How difficult this must have been to write. It was difficult to read. Thank you for not going into detail; the word "rape" is graphic enough. Perhaps there was not enough said about the loved ones left behind to deal with the loss and confusion caused by the suicide? You presented Albus' feelings of despair, shame, and hopelessness quite well...in fact, you fairly justified the suicide by diminishing his family's love and obliterating any hope for emotional healing. This is disturbing. Without hope, The Hope, there is no life.
Author's Response: Yes, this was difficult to write. Especially as it was so... heavy and draining as a topic. It made me feel miserable in places and I just felt worse while revising it over and over. I thought that maybe more than the rape, it was the whole psychology... Albus's whole struggle that made it difficult to read. About his loved ones-- yes, I purposely did not mention them much because this fic was to be more about Albus than anyone else. As this was primarily a challenge submission, I wanted to make the focus of the story quite clear. Plus, the vagueness went better with the mood. Describing everyone's emotions would have been like forcing the readers to feel for Albus and I didn't want that. I am quite glad that you found my description of Albus's emotions good. And the suicide was still not justified, in my opinion. Suicide never is justified in my eyes. But that's just me. I was writing for Albus and for him, this was the right way. You're right, without hope, there is no life. And I'd suggest listening to some good music and a chunk of chocolate if you're too disturbed. Thank you for that short, yet huge review! :)
Summary: After a year of separation, Harry sees Ginny. His emotions rise up, and before he knows it, there's a confrontation...
This is only rated 6th-7th for the profanity, although there's not much.
Hmmm...well....do confrontations of this magnitude actually occur in public places like this? Wouldn't Harry have cast the Muffliato spell or something similar? I don't know...seems too contrived to be realistic. Ginny's angry, indignant response was the most true-to-character bit in the whole piece.
Summary: There is magic the likes of which humans can barely remember and seldom experience. There is, however, a handful of men privileged enough to experience a part of it: the Dryad's Consorts.
Written for the last third of Madame Alex's Character Triathalon!
Many thanks to Maple for the beta; I couldn't see myself sending this one to anyone else.
Anything you recognise is JKR's. Anything you don't recognise is possibly mine, but probably JKR's.
Wood-nymphs, more commonly known as Dryads, are first and last mentioned in the Potterverse by Fleur in Goblet of Fire. In Greek mythology, these cunning magical creatures are entirely female, and must capture and seduce human men in order to bear daughters and heirs to their forests. In other works of literature they are described as bold and highly territorial, with voracious, er, "appetite" for particular intimate activities. So, basically a shy Herbologist's every fantasy...
Wonderful, wonderful...a delightful, yet poignant love story. You artfully weave the passing of time, describing Melea and Neville's relationship in such a way that both haunts and enchants my imagination.
Thank you for the creative imagery and fine crafting of this text. You remind us all that the most precious, intimate moments in our lives are best described in subtle ways, resonating with one's deepest thoughts and remembrances.
I tip my hat to you.
Summary: The Hawthorn tree is the Celtic symbol of consequence, relationships, and contradiction. It's the symbol of juxtaposition, and also of balance. The beautiful blossoms of the tree are nestled deep within razor-sharp thorns. Despite the harshness of the opposites, it still manages to become reborn each year as the wondrous being of nature we see it as.
Marriage, like the Hawthorne, is rarely -- if ever -- simple. Sometimes the roots decay and the structure dies, and other times the harmony of the union of opposites is enough to keep it alive year after year. Ron and Hermione Weasley's marriage is one such sapling, but will their case be one among the beautiful boughs? Or will it lie dead and trodden upon, long forgotten by time?
This is opti from Hufflepuff House writing for the Great Hall Chaptered Challenge. Prompt: Bonded.
Actually, you have quite succinctly described the USA right now...reeling from the same housing market debacle. As you progress Ron and Hermione's situation, please consider this: "for better or for worse" and "a house does not make a home." Relationship is far more precious than address. Good luck!
Author's Response: Well, you write what you know, right? I guess without realizing it I injected some of my own experiences into the writing, but I think the situation they are in (including the time frame) justifies it. Oh and don't worry, all of your points have been taken into account ;) . But, you'll just have to wait for more chapters to find out how successful the two are.
Sophomore Spells at the Wizarding University of Paris by jenniferes
Rated: Professors [Reviews - 53]
Summary: Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy attend their sophomore year at the Wizarding University of Paris. This is a sequel to both the Dragon Does the Tickling, where Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy complete their seventh year at Hogwarts after the war and fall in love and More Wandless Magic with Malfoy, where they complete their freshman year at WUP. I strongly recommend reading both those stories first.
I understand the chapter's title and text are pointing us towards the end of the semester; however, you do not provide a transition to the holiday break and the ensuing tension that will envelope Draco and Hermione. A paragraph or two outlining their plans would have been nice.
The subjective grading/obvious prejudice exhibited by Professor Lesage provides an all-too-familiar circumstance for many readers with which to identify. Draco's explanation was good: unfortunately for Hermione, a filed complaint with WUP's Omsbudsman Office would have drawn unwanted attention to the D/H partnership. If you are going to build a case of bias against Hermione's Muggle status that will eventually be refuted when your story resolves, now is the time to build on what has been previously written. D/H's "separation" could easily make Hermione a target of Dark Arts bigotry and heighten the story tension.
Author's Response: The transition is coming in the next chapter, so hopefully you will appreciate it there. I like the idea of building up the Dark Arts tension and I'll see where I can fit it in going forward. As you'll see, I will be taking a more personal approach with Professor Lesage. But the general prejudice could be played up as well. Thanks for the thoughtful review and good suggestions! --Jenny
I'm not sure the construction of this chapter is as crisply written as previous installments. Too many uses of "when they..." to keep the action clean. In all, not bad.
Author's Response: I'm just writing this for fun. I hope you enjoy the big picture the story! --Jenny
While this chapter is filled with foundational information primary to the story's climax, you end this narrative rather abruptly and in a sophomoric fashion.
Certainly you have a much better understanding of plotline and text. Be careful in crafting your next submission.
Author's Response: You overestimate me. I'm a complete amateur who's figuring this out as I go along! I have pieces I am moving, but a lot depends on how long the chapter is turning out to be and where to break things up so that no one entry is too long or too short. Thanks, Jenny
So glad you haven't forgotten our WUP students!!! This storyline sounds quite promising. Keep up the good work and don't get too bogged down in maneuvering your character couples into romantic situations. The fact that Hermione and Draco have a project at hand is quite daunting at best!
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. I have the entire story mapped out, so there may be a bit of maneuvering. ;-) But I find a need a mystery to fill a story that takes an entire school year, so it won't be all romance. Thanks, Jenny
While the story is full of interesting color and description, it reads much like a junior literature selection for me. Otherwise, you have put together a nice couple of chapters.
Author's Response: I'm sorry you find the story to be juvenile. It is a bit tricky, trying to take a series written for children/young adults and move it into the "adult adults" realm. Especially when I don't enjoy writing the sex scenes and I my adventure/mystery is going to be lighthearted and fun, not deep and disturbing. But keep the comments coming. Thanks,Jenny
Summary: After the Battle of Hogwarts, the Wizarding world starts to piece itself together, but Molly Weasley knows that’s easier said than done.
Too short!!!! No resolve!!!! You posed the question and did not answer it!!! ARRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Author's Response: I'm glad there was something about this that made you want more. When I first wrote it, it really was a character study in Molly's reaction to the war, but I've received a bunch of feedback that's made me start thinking about another scene or two. I don't guarantee anything, but something may come of the musings. Thank you for reading! ~ Megan
Summary: Lord Voldemort is dead. Here’s to a happily ever after. Or not. Life after the war is far more complicated than anyone expected. After a devastating blow to the family so early, the Potters are left reeling - but this is only the beginning. With the death of outright evil, something more subtle has taken its place, and one wizard may not be enough. This time, it takes the whole family.
Sequel to All for All, but you do not need to have read that to understand this.
Intriguing! Very nice use of dialogue, accompanied by crisp, descriptive writing.
Good job! I look forward to parts 2 and 3.
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I've submitted chapter one of part one, so that should be up in... I think the mod queue is about seven days at the moment. I'm glad you enjoyed it, that you for reviewing!
Summary: A year after the war, wounds remain fresh. Survivors struggle just to keep surviving. They’re plagued with guilt, illness, and new prejudices.
Harry always thought his life would get easier after the demise of Voldemort, but he was wrong.
Too short!!! However, you've provided readers with characters in need of help: Teddy, Harry, Hermione, and Andromeda. Teddy's age necessitates adult supervision, Harry's drinking and self-loathing requires tough love, Hermione's nature demands an outlet to help others, and Andromeda's role as Teddy's caregiver-by-default provides a starting point for a very interesting conclusion. Don't stray too far afield trying to bring other needy characters into the mix: you have a nice combination to work with!
Author's Response: Yes, I tend to write chapters. I happen to like them better. Thanks so much for the comments. There actually are more characters with issues, but they've already been introduced. You just skipped them. :p
Very interesting turn of events. Never saw this coming! Good work!!! Now I'm really intrigued.
Author's Response: Happy to hear I hooked you. :) Thanks for the review.
Didn't see that conversation coming...but I get a better glimpse of the direction you might be taking us.
Author's Response: Think you know where I'm going, huh? You might, with the Malfoys and Androemda, but I think I still have a few surprises in store. :) Thanks so much for the review.
I'm sure I'm not the only reader to point out your mistaken use of "Molly" instead of "Lucy" in Harry's conversation with Teddy. Oops...make sure to correct the mistake ASAP. The mystery has been constructed too well to be left with such a blatant error.
Author's Response: Argh, I'm so sorry I didn't catch that >.< See what I was talking about when I said I didn't have much time? Hah. Anyway, I fixed it! Thank you! And I'm so glad you consider my story well constructed! It took me a lot of work to fix the plot, so I'm happy to see it paid off. Thank you once again! <3
Summary: “Not good--I mean, not bad. Uh, you?”
“I’m alive,” she said cheerfully.
The first three days after the battle, from the perspectives of Hermione, Ginny, and Luna.
Loved the story premise; was a bit confused at the ending. I would have prefered a more cohesive close, meshing Ginny, Hermione, and Luna's storylines. Overall, a nice read.
Author's Response: Thanks for the constructive criticism! I actually did think of tying it all together by having an owl from Hermione fly in around the end, and be read aloud by Ginny or Ron during the ice cream gathering, but I didn't end up doing it.
Summary: It has been nineteen days since the war ended. For everyone involved, it's time to move on and rebuild but can they after everything that has happened?
You have woven a nice tapestry of interconnected POV's. Is there a specific reason for the title or does the span of time simply frame the events you are writing about?
Nicely done. I look forward to the next installment.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing :) The reason for 'Nineteen Days Later' is sort of just what it says on the tin really - this is my idea of what happened on 21st May. Each chapter is slightly later in the day and from a different POV.
Very nice. Thank you for bringing a nice resolution of grief into the story. Believeable and encouraging.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'm glad that you think this some kind of closure as that was what I was hoping for.
An intriguing use of irony in that Hermione could answer her father's question honesty, yet she is avoiding the issue by dwelling on behavior she dreads to share and doesn't have to share.
Author's Response: Thanks on reading and reviewing :) Yeah, I was hoping to show how she is comfortable with people like Ron and Harry, who understand what happened but isn't with people who weren't, no matter how much she loves them. Glad you liked it!
Summary: All these years, Hermione has been waiting for this and there is only one person who really understands why.
This is quite lovely; your references to the previous Christmas during the Horcrux quest contrasts nicely with Harry and Hermione's conversation in front of the Weasley fireplace. I hope you have other before-and-now stories waiting to be written. Nice job!
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and reviewing :) I'm glad you liked this! I may have something that is a bit like a before-and-now but not really somewhere actually... Anyway, thank you!