Penname: Nagini Riddle [Contact]
Real name: Kaylee
Member Since: 04/28/12
Website:
Beta-reader: Yes
Status: Member
Bio:
I love Harry Potter fan fiction, because it allows my imagination to run free!
I probably could be doing something more productive, but since I love to read and write, and hope to be an author one day, this doesn't seem like a whole waste of time!!!!
I love this site so much. It really let's me challenge my mind and see things in a whole new light.
Go fan fiction!!!!!

EDIT: I am a poetry nut! So watch out for all my poetry and you can even check some of my poetry out on Poetry Anyone? in the Beta Forums, if you are able to get an account. :) Also watch out if you write poetry, too! I am sure to review it, and possibly leave behind a critique!

Since I write so much poetry, I thought I would make a list of my actual stories that are on the archives:

Completed:
If I Die Young
His Last Descendant
In the Realms of Jealousy
The Autumn Air
A Darker Nightmare
Vanishing Point
The Ghosts that Follow
The Baby-Sitter
Kill It Before It Dies
The Sight of Her
A Christmas Meal of Snow
The Man of Hogsmeade
Set in Silver Stone
Unfaithful
Pills and Potions
The Purity of the Turf
Pearls Mean Tears
The Ties That Bind
The Full House
Delayed Arrival
Hot Off the Press

WIP:
Murder in the Moonlight

To Follow:
I Stood in the Ruins
Questions (tentative title)
Eclipse of the Heart
Lines in the Sand


Here are all my poems (in order of update):

Poetry
Her Hand
His Only Friend
Mad World
Refusal
Negotiation With Death
An Unexpected Turn
The Coffin Brawl
Wasted Space
One Sweet Night
Life in Technicolor
The Bice Day
Dark Side
The Day the Music Died
Shades of Grey
The Endless Road
The Foulest Creature
The Lone Sentry
If No One Will Listen
Soiled
Just a Diary
Frozen
An Empty Photograph
Moonlight
Death's Horizon
The Canvas Life
The Sun Sets in Paradise
Grand Adage
The Banished Howl
Hear Me
Celestina's Songbook: Summer Lovin'
The Certain Dark
The Cursed Ruin
A Greying View
Silent Ash
Left Behind
Save You
With Silent Wounds
The Snow Globe
A Wintry Lust
Hogsmeade Lights
The Calming
The Possibility
Today I Do Not Want To Be...
Walls
A Brief Star
Beautiful Disaster
Where is Your Heart
Fix You
The Black Rose
A Failing Mission
The Darkest Realm
Godric's Hollow
Halo
Unspeakable
Hidden Mysteries
Salire
The Seasons Change
Petrified Desire
In Anguish
Paradeisos
In Final Minutes
The Wrong Child
For the Man on the Street
Something Better
Faust Arp
The Silver Doe/The Silver Stag
Fallen Leaves
Red is the color of death
Living Shroud
Little Bruno and the Evil Elf
Eternal Ice
For the Hero
Magical
The Frost in Melancholy
It's Christmas Time in Diagon Alley
It Came Upon A Charm So Clear
A Ravenclaw's Blue Christmas
Frēodōm
Corpses of the Shadow and the Night
You Just Wink (First Impressions)
His
In Agony
Killing Me Softly
Separation
Absentia
Don't Let Me Go
Pax Tecum (Peace Be With You)
Casualties
Blind Weakness
The Show Must Go On
A Coming War?
At the Battlefront
No One Can Ever Know
Do you think of me the same?
Into the Forest
A Lesson with Biscuits
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 1
Sacrificium
A Restless Wait
Dawn (Go Away)
The Weird Sisters - B-Sides and Rarities, Vol. 2
Betty
BTSK
on this side of heaven
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Reviews by Nagini Riddle
 

Mind by Lovemagic
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: The vital Battle of Hogwarts is abruptly put to an end by an intruder and an incident. Opening his eyes, Lord Voldemort finds his identity has been obliterated; he is now young Tom Riddle. He and the intruder Bella Reagan, someone he knew so long ago, must find a way to live, survive—but not quite underground.

After much frenzy, the Ministry states that the Dark Lord is gone and continues rounding up many confused, chaotic Death Eaters. Minerva McGonagall, the Headmistress, requires Hogwarts students to repeat their previous year so as to receive competent magical education. So when Harry recognizes Tom Riddle, he believes Lord Voldemort has infiltrated Hogwarts and leads an urgent investigation to find the truth of things.

Tom and Reagan are under scrutiny of the Trio and the professors even as several notorious Death Eaters elude capture and more old acquaintances, by happenstance, are found again. Security must be built by any means, and the opposition’s threats held at bay. There are few people any one can trust.

But it is as if they are looking through a veil, thinking through a veil. There’s a truth in the undercurrent of this unnatural flow of life in the Light, one that can’t seem to get past anyone’s mind. After all, the Light plays tricks, too.

Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling.

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Alternate Universe, Character Death, Sexual Situations, Strong Profanity, Violence

Word count: 10900 Chapters: 3 Completed: No
Published:
05/30/11 Updated: 11/12/11


Reviewer: Nagini Riddle Signed
Date: 04/29/12 Title: Chapter 2: Tricks and Reasoning

Again, quite interesting. I'm very curious to see how this turns out! Although I do wonder why he didn't show himself to someone who would have recognized him as both Tom riddle and voldemort. I'm sure that there were still loyal death eaters of his that knew him as both...
Can't wait to see what happens next!

 
Reviewer: Nagini Riddle Signed
Date: 04/29/12 Title: Chapter 3: Pursuit

Well, I think that you should try to give Riddle more of an edge. He seems too compliant and willing to let Bella control him, so perhaps that needs some more explanation. However, you have a good writing style, and I think if you keep working at it, this story will evolve into a masterpiece. :)

 

Summary: The Weasley house is always interesting. Enjoy a few select moments from Molly's day.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 355 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/02/11 Updated: 06/07/11


Reviewer: Nagini Riddle Signed
Date: 11/23/12 Title: Chapter 1: A Typical Day in the Weasley House

This was very sweet! I rather enjoyed the simplicity of it. Go Weasleys! The only thing that I thought could be changed was the stanza that mentioned Molly was alone again and wanted school to begin. I think here would be a good place to add some details about Molly feeling overwhelmed by so many kids, but still, she loves them. Also, the way it was worded seemed odd. If Molly is alone, wouldn't she want her kids to be with her so she doesn't feel alone? I realize this isn't what you meant, so you just need to make it a little clearer. Other than that, this was a fun poem to read! It's nice to see that not all poems are dark and dreary. (I only say that because mine are sort of dark and dreary...) Great job! :) ~Nagini Riddle

 

Darkness by inspirations
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: What might've happened if Harry hadn't triumphed over Voldemort?

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Character Death, Violence

Word count: 123 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/08/11 Updated: 06/11/11


Reviewer: Nagini Riddle Signed
Date: 11/20/12 Title: Chapter 1: Darkness

Hmm. First off, I would lower the rating to 3rd-5th yrs. This is nothing against the poem, of course, but I feel that the darkness within it is more a 3rd-5th yr level.

Now to the nitty gritty. *chuckles* I really enjoyed how you incorporated the Unforgivable Curses, along with looking into the future. That was a rather smart way of dealing with the forthcoming darkness.

I also rather liked the "palindrome" element to this poem. It really helped to tie it all together, especially towards the end.

Just one note on diction. You use "look" for when gazing into the crystal ball. I think a stronger word is needed in order to really invoke a sense of darkness and danger. It's up to you, but words like "gaze" "stare" "peer" would all make the statement stronger.

Overall, I rather enjoyed it. Even if it was dark. :) Bring on the darkness! Keep it up. ~Nagini

Author's Response: Thanks for your review, particularly the comments on mood: it's something I'll definitely consider in future :) x

 

Hope for Merope by Miss B
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: A poem about the tragic life of Merope Gaunt.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 209 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/08/11 Updated: 06/11/11


Reviewer: Nagini Riddle Signed
Date: 11/20/12 Title: Chapter 1: Hope for Merope

This was a rather interesting summary of what happened to Merope. She has become one of my favorite characters, and I have to say that your poem captured her rather well. :) The simple rhyme scheme actually made sense to use, because Merope is a rather simple character, and I found that the rhyme helped characterize her in that way. I was rather impressed that the rhymes didn't feel all that forced.

In this stanza, though, I think the rhyme could change: Only the baby to keep her alive/Onto London's streets she was whirled/She sold the precious necklace/Which would one day come back to haunt the world. I rather like the ending part, so perhaps if you changed "whirled" to "hurled," it would flow better. However, I really think that it would work better with a different word choice.

There were some points when the rhythm was jagged, like in the second stanza. Perhaps it would better as this: Slaving all day/She never had a chance/She yearned to be free,/Escape this meaningless trance.

Other than that, I really enjoyed this ditty. :) There should always be hope for Merope, because I think she deserved better. Great job! Keep it up! ~Nagini

 

Like a Storm (Flower) by Eleanor Lupin
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: A poem about Ginny Weasley after the Battle of Hogwarts.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 240 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/08/11 Updated: 06/11/11


Reviewer: Nagini Riddle Signed
Date: 10/16/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

First off, I want to say that you had beautiful imagery. My favorite line was "mingle in me like a storm." I love how that ties into your title. :)

Now I want to talk about punctuation. I love that you branched away from the norm. I generally enjoy not using punctuation in poetry, too. However, I think in this case that punctuation would have been better to emphasize some certain points, like in the last stanza when "hope" doesn't stand out. Now, I realize that it could have been done on purpose, to indicate that hope is hidden within everything else and doesn't always surface. It could also indicate that hope is used so many times it has lost its meaning. But I am wondering if perhaps it should be emphasized a little more. It doesn't have to be with punctuation. By simply hitting "enter" and making the word its own stanza would help. That was just something I noticed. Again, it doesn't actually need punctuation. I'm just musing whether it's effective without it or not. I think in some cases it is, like with your first stanza. Each idea is very separate and disconnected, helping to give that illusion of a person trying to take it all in. So, I think you did a very nice job by leaving out cumbersome commas to really help make this piece more jerky in an emotional way.

However, the capitalization threw me off. I think it would have worked better to not use any capitalization. Making the "I" be lowercase would definitely help to emphasize insignificance or feeling detached. Making all the letters be lowercase would also contribute to the sense that the world is not as it seems anymore. Just a thought.

Overall, though, I really did enjoy how emotive this piece was. Pretty raw and simple, cultivating that hollow part in me. :) Good job!

~Nagini Riddle

 

M.I.T.: Haunted House: Dead by Northumbrian
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 22]

Summary:
A haunted house that isn’t haunted, a Muggle fortune teller who can’t actually tell fortunes and the legend of the Cursed Green Pearl! What happens when “the nation’s favourite television ghost-hunters” stumble onto something really magical? What (apart from a mysterious chest, a broken red stiletto and a corpse) lies within the topmost room of the Haunted Tower?

It’s time for the Auror Office’s Muggle Interface Team - Brown, Bones and Beadle - to investigate.

This is Northumbrian of Ravenclaw house writing for the 2011 Mysterious May Challenge in the Great Hall - Extra Credit Prompt

This is one of four mystery stories I wrote for the Challenge. Until now I’ve resisted editing this story as to do so will (I believe) mean that it can’t be judged as part of the challenge (editing after the closing date is cheating). I can’t wait any longer.


Categories: Mystery Genre: Warnings: Mild Profanity

Word count: 19015 Chapters: 5 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/10/11 Updated: 05/06/12


Reviewer: Nagini Riddle Signed
Date: 05/28/12 Title: Chapter 5: The Curse of the Green Pearl

Ooh!!!!!! I love a good mystery! What an awesome story! You sounded like you knew a lot about police work! I'm very impressed with this. I don't know what else to say, really, except that I am never going near cursed objects again!!!!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I’m glad you liked it.
My knowledge of police work is a combination of research and cop-shows.
Again!? When did you last go near a cursed item? :-D
-N-

 

That Silly Boy by voldiegirl
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: A poem about the moments where Lily Evans realized she was falling for James Potter against her better judgement.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 149 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/16/11 Updated: 06/20/11


Reviewer: Nagini Riddle Signed
Date: 10/05/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I have to say that I was rather impressed by the structure you used! :)

Before I stand in awe, there is one note I would like to make: I expected in the last stanza for the first line to read "that dreamy man bent down on one dreamy knee." So what happened? You may want to fix this, unless you feel that it is unnecessary.

Anyways, I absolutely enjoyed seeing Lily's growth in this poem, and the stages of her crush getting worse and worse. Of all the lines, my favorite had to be "and proudly struts to the winner's ring" because it was the line that gave me a mental image of arrogant James Potter strutting about.

I also really enjoyed the emphasis placed on each stanza of the "chosen" words: silly, stupid, crazy, dreamy. These are all words I usually associate with crushes, because it is so true- they are silly and stupid and crazy, but the guy is so... dreamy!!!!!! You captured this so well! Fantastic job.

The rhyme scheme was brilliant for the subject of the poem, because it was slightly goofy, suggesting that James is ridiculous and that Lily is being driven mad by it, but it is a light tone, rather than dark. I'm rambling now... :)

Searching for my silly crush, stupid dream, crazy love, dreamy groom...

~Nagini Riddle

 

Man in the Mask by MJ_Padfoot
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 16]

Summary: Each of us wears a mask. It is invisible to many and visible to some. But what happens to us when we take off the mask? What happens when we’re given a third chance at life to make things right?

Severus Snape has been given this exact opportunity. Since his death, Snape finds himself somewhere stuck between the veil and the Wizarding world. As Snape finds himself moping around his old flat, he has unexpected visitors that change the rest of his existence. Can the trio help Severus? And will he, the man in the mask, revel more of his past?

Categories: Severus/Lily Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 6289 Chapters: 3 Completed: No
Published:
06/19/11 Updated: 10/12/11


Reviewer: Nagini Riddle Signed
Date: 04/30/12 Title: Chapter 2: Phoenix Tears

This was a pretty emotional piece, and I had to force myself not to cry, but I was truly touched. It seemed the perfect way to send someone off into the Great Beyond. I'm glad for what you wrote and it has changed my perception on life, surely.
Keep it up! This is a great story.

Author's Response: For what it's worth, I was crying my eyes out when I wrote this and that's saying something because I never, ever cry when I write no matter what. I don't know how I changed your perception, but thank you. I'm glad that I could "shed some light" on what I believe in. Thank you (again) for the review! ~MJ

 
Reviewer: Nagini Riddle Signed
Date: 04/30/12 Title: Chapter 3: Lily's Request

I wonder what else Snape has to tell Harry! I thought he had told him everything! What a cliff hanger, and now I have to read more!!!!!!

Author's Response: I know! I'm sure that everyone just hates me since I haven't updated for months! BUT don't worry. I'll have an update in by next week. Promise. (And that will happen since I just promised you and I like to keep my readers happy) :) So that update will be in queue no later than May 16, 2012. Deal? Deal. Thank you (again--honestly, you're so great for reviewing every chapter!) for your review!!! ~MJ

 
Reviewer: Nagini Riddle Signed
Date: 04/29/12 Title: Chapter 1: A Mere Memory

I've always been curious as to what happened after the battle, and this all makes sense to me! You have a really great talent for hooking in readers. Can't wait to read more!

Author's Response: Thank you so much! You just made my day!!! Thank you for the review! I'm glad that you like it thus far. ~MJ

 

Xanthe, Interrupted by Equinox Chick
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 5]

Summary: Ten years after her mother's death, Luna Lovegood decides to ask her father what her mother was brewing. Unsatisfied with his reply, she turns to one of his employees, Lavender Brown, and asks for help to investigate the truth.

Lavender is unsure this is a wise course of action, but like Luna, she doesn't quite believe Xenophilius' version of events.

This is Equinox Chick of Hufflepuff and this is my entry in the Mysterious May Great Hall Challenge - prompt Extra Credit.

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling. That shouldn't surprise anyone.

Thank you so much, Gina (Gmariam) for beta'ing this tale and whipping Luna into shape. You are zechadly amazing!

Thank you, Natalie, for suggesting Xanthe's maiden name.

Categories: Mystery Genre: Warnings: Character Death

Word count: 6677 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
06/22/11 Updated: 06/22/11


Reviewer: Nagini Riddle Signed
Date: 05/28/12 Title: Chapter 1: Buttercups

I don't know if her will tell her the truth, but I want to know what illness his wife had that couldn't be treated! Also, I feel like I'm missing something: this is the third fic that has put Lavender as a Werewolf or having been bitten by one- I don't remember that being in the books, but perhaps I missed it. If not, was it in a JKR interview?
Anyways, really well written. My only regret is that Snape did not speak at all! :D

Author's Response: Um, no, I haven't made her a werewolf - that's Neil. Lavender fell from the balcony and Greyback fell with her. He was about to savage her and possibly did claw her, or bite, and was then hit by Hermione and then Trelawney. She's not a werewolf in my story because she was attacked by one that wasn't transformed, (like Bill). Glad you liked the story. I wasn't sure what purpose Snape would have in the story which was why I didn;t include him. It was a Dumbledore McGonagall thing :)

I didn't want to go into details with Xanthe's illness, or make up something Magical, so I imagined that she had cancer or something similar.

Thank you for the review, and especially for this story which hasn#t had many reads or reviews. ~Carole~

 

In Winter in My Head by hestiajones
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 4]

Summary: One of Severus Snape's many nightmares.

Written for the Copycat Challenge, imitating Emily Dickenson's In Winter in My Room.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 243 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/02/11 Updated: 07/02/11


Reviewer: Nagini Riddle Signed
Date: 05/27/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Poetry is poetry, and there are no rules in poetry. In fact, that's the first rule, if you can get past the paradoxical nature of that statement. :)
Anyways, this was one of the most beautiful and agonizing things I've ever read, because it felt like a dream and it captured the emotions just right with its subtle simplicity. You really should consider publishing a lot of your work. No doubt that one day in the future, they will sell The Complete Works of Hestia Jones (Natalie), an it will be a best seller! Flying off the shelves, and filling children's (and adults) dreams by the millisecond. :)

Author's Response: That is the best compliment anyone has EVER paid me. :D While I won't be allowed to publish my fandom-related work, I could write raps and agonising poetry :D:D

 

Harry's Story in verse by XenaTwin
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 3]

Summary: As the title says, it's basically the whole story in Limerick form. Hope you like it.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 375 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/03/11 Updated: 07/16/11


Reviewer: Nagini Riddle Signed
Date: 10/04/12 Title: Chapter 1: Harry's story in verse

Oh limericks. They make things have such a goofy feel to them.

I rather liked how you were able to lay out Harry's life in this poem. It sounds like you had fun, though I'm sure trying to keep the rhythm and rhyme was a hassle.

There are some spots that just didn't flow right with the rhythm. I would reread it out loud and find what I'm talking about, because some lines felt too long, and others felt a little forced. The one stanza that really stood out in this matter was this one:

Some good years he spent learning in bliss
Never knowing that much was amiss
Then year four came along
And it all fell to wrong
Voldemort was back from the abyss


Notice that the last line doesn't fit with rhythm? There is an extra syllable that is causing the line to feel jagged. First, "Voldemort" doesn't seem to fit with the rhythm. This has a "duh duh dun duh duh dun duh duh dun" rhythm, and Voldemort doesn't seem to fit that pattern. You want inflections to dip here and there, because that's what a limerick does. I realize that you have nine syllables for the first two lines and need it for the last one, but the nine syllables used doesn't seem to work. I would change the line to "The Dark Lord did come back from the mist."

Just make sure to read your poems out loud. It is easier then to spot things like punctuation and grammar and rhythm. ;)

Other than that, I had a fun time reading this ditty about Harry! It was light-hearted and a great way to remember the hero.

~Nagini Riddle

 

Severus by Elizabeth P
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 8]

Summary: Harry Potter's presence at Hogwarts is a painful reminder to Severus of what he lost all those years ago.

Categories: Severus/Lily Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1466 Chapters: 1 Completed: No
Published:
07/09/11 Updated: 07/13/11


Reviewer: Nagini Riddle Signed
Date: 05/29/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

It's amazing how when we read the Harry potter book for the first time, we weren't focused on what Snape was thinking. But now I do! And now I know! This was really well written and quite beautiful. Is there more to this story? I think it would be fun to see even more of Snape's thoughts throughout Harry's stay at Hogwarts.

 

Hermione Hates by EatMyPixieDust
Rated: 1st-2nd Years [Reviews - 6]

Summary: Five stanzas to falling in love with Ronald Bilius Weasley.

This is Hermione's POV, starting with the Yule Ball in GoF and following through to the Final Battle in DH. Each stanza fits a different event.

Categories: Poetry Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 147 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/10/11 Updated: 07/16/11


Reviewer: Nagini Riddle Signed
Date: 09/29/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I shall feed you.
I like the contrast between hate and love, though now it's beginning to feel cliche in this world!
Very nice!

 

Almost by Snowlily
Rated: 3rd-5th Years [Reviews - 14]

Summary:

Harry Potter has come to Hogwarts.

But I am waiting for him.

I who loved his mother, detested his father for taking her away from me. I deserved Lily Evans. I gave my word to protect her son. But how shall I stop myself? I want to see a young, helpless James Potter sqirm and writhe under my gaze....

Categories: Severus/Lily Genre: Warnings: None

Word count: 1131 Chapters: 1 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/14/11 Updated: 07/17/11


Reviewer: Nagini Riddle Signed
Date: 05/29/12 Title: Chapter 1: Almost

Sigh, why can't Snape see the quiet nature of Harry? Harry was certainly nothing like James his first year! And yet, as Dumbledore said, Snape sees what he wants to see. I think it's so he doesn't have to dwell too much on Lily, but rather so he can take out his boiled anger on "Potter's son." Good characterization! This was a fun and nostalgic read. :D

Author's Response: Ah, well, Harry seemed pretty quiet then and there. However, we know that he has quite the temper! Hahaha, nope, James and Harry were pretty much nothing alike - except perhaps rationalization? Haha, yes. Very true. Thank you. (Bow)

 

Much More Than A Game by Hypatia
Rated: 6th-7th Years [Reviews - 87]

Summary:
“Lord Voldemort has never had a friend, nor do I believe that he has ever wanted one.”
-Dumbledore, HBP, ch 13

Dumbledore was rarely wrong, only once did Lord Voldemort desire a friend. It started out as only a game, but became so much more…

This is the story of how the teenaged Tom Riddle met a unique individual and slipped from cold indifference, to affection, to friendship, to romance. Discover how even Voldemort’s cold and callow heart was once broken beyond repair. This is for anyone curious about how an imperfect love warped and twisted a corrupt young man into the Dark Lord.

Categories: Other Pairing Genre: Warnings: Abuse, Character Death, Mild Profanity, Sexual Situations, Suicide, Violence

Word count: 106968 Chapters: 29 Completed: Yes
Published:
07/16/11 Updated: 09/29/12


Reviewer: Nagini Riddle Signed
Date: 09/26/12 Title: Chapter 28: Swan Song

I have made it this far. :)
Hmm... I loved the wrench of the daughter! Very nice! And Lydia's anger felt so real.
I do think that some parts moved a little too fast. Like when he sent the death eaters to kill Hadrian and capture Lydia. I think you could have built the suspense slightly more, because I know you are very good at that in your previous chapters. But overall, it was very good! Can't wait for the epilogue! (and the rebirth of Lydia? ;). )

Author's Response: Thanks! I agree that the order to capture Lydia could have been built up more slowly, but since it's all from Tom's perspective, I wanted her death to sort of be a shock, as it was a huge shock for him. Tom really was completely confident that his Death Eaters would follow his simple instructions and ever since he met Lydia there have been ups and downs and she'd always come around and forgiven him before. It really never occured to him that it could all go wrong so quickly and I was trying to force the reader to see it that way too (though, now that I think about it, I guess it does sort of just jump out a bit doesn't it?)

I'm afraid Lydia won't be getting a rebirth (she drew the line at Horcruxes). However, her nephew will at least get mentionned as well as a prophecy.

Thanks for reviewing,
Hypatia

 
Reviewer: Nagini Riddle Signed
Date: 08/31/12 Title: Chapter 26: Queen Sacrifice

Augh!!!!!!!!!
Wow, I absolutely loved our interpretation of how to make a horcrux. No wonder people don't make them.
And then- sigh. Poor Tom. He should have known what he was getting himself into. By the way, how exactly does the locket then end up in the cave later to be stolen by RAB? Will that be revealed later? :)
I really loved it, even if it was short. Keep it up!

Author's Response: Oh good! I actually spent quite a while trying to think of a possible method for creating a Horcrux. It's nice to know that it came across ok. :)

Tom isn't planning on having Lydia keep the locket forever. He's planning on reclaiming it when he returns to Britain (and as the end of his note hints, he plans on then making her the guardian of a different Horcrux.) How Lydia feels about guarding the locket... that may be another matter.

Thanks for reviewing,
Hypatia

 
Reviewer: Nagini Riddle Signed
Date: 09/29/12 Title: Chapter 29: Epilogue

Is this the end????????????????
I only ask that because your story says no next to completed.
Anyways, I love Snape!!!!!! :) Amazing how similar Snape and Riddle were! Both slytherins, both half bloods with pure blood mothers and muggle fathers, both in love (in your story) and lost that love because their ambitions got in the way. Both lost those loves to magical deaths. Sigh. I loved it!
And now it is done. But I really like the prophecy idea you put in! It makes me want to write a story where Lydia survives and becomes the dark lady. *scary music* But I see that is was necessary in order to show how Voldemort could not bear the pain of love.
I wish I could have been inside your head, because I'm quite jealous of this story! :) the characterizations were beautifully done and believable!!!!
Now it's over. What will I do????? Probably fantasize about Tom and Lydia... Or Tom and I...
:)

~Nagini

Author's Response: Sorry Nagini: I completely forgot to check that box. This story is now complete. I might try writing more about Tom and Lydia (or perhaps Hestia) someday, but that will have to be another story for another day. If you ever write the version where Lydia lives, I'd be happy to beta (I've already played around with the idea in my head quite a bit, but for the purposes of this, that breif glimpse in Calypso's pool was all I could manage).

In some ways, I think Tom would almost see Severus as the son that "might have been", even though he was Lydia's nephew and not related to Tom at all. They even both have black eyes.

*sigh* I still can't believe the story is actually complete and over. I mean there were definitely days when I thought I would never be able to connect the current chapter to the epilogue (this was actually written about a year ago) but somehow (and largely due to excellent betas) we got there.

Thank you again for each and every review you've written for this,
Hypatia

 
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