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BrokenPromise [Contact]

My Penname is BrokenPromise because that is how I found this Harry Potter.
When I was younger, I saw a trailer for a Harry Potter movie, and it scared me. That day I decided that I would never have anything to do with Harry Potter.
Just before DH1 came out in cinemas, a friend told me that Dumbledore died. I knew a little bit of Potter background and I quite liked Professor Dumbledore, so I asked her who had done it. She showed me the first book and said, "Read it." I read them all within two weeks, and then watched DH1 in the cinema.
Having read all the books and seen all the movies, I started writing a Fanfiction, and then looked for inspiration online. What I found was this archive and all the wonders within. Like many others, I have enjoyed the work on this site. I started writing because I thought I ought to give something back.

I now have some work up! I am working on some more but am having a little bit of a writer's block on a couple of them. I also have some poetry from the beta boards too, which I will eventually post here.

By the way, I would like to thank you if you are reading this and hope that you have enjoyed/ will enjoy my work.

Agony Aunts
Early November Morning
Forget Me Not

Chaptered fics:
How to be Beautiful (In progress)
Red Hair and Yellow Ribbons (In progress)

A Dursley Lament
I saw
If He Had Known
The Final Duel
The Storm
The View From By Your Side

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Stories by BrokenPromise [17]
Favorite Authors [7]
Favorite Stories [11]
BrokenPromise's Favorites [18]
Reviews by BrokenPromise

Birthday Girl by Equinox Chick

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: For Angelina Weasley birthdays were something she'd rather forget. But then George takes her at her word and decides to watch a Quidditch game with Lee instead of spending time with her. So what's a witch to do? She could spend her evening crouched over the accounts ... or perhaps she could crash her favourite haunt and see what transpires.

Disclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling, but I think she'd understand that marriage doesn't mean your life ends with that ring on your finger.

Reviewer: BrokenPromise Signed
Date: 03/24/12 Title: Chapter 1: Birthday Girl

BrokenPromise would like to pay compliments to Madam Carmerta and wishes to express many happy returns.

Roxanne is certainly a chip off the old block, levitating a toilet seat!

Wonderful and realistic, I was wondering if there was going to be more lovey-dovey exchanges between Angelin and Oliver, but I really liked the ending and the concept was brilliant.

Author's Response: Thank youuuuu. My birthday turned out a lot better than I originally thought, and so did Angelina's - heh heh. I didn;t want to write her being unfaithful because i know not every spat means it's over forever, plus I don't think Oliver would act on it.

Thank you so much for all your reviews and support. It means a great deal. ~Carole~

Swear it to the Night by ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •

As Ron arrived at Shell Cottage, he soon came to realise that the things that drove him away were not nearly as important as that which made him want to go back.

Reviewer: BrokenPromise Signed
Date: 03/25/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

This poem is beautiful; I'm jealous of your skill! The rhymes are really good and not cheesy or cliche. The whole poem flows easily and you get a realistic and really good sense of how Ron feels.

Author's Response:


I'm glad you enjoyed the poem. It was remarkably easy to write, even with a character I don't often write. It's nice to know it worked out okay and that you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading!


Not A Date by Gmariam

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: James Potter is alone on his birthday, waiting for his friends to get out of detention. He runs into Lily Evans on the Astronomy Tower and talks her into celebrating with him…even if it's not really a date.
Several months later, they meet again, but things turn out a bit differently this time...
Reviewer: BrokenPromise Signed
Date: 03/27/12 Title: Chapter 1: Not A Date

That left me smiling! It was really sweet and despite it being all dialogue it wasn't difficult to understand as I could just see them talking (I want to call it bickering but it isn't) in my head.

And James is so cheeky and Lily is bad at making excuses and it all fits so well. He's so sweet to take her to Hogsmeade and show her the Map, even if he gets something out of it.

All that's left now is for me to say how well you capture those two. But (I always manage to add one of these into a review somehow), and not that this is very necessary, I wish I knew what Lily had been contemplating and how (not if) James manages to get it out of her...

Author's Response: Thank you so much! I'm glad first of all you were able to follow the dialogue, since I sometimes get reviews saying that's a bit difficult. But I hear it too, and sometimes the other stuff gets in the way when it's just a scene of talking. Yes, James can be cheeky but also caring - and you caught on to Lily making excuses. Really, I can't say for sure what she was upset about, but James was totally right, and I'd like to think she opened up to him in Hogsmeade. Who knows what might happen there. ;) Thank you so much for the review, I really appreciate it! ~Gina :)

Reviewer: BrokenPromise Signed
Date: 03/29/12 Title: Chapter 2: Exactly

This was a really nice follow-up, and the parallels were a very good idea. It was really sweet that it was an actual date this time, and I think I'm converted!

Author's Response: Yay! Converted to James/Lily or dialogue only as a rather odd but compelling way to write a fic? Either one is good. Thanks so much for coming back to read the second part, I really appreciate the lovely review! ~Gina :)

We Could Be Heroes (just for one day) by Equinox Chick

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: 'It takes a lot of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends.'

One evening in his fifth year, James Potter learns that defying his best friend is the right things to do.

This story has been written in honour of James Potter's birthday.

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling, despite the spag bol. I'm also not Gina (gmariam) or Natalie (hestiajones) but both have spurred me on tonight.

Title is nicked from a Bowie song. I'm not him either.
Reviewer: BrokenPromise Signed
Date: 03/28/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Brill as per usual! And the last paragraph sort of helped me comprehend why James would've trusted any of those 3, despite the irony. Realistic too, even the bit where Dumbledore seems to appear out of nowhere, as you explained everything well.

Author's Response: I figured Sirius -in the end - would realise his error and now be concerned that James was also in danger which is what would spur him to go to Dumbledore.

Thank you so much for the review - Carole-

Ricochet by Gmariam

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Two potions. Two plots. Two Marauders. What could possibly go wrong? Only everything--including their lives.

This is Gmariam of Ravenclaw writing for the Great Hall School of Mischief Challenge, Outstanding O.W.L.s.
Reviewer: BrokenPromise Signed
Date: 04/13/12 Title: Chapter 4: Four - The Prestige

Hehehe...You should write a sequel...
My favourite bit was that the teachers didn't believe Sirius...poor Padfoot. And I liked the first chapter's simultaneous plotting. That was very well executed.

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I always think about writing sequels to pranks, but I never do. I doubt that Sirius will be able to top this before the year is out, really. Thanks so much for reading, I really appreciate the review! ~Gina :)

A Lunar Chart by hestiajones

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Remus Lupin as rendered in terms of a meagre lunar chart.

Written for The Sharp Challenge at Poetry Anyone (?).
Reviewer: BrokenPromise Signed
Date: 04/06/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

I really liked the layout with the moon stanza and then the Lupin stanza, because it really helped you understand him better. (I hope that makes sense? I'm not quite sure how to put it.) Beautiful poem, with lots of imagery.

Author's Response: Yes it made sense. :) Glad you liked it. Thanks for reviewing!

Askew by Equinox Chick

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Some people's lives are always ordered, but some people's lives are always askew.

A poem about a Potterverse character written for the Sharp Challenge.
Reviewer: BrokenPromise Signed
Date: 04/06/12 Title: Chapter 1: Askew

Wow. That was...deep. *Gawks at the screen, completely unsure of what to say*

Author's Response: Awwww, thank you. It was all Julia's fault (she's the opaleye and runs Poetry Anyone) because she gives us some great challenges. (You will probably like The Luna Chart by hestiajones if you liked this) Thanks again ~Carole~

Discovering Delirium by The owl

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: At the start of her seventh year, Lily Evans doesn’t know quite what to expect of her new duties as Head Girl. Her only certainty is that Potter will manage to mess them up somehow. However, even she couldn’t have foreseen exactly how much he could mess things up.

James isn’t too worried about being Head Boy. He is more concerned by whether Evans would finally get over herself and see that he really had grown up a bit. However, their shared responsibilities were going to change things more that he knew.
Reviewer: BrokenPromise Signed
Date: 05/20/12 Title: Chapter 1: Discovering Delirium

heehee...that was really cute. a broom closet would not be my idea of their first kiss, but it works despite its unflatteringness. The sort of change of viewpoint was clear and effective. Lily giggling just made my day.
Sorry this is such a short and rubbish review, but it was just a sweet piece.

Author's Response: Awww, thank you :) I don't suppose I would like to think of their first kiss being in a broom cupboard either, but the scenario popped into my head and I couldn't resist. I like giggling!Lily too, and I just hope she didn't seem OOC. A short review is way better than no review at all, so it is much appreciated. -Sophie-

Shadows Deep by Equinox Chick

Rated: Professors •
Summary: Behind the walls of Hogwarts, deep in the shadows, lurk the secrets of the Founders. Of one mind, at first, their legacy came close to crashing down when two locked horns.

With Helga Hufflepuff determined to disband the Houses and admit anyone, Salazar knows he has to keep the other two on side. But Godric is distracted ... and soon Salazar is, too.

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling and I'm not as old as the Founders.

I am, however, Equinox Chick and this is my entry into the School of Mischief Challenge for the Great Hall.

Thank you Natatatatatatatattatatattatatat (hestiajones) for beta'ing this and to Karador (Karaley Dargen) for letting me moan when it collapsed on me.

Winner of the Best Chaptered SSP award in the 2012 QSQ's. Yippeeeee!
Reviewer: BrokenPromise Signed
Date: 04/09/12 Title: Chapter 2: Setting Traps

Well that was unexpected. Aodhan is not as weak and vulnerable as he seemed then...
Looking forward to the wedding scene...*dramatic scene plays out inside head*

Author's Response: No, not vulnerable at all .... Thank youuuuuuuuuu heh heh heh. ~Carole~

Reviewer: BrokenPromise Signed
Date: 04/13/12 Title: Chapter 3: Snared

Hehehe... very sneaky...
I love Edana; she seemed a little bit gullible to begin with too, but as we see more of her we see that she is as powerful as Helga or Rowena. I liked that she was a Legilimens, but it didn't seem like she needed it at all, as I can picture her brother pouring his heart out to her anyway.
Salazar is certainly as cunning as is said. I wonder what he has up his sleeve...(although having read Gina's review I have a good idea...)

Author's Response: Edana is EVILLLL - actually she's not evil, but she's certainly as manipulative as Salazar. Thank you very much for the review. I have one more chapter to go, and then you will see Salazar's 'plans' Mwahahahaha ~Carole~

Reviewer: BrokenPromise Signed
Date: 04/16/12 Title: Chapter 4: Vengeance

Ooooo....Salazar really is nasty,isn't he... But it was kind of him to kill Aodhan while he was distracted. Aodhan was an innocent in the end, because Salazar changed him. And I sort of feel sorry for 'manipulative' Edana, losing her brother.

I think that one of the best things about your writing is the way you weave in little details to add to how believable it is. In this fic, it was Rowena and Helena travelling to Albania. The breeding of the Basilisk was good too, as it offered a different explanation. I'd always assumed that (much like Norbert) it had been brought to Hogwarts as an egg from abroad when Salazar was on his travels.

A bit sad that this is finished now, as I was getting a bit attached to your characters and the whole story in general. Please write more of this era as you are as good at it as all the others! ;)

Author's Response: OOOH, thank you. I really wasn't sure about writing this era because I hadn' before and don;t tend to read Founders era or historical, but for some reason this story wormed its way into my brain.

The Basilisk hatching: well, a Basilisk is born when a hens egg is hatched by a toad, so that's why I included that. I figured hen's eggs didn;t take that long to hatch, and this was a simple way for Salazar of breeding his revenge.

Thank you for following the fic. Greatly appreciated. ~Carole~

Reviewer: BrokenPromise Signed
Date: 04/06/12 Title: Chapter 1: The Bait

This is sounding very very interesting. I'm hooked and I want to know what happens next, but I guess I'll just have to be patient, won't I?

I really like that you've given Salazar a little bit of leeway in Helga wanting to disband the houses, and now Godric getting married. It must be quite a big blow and you can sort of see that he's going through a bit of a tough time.

The character relationships are very interesting and I hope for them to be explored further in subsequent chapters. I especially like how Rowena gave a rather diplomatic response, as it shows that the Founders were not as one-sided as they are often represented, and I think that you will portray them well in a different light.

Aodhan has also been developed well. Founder Era must be different to write, as you will almost always need to create OCs. I think that Aodhan seems a bit naive at the moment, but I reckon this will change soon, or at least if I get what Salazar is on about...

Paitiently waiting,


Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review. It means a great deal that you appreciated this story. My problem, I think with Founders, isn't so much the OC aspect but the era, language and my lack of knowledge. HA! But google is a great help.

This is from Salazar's POV, so he will see the others in a biased light, but yes, I didn;t want it to be a straight SalazarV The Others battle because I don't think the other houses are automatically GOOD, just as not all Slytherins are automatically EVIL. Um, sorry, wittering on there - ha.

The story is completed, and all chapters submitted by the challenge deadline (April 31st) so you won;t have to be too patient. Thanks again. ~Carole~

Until The Very End by Gmariam

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: It was the last time he would see them both, though he did not know it at the time. Instead, Remus Lupin shares a tender moment with Lily Potter and says goodbye to James, promising to fight until the very end.
Reviewer: BrokenPromise Signed
Date: 04/16/12 Title: Chapter 1: Late October, 1981

:( At the end of the first part I felt really down, because I thought that he was going to wake up the next morning and Lily and James would be dead. But the bit with James trusting him and wanting him to look after Lilly and Harry was really sweet. I can imagine James thinking it through a little and deciding that Sirius was too reckless or something like that. I also found the bit where James said he owed Remus and remus denying it very bittersweet as I could almost feel Remus feeling guilty (which James says he feels) about Lily in that part and trying to make silent amends with his conscience about it by saying that his friend doesn't owe him. And then it was the end and I just felt so sad because I knew that in a few days time, Remus would wake up in that shared cottage and find Lily and James dead and Sirius and Harry gone, and he would feel terrible, like he'd failed his friends, especially James, as he was likely to expect that Sirius betrayed them. I wonder how much Dumbledore told him afterwards, because he still seems a bit down in PoA. I loved this because it made me feel so sad for Remus.

Author's Response: It is rather sad, isn't it? The whole idea that Sirius and Remus didn't trust one another at the end is very sad to me. I really want to know more--or want to write more! But one of them said that James would have found it the height of dishonor to mistrust one of his friends, so I do think he trusted them all at the end, even Peter. I think, though, that James didn't switch because he found Sirius reckless. Sirius went into hiding as well: it was like double protection. Someone might go after Sirius, but it wasn't him anyway. I can only imagine how terrible Remus felt. I wrote a story about it a few years ago, but I suspect I'd write it a bit differently after exploring his character more since then. Thank you so much for the review on this one! I really appreciate all your lovely comments on my stories. Thank you! ~Gina :)

Sweet by Equinox Chick

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Susan Bones is always getting mixed up with her best friend, Hannah Abbott. She doesn't know why because not only do they look very different, but their tastes are different, too - even down to the flavours of their lip balm. For sunny, popular Hannah loves to try new things, and Susan stays with the same lip balm she's always known.

But perhaps she should try something new.

Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling.

This story has been written for Lea (mugglegirlmarauder) on the occasion of her birthday. Although she is a Gryffindor here, Pottermore begs to differ and has wisely put her in Hufflepuff.

Thank also to Natalie (hestiajones) for the pairing and the lip balm. I'm not sure the story quite does your inspiration justice :(.
Reviewer: BrokenPromise Signed
Date: 04/10/12 Title: Chapter 1: Lip Balm and Bon-Bons

Awww! I love this! *Nearly crying because it is so 'sweet'*

I really understood this Susan and the lip balm was a really lovely touch. I also felt that it was good that she wasn't good at most subjects because people tend to do that as her aunt Amelia is a high-ranking Ministry Official and also assumed to have been pretty good at everything.

The two best friends couple thing did seem a tiny bit cliche but it worked well enough to get these two together.

I'm also very glad that you showed, no, proved, that Hufflepuffs are not the fandom stereotype. I loved the house-elf touch too, and to be honest, it was very nice to hear about some Ravenclaw guys. Although perhaps I don't hear much about them because I'm not reading the right thing to hear about them.

It's so lovely that two people with 'no sense of humour' can make each other laugh, because it also shows that there is no 'no', just 'different'.

I wonder what else Hortensia Adams had to say about Susan if she said things about Mandy...

Author's Response: first off - THANK YOU for reviewing. I was really ambivalent about this story, but sometimes sweetness and fluff will out. The best friends dating best friends is a touch cliched but I can't see them double dating and in my canon Terry and Hannah don't last that much longer - ha! (The Untrodden Path sort of fits with this)

If you want to read some good Ravenclaw boy fics then I must steer you towards ToBeOrNotToBeAGryffindor, who writes brilliant stories about rather a lot of them.

Frinkle is my own personal house-elf invention that I'm rather fond of, so I'm glad you liked them. I wanted to show that it wasn't just the Gryffs that managed to get into the kitchens, I'm sure the Puffs knew how to get in.

Yes, they both had a sense of humour, it was just cleverer, I think, than Terry and Hannah's.

Mmm, Hortensia's opinions ... maybe Anthony shouldn't pay so much attention - hahhahah.

Thanks again. ~Carole~

Dear Gran by goldensnidget92

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Neville Longbottom's first year at Hogwarts is shown here in letters to his formidable grandmother.

This story was nominated for a Quicksilver Award 2012: Best General Story!
Reviewer: BrokenPromise Signed
Date: 04/18/12 Title: Chapter 1: Dear Gran

Aww...these are really sweet. I loved some of the little details, especially Gran killing Neville's plants and Uncle Algie being an eccentric and the snippet about him being dropped off the pier. You could really tell when Neville was excited, but I think the best bit was when he mentioned his parents. However, I don't think that the bit about accepting his mum's gifts shuld've been a P.S., as it seems a bit more important than that to him in OotP. But it was nice that he wanted his parents to be proud of him. Apart from that, this was really cute and I think that I will probably see Neville in a slightly different light from now on.

Ready For Tomorrow by Gmariam

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Hugo Weasley is about to play his sister for the Quidditch Cup. The night before the match, he goes for a ride out on the Quidditch pitch to clear his head. Instead, he ends up in the Forbidden Forest with one of the last people he would have expected: Scorpius Malfoy, fellow Slytherin and his Quidditch Captain.
Reviewer: BrokenPromise Signed
Date: 04/15/12 Title: Chapter 1: One Shot

I loved the last line! And the Thestrals, although it did set up a sort of 'didn't see that coming' theme. Who did Hugo see die, I wonder?

Was a bit curious about Scugo, and I have to say that this at least was nice to read. The 'house or family' inner conflict was easy to understand and even empathise, and Malfoy using a Slytherin trait as an excuse seems so belivable.

Lastly I will add that the Quidditch was an excellent setting for the story. I'm not entirely sure how Quidditch relaxes people, but it seems to work. Perhaps it's the fresh air or the adrenaline.

Author's Response: Thank you so much for the first review! I'm so glad you satisfied your curiousity and ended up enjoying it. Thank you so much for the compliments. As for who Hugo saw, I have some ideas, but am still working it out in my mind, so I can't really say. Maybe I'll write it someday! Thanks again! ~Gina :)

'i' before 'e' by Equinox Chick

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • Past Featured Story
Summary: Ms A Cadwallader wishes to improve herself and apply for a better job. Unfortunately, despite her impeccable qualifications, she is thwarted by a certain Junior Under Secretary for the Minister of Magic, who has let it be known that basic spelling errors can never be over looked.

This story, written in the style of a series of letters, first appeared in The Battle of the Genres over at the SBBC forum.

I am not JK Rowling. She would probably have been more amusing.

This story is for Minna because it was her birthday and she likes this pairing.

Thank you Natalie for liking the drabble and encouraging me to expand.

Winner of the Best Humour QSQ in 2012 - GOBSMACKED!!!
Reviewer: BrokenPromise Signed
Date: 04/21/12 Title: Chapter 1: Letters

That was really cute! It made me smile. :)
Percy with a roguish side? Well he is a Gryffindor after all! I thought that this was a good idea on how Percy and Audrey met, and the touch about Misuse of Muggle Artefacts was nice. (I've told you about this before somewhere, haven't I?)
And I always have trouble with 'i before e' so I could relate to Audrey a little bit there.

Author's Response: Well, as she points out, the i before e rule can't be followed all the time (weird, ancient, their - etc etc) but Percy is a stickler for the rules. This story was very much a story of fun, so I'm pleased you appreciated the lightness behind it. I possibly used the Misuse of Muggle Artefacts in a story about Arthur - not sure now. Thank you for reviewing. ~Carole~

The Prefects' Bathroom by The owl

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: The Prefects' bathroom is one of the many privileges available to Lily Evans and James Potter in their final year at Hogwarts. They certainly take full advantage of it in good times and bad. However, in the bad times, they find themselves needing the retreat it provides more than ever.
Reviewer: BrokenPromise Signed
Date: 06/04/12 Title: Chapter 1: The Prefects' Bathroom

“The diving board certainly suggests otherwise.”
This bit made me giggle. Actually, the majority of the first section did. Especially the corruptible Hufflepuffs. You certainly made Lily less of an angel in this. Perhaps the reason the Founders didn’t make separate bathrooms was so that the Prefects didn’t make out in the corridors: they are supposed to be role models after all.
I think that the separation of the sections was well executed. Much better than I could’ve done, anyway.
The shorter sections are sensitive, and they made me feel quite sorry for James.
The last section sort of brought the whole fic full circle, back to a little bit of a lighter subject matter and the humour of what goes on in the Prefect’s bathroom.
So ends my extremely inadequate review, BP

Author's Response: Not inadequate at all, honey! Any author loves a good review, and you've clearly put some thought into this. The fact that you think my story is worth giving so much thought is a great complement. I'm glad you felt sorry for James. He is portrayed as an insensitive a*** (pardon my French - it seems to be the most appropriate word) a lot of the time, so I quite like being able to make people see him in a different light.

I really struggled over the diving board line. It went through several different incarnations, and none of them involved the diving board until my last draft. It was one of the only lines in the first section that changed at all from my first draft. I wrote the first bit before I got Sorted, so I feel a bit bad about the Hufflepuff line now, but I'm still glad it amused you. I had a lot of fun writing it. Thank you so much for reviewing. TTFN


Enterprising Young Men by Equinox Chick

Rated: 1st-2nd Years • Past Featured Story
Summary: Fred and George make their way through life with purpose and passion, fearing nothing.

This prose poem was written for the Random Song Challenge in Poetry Anyone? It came second!!!!!

Thank you Julia for setting such inspiring challenges.

Disclaimer: I'm not JK Rowling.

To my delight and surprise, this poem won the 2012 QSQ for Best Poetry. Thank youuu.
Reviewer: BrokenPromise Signed
Date: 06/05/12 Title: Chapter 1: Enterprising Young Men

Oh my word, that's so sad! I think I read it too quickly, but it really hit me, especially those last two lines.

One young forever; one young no longer.

Your writing is so emotive. I'm a bit sad now...:(

Author's Response: OH, sorry to leave you sad. :( It made me rather sad when I wrote it because I always feel so sad for George and Fred, too, for missing out on so much. Thank you for the review ~Carole~