Soon to be 2 decades old, wallowing in Post Potter depression.
My fanfiction account has the stories I have written since I'm too lazy to put them up here. :P
I could tell you many many things I liked about the story, and the fact members of the Original order aren't honored enough in fanfiction, but this story reminds me of Atticus Finch's quote in To Kill a Mockingbird, "Courage is not a man with a gun in his hand. Courage is knowing you are licked before you begin but you see it through to the end anyway". I loved the back and forth between brothers ( reminded me of fred and george..), the bit about James and Lily, their debate about the spy ( god lord how Pettigrew got away with it by the impression that everyone thought he didn't have the guts to be one), and Molly being so numb by grief. They are all nice touches. :)
I absolutely adore this, it had me smiling, a little sadly about the fate of the Marauders. The image of an ugly veil in the air, and a handsome young man laughing- quite an image to put in my head. The innocence and the mischief of it. Whenever I write drabbles on Sirius, I use his laughter as a coping mechanism for him. His laughs are usually at an irony of it- but here..oh, you know what I mean.
James- LOL. from refusing to let siri-padfoot share a room with Lily , to gently telling Petunia that Vernon must have gained weight. I am eagerly awaiting your update on Lions. :)
And your Lily is just right. In my view, anyway. A lot of people portray her as incredibly self righteous and stuffy. They don't get her 'mischief' quite right. And she would have to be mischievous to date James Potter.
And lastly, Petunia. her jealousy, her insecurity, a certain feeling that she has been overshadowed by Lily. You have struck a right balance between the girl who said, "How do you do it?" to "You are a freak,Lily!" . And yes, i can picture her being very attracted/and scared of being attracted to someone like Sirius. :P
Author's Response: Thank you very much. Yes, I totally agree about Lily. James would not have dated a sourpuss - no matter how pretty - and Slughorn mentions her being cheeky, so she must have been a lively sort of girl.
I do feel sad when I read this story because it makes me think about the Marauders and Lily and how they all died so senselessly. *sigh*
Thank you for the lovely review. I am halfway through a chapter of Lions but got distracted - ooops. ~Carole~
Snape was very very, well characterized. Well written. The dichotomy of Snape, that makes him one of the most intriguing characters in HP is present in your fic which I appreciate. Good work. :)
I am so used to reading stories where Marauders veer of to one end and Snape veers of to other, and Lily becomes a paragon of goodness ( something I have been a little guilty of in my stories as well) that it is refreshing to read the characters so..rounded, and human. The fact James can say that Lily can save Snape, shows us why Lily fell in love with him. You have, in a one shot, developed his character within the snippets of Lily's life. Same with petunia, and with Snape. Although, this could be my Sirius loving heart speaking, I loved the Sirius calling her Morgana and her response. So adorable! :D
And to round this off with the names she had been called, its brilliant. So, I shalla dd it to my favorite stories. :)
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm so glad you liked the story. Lily and James (and Sirius and Remus and Snape and even Peter) are my favorite characters to write because they are so complex and... well, human. They'd all be so much less interesting if they were completely good or completely evil.
When Regulus steps into the cave by the sea, he knows it is a mission that could very well be the end of him, but it is in something he has lost that he finds the strength to do what is right and not what is easy.
This story was nominated for a 2012 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Dark/Angst.
This reminds me of the piece I wrote for fanfiction. net- few years back. I wish I could rewrite it now, because I am reminded of how unflinchingly in love with the Black brothers I was.,I wrote it with that filter. I am still proud of the ending, the rest is too saccharine and self righteous for my comfort.
And that brings me to why I appreciate your story more...its very Regulus. Very in character, well written and conveys subtly what I tried to beat over my reader's head-Sirius and Regulas's relationship.
My blood begins to run cold as we near the centre. I can feel it in the air, the presence of the darkest of magic. I am no stranger to its aura, but the sorcery that had been set upon the object waiting for us is almost as black as the water below.----> this line made me get goosebumps. The atmosphere brought by this paragraph. Chills!
And of course the famous line :While I have finally found a cause worth dying for, he will have forever defeated me in finding a cause worth living for.
Simply beautiful. :)
I'm glad you feel that way about this story. It was actually longer in the first draft, but I actually culled it down to be more simple and hopefully more powerful. I will admit that I fell in love with the imagery a bit and made a point of NOT chopping that up. I'm glad I didn't and that it had a good effect.
The last couple of lines were my favourites, and I pretty much wrote the rest of the fic around them.
I forgot to add- your ending. It seems so matter of fact and unsentimental, as if there is really no other choice he was going to go through or consider. And we, with knowledge how it is going to turn out for him, feel the tragedy of it even more.
Agreed. Regulus grew up in those hours before his death, moved on from his youthful naivete and beliefs. But he never gave up that thread of loyalty to his brother and the need to know that he was given the best possible chance for survival.
Thank you for the review. I really appreciate the good feedback and the lovely comments. :)
You know the best thing about this? [ apart from the fact its a rap, I can't write one, free verse, poems, they are easier to do for me]
"The blackest day in your existence was the day you met me." and "I never really had a clue, but tonight,
I’m making it a fair fight."- Regulus's pride and sense of personal responsibility for the mistakes he has made. Your characterization of Regulus, as I have noted in your stories and as well as in this, it is brilliant.
I love it. :)
Thanks for the visit and the review. It's always nice to see something unloved shown a little bit of TLC. :D
I can't tell you how much this broke my brain. Eminem's rapping is so airtight yet complex rhythmically that it is a challenge to parody badly, let alone with any sort of characterisation or quality. The fact that it's even readable, I think, was an achievement for me. That you enjoyed it makes the hard work I put into it so much more worth it.
I think, above all, Regulus wanted to do what was best for everyone. When he was the boy who joined the Death Eaters, he was so sure that Muggles were beasts and Mudbloods were inferior that he never really questioned what he was taught. However, I think he began to learn a lot about both himself and the Dark Lord, and his beliefs began to change. I personally think the straw the broke the camel's back for him was the maltreatment of Kreacher. Harmless Kreacher who only lived to serve, meant to die in a cave like roadkill on the motorway.
At any rate, thank you for the review, and I'm happy you enjoy this and my other stories.