought so hard to escape. It felt like a great idea for a poem to me, so here we are.
Thanks for reviewing, and for visiting a poem I really like but doesn't get much love. I appreciate it, and take care!
What Allegiance means to Lucius Malfoy.
A new dark lord??????????!!!!!!!!!!?????!!!!! :o *lifts an eyebrow in shock* Lucius is twisted! Didn't he see what happened the last time? No way would Draco stand for Scorpio to become evil! Not after all that occurred before.
Anyways, great poem! It's nice to see what allegiance means to different people. :)
Summary: Luna isn't a pretty girl who plays Quidditch. She's just a quirky little thing who loves the color orange and hearing stories; luckily, she's a very good listener. One-shot, LL/FW, character death.
Oh, this was so beautiful! I love Luna now! Flamboyant orange!!!!! Sorry, I'm trying hard to not be sad and mournful. You have captured emotion so well, and your characterizations were perfect, to the "t"!!!!! :) But of course, it was so sad and melancholic. The way Luna dealt with it was just so eloquent and beautiful. Wonderful job! I hope you can continue to write beautiful stories like this one.
Author's Response: Thank you for the kind words. :) This may sound weird, but I'm always glad when I write something that saddens people--it means I've done something right!
Summary: There is a boy in this orphanage, and something is not quite right about him.Written as a birthday present for lily_evans34/Rachel, who is lovely, talented and wonderfully funny. :) I hope you have a great day. Nominated for a QSQ in the Dark/Angsty category. Thanks to Kara and Carole for their help! This story would still be full of holes if it weren't for you two. DISCLAIMER: J.K.Rowling is not me. :p
How was this morbid? Man, Riddle is my favorite character (if you couldn't already deduce that from my user name) and you captured his character exquisitely. I sometimes wish I knew Tom, and these little stories about him just make me happy. Of course, if Tom hadn't been evil, I don't know what I would have thought of him... I don't necessarily see him as evil, though. More like neglected and really needing some affection from others who understand him (but don't try to force their views on him). If he had someone like that in his life, he might have turned out better...
Author's Response: Was this NOT? :D I'm surprised you like Riddle so much; I wouldn't have expected it since you don't seem to like my darker fics :) But yeah, I find him a fascinating subject of study. I'm not too sure how well he'd have turned out if he had been given another upbringing, though I'd like to believe he'd have grown up differently. Thank you for reading and leaving such a lovely trail of reviews.
Severus Snape is Professor Horrible, inspired by Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog.
This was really cool! It had a great steady beat, and it was about one of my favorite characters!!!!!! The last stanza is truly inspiring: with my potions I will change the world, with my potions I will change. Sigh!!!!!!! What a great perspective to have. :)
Summary: It’s April Fools’ Day. Lily Evans wants nothing more than to escape, but she's caught off guard by someone she'd prefer to forget.
This is PoeticallyIrritating of Ravenclaw writing for the 2011 Aprils Fools' Day Challenge in the Great Hall, Prompt 3(A).
Awwwwwwwwwwwwww! I love Sev!!!!!!! Why did he and lily have to split up? Stupid Death eaters!!! Anyways, I really liked this short story. :D it was fun to read and really entertaining. Nice work. Keep it up!
Summary: A poem chronicling the famous Battle of Hogwarts.Many thanks to Jezza and Cazza for their suggestions. This poem placed third in the Battle Challenge at Poetry Anyone?
I happen to read this on Memorial weekend! I think that pretty much says it all, an how can I follow up your poem with my harsh, terse comments? They just don't do your story justice!
But you captured the battle so well, and I especially like the last two lines, where it says that we still live on, continuing to push forward, even though we've had heavy losses. It's a great message for everyone to have. :)
Author's Response: Thank you, once again for reading and reviewing. Ah, what a day to read this poem on! I'm honoured you liked the message. :)
Summary: Before Remus leaves for the Battle, what goes on in his mind?Winner of the Copycat Challenge; written after the style of e e cumming's it may not always be so;and i say.
What a beautiful tribute to the protector, Remus, though we know that Tonks came to the battle and died anyway. He was trying to protect his family! The fact he had a family makes me so happy, and hopeful for my future. I may not see a battle like this one, but I hope I can be like Remus and protect my family from other dangers in the world...
Author's Response: That is a nice thought. I hope the same for myself too! :) Thanks for reading and reviewing. (BTW, have you signed up at the Beta Forums?)
Hermione never left Harry's side...
...But that doesn't mean she never thought about it.
Wow!!! Wow! And a third wow! *speechless*
You managed to make this a story and poem at the same time, a feat that I find rather difficult. It flowed so well, and I could feel the guilt pouring from Hermione. Goodness, Jess, you are an amazing poet! Where do you get it? :P
P.S. Have a happy Halloween, and don't try to leave anyone alone... *spooky music*
Helloooo, my prolific poem reviewer!
Hermione's plight in the tent is one of the most tender and potent genres of character study in the Potterverse, yet so little is made of that time. Julia explores it well in The Lost Weeks, and this humble contribution to the pool pales in comparison, but I'm happy you enjoyed it.
Thank you for visiting, and I shall make sure neither Harry nor Hermione are left alone. Muahahahahaha!
Summary: Hermione sits and thinks of the boy who left and why she did not follow.
Tied in first place for the 2011 Quicksilver Quill Award in Best Poetry.
My goodness! I absolutely loved this poem! When I have time later, I will definitely write a critique for it. This poem will be the second poem going into my favorites! The prose was so beautiful! I loved the repetition of her waiting, and also of the images of the leaves! What a magnificent writing style you have! Perhaps yog can tutor me in the art of poetry? :)
Author's Response: Thank you :) I would be happy to help you with your poetry!
Summary: A lament for two lovers who died side by side in the most horrific war in wizarding history.
The title made me cry- which really got me, since I hadn't even started reading it yet! I'm rather jealous of your titles.
Anyways, then I realized from the summary that this must be about Remus and Tonks, so I again cried because that scene in the book was really terrible.
And then I actually read the poem- and I don't know how to put into words how it affected me. Goodness, I can't even critique it because it was so beautiful! Your first poem on MNFF??? You have a gift for poetry, then. :)
Eleanor, I am going to badger you to write more poems, because all the ones I've read are just so gorgeous! Please!!!! I am eager to read more of your poetry. :)
Okay, I suppose that is all. Like I said, this poem was magnificent, and I can't find fault, especially when it touches on such a tragic subject. ~Nagini Riddle
Author's Response: Oh my gosh, I can't believe I didn't see this! Thank you for the lovely review - I've been writing a bit of poetry lately so I plan to post some soon. :) ~Nora
Summary: The vital Battle of Hogwarts is abruptly put to an end by an intruder and an incident. Opening his eyes, Lord Voldemort finds his identity has been obliterated; he is now young Tom Riddle. He and the intruder Bella Reagan, someone he knew so long ago, must find a way to live, survive—but not quite underground.
After much frenzy, the Ministry states that the Dark Lord is gone and continues rounding up many confused, chaotic Death Eaters. Minerva McGonagall, the Headmistress, requires Hogwarts students to repeat their previous year so as to receive competent magical education. So when Harry recognizes Tom Riddle, he believes Lord Voldemort has infiltrated Hogwarts and leads an urgent investigation to find the truth of things.
Tom and Reagan are under scrutiny of the Trio and the professors even as several notorious Death Eaters elude capture and more old acquaintances, by happenstance, are found again. Security must be built by any means, and the opposition’s threats held at bay. There are few people any one can trust.
But it is as if they are looking through a veil, thinking through a veil. There’s a truth in the undercurrent of this unnatural flow of life in the Light, one that can’t seem to get past anyone’s mind. After all, the Light plays tricks, too.
Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling.
Very interesting start. My curiosity has been piqued and I want to keep reading to see where this goes. Good job!
Again, quite interesting. I'm very curious to see how this turns out! Although I do wonder why he didn't show himself to someone who would have recognized him as both Tom riddle and voldemort. I'm sure that there were still loyal death eaters of his that knew him as both...
Can't wait to see what happens next!
Well, I think that you should try to give Riddle more of an edge. He seems too compliant and willing to let Bella control him, so perhaps that needs some more explanation. However, you have a good writing style, and I think if you keep working at it, this story will evolve into a masterpiece. :)
Summary: The Weasley house is always interesting. Enjoy a few select moments from Molly's day.
This was very sweet! I rather enjoyed the simplicity of it. Go Weasleys! The only thing that I thought could be changed was the stanza that mentioned Molly was alone again and wanted school to begin. I think here would be a good place to add some details about Molly feeling overwhelmed by so many kids, but still, she loves them. Also, the way it was worded seemed odd. If Molly is alone, wouldn't she want her kids to be with her so she doesn't feel alone? I realize this isn't what you meant, so you just need to make it a little clearer. Other than that, this was a fun poem to read! It's nice to see that not all poems are dark and dreary. (I only say that because mine are sort of dark and dreary...) Great job! :) ~Nagini Riddle
Summary: What might've happened if Harry hadn't triumphed over Voldemort?
Hmm. First off, I would lower the rating to 3rd-5th yrs. This is nothing against the poem, of course, but I feel that the darkness within it is more a 3rd-5th yr level.
Now to the nitty gritty. *chuckles* I really enjoyed how you incorporated the Unforgivable Curses, along with looking into the future. That was a rather smart way of dealing with the forthcoming darkness.
I also rather liked the "palindrome" element to this poem. It really helped to tie it all together, especially towards the end.
Just one note on diction. You use "look" for when gazing into the crystal ball. I think a stronger word is needed in order to really invoke a sense of darkness and danger. It's up to you, but words like "gaze" "stare" "peer" would all make the statement stronger.
Overall, I rather enjoyed it. Even if it was dark. :) Bring on the darkness! Keep it up. ~Nagini
Author's Response: Thanks for your review, particularly the comments on mood: it's something I'll definitely consider in future :) x
Summary: A poem about the tragic life of Merope Gaunt.
This was a rather interesting summary of what happened to Merope. She has become one of my favorite characters, and I have to say that your poem captured her rather well. :) The simple rhyme scheme actually made sense to use, because Merope is a rather simple character, and I found that the rhyme helped characterize her in that way. I was rather impressed that the rhymes didn't feel all that forced.
In this stanza, though, I think the rhyme could change: Only the baby to keep her alive/Onto London's streets she was whirled/She sold the precious necklace/Which would one day come back to haunt the world. I rather like the ending part, so perhaps if you changed "whirled" to "hurled," it would flow better. However, I really think that it would work better with a different word choice.
There were some points when the rhythm was jagged, like in the second stanza. Perhaps it would better as this: Slaving all day/She never had a chance/She yearned to be free,/Escape this meaningless trance.
Other than that, I really enjoyed this ditty. :) There should always be hope for Merope, because I think she deserved better. Great job! Keep it up! ~Nagini