Obessed with the world of HP since I started reading (and they first came out) when I was 11. Hoplessly in love with Ron. Luckily found my own RL Ron and am happily married to him.
The first two chapters were decent...at best. I'm not trying to be pessamistic, or stunt your artistic growth, just constructive critizism, I didn't like how Hermione turned into a mindless, shallow, shopolholic. Thats not her personality at all. And she woulnd NEVER do that to Ron. Ever. And Ginny was just a hermone crazed teen. It was all lust and no love. JK did a fantastic job at establishing love without lust in the series, and you have basically reversed that. Your writing is good, but not for the 4 characters you wrote about. And I dont believe Harry would have gone to a muggle school. Yes, I agree with him wanting to be "Just Harry", but Hogwarts was his home. The only one he ever cared about. He belongs in the wizarding world. He had nothing to go back to in the Muggle world. Anyway, that was all probably harsh, and I do apologize. I just feel that for future writtings, you may want to keeo the characters personalilties more in mind.
Author's Response: Markee - Thanks for the comments - What I'm trying to show is what happens to Harry, Ginny, Ron and Hermione after people are no longer seeking to kill them. After a trumatic event, like a battle, people change and grow, some good, some not so good. Yes, there is lust,(they are teenagers and discovering there is more than just snogging) not just sexual, but a lust to enjoy life. Harry wants more than to be the man that killed Voldemont. He won't get that in the wizarding world. Hermione is discovering her femininity, which complements her brain very nicely. Ron earns his own respect, without Harry or Hermione to help. Ginny leaves the cloistered enviornment of Hogwarts and the Burrow and will find you must be careful of what you wish for. Bottom line, people change. Thanks again, comment make better stories.