I can’t believe I’ve not read this fic before. It’s one of the best Dramione fics I’ve ever read – original setting, just the right amount of fluff blended into the angst, great characterisation and absolutely beautifully written. I liked the touch with the lyrics, they were very fitting! I didn’t even realise they were lyrics, and not just simply Hermione’s thoughts, until I read the A/N. =P
The whole idea with Draco having been Kissed was just heartbreakingly sad. From the first paragraph I was in tears! The way you then wove in memories into the story was very well done. I especially loved the first memory… so sweet, and sad… “Why do you care so much?” Brilliant. =)
This story had an awesome style and flow, it went by so quickly and easily that I would’ve wished that it was longer. Argh, why couldn’t Draco let his heart decide, for once! *sob*
You’ve done a great job with this fic, hun! Very well written! Me loved it. =)
Aw, this was so sweet, sad and beautiful. I love how the tulips' struggle to live, going through cold and hibernating and all, shows that there is hope after death. Yes, I noticed that that one part was specifically about Harry, that was particularly well written.
You use a nice variation of pretty words, and the rhyming and punctuation feel very natural. I haven't read the poem which structure you used, but I think it worked very well with the story you're telling!
Very good job on this, I'm truly impressed by your knack for writing poetry. Keep it up! =)
Author's Response: Oooh thank you for the review Jen! (Sorry it\'s taken me so long to respond...)
Yes - hope after death is one of the central themes of this poem. I wanted the image in the first part to be of the family coming to Harry\'s grave, leaving flowers and just being peaceful and quiet. The rhyming part was obviously, the battle and how Harry died, then the last part about remembrance and hope. I\'m glad you got some of that! *yay*
I really suggest you read \"At a Potato Digging\"! You probably won\'t like it at first, I remember hating it, but I had to study it inside out for English last year and ended up doing my exam on it...so I\'m rather fond of it now. Teehee.
Anyway, thanks again! ~Suzie
Gosh. I’m practically speechless. This was amazing! The entire piece was very gripping and moving, I nearly cried there at the end :’(
The fact that the whole piece was written from a “we”-POV was a nice, original touch, adding to the meaning of the lovely sentence of unity, which I loved:
as friends (looking out for one another), as brothers (for together we can be strong).
My absolute favourite sentence, though, was:
No prisoners of motion; silence is a more favourable option.
It almost made me laugh, in all the sadness and horror of the rest of the fic. It was just too true, and I’ve never thought about it that way before. Excellently put!
Throughout the story there’s obviously a fight, action, but your writing makes it the thoughts and feelings within them sound as beautiful as poetry. It’s as if everything is in slow-motion, and you can really hear the thoughts of both brothers, filling each other in, contemplating on death, real-time. Beautiful! You are very talented at writing this type of story. Good job, Suz!
Author's Response: *hugs* Sorry you nearly cried :p But thanks for the review!
I\'m glad you liked the \'we\' POV. We don\'t know much about the Prewetts in canon but I\'ve always thought of them as being extremely alike and close, like Fred and George. I can imagine them fighting together in battle, and I hope that shows through in the writing.
Slow-motion...hmm...I like that. I wanted there to be an element of action-rest-action-rest throughout the whole piece, like as if we were taking little snapshots of important parts of the scene ya\'know?
Anyway, thank you so much for the review! :D ~Suzie
Aaaaw, Suzie. You’ve done it again - this was beautiful! *teary-eyed*
I think this story really shows what love can do to people, and affect their actions. Tonks felt stronger and more secure with Remus; she did better at work and coped better with the war when she knew she had someone to come home to every day. Remus, on the other hand, felt overprotective of the one he loved and did what he could to keep her safe, as this was the most important to him (at least he thought so at first). Anyway, this you showed brilliantly! I mean, you didn’t have to spell it out; you could just feel it. =)
I love all the pretty sayings you used…The wind rattled the thin windowpanes ominously, as if pounding on the glass for entry… many threads between the best of couples were threatening to snap… the minute hand slipping forwards to meet the hour… I don’t know, I just loved those sentences =D My very favourite, though, was the sad, For tomorrow, or one day, there may be no one left to hold… That nearly made me cry! It’s so true, in the Potterverse as well as in the real world, but not many seem to keep that in mind every day (probably because it’s too discomforting =( ). It’s like that song by Ronan Keating… “If tomorrow never comes” *sniffle*
I also liked that you used Tonks hair to show how she was feeling, and emphasised the fact that it changes with her mood. A very nice touch. =)
Overall: really great job, dear! Heck, you even made me all teary! =) Well done!!
I liked the theme of this poem, I haven't read any quite like it! Very sweet and straight-forward.
Like Ivy said, to make this even better you can try using some imaginative adjectives (right-click and synonyms in Word always works =P).
I enjoyed reading this, though I wish it was longer!! Keep on writing,
*hinthint* You know, I have a story up that needs some reviews too ;)
Author's Response: hi!!! thanks very much Hokey!!!! i shall also use your constructive critisism in my next poem. I will read and review Your story, probably after I eat dinner. Thanks again!!!
*Gasp* This is one of the best fics I've ever read! It's got everything - heart-wrecking angst, fluffy romance and even some small bits of humor. So simple, yet so elegant!
I'm glad this won, you really deserve it! Congratulations! =) You're a very talented writer. Keep up the excellent work!
Author's Response: Thank you!
Hi! This poem was so cute; both simple and very thorough at the same time, if that's possible! =) I enjoyed reading it. Good job!
Author's Response: Hey Jen!
Thanks so much for your review. *huggles* Haha, I really did have fun with it, it just popped into my mind and wouldn\'t leave until I\'d written it!
Hello, Suzie! *huggles*
I don't read a lot of poetry, I'm not sure why. I guess it has something to do with that I thought that not all poems can convey a story, or meaning, like short stories can. You, however, have proved me utterly wrong!
This poem has a very nice rhythm and a flow to it; I just felt like reading it out loud to actually hear the harmony of it. It also tells us something, it has a very deep and profound theme (that in a way drives me crazy, because I start thinking about complicated things that just go round and round in my mind... I guess you know what I mean =P)
I think it’s just the right length and the title is very fitting, on several levels. The rhyming is great, it feels natural and not forced or anything of the sort! Truly beautiful.
Good job, Suzie! I can’t wait to read more of your stuff! =D
Author's Response: Yay Jen! :D I\'m glad you like this poem. I wrote it quite quickly, but the rhythm for this one just seemed to come naturally. You should definitely read more poetry! One of the things I like most about poetry is the way that it can sometimes tell a story in so few words. The title...ack. That took me ages! And it\'s so simple! My beta, Jenn, suggested loads but in the end I changed it at the last minute. *hides* Anyway, glad you like the poem, and thanks for reviewing! ~Suzie <3
Lurid of Ravenclaw House, for the Mythology Challenge. Indian Mythology.
This story is absolutely beautiful. All the feelings are real, believable and utterly heartbreaking to read. Your descriptions suck you in, and you do not read about Padma’s pain - you experience it. That is something not many can manage!
The Hindu culture and beliefs you put in are essential to the story and you put in just enough detail to make it intriguing, but not overwhelming. This truly is a different way of thinking (for me, at least) and the way you wrote the story, I slowly came to believe in it in the same pace as Padma did. Awesomely done! Also, all parts and stages of Padma’s despair were gently and delicately woven together in a seamless way. This added a flow to the story which made it easier to read, and got me even more sucked in. Nothing short of excellent, really. =)
I had a good, yet sad, read. You’re a great writer, but I guess you already know that. =) Great job! It shows you’ve worked hard on this, so kudos to you!
Author's Response: *chuckles* I love your penname!
Thanks for the comments on weaving, I was really hoping to step away from my usual motage style :) I love reviews, because they make me realise the good stuff, rather than the bad stuff. So thank you!
*jaw drops* Nicole, this is awesome! You've got a nice flow through the whole story, and I think it's just the right disposition and length.
Neville is such a sweet character, I love reading from his POV! The Teutonian is a very clever name and creature, I love your description of it and Arin's character! Good characterisation throughout, and the house unity scene was hilarious =D
Gosh, I don't even know what to say, I just loved it. Very nicely done, Nicole! Best of luck in the challenge, dear!
Author's Response: Hehe... why thank you! That was a very nice thing to say. It was my first forary into writing Neville and I tried so hard to keep him in Canon (my new thing... staying in Canon) but I wanted to have a little fun with him as well. I am glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for taking the time to review! *huggles* ~Nicole
Oh. My. Gosh.
*checks to make sure she is still breathing*
This is extremely well-written, an excellent portrayal of Bellatrix as evil, but human, with regrets and feelings of guilt. I liked your choice of words, and the rather depressing atmosphere you managed to build with them. I haven't read Blinded, which this was a sequel to, if I remember correctly, but I just might have to - you've really gotten me into Bella fics now! =)
Overall, very nicely written story and very original! Its scariness had me at the edge of my seat throughout the whole fic. Well done, Elle! *hugs*
Author's Response: *huggles Jennifer* *dances merrily*
Thank you so much. I\'m glad you enjoyed. I went for a very dark atmosphere with this one. There was really no other way to do it. I\'m glad to hear it came off well.
*is super thrilled that you\'re into Bella fics now* *huggles Bella*
Thanks again for leaving a wonderful review!
Awww! *sniffle* I loved this fic. You've captured Luna brilliantly; the characterization is excellent and this is one of the few Luna fics I've read that actually feels canon, and believable.
I loved the first part, and all the things Luna's father said. Although we haven't met him in the books, that is exactly how I pictured him, and it explains why Luna is the crazy way she is! =) Without spelling it out, you made the love and caring between the two obvious. Brilliant!
The whole story is well thought out; it's an excellent bunny. Some plot holes weren't exactly filled - like how Luna found out about Harry's cloak, and the fact that a Threstral was still roaming around in London although it can perfectly well find its way back home. This, however, was forgotten as the whole story goes at a high and steady pace, which keeps it interesting and exciting.
I love all of this story to pieces. But especially I love your excellent characterization, the relationship you display between Luna and both her parents, and the tear-inducing ending scene. Those you've done a great job with! You should be proud! =)
Author's Response: Thank you. this is by far the best review that I have ever gotten for any fic. I admit, that I am especially proud of this fic. It turned out much better than I had expected. I know what you mean about the plot holes. I tried to tie up all the loose ends as much as possible, but as you said, the story moves in such a way that the plot holes are almost un-noticable, and if they are, they are not so major that the reader has a chance to dwell on them. Thanks again for the awesome review.
Oh. Em. Gee.
I just sat and read through all the chapters that are up, and was so disappointed and eager for more when I reached the end! I love the way you write and portray the characters - everyone is spot-on, and I very much believe Harry and George would be affected this way. It's all so realistic, well done!
I love the humorous bits, the banter and the small moments. And I love that you have Ron and Hermione bickering over the kiss, it's priceless! I'd never thought of it that way, but I could very much believe that this would be the reaction, and not at all that they jump into a relationship and all is good after DH... Ron's still very immature, and I can't see them having a functional relationship just yet.
That said - as a Harmonian, I think you're portraying and building up Harry and Hermione's relationship very good. Please don't rush things just for the sake of it, or because you think there's no action in the story, because it's wonderfully realistic as it is..!
I enjoyed every single sentence of your writing. And I can't wait to read more! Keep up the GREAT work, this is the best H/Hr fic I've read in a VERY long time!!
I think your idea of the Snape couple dynamics is very believable, and very well written. It makes sense that Severus would come from a home of violence and oppression, but also desperately wants to be seen as a good boy.
I'm not quite seeing the how the artsy stuff ties in. Then again, an incident like the one you describe might affect Severus in a way that he never again explores his artistic sense. I guess I've just seen him more as a silent reader, one who takes in his surroundings, than one who creates.
I wish this had been longer so you could elaborate the ending more, because I really think you're touching on some good stuff here: the reason why Severus would call himself the Half-Blood Prince. I think you're on the right track but there's definitely more to be said about it! I know this was just a short, inspired piece, though :) And I think you've done a really good job! Set my thoughts in motion, at least! Well done :)
Julia! Good job on this, writing a story with only dialogue must be hard..! I'm glad you chose Harry and Hermione, they are my absolute favourite pair in dialogue (if Ron's involved, he always irritates me...) They are so on the same level with each other, which makes their bickering quick and witty. It was very fun to read :)
I am quite sure there's a row to much, though, that Harry and Hermione change place in dialogue :O Right around “But does he suspect anything?” “No, Harry. This is Ron we’re talking about…” “Right.” If you continue reading you'll notice the rows don't match up... :(
Anyway, good job! You made me laugh :)
Author's Response: Oh Jen/Xen! You're right, there was change but I have fixed it now by merging the two sentences together. I absolutely adore conversations between Harry and Hermione. I'm a Harmony shipper but even in canon compliant situations like this they're just so fun to work with. Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad it made you laugh! I had a lot of giggle-fits writing it. Julia/Xulia XD
She stares out across the great expanse of water.
He watches her longing gaze.
My final task for the 'Watching the Mirror' class on the beta boards.
Nominated in the 2010 Quicksilver Quill Awards for Best Non-Canon Romance.
I just read this for the second time, at it's still one of the best Harmony fics I've read! :) I like the H/Hr stories that fit as excellently in canon as this, and keeps it believable. You've done a very good job on this, dear Xulia! :)
Author's Response: Thank you so much, Xen! I'm like you and love Harmony fics which fit into canon believably. I'm so glad you like this fic :) Thanks for the review!
During the trip to Godric's Hollow, Hermione, through the course of events, comes to realize that her friendship with Harry had become so much more to her - but not to him. This pain, this disconcerting feeling, however, had nothing to do with Horcruxes.
You've done a great job with this, Jess! For one who doesn't usually write from Hermione's POV, I think you did excellently. She's very IC and her inner battle with emotions and frustration were very interesting to read. As all else has been said, I'll just say that I think this was a wonderful idea and you carried out the story in a fantastic way! :) Keep writing more "missing moments" from DH ;)
Aw, thanks, Jen!
I knew I wanted to write this story the moment I read DH again. That one line that Hermione had after Harry woke up... it begged for an explanation. There are just so many tales waiting to be told, and I'm glad that I told this one, because now I feel like I know. Even though only JKR can know for sure, I'd like to think that what I wrote is plausible. :)
Anyway, thanks so much for reviewing, and take care.
Hermione gets the cat, the flat, the food, and the furniture. Ron gets the family and friends.
Harry gets the boot, his little book, the blame, and the shame. Ginny gets a new bloke and a haircut.
'The One' is an insidious myth, and 'Meant To Be' smacks of a hope to which no one has a right.
It's a shame the two of them bought into it for so long.
And it's too bad old habits are so hard to break.
Nice story you've got going here. You tell the story elegantly, without having to write out everything in detail but the story and previous events still come across.
I like your characterisations; I enjoy stories where Ron's ignorance isn't portrayed as just cute or childish, when it's really downright mean. However, I think you could be a bit more subtle in why he isn't the best fiancĂ©e. I'd like to think that Hermione does have the guts and self-respect to not be with someone who is obviously mistreating her. I'd like to see the things Ron does to keep her holding on!
Overall, I like the start of this story and I hope you intend to keep writing! Good job :)
Author's Response: Hi Hokey!
I'm pleased you are enjoying this so far and like my characterisation. The thing with Ron-- well, I'll just say that their relationship is on it's last leg (we already know they break up) and I'll be addressing all these issues in the next chapter. What I've shown you, it all has it's place in the bigger picture with both Hermione and Harry, I promise.
Thank you so much for the 'good job', for reading, and for the review!
This is actually pretty much how I would have imagined their little venture to the Chamber of Secrets to have been :) The form that the Horcrux assumed also felt suitable for Hermione, I can imagine that's her biggest insecurity. I wish you would have elaborated on that part more, though, as it felt like the core of the story. Overall I liked the dialogue between the two, very IC! Well done :)
Author's Response: Hmmm... I know there could have been more detail in what the Horcrux put her through, but for me, that part was the climax of the story, not the core. The core here, with these two, has always been the journey. But maybe that's just me. :) Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to review. I'm glad you thought it was believable.
Damn it you're good. I never thought I'd believe, much less actually enjoy, a Drarry. But you built this up so good that everything so far has felt perfectly natural. And this chapter just blew me away. I can't believe how well you write their teasing, and their vulnerability. I'm gonna keep on reading now, just thought I'd say that. :P
Author's Response: Thanks so much! Not believe in Drarry, but Drarry is real, I swear! I'm glad you're enjoying the story. You're review means a lot, especially coming from a fellow Slytherin. *hugs*