My name is Geoff, and I'm too old-fashioned to have a Facebook page, so what you see here is what you get.
I came late enough to Harry Potter that I never had to wait for the next book to come out. Still, Harry isn't Bertie Wooster: he has but one real story to tell, and the day came when it had been told in full. It turns out, though, that hijacking the characters and settings, trying to recapture the elusive feel that made the originals so successful, is a lot more challenging and fun than I expected it to be.
I'm a complete amateur at this: my real job doesn't involve literature, publishing, or popular entertainment of any kind.
If you make it to the end of any of my stories, please consider leaving a review.
Samuel Radley is a wizard born without magic. Coming from a family with generations of witches and wizards, his brother Adrian has never really understood why Samuel has been left without, especially when there are others, with no magical blood at all, who somehow find themselves able to do magic. As he enters his fourth year at Hogwarts, it seems that the Ministry are finally starting to do something about this imbalance and Adrian couldn't be happier. All around him however, there is resistance to the new laws, and suddenly Adrian finds himself an outsider in his class and abandoned by his friends, when all he's ever done is love his family.
This is coolh5000 of Slytherin writing in the Great Hall chaptered challenge, for the Phoenix Rising prompt.
Great start to a story with an excellent premise. The striking moment is that reaction when Theia sees the Muggle family: a shot of pure jealous hatred, from someone who might have thought she didn't have a jealous bone in her body. Dramatic emotion, yet it rings completely true. You didn't really even need to pursue it: by the end of that first paragraph ("How does it happen?") we already have all we need to know for now.
One criticism: you have a few viewpoint changes in this prologue, and I'm left wondering who the rest of the story is going to be about. Theia? Adrian? Or Samuel himself? I guess the next chapter will clear this up.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review :) I've had similar feedback about overdoing it a bit in the prologue so perhaps I need to go back and revise parts of it. This was always going to be Adrian's story, but I wanted to separate the prologue a bit and decided to make it more of a multi-pov to give the reader an introduction to all of the characters. I hope you'll continue reading! ~coolh5000
Summary: The year is 1543, and the heir to the Malfoy estate, Lucius, encounters the young Lady Elizabeth Tudor in the grounds of Hatfield House. It is a meeting, he later discovers, of his mother's engineering, for it is of the utmost importance that he strikes up a friendship with the King's daughter. But the Lady Elizabeth has a powerful protector in her governess, and only the highest political machinations can overcome the will of Kat Champernowne.
In the ensuing Tudor power struggle, no one factored love into the equation, least of all Elizabeth.
Disclaimer: I am not JK Rowling, but I think you know that by now.
This is Equinox Chick with her fourth entry for The Great Hall Cotillion.
I like it. I don't know whether you could get away with sending Elizabeth to Hogwarts, but if not, I'm sure you have something just as interesting planned for her. How long is this story going to be?
One quibble: the year is 1643? Surely you mean 1543?
Author's Response: AGHH! Yes, I do mean 1543 - thank you so much for pointing that out! I have all the dates on my timeline in front of me then muck up when it comes to the summary - hahahaha. Thank you so much for the review. I know you're an excellent historical writer so I hope the rest of the story passes muster. Hmm, Elizabeth at Hogwarts would be interesting, but, alas there's too much data for her being around during her teens to make it feasible. Okay, this story is for a challenge, so it has to be under 15K, so I'm working on around the 5 chapter mark. However, I'm becoming increasingly fascinated by the Tudors (which I hadn;t really looked at since school) so there's a strong chance that this will be the first part of a story about her.
Thank you so much for the review and for pointing out my ridiculous error!