I liked the development of Percy here - going from uptight and particular to warm (yet still Percy!), though I feel I should have guessed earlier that the Miss Cadwallader was in fact Audrey!
Made me smile :)
Author's Response: Ahhh, I didn't want you to guess who she was straight away - hee. Thank you very much for the review. It's much appreciated. ~Carole~
I have read (and reviewed!) this before, however after noting you'd won a QSQ for it I thought I'd re-read it as I remembered enjoying it.
I never noticed this line before, but something about it really got me. I can't really explain it! 'PPS: I am reliably informed by my youngest brother that ‘friendship’ is a very good basis for ... more.' Maybe it's the unexpected Romione reference, but I love it! It's also nice to see a snippet of their relationship from Percy's point of view. I'm probably not making much sense, and for that I apologise. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love that line, and this story.
Author's Response: Ha ha ha - I'm so glad you liked that line as no one else seems to have picked up on it and I rather liked the idea that Percy and Ron were back on good talking terms. Whether Percy actually asked for Ron's advice or Percy overheard him is open to interpretation, but it made me giggle.
Thank you so much for the extra review - much appreciated. ~Carole~
My mother always called me the good daughter (and I was good, perhaps too much so).
I was perfect (except I wasn’t, really).
I was flawless in every way but one.
Based off of the drabble I wrote for the SBBC Battle of the Genres challenge (it won first place). Thank you to the elves for such a lovely challenge!
Nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill Award - Best Same Sex Pairing.
I adore your style of writing, the use of italics as speech works perfectly, and makes it seem like a memory she's so vividly replaying in her head. The beautiful simplicity of your words is heartbreaking, lines such as 'we were not a whisper, but a plea' are so powerful, and really stuck with me.
I found the almost repetitive nature of it to be almost entrancing, and it really got the message across, particularly the repetition of names, which for me connoted how important identity was for her, and how close she was to losing her's altogether.
I found this encapsulated so many emotions, yet most pertinently it was heartbreakingly powerful, and I liked how you didn't shy away from giving it an emotional, somewhat ambiguous ending.
Author's Response: Thank you for this review! It makes me very flattered to hear that you like my writing style, and I'm even more happy that you thought it worked well for Elladora's story. I am glad that you enjoyed the story - nothing makes me feel better than that. xx Ariana
This was... wow. The second person perspective gave it such depth, and the pace of it was perfect, I imagined it to mirror her heartbeat, constantly pounding until the final lines when it slows down. Truly heartbreaking, and if it wasn't for the fact we know what happens next I honestly think this would break my heart irreparably. Ginny is perfect, knows Harry better than he knows himself, which is exactly how I've always seen her. Really this was superb!
Author's Response: Thank you! I always felt that JKR intended Ginny to know Harry better than he knew himself. No girl would be a good enough match for him if she couldn't read him so well. I'm glad the pacing came through; I saw the whole evening as flying by so quickly that only the frightful moments (like Fred's death, clearing the battlefield, and so on) were ones that made Ginny stop and take notice. And Harry's death - even for the short time he's "dead" - kills her. I saw that moment as the end of her world, even though we know it turns out all right in the end. ~Megan
Your insight into the characters is dead on, you managed to write Remus and Molly exactly how they were intended to be. This was perfect for me, it encapsulated Remus' self deprecating nature, and allowed him to (with Molly's prodding), actually take time to consider the realities of his love for Tonks. Far too many fics have him instantly realise his mistake and rush head on into a relationship with her, which to an extent is true, but Remus is a man of thought, every action is planned and thought out, and you allowed him this adjustment period. Beautifully written, understated romance; perfect.
Author's Response: Thank you for the lovely review! I'm tickled that you enjoyed the story so much. I too feel that some stories have Remus rushing too quickly into a relationship with Tonks, but I also feel that he's been thinking about this (based on her behavior for the whole of HBP) for a long time and just needed a little motherly push. I'm glad you felt I managed Molly well as I wasn't sure if she was OOC or not.
I honestly had no idea what to expect when I clicked on this, and that's not normally something I like. In this instance, however, this proved to be astonishingly good.
As the proud big sister of a three year old boy, I thought Ron was perfect. His logic, mannerisms and sadness were not only realistic of his age, but also of Ron's character. He was so true to the Ron we know and love, for instance the attempt to come out from the shadow of Fred and George by riding their brooms seemed perfectly plausible.
The entire storyline with Teddy was truly heartbreaking. The fact that Ron lost the one friend he thought he had at such a young age fits seamlessly with the Ron we know from canon and his longing to be loved.
This made me cry, and one particular line stuck with me the most; 'Teddy wasn’t my friend anymore. Teddy had become a bad wizard.' Not only was this a heartbreaking example of a three-year-old's logic in such a situation, but also reminded me of something Sirius said to Harry in OoP, that 'the world isn't split into good people and Death Eaters'. Yet both Harry and the Ron in this instance couldn't yet comprehend that, which made me cry even more!
Author's Response: Thank you, a thousand times! To hear all that from some one who has a three-year-old brother is just brilliant really. I based this on my little cousin see, but I don't see her very much, so to hear from someone who is around a 3 year old frequently, really means a lot. Thank you so much
I am glad this story is different that you expected, this was just an experiment really, and I didn't even think it would get validated, but to have it got approved and have people enjoy it is just mind-blowing to be honest. I am so glad you liked Ron's logic here, and well done on spotting how he wanted to come out of the shadows of Fred and George (that was my intention, so I am really glad you picked up on it!)
Yeah, you are right about the quote from OOTP and how the world isn't divided into good people and Death Eaters, and how Ron is too young to understand that - but if I am honest with you I wasn't thinking of that quote at all, but I was thinking about the idea behind the quote, how the world is not as black and white, in the you are either good or bad sense, as Ron believes it to be at this age.
Thank you so much for all the nice things you said - they really made me smile. So glad you enjoyed this! :)
Oooh I'm intrigued! Can't wait to find out what Romilda, or Mildew, has gone and done now!
I love the continuation of Lavender and Blaise as a couple, 'Lavender Blue' is one of my all-time favourites so it's great to see them popping up amongst your other work :)
The dynamic you've established between Seamus-Parvati-Dean and to a lesser extent Lavender is remarkable, they seem like a real group of friends, with their inter-woven loyalties and misunderstandings.
I can't wait for more! Seamus can't marry that awful girl :(
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the lovely review and especially the kind words about Lavender - I ♥ that girl so much! Pleased you picked up on the dunamics between the three and also Lavender. I need a core for it to work and am puzzling it out in my head and on the page. Thanks again - Carole~
Daphne Greengrass had until her twenty-first birthday to pick a husband, or her parents would choose one for her. With only months to go before the deadline, she found herself with a perfect suitor in Theodore Nott.
But when a freak pregnancy landed her in the care of cranky Healer-in-Training Michael Corner, Daphne started to realise that things she thought she knew were slowly being turned upside-down. And what she thought she knew about Michael Corner began to dissolve into something different entirely.
This story has been nominated for two 2012 Quicksilver Quill Awards: Best Non-Canon Romance and Best Post-Hogwarts Story.
This story has also been nominated for a 2013 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Post-Hogwarts Story.
I loved chapters one and two, but much to my disgust it's not letting me access chapter three (or the previous chapters) all of a sudden!
Daphne is very well developed, she seems human and flawed, with elements of Slytherin in her but she isn't defined by it, which I like. Her insecurities are completely believable, and I felt a huge level of sympathy for her following the disastrous encounter with Theo.
I liked how you didn't chuck Michael into the first chapter, instead letting Daphne develop first.
I hope to be able to read the third chapter soon, once it decides to let me!
I love your work,
Hmm, odd that you couldn't access the chapter. We did have some difficulty a while back with readers not being able to access 6th/7th year/Professors stories due to a warning pop-up glitch. I hope that's not the case, because that was a bear to fix for the site coder.
Anyway, I'm glad you like the pace of the story. I think the set-up with Daphne's character is the most important to the whole story, as she is the one who will be experiencing the most throughout the fic. You'll get to see plenty of Michael later, but the structure dictated that he would come up a bit later in the story and NOT in the first few parts. I'm happy you agree, hehe.
Thanks for your read and review, and I hope the glitch thingy sorts itself out and you can read more. There should be a new chapter up tomorrow/the day after. :)
Oooh I finally got to read chapter three!
...and it was well worth the wait! The complexity of your characters makes them so human, for instance you didn't make Theo cold or uncaring, which would have been easy, but instead made him loving, just not in the way Daphne wishes he was.
Michael for me is perfect; intelligent, stubborn, and of course a little abrasive. I loved the line 'There wasn’t a straight guy at Hogwarts who didn’t know your cup size', as it hinted at his possible attraction to her, but in a subtle way.
The plot development was brilliant, and Daphne's realisation that she could do something to help girls like her didn't seem at all contrived, but entirely logical and fitting in with the person you've established her to be.
Can't wait for more!
Hello again! I may or may not have sneakily lowered the rating so the warnings didn't pop up. Every once in a while, when the system fudges up, those of us who write mainly higher-rated stories do that so people can actually read our stuff.
Theo was always nice, really. That was part of the reason Daphne latched onto him when he looked interested. She didn't want what happened to her older sister to happen to her, and she knew, after years of being acquainted with Theo, that he wouldn't do that to her.
Michael, well...he's got his reasons for being a jerk, which you will learn about later in the story, but yeah. He's kind of like Dr House a little bit - with an eye patch, hehe. And even though Daphne nothing-ed him before that day, she is a smart girl who knows talent when she sees it.
Daphne wants to help because it felt damned unfair to her that no one was presenting *her* with options during her little crisis, and she just happened to be lucky to get the one person willing to help her outside the confines of regulation. I suppose she wouldn't have volunteered before, but experiencing such a thing first-hand, I believe, changes one's perspective on what's important. Not to mention how scary it was, even though she was an adult. Poor Rose. :/
Anyway, I shall discontinue my ramble. Thanks for reading! New chapter either later today or very early tomorrow. <3
I sincerely apologise for bombarding you with reviews, but I'm afraid I simply can't resist!
I love how you've created this whole world, with Daphne/Michael/Theo/Terry/Anthony all intertwined and with deep histories and human emotions. I thought Michael's breakdown was extremely well handled, conveying the complex nature of his feelings in a way that not only developed the plot and his back story further but also allowed Daphne an opportunity to show everyone (including herself) how much she'd changed and how much she cared.
The revelation that Michael had always been in love with her was not altogether unexpected, and was perfect in that it justified all of his actions towards her, in a way which didn't seem at all contrived, but in fact deeply touching and heartbreaking. The character you've developed for Daphne is perfect, flawed, human, but in tune with the Slytherin traits we know her to possess, yet impossible to dislike. Much like Terry said Michael wants to hate her, it's impossible to dislike Daphne despite her flaws.
I'm dying for an update (I must admit I've been obsessively checking for updates every half hour! hahaha I apologise for the mild stalking there...), this is one of the best characterised fics I've ever read. Ever.
Your impatient (and obsessed!) reader,
You, dear, may review as often as you like. Every time I get a review like this one, a baby kitten somewhere in the world gets cuddled. You make me want to adopt you, hehe. :D
To me, every story has another story behind it and another story behind that one, and so on. An audience in my opinion should be able to touch some of these and feel their presence while reading. It, as you said, builds complex character dynamics and plot depth, which make for an interesting read. I don't profess to be great at it, but I do make a conscious effort to give readers bang for their buck (or content for their word count). This story was exceedingly difficult in this respect, as it was never supposed to be this long. But I sort of fell in love with my characters and had to give them a riper, richer existence.
Michael is truly tragic in some respects in this story. He spent so many years being in love with Daphne's exterior and what he wanted her to be like that when he actually started to know her, such as in shared NEWT classes that they normally would've had with their own houses, he felt hurt and disillusioned that she was nothing like he thought she would be. It was easier to, as Terry put it, want to hate her. But he got the chance to know the real her, and you said it best: it's impossible to dislike Daphne once you get to know her. She's a bit shallow, but it was what she knew of life, not a conscious decision. And speaking on that, waaaaaaaait until you see what comes next, lol. Brain = asplode.
There will be a shiny new update some time tomorrow before I go to work (about midnight BST), so I shall put you out of your misery. PS - I update every three days, just so you know the schedule. And as for being one of the best characterised fics...I don't know whether that's true, but to know you enjoy it so much makes every minute of the forced solitude for two weeks to manically meet my fest deadline worth it. And stalking? Go ahead. I'm not that interesting. Really, I'm not, lol. Ciao for now!
I have to admit that I cried :(
I've loved this story so much, it seems so real because all of your characters are so human.
There were so many rewarding things about writing and posting this story, but nothing has touched me more than sharing it with readers like you. For a story I thought would hardly crack a thousand reads in a year, it's far surpassed any and all expectations I'd had, and it's swiftly settled itself very high on the list of fics I will always cherish. It's because of the characters that I wanted to write this; they all deserve to be heard and to be loved, and that is what will keep me writing minor characters forever. :)
I freely admit that I wibbled when I wrote Terry's account of Anthony's madness and what brought it on. I legit felt like a bad human being for a minute before I pushed that aside and told myself that the characters weren't real. I guess they'll always be real to me. <3
Thank you for following along. You've been a great reviewer and fun to get to know. I hope to see you again soon!
I think you're characterisation of Lavender is dead on, she's still the girl we know but with more depth to her, and I love Mark as a character, he seems so real.
I must admit I've read everything you've written, and I love the continuity between everything, and the link between this and Tales of the Battle was actually quite touching, as Mark had shared such a traumatic moment with Lavender's parents and they hadn't even realised it, much like how he took her to St Mungo's and she didn't know until he told her.
I can't wait for more :)
Author's Response: Fenella, thanks for the review.
Mark is such an easy character to wriite, always doubting, always worrying. Lavender is, I hope a little more mature than when she was snogging Ron. She seems to be taking over my writing again. She's in Hunters and Prey (and so is Mark, though they haven't met yet). They'll both be in the next chapter of Strangers, too.I've been meaning to write this encounter ever since the Parents chapter in Tales. Bits of this story have been around for years. The next chapter will be the last, but it's going to be at least a week before you see it.
I have to say this made me smile :)
It was sweet, touching, and the darker undertones just made it even more heartwarming as Lily had an opportunity to prove her love for him.
Loved it :)
Author's Response: Thank you Fenella! Coming home to find that my story was up and it had received such a lovely review has made my day. I'm glad you enjoyed it. ~Sophie
On November 2nd, Petunia Dursley wakes up to a morning she hates to remember but will never forget.
This is BrokenPromise of Ravenclaw writing for the Great Hall Illustration for Inspiration Challenge 2012
Regrettably, I own neither the world nor the picture from which this fic is inspired. They belong to J K Rowling and Karaley Dargen respectively, and I hope that this is an adequate representation.Character Death for Lily and James only.
Many thanks to Megan/noblefate who betaed this for me so quickly and helpfully!
I thought your characterisation of Petunia was dead on; judgemental, but still human and still capable of emotion, and it was touching when she realised Lily was dead.
I thought this was perfect, exactly how I imagined that morning to unfold, and truly heartbreaking when you think of Lily and James having died and the fact Harry spends the next ten years of his life in this horrid house :(
Author's Response: Thanks so much. I owe a lot of credit for characterisation help to Megan, my amazing beta, who helped me a lot. I am fond of exploring minor characters, especially showing their other sides. I'm glad you enjoyed the fic, and thanks for reviewing!
I'm in a bit of a weepy mood and this pushed me over the edge!
The emotions were handled with such simplicity that they were heartbreaking, and Scorpius' anger was so moving because it was so understandable.
Author's Response: Aw, so sorry this made you cry. :( But I'm also glad you liked reading about the emotions. I WAS wondering if Scorpius was getting too angry but it's good to know that I didn't make a mistake there. Thank you so much, Fenella, for the review! :)
Joint winner of Best Post-Hogwarts One-Shot at the 2012 Quicksilver Quill Awards
I'm sat here sobbing and I don't know what to say.
Fred and George captured perfectly. Heartbreakingly well. The teasing of their family members was done is such a honest yet loving way, and dead on how they'd think.
It was like you were channelling Fred and George
The closing lines: 'George looked away from the place he had just seen his twin and down to the place his twin was now, and always would be.
"Goodbye, Fred." ' perfect, understated, emotive. So simple yet so powerful.
I really have nothing else to say, excuse me whilst I go and find a tissue!
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing :) Sorry about the tears! I'm glad you enjoyed it though.
I finally got round to reading this after remembering you mentioning it in the CR and I'm lost for words.
Whatever I expected, this wasn't it. You made a pairing that seemed completely implausible work, and in such a powerful way. I may even start shipping them now...
Author's Response: Hi, Fenella! :)
Thank you so much for the review. I know it was surprising, but I'm so glad you liked it. Jess would be proud if you started shipping Ron/Pansy. :)
Falling in love teaches Dennis Creevey that sometimes, needing someone isn't a bad thing, especially as it helps him forget all that he's lost.
It fails, however, to show him that forgetting can only go on for so long.
Thank you to Ari for her loveliness in betaing this story.
I'm not really sure what to say.This was dark, and twisted... and yet somehow beautiful. Poignant. Bitter. Truly, truly heartbreaking. Her death caught me off guard, in fact many of the plot twists did, which made it even more powerful.
The reference to Lavender (at least, I interpreted it to be Lavender) was also powerful, it made what Nicolas was doing so much more justified and understandable.
Really, this was amazing. I know this'll be one of the stories I'll never get out of my head.
Author's Response: It was Lavender - I'm glad someone picked up on that :). This review means so much to me, thank you for reading and taking the time to leave one. xx Ariana
Ellie this was incredible. Dark and twisted and ghastly and depressing and shocking and a million other things, yet somehow still something I enjoyed. The descriptions of Albus' eyes were so powerful, and I liked the fact you kept the identity of the girl ambiguous (though I can't deny I'd loved to have worked out who she is!)
I'm really not sure what to say, other than that you made what was really quite a disturbing plot into something beautiful and entrancing... Proud of you my fellow Slyth!
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review, Fenella!
Wow. I'm so glad you liked it. It's probably one of the darkest pieces I wrote, and I'm so glad it didn't scare you off, lol. I love describing eyes for some reason, and I honestly don't have a name for the OC. I kind of felt it dulled what I was trying to say. That they were both 'nobodys', and she was just another face in the crowd, yeah? Thank you so much for the amazing review. (and 'she' can be whoever you want!)
I loved this.
Not too cliched, not too soppy, yet still romantic and touching.
I think the thing that makes this so powerful is James envisioning their future, the future we know never happened. Incredibly hard hitting, yet I liked the simplicity of your writing. You didn't say anything outright, you left it to the reader.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the lovely review! For a long time I had the image of James sneaking into Lily's room just to be near her, so I was really glad when the rest of the story fell into place