I think this is the best-written fic I've read yet. The plot idea is clever and it's execution is excellent. I love the attention to detail and consistency with cannon, as well as the way Teddy's character is developed. It wouldve been relatively easy to create a character either lovable or idiotic, but you managed portray him as a really good young man who made a seriously questionable decision, and make the reader sympathize with him. The only part I'm not convinced of is when Harry lets Teddy use the Portal after hours to watch his parents. I think that Harry's own experience with the mirror of erised would have taught him that that could lead to no good. But overall, excellent :-)
I'm through chapter 4 and I like the story so far, you can stop apologizing for each chapter :-) I love the Harry-has-a-sister premise and I'm curious where you'll take it. I wasn't sure, based on the summary, whether I'd like the twist of her being raised by Snape, but I feel you've developed it well. I think the writing is well done and it's really interesting to read about the events of year Six from a new perspective. I look forward to reading more about Rose's own adventures! I like the part about the Caesar quote (even though I've never read the play).
Author's Response: Thanks! Wanna know a secret? I hadn't read the play either when I wrote this.... I was just looking for a really, really good subplot. :) There you are. Thanks for R & R-ing!
I found this story today and read all six chapters. I really like it, can't wait for more!
I'm really liking this story so far. It's very well-written and, most of all, believable. Ginny is probably my favorite character, so it's great to see something that focuses on her story and develops her character. I love to think that she played a bigger role in the fight than is portrayed in the books. I really like that you've stuck to canon so well and the way you worked with undeveloped plot points like the scream at the wedding. Your descriptions are deep and there's a sadness to the story that brings a lump to my throat - but that's part of how it's so believable; these aren't happy times. That said, as great as your descriptions are, I don't disagree with the reviewers who suggest breaking it up just a bit more. I think there's a balance to be held between descriptions and dialogue, and this piece leans just a little heavily on the description. This is getting long, but one question - if Ginny is at home for the last week of October, then how is she also in Snape's office on Halloween, in the second chapter? I think I must've missed something about the timeline.
Anyway, great story, great writing, keep it up because I'll be watching for the next installment!
I like it. It fits into the canon very well, making it believable. The idea that Hermione would feel sorry for Crookshanks because nobody ever picked him reminds me of how she feels toward house elves when she starts "S.P.E.W." I have one very minor suggestion regarding this passage:
"Yes, well, I know for a fact that everyone needs someone to make them feel special. I remember when I needed a friend, and Harry and Ron were there for me. I want to be there for him, I thought to myself. "
I would move the phrase "I thought to myself" to right up front after the word "yes," because right now starts off sounding as though she is still speaking to the shopkeeper.
Good idea, good story :-)
Author's Response: Thanks! Yea, I just read it over again, and you're totally right. I'm going to change it right now!
Muggle-born Calla thinks she is prepared for life at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. After all, her parents both went to boarding school, so what could be so different?
Calla soon finds out that expectations are never the same as reality, and learns more than she ever thought she would about loyalty, friendship, good and evil.
A/N: This story takes place during the Next Generation era. JKR’s characters have small parts throughout, but are not the main characters. I’m continuing in the alternate universe I began in Snape’s Son.
The rating for most of the story is 3-5th years, with warnings for the end chapters.
I like it! I like how the backstory is revealed little by little, yet things develop quickly enough to stay interesting. I'm wondering why you had Calla sorted into Slytherin, but I'm sure that will play in later. I like her character so far. It was also interesting to see the interaction between the grown-up Harry & Dudley. Keep it up, I look forward to the next chapters!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm so encouraged by good reviews. One of the things I've always liked in the books is the slow change in Dudley's attitude towards Harry after the Dementor incident. I've allowed their relationship to grow a bit as adults based on that. My next chapter has been beta read, so after a few corrections I'll be submitting it.
I like this so far, looking forward to the next chapter!
I love it, great job on the characters! They're very believable. So funny how they call the baby Flipper. And I'd been wondering when they would think to use a patronus! Looking forward to part 2 :-)
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing :) Baby bump names are always adorable. Part 2 is on its way!