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Reviews by kheldar

A Most Auspicious Mistake by Acacia Carter

Rated: 6th-7th Years • Past Featured Story
Summary: Percy has every procedure, every regulation, perfectly memorized. He knows the precise difference in rank between a Persian Justicar and an American Senator. The annual international conference he organizes goes off each year without a hitch. He has everything under control. This is, perhaps, the reason why Percy is so out of sorts when he wakes up next to a beautiful woman and hasn't the slightest idea what to do next.

This is AcaciaCarter of Hufflepuff, writing for the Great Hall Cotillion of 2012.

Reviewer: kheldar Signed
Date: 02/29/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Nice job! It's nice to see someone finally get the best of Percy.

The Clean Beginning by Boblet

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: The day after the Battle of Hogwarts, Hermione ties up a few thousand loose ends. She and Ron have a much-needed bath. And the world resumes turning on its wobbly axis.
Reviewer: kheldar Signed
Date: 03/29/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Great job! I really like your characterizations of Ron and Hermione - they seem very true. There are a lot of "after the Battle" fics out there, but yours is a cut above the rest! I hope you keep writing more in this vein!

Molly and her Daughter by Northumbrian

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: A story about Ginny's school days, and the relationship between a mother and her daughter.
Reviewer: kheldar Signed
Date: 04/01/12 Title: Chapter 1: Ron Writes

It's always a pleasant surprise to see a new story from you that we weren't expecting! Well done, as always. You're adding so much texture and richness to the wizarding world, and I can't wait to see what you come up with next!

Author's Response: Thank you.
This one surprised me, too. The next chapter of Strangers is ready to be beta read and Hunters and Prey is in the queue. After that? Moons, possibly. This is as far back in time as I've ever gone. 1991 the year of the Philosopher's Stone.

Dumbledore's Army - Still Flying by Karaley Dargen, muggle girl marauder, minnabird, the opaleye

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Life at Hogwarts is all but cheerful under the Carrows' reign. One of the changes that hurts the students worst, some even worse than torture, is the ban on Quidditch. Dumbledore's Army wouldn't be themselves, though, if they didn't find a way to bring some life back to the castle, even if it only lasts a couple of hours. But can even the best of matches wipe away mistrust and resentment?

This story was written by the Incaff Military Athletic Division for the 2011 Quidditch World Cup on the Beta Boards. It won, too! Our alternate was hestiajones.

Many thanks to the referees, who set this wonderfully inspiring prompt that gave us weeks of drabbling-frenzied fun. The prompt for this match was:

"One Last Match: When Harry was on his extended camping trip, I don’t think his thoughts extended much to Quidditch, but for those at Hogwarts it did. Under the new regime, however, the sport was banned. For the pupils at Hogwarts, this became a focal point of rebellion. They decide to play one last match, an inter-house match, in the spirit of Dumbledore’s Army. The two teams will not be from one house but a mixture."

Reviewer: kheldar Signed
Date: 03/23/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Pretty good! I really like the thought of the DA organizing a Quidditch match, as I imagine that the season being cancelled would have been one of the worst changes to life at Hogwarts that the Carrows made (not counting the torture, of course). Excited for the next chapter, keep it up!

Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review! The second (and final) chapter is up now. Hope you enjoy it!

Letters Home by RavenclawHeadGirl

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Lily Luna Potter's letters home during her first week at Hogwarts. Letters come from Harry and Ginny, Ron and Hermione, Bill and Fleur, and George Angelina and Roxanne.
Reviewer: kheldar Signed
Date: 05/11/12 Title: Chapter 1: Chapter 1

Very cute! I always enjoy "letter" stories, it's a fun way to get to know the characters. Planning on writing any more, or just the first week?

Author's Response: Thanks so much! I love reading letter stories too, but writing them is hard! I'm pretty sure I'm only doing Lily's first week but I'm thinking about other letter fics, most likely not next-gen. -RavenclawHeadGirl :)

Hogwarts: A History by noblefate

Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: History remembers the winners, but who remembers the losers? Everything in Hogwarts tells a story. At Hogwarts, Quidditch is as important as the classes; the Quidditch Cup lists the winning teams, but the bench in the changing room is a memorial to the losing teams.

This is noblefate of Ravenclaw writing for the Great Hall Illustration for Inspiration challenge.
This story won second place in the Great Hall Illustration for Inspiration challenge.

This story was nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill award.
Reviewer: kheldar Signed
Date: 05/15/12 Title: Chapter 1: Hogwarts: A History

I really liked this! I like to imagine that with the casual indifference to graffiti that students have, most of Hogwarts probably carries with it engraved snippets of history that are probably really interesting!

Author's Response: Thank you for the review. I imagine Hogwarts is filled with graffiti in little places that students find (like the passage behind the tapestry) where professors won't automatically magic it away. I think the graffiti at Hogwarts would be a fascinating read. I'm glad you liked the story. ~ Megan

Brown by Northumbrian

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Lavender Brown is not the easiest of people to get along with. Mark has managed to overcome the first hurdle, she has finally agreed that they are going out together. Now Mark faces another challenge.
Reviewer: kheldar Signed
Date: 06/05/12 Title: Chapter 2: Rye

Terrific, as usual! Mark is such a fantastic original character, he (along with nearly all of your other OCs) really feels like a part of the world. I'll never cease to be amazed at your skill in weaving all of your stories together. Someday when you finally finish this epic tale (though I hope you have many years of writing still to come) you'll have to share your timeline with us - it must be a work of beauty!

Author's Response: Thank you.
Mark, and Fenella and Polly and a few others (even old Auror Webb) are certainly beginning to appear in the background a lot. My timeline changes when I realise (or more often an eagle eyed reviewer) spots a mistake I've made. Parvati wasn't married in the original version of After Breakfast. Certain things are fixed, others I change, but that's the joy of using a spreadheet.
It's probably as cluttered and confused as my brain.

Reviewer: kheldar Signed
Date: 06/14/12 Title: Chapter 3: Appledore

Given Lavender's currently extremely precarious situation in H&P, it's nice to see her in a more domestic and happy setting! Hooray for Mark managing to survive his first meeting with his girlfriend's parents - always a moderately terrifying encounter at the best of times, and he wasn't even dressed for it!

Author's Response: Thanks for the review.
Lavender's precarious position in H&P is in 2000, this story takes place in 2005, which rather spoils the tension, doesn't it? There is nothing more terrifying than meeting your girlfriend's parents. :-)

Seven Simple Years by HalfASlug

Rated: 6th-7th Years • Past Featured Story
Summary: The story of Ron and Hermione through a series of missing moments. Who said love was simple?
Reviewer: kheldar Signed
Date: 12/26/12 Title: Chapter 14: Broken

What a great Christmas present this was, HalfASlug! Granted, it was a bit of a downer, but we know it ends up happy so it's not hard to enjoy some wallowing.

I was particularly struck by Hermione's observations about Harry's brokenness. The saga is Harry's story, so we get everything from his perspective, but sometimes it takes an outside view to really crystallize a point - that point being that Harry is really at an emotional rock-bottom after Christmas of '97, but Hermione doesn't have the emotional strength to do anything more than not leave him.

Have a happy Boxing Day!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing as ever :) Merry Christmas (boxing day, new years... whatever day you read this) to you too! Yeah, angst isn't the most festive thing but I'm just working with what JKR gave me. The first time I read DH I remember feeling completely helpless at that part because without his wand, his mentor and one of his best friends, how was Harry meant to do this? So I just gave all that to Hermione really. Anyway, thanks for reading again :)

Reviewer: kheldar Signed
Date: 09/11/12 Title: Chapter 5: The One In Which Neither Are In Love

I really love the poignant way in which you write the tension and angst between Ron and Hermione, that is super frustrating but ultimately still very friendly. I've read a lot of fics that will spend what feels like 80,000 words covering what you covered in this chapter, but which don't come even remotely close to unpacking their relationship nearly as well. You have such a gift for these missing moments as well!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing again :) The UST is pretty unbearable at times. Thank you for the kind words and the next chapter should be along shortly :)

Reviewer: kheldar Signed
Date: 11/02/12 Title: Chapter 10: Shades of Lavender: Through the Mist

This is all really excellent, as usual, and is a superb missing moments look at one of my favorite parts of the whole series, so well done! Honestly, if I had to choose a favorite part of this chapter (which is not easy!) I would say the banter between Harry and Ron at the beginning - it's hilarious and wonderful!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing :) So you're saying this chapter got progressively worse? Haha, anyway, thank you! It's nice to know people are enjoying Harry, even though he only says about three things in this story :)

Reviewer: kheldar Signed
Date: 11/19/12 Title: Chapter 11: Shades of Lavender: Transparent

Gah! At the risk of gushing like a fanboy, I'm just love everything of yours that I've read, and this story most of all. I think it's probably one of the best missing-moments stories out there - I'm seriously considering starting a petition to get you to write missing moments for the whole saga. You didn't have anything else to do, right?

Love the chess match, by the way - particularly the thought of Ron ambushing Hermione by letting her think that she would finally win in the midst of his utter distraction, and still pulling out a win at the last minute.

And now the debate - do I read the rest of this on FF.net, or do I draw out the enjoyment by reading it as it comes here on MNFF? The agony of choice!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing again! In case you hadn't already noticed, compliments tend to make me awkward and I'm kind of on the floor dribbling right now. Take this as a massive thank you. If you are willing to pay me and this doesn't break any laws, then yeah, sure! Well, if you can resist, then remaining chapters on FF.net are riddling with even more mistakes (I think was allergic to commas when I first wrote it) than this version and will be tidied up a bit for when they are put here. But it is your choice. Either way, they end up together *SPOILER ALERT*

Reviewer: kheldar Signed
Date: 10/11/12 Title: Chapter 7: The Truth, Brains and Other Things that Hit Ron

This is truly wonderful and quite up to your high standard. I find it amazing how you've distilled this story into just a few missing moments that add so much depth to the overall saga.

I think you right for Ron brilliantly, which is something I don't think many people get right - balancing the angst and sense of worthlessness with his sense of humor and good heart. Also, clever pointing out Ron starting to shave - the characters getting older certainly happens in the books, but its never really discussed so much as happens organically and off the page, so this added a lot to both Ron, and Hermione for noticing and for what she thought about it.

Finally, I loved the idea with the brain! Very clever!

Keep it up!

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing again :) Yeah, the ageing thing is done very subtly in the books but I wanted to add a that moment that I think everyone has at some point when they wake up and are like "Oh my-- I'm HOW old?" The brain thing was sort of inspired by the line in the book where Madam Pomfrey says something about thoughts leaving more damage. Anyway, I'm glad you liked this chapter!

Reviewer: kheldar Signed
Date: 01/17/13 Title: Chapter 18: Nineteen Minutes Later

Brava, brava, bravissima! This was, really, a perfect ending to what is without a doubt one of the best, most canonical fanfics I've ever read. It was so incredibly cathartic, and I think it was really clever of you to tell this last bit of the story from Harry's perspective.

I feel like this little epilogue of yours almost gives more closure than Nineteen Years Later does - no, scratch that, it definitely gives more closure! Are you sure you aren't JKR?

Ok, so now you've done Nineteen Minutes Later and Nineteen Days Later. Jo has given us Nineteen Years Later. Feeling up to writing Nineteen Hours, Nineteen Weeks, and Nineteen Months Later? You are? Oh, good!

Really well done!

Author's Response: Thank you, thank you, thank you, haha! The only reason it's from Harry's is that there are an even number of Ron and Hermione POVs in this and I didn't want to show favouritism. Haha, what? Nineteen Years Later has babies and marriage. Nothing says closure like babies and marriage. But yeah, I am about 89% certain that I am not JKR. Haha, surely it's her turn to do a Nineteen --- Later thing? I make no promises, but never say never :) And thank you for reviewing every single chapter (I think anyway) :)

Reviewer: kheldar Signed
Date: 01/01/13 Title: Chapter 15: Road to Redemption

What a fantastic New Year's gift! You know, sometimes missing moments stories are just fun ways to imagine what happened in the vast amount of time off-page in the Books, but I believe your stories, particularly this one, go beyond that. I feel like I actually gain a much deeper understanding of these characters and their relationships.

I stand in awe of your insights into Ron's and Hermione's characters.

I'm a fan of your recovery trajectory for Hermione's following her torture at Bellatrix's hands. She's clearly shaken and scarred by it, but she's not rendered completely incapacitated by it. And you clearly made the right choice by having Luna point out Hermione's "Thinking of Ron" face - those two paired up is always a win.

Finally, totally in love with your origins of names: Fred and George after Fabian and Gideon, Hugo coming from what Hermione's would have been, etc.

Well done!

Author's Response: Thank you for reading and reviewing again! Haha, sorry about the lack of bow on the present. Thank you so much for saying that. I've spent too much time thinking about all things Potter since I was 7 so it's nice to to know it's been worth it, haha. Yeah, in the books she seems to keep herself together afterwards so I sort of went with that because she is a strong person. Hermione V Luna is always amazing in the books. I'm glad you enjoyed this one :)

Reviewer: kheldar Signed
Date: 10/24/12 Title: Chapter 9: Shades of Lavender: Opaque

Wonderful, as always! I love how, through Mrs. Granger, you show that Hermione, who is normally always right, is really just as clueless as Ron is when it comes to their 'relationship' and how to handle it. Oh, if only Harry had locked them in a cupboard and refused to release them until they figured it out!

I really want a Zonko's stress doll, it sounds perfect.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing again :) Yeah, this and Quidditch are the only times Hermione is out of her depth and because she is so insecure and uncertain, she can't see what everyone can. Harry and his lack of cupboard locking in... It would have solved everything! Haha, they're available from all good magical joke shops!

Reviewer: kheldar Signed
Date: 01/07/13 Title: Chapter 16: The Final Battle -- Part One

How do I love this, let me count the ways!

Ok, first of all, the "second in command" "now that our only hope just walked out, we sort of expected you two to take charge" bit was hilarious. And perfectly fitting, really, because I imagine that the DA and everyone on the periphery of what those three were doing would view Ron and Hermione as, if not Harry's equals, then at the very least his more than capable lieutenants (a position of honor, I should think, quite unlike sidekicks).

Hooray for Ron finally getting one over on Hermione! That was such a brilliant turn-of-the-tables, and I loved the way you had Ron's "I'm thinking of an extremely clever plan and am at least 10 steps ahead" behavior mimic's Hermione's, and her recognition that that must have been what Harry and Ron normally felt like. Genius! I always knew Ron had it in him - anyone as good at chess as he is has to be smart. His "Chess Face" is as a harbinger of doom for his enemies.

Finally, I happened to be alone and in a dark room when I read this (I'm not as lame as that makes me sound, I promise), and the whispering voices in the Chamber seriously creeped me out. So thanks for that.

All and all, extremely well done! Can't wait for The Final Battle Part 2, but I hope that's not the end of this just yet!

Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing again! I just needed one last Fred and George moment in my life. Yes! I completely agree. To everyone else Ron and Hermione probably had some mystique about them because they were Harry's best friends. I'm really glad that you liked that bit! It was such fun to write. It was Ron's moment of glory after all and it was about time Hermione learnt how it felt to be on the other side of a genius plan. Haha, I'll believe you. I'm sorry. I'll give a warning next time or something perhaps. Thank you! Part 2 shouldn't be too far away. After that there is only one, epilogue-y type chapter left, I'm afraid. Hope they don't disappoint!

Reviewer: kheldar Signed
Date: 10/18/12 Title: Chapter 8: Shades of Lavender: Translucent

This is marvelous! Each section is wonderful, and as usual I think you're writing of Ron is spot-on - not many fanfic writers manage that. Keep it up!

Author's Response: Thank you again for reviewing! There isn't a whole lot of Ron in the next chapter, I'm afraid but hopefully you'll still enjoy it :)

Reviewer: kheldar Signed
Date: 01/09/13 Title: Chapter 17: The Final Battle -- Part Two

Ok, calling this excellent might be the understatement of the millennium. I've said it before, and I'll say it again - if you don't write the missing moments for the entirety of the Harry Potter Saga, it must be some kind of crime!

"Cease Fire" was gripping and soul-crushing and utterly sad. The pain that Ron, Hermione, Ginny, and the rest of the Weasleys were feeling was palpable to me as the reader, and combined with that was a looming sense of dread because I knew where Harry was and they didn't...yet. I like how you got Ginny outside, particularly, I had always wondered what she was doing out there.

For as sad as "Cease Fire" was, and I won't deny that I shed a tear, "A the Ravenclaw Table" filled me with such joy! Yes, there was still sadness, like the litany of those who had died against those who hadn't, and Ginny refusing to break down in front of her brothers, but doing so as soon as they were gone. The moment between Ron and Mr. Weasley was a real tear-jerker too. But Ron and Hermione! YES! It was perfect. Just...perfect. Leave it to Harry to bollocks it up, right?

Very very well done indeed, HalfASlug! Can't wait for the epilogue, and LITERALLY ALL FUTURE HP FANFICS YOU WILL WRITE. That wasn't coming on too strong, was it?


Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing as ever! Casually going to point out there has only been 13 complete years of this millennium but the compliment is still very much appreciated :). Haha, if I could then I probably would! Cease Fire took forever to get right so it's nice to hear that it was worth it. It always bugged me too. And how did McGonagall get there first? Life's great mysteries. Yeah, it's weird writing the happy moment we've all been waiting for right after so many people died. It was never going to be a wholly happy moment but it's still them two getting together :). Yep, Captain Cockblock at his best. And thank you for using the titles! No one ever does. Thank you! Epilogue shouldn't be too far away. And no. Enthusiasm is always appreciated and I just hope I don't disappoint :)

We Must Not Sink Beneath Our Anguish, But Battle On by The Last Marauder

Rated: 3rd-5th Years •
Summary: Think the first time Lupin saw Harry since he was a baby was on that eventful train journey in Prisoner of Azkaban? Well, you're wrong, they met once before, when Harry was very small. And it was this first encounter that helped Lupin realise that we must not sink beneath our anguish, but battle on.
Reviewer: kheldar Signed
Date: 06/27/12 Title: Chapter 2: Chapter 2 - Despair

This chapter is so wonderful - I genuinely cried, and not very many fanfics have managed to make that happen. I particularly like the revelation of Moody's feelings about Lupin. And while I don't know if it was a dream or a vision halfway between the real world and the afterlife, the scene in Harry's cupboard was truly gut-wrenching. It's actually surprisingly glossed-over in the books, because Harry seems to be so well-adjusted despite his awful childhood, but his treatment by the Dursleys was neglectful to the point of torture. Very very well done.

Author's Response: Thank you so much. I am so glad you liked it and that you found it moving (that was what I was going for!). I am also glad you liked the friendship between Lupin and Moody. I figured that since they were both in the Order, and since Lupin lost all his friends in a single night, the likes of Moody and Dumbledore would look out for him and make sure he is alright. So I just went with a friendship between Moody and Lupin, just because for me it just felt like it worked and that it could have been what actually happened.

I am glad you liked the vision/dream bit. I know what you mean about it being glossed over in the books, but it kinda had to be done like that because Philosopher's Stone was written for children and you can't really explore cruelty like that in a book designed for 11 year olds. The idea for this fic just came out of a desire to capture how truly dreadful Harry's early years in Privet Drive were, that and I figured that at some point Lupin or Dumbledore or someone may have checked up on him secretly, especially since Lupin had such a lovely 12 years between the deaths of Lily and James and his job at Hogwarts, and so this fic came into being.

I am so glad you liked it. I'll have the final chapter where Lupin sees Harry up as soon as I can! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing - I really appreciate it :)