Factoring in the time the were together in Paris and closing in on Christmas, they've been together for almost six months. I would assume Charlie's fears are further alleviated.
Author's Response: yes you are correct
Ah, Paris! The city of amour, non?
l0serslikemel0veHP, I don't think the story is over. In fact, it's marked as Completed: No. I don't think there should have been a big fight between them, just a "wait a minute" moment from Harry.
Author's Response: I have just sent in the 6th chapter and I will agree with you. It was very hard to find a way to get them to make up, this is a huge issue. Neither of them truly trust each other, they don't say "well I trust you now, so it's okay." They are both hesitant, even though they both understand the reason for the lie. That doesn't mean Harry has to like it, or accept it, but he understands it. They will have more conflicts coming up... you can't just suddenly trust someone after something like this. I completely agree... it's just hard to write.
For some reason I missed all of the updates after chapter 5, so I'm catching up.
One thing: brown eyes? In chapter 1 you describe "at a pretty girl with raven colored
locks and green eyes" Suddenly, Natalie has brown eyes.
Author's Response: I\'m pretty sure I changed that in the first chapter after I realized how much I had given away. If you go back you\'ll see it says brown now. I know it confused all of you!
Ah, trust. Ginny won't trust Harry, but she's the one who has been keeping a big secret from him. I just discovered this story and I'm only up to Chapter 4, but you're going to have trouble making her worthy of his trust.
Sorry, but my fears that you would have trouble with this have been justified. I wasn't expecting Harry to yell at her or berate her for keeping Natalie from him, but there should have been something along the lines of "How can you worry about trusting me when you are the one who has been keeping a big secret from me?" Trust goes both ways, but so far it's only one way. Pity. The rest of the story is good, but this one point deflates it, badly.
Interesting. Let me guess: the spell transfers some of Harry's life force to Ginny?
Author's Response: Life force? No. Wait and see you crazy kids. Chapter 12 shouldnt take too long, its been submitted, so we shall have to wait and see.
This is the second time Malfoy has gotten the drop on Harry. For a guy who defeated Voldemort and is supposed to be this powerful Auror, he ain't doin' so good. Or is it taht Ginny is his Achilles' Heel? If so, I hope this isn't anyother reason for him to distant himself from her.
So what was the spell Harry cast? Your build up to it implied that it wasn't a regular healing spell.
1) This is the third chapter in a row that I somehow missed. I come here every day to see what's new, but if it wasn't for me ever so often wondering if this (amongst a few others) has been updated and searching for it I wouldn't have read it As it is, it was almost a week after the fact
2)I like it, but doesn't seem to be almost too much a coincidence that they question Pettigrew the very day they are taking Ginny to the Astronomy Tower? What if they had waited one more day? What if they hadn't waited at all?
For a moment there, I expected it to end with her telling him, "Ask me again." Of course, that would have pretty much ended the story right then and there.
Author's Response: Yeah, that would have pretty much ended the story, ah well, onwards to Chapter 7!
Very good, especially the simple act of Harry reaching his hand for her. However, I'm still wondering what was the spell Harry cast in Chapter 11. The build up implied that it wasn't a simple healing charm but something much more, but it has never been addressed. This is a bif plot hole and the longer it isn't addressed the bigger the hole.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. The spell...I can say that all will be revealed, so its not a plot hole, as it will be explained, just be patient, i'm glad you're enjoying it though
The premise is good, but this feels like a draft. For example, one kiss and few sentences from Ginny and Harry gives. Also, from the "(I recommend adding more detail on the evening)" line I infer that you submitted it to a beta reader and didn't remove this line.
Draco? You include the "HBP Spoiler" warning, and everything else follows from HBP. The last we saw of Draco was him fleeing with Snape? Why is he there? Why isn't he being questioned? This is a HUGE plot hole.
Author's Response: Thanks for bringing this to my attention. Yes, it doesn't follow on from HBP very well at this point, and I will edit the story so that it's more realistic (from Harry's POV at least). However, the full story is going to be explained in a later chapter, so I hope this will clear the confusion up. Thank you for your review.
Ginny's not the only one who made a mistake. They are trying to keep Voldemort from knowing that they know about his Horcruxes, but Harry not only mentioned them but also the locket in his letter. Several times in the books JKR mentioned avoiding using the owls or at the very least putting such information in the letters because of how easy it is to intercept the owls.
Oh, you people are going to like this. I've been reading this on another site, and it's one I've been looking forward to each time I check for new stories. One of the better romantic takes on the characters.
Author's Response: Oh, go on! (blushes Weasley red.) It looks like the problems with the que have been resolved, so I will catch you guys up quickly!
As soon as Harry started writing the second letter, I thought , "Uh oh, wanna bet Ron gets Ginny's letter?" A classic farce set up.
Interesting idea, and I hope the second chapter arrives soon.
However, be careful how you format dialogue. The way you posted it, this was a little hard to read. Do not write entire conversations as one paragraph. The general rule is that when the speaker changes, start a new paragraph.
Author's Response: Ya... I'm new at this and I should of been more carefull. Thanks for the tip.
Very nice, especially the "I couldn't leave you again" part. However, the grammatical errors are distracting. At the very least, you need to use a spell checker on this, e.g., the sooner/sonner at the end of this chapter and the fact that confusion is spelled with only one s.
Author's Response: Thanks for the complements, but the other stuff, not needed. I don't mean to sound rude and I hope you don't take that in an offensive way. I realized all those mistakes after it had been approved.
I'm a little ambivalent about this chapter. The story itself is good, but Ginny hasn't seen Harry for months, and the first thing she does when they get back together is leave him for a few week? Obviously, you had to keep them apart for Harry to work out his inner struggle without her around, but it just seems to odd on her part.
Author's Response: It is, that was my point. Neither of them are truly sure about the relationship in chapter 4. I wrote chapter 5 and things will start to make a bit more sense then. I actually don't think anyone will really like the next chapter because I'm not so sure I like it myself, but it's important to the plot. So chapter 5, coming soon, but it's going to be kind of disapointing, I feel. Check it out anyway! The story is about to take off in a totally crazy direction!