Laughing so hard, or trying to be silent so as not to wake anyone. Fun ending, and so like the twins. Nice work on older DA member, though where is the order?
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I'm glad you enjoyed this one. The older DA members have hooked up with the Order, but this story simply concentrates on the twins. -N-
The problem? Well, let's see. One of her seven possible players is an utter klutz at Quidditch. Two others are often too busy with their school Quidditch teams to practice hard during the school year. And then there's just the little matter of getting to the finals, facing up against a team that's won two years running and isn't afraid to play dirty, and getting her team through the game unscathed...
"We'll win," she says. "We're going to prove that we’re the best team in East Anglia.”
People scoff. But her team believes - and that's all that really matters.
I like this story, but it's been a while since I read it last time. I can't wait for a new chapter, when will it come? Well done with placing the story so that there will be no Weaslys or Potters around. Great characters you've made, carry on.
Author's Response: Ack, sorry. I'm really awful at updating WIPs. The best I can say is "maybe sometime." (This? Is why I should not plan long chaptered WIPs). I am fond of these characters and their story though, so maybe I'll work on more soon (no promises >.>).
I have really been looking forward to the next update form your hand. It hasn't disappointed when it came. Nice story.
Author's Response: Thank you. Next will be a chapter of Hunters and Prey, unless it's a one-shot about Draco and Ginny (I'm not joking - but that's an ampersand, not a slash). -N-
I've read this story though in two days now, ended reading last night and review this three days after starting on the first chapter.
At first I thought that they, Scorpius and Lily, realised their feelings for each other to fast. It was only after a few chapter. I had though they had to fight their own prejudices before the would become a pair. Well I continued reading curios to what the big problem was then, I mean you have written a 22 chaptered story so there must be a problem or something to drive the story. When I noticed the problem, I though it was a nice change from many a Lily/James story I've read, I mean it was something in that style I had expected a first.
I really liked who Harry was quite easy to convince, I mean he was more willing to accept the relationship than Ginny or Lily's brothers. The whole way Teddy becomes Scorpius friend is really nice, thank you. The whole Malfloy affair, was very well done. I can't say that I liked the events, but it was written in a convincing way, though Narcissa is acting in another way than in the Forest with Voldy and Harry. But then again, she wants her grandchild to marry a proper girl, and she was a death eather so she is "Feed up" with the blood ideas.
Thank you for the read, it is the first Scorpius/Lily I've read, at least as far as I remember, and though I think that Scorpius/Rose is somewhat intended by J.K. Rowling, this story is know in my favorite folder.
Ps. Is there a banner to this story? If there is, I would like to see it,
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the review and for reading the whole story despite the initial reservations.
Okay, first off, then yes it did appear as if they got together and realised their feelings for each other quite quickly, but actually I think Scorpius was honest enoughto know that for a long time it was lust he felt. he's astute enough to realise that they might not have a happy ever after, which is why he was unsure what he wanted more - Lily or being an Auror. Second, I don't think the NG kids have the same prejudices. Scorpius might dislike Albus at the beginning (and vice versa) but it's not hatred, it's rivalry. He doesn;t have that same hatred as Draco had at that age because his upbringing, thanks to him mum and no Voldemort around is vastly different. Thirdly, Narcissa in the Forset wanted to save Draco. I don't think she would have cared about Harry, as long as she s=could save her son. She's still prejudiced, imo. Fourthly, mmm, JK might have hinted at Rose/Scorpius, but that's practically become canon, and I think the reaction between Ginny and Lucius is more interesting to explore - largely because it hasn;t been written about as much. Fifthly, thank you again for the review. I do have a banner somewhere, (actually I have two because it won the 2011 QSQ for Best NG) but I can't find it at them moment - eeep.
One thing I was pleased you said was that it wasn't like a James/Lily. there were a number of places where I agree it could have veered off that way, but I was extremely conscious that I didn;t want this turning into another Marauder type fic, or a Trio reincarnated fic, so I'm pleased you picked up on the differences. Thanks again ~Carole~
This isn't what I would call bedtime reading, it's to dark. As is the rule when it comes to your writing I like it.
In the first section, you really begin to show more of how bad Al is, not that it left out before, because it isn't, but you just kind of gives it a bit of extra. James is still not doing anything, but he is waking up, nice done. Especially James is really well done in the chapter, he is realistic and understandeble, something I've had a bit of problems with I must admit. Al - well dear Al, I can't talk about you, I just hope you get better. I keep my fingers crossed for you, Al, and for Nick.
Flynn, I just don't hope he has preformed a spell the makes him a squib. I hope this will be something that looks different than it is.
Thanks for the chapter, looking forward to more. I know that I'll find some time to reread it when it's totally finished, but I don't think I can pull myself though that hell before I know that there are some kind of end, and when that end is.
Welcome back. I appreciate that this story is getting updated again, but I must also say that your writing style have changed a bit in the meantime - it is not quite so dark.
The first part reminds me a bit of the first chapter, I mean they are all hurt, only Nick is missing now.
James is really becoming interesting, I hope he somehow becomes part of the solution to help Nick and make it Slytherin a house people would like to be a part of.
Looking forward to next chapter (hopefully not so long in the making) as the story is turning now.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! I'm not sure my writing style has changed so much as I'm luring you int a false sense of security. There will be plenty of darkness to go around, I promise. :) I'm glad you're seeing the parallels between both parts of this story, and I'm thrilled you're adjusting to this James. There's a lot more to come, and the next chapter is already in the queue!
Happy Christmas indeed! Not!!
Really I like this story, although it sort of pisses me off right now - why this got this far it the matter. I can somewhat sympathise with Albus as part of mu family has been in hospital from time to time, although it didn't look quite this bad. (Heart problems, and such.)
I wonder why Ginny is falling apart, must have something to do whit the Chamber, the seventh year and the Battle, or that she thinks part of it is her, or Harry and hers fail as they didn't get their son to talk. Well I'll see.
By the way; you pull 3th person of just a well as 1st person in this story I think. Carry on (though I hope with less time to next chapter).
Thanks for the read.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. :) The story is pissing people off right now, but in all honestly that's what I want (in a slightly sadistic sort of way). It means you're attached to the characters, and want it to get better. (which it *might*) Being in the hospital, not knowing how someone is, is the worst feeling in the world, imo. I understand, and I"m glad you do, too.
I'm glad you mentioned Ginny. Much will be explained in time ... but their family is sort of crumbling. I'm glad you liked the 3rd person, and the next chappie shall be in the queue shortly! Thank you for the review!
WOW. This is powerful. Really powerful. I've just given myself time to read the whole story up till now today, and I just can't wait until the next chapter. I've seen this story pop up between the new stories a lot of times, but never really gotten around to reading it, because I didn't think it was my kind of story, or that it would be as spectacular it has proved. How wrong I was.
This is not how I imagine Hogwarts after the war, but you really pull it of very believable. How the Slytherins have formed some sort of family, and keep united, maybe more loyal that the Huffelpuffs, because they have to do that to survive. Their goal about winning the house cup is great, but I can't wonder if it'll work out, the always gets dogged points.
I like how you have build all of the characters. I also like how Nick has some black secret that she doing the story have told to three people, and two(?) more of the major bi-persons in the story knows some of it, but that we don't. Way to drive your reader mad ;-) Actually the hole plot about Nicki is great, hope she stays alive and keep going to Hogwarts.
I like that you've written most of it from Nicki's point of view, but also shows a bit from Albus (and Owens) point of view when it is necessary to keep up with, or helps to progress the story.
Thanks for the read.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review! :D
I'm so glad you took the time to read this. There is a lot that goes on in the next chapter, and I know what you mean. I don't want to sound cocky or proud or anything, but it seems that there is no in between with this story. People either hate it or love it. I'm so glad that you like it. :) I know that this is a dramatic image of Hogwarts post-war, but I think that there is a slight chance that this could happen. Maybe in a less dramatic fashion, but I think that there would definitely be hostility towards Slytherins. I also love how close they are. :) It just makes it seem that not everything is horrible.
The plan may or may not work out. You'll see why in a few chapters. ;) But I'm so glad that you like the characters. They have given me grief. I sometimes think that Nick is just too much, or Piper is too sweet or perfect. I know that the secret is killing everyone, but I just have to say: MOST OF IT IS REVEALED NEXT CHAPTER. (caps needed) As for her return to Hogwarts/fate ... let's just say the next chapter might create a mutiny. As for the POV's, pretty soon it'll turn to 3rd. Again, I can't say why. *sighes* Thank you so much for the amazing review, and I can't tell you how much it means to me that you like it!
I can't believe that this story didn't win a QSQ-award. Well, now that I've said that on to the review.
I've kept reading this story, even though I've only had sporadic internet access, that is why I haven't reviewed for some time. I must say that I think you have portrayed the charterers very well -they are believable, and I hate Justin right now. How sorry I am for what has happened to Nick, and I hope it will become better, though it seems that Nick is dead. You better save the rest of the orphans. Thanks for the read, and I hope for a soon update.
Author's Response: Wow. Thank you so much for the review. :)
I'm glad that this is believable; it's one of my main worries. (And if you didn't hate Justin I'd be concerned :P). And don't give up on Nick yet ... you never know what might happen (as for the others, (especially the Slytherins) I can't tell you if it will get better or not. It should, though ... eventually. Maybe the last chapter. :) ) Thanks for the amazing review!
Ellie (and I am just about to update now)
Thank you for another chapter.
This was nice, I like to see that there is hope for the Potter family after all. Just hope that Albus will last long enough to be helped before he breaks.
Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I'll put the next chapter in the queue tomorrow, and we'll see how long both the Potters and Albus last... *cackles*
This is really great. I like how Albus/Piper make a move forward in their relationship, that cheers this chapter so much up. But I can see what you said in your last respons about the Potter family falling apart... - Because James has turned right evil against Albus instead of just ignoring and maybe stopping the worst tournament from others.
It was really power-full when they all - the Slytherins - rose from their benches and walked out on the feast/speech/comments.
If I hold this against a Phonix, like it's written in the description, I think that the fire did burn out in the last to chapters and in this chapter they are cooling down and the bird is beginning to form under cover.
I must say that this reads very much like a great thriller you could buy in a bookstore, if it wasn't because it happens at Hogwarts and in Harry Potter's univers.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for your amazing review. :)
When writing this, Albus/Piper made me smile. I think their cuteness will help balance out a lot that's going to happen in future chapters *cough*. I'm glad you caught the advance in the Potter family, because a storm is coming. And one must not forget what might be going through the other Potters' heads ...
I'm glad you liked that moment. I actually hadn't planned it, but now I can't see it any other way. No fights, no yelling, just leaving.
Again, kudos for catching the phoenix. It does follow the plot of that. :) Thank you so much for the amazing review, and I'm so glad you like it.
This makes for dark reading, but it's well written. I like the fact that their friends form the other houses are now a part of the fight for Nick. James is well written in this chapter and Rose defending him is nice - reminds me of when the trio fell out with each other, but this is deeper wounds. The most touching part of the chapter was the beginning, how Al and Piper are all mentally fucked up because of this. They will soon need a ward too, Piper especially.
Do is see some ambers beginning to glow stronger and stronger?
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review. :) I see you see that I'm starting to tie some more minor characters together, and yes, James is going to be a pretty strong presence for at least the next few chapters. And I've just hit the tip of the iceberg on Al, but yes, some ambers are glowing. Thanks again!
WOW! This was a bit mind-blowing. I like how Albus and Pipe and of course all the other friends keep worrying. Harry and Ginny's reaction, well I'm not entirily sure about that one, I like to think that they would know about how hard Slytherins and the orphanage have is, and I have thought so through the story. But you pull it off. A first I thought that it was after the last chapter, it was first when Harry said it was Christmasday that it fell into place.
There is a nice pace in this chapter, the things are described just enough when things happens fast, and more fully when the pace is more slow, nice.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review.
I know Nick has it bad, but sometimes it feels like Albus, Piper, and Owen have it worse. It's one thing to go through something as traumatic as that, but for other people to have to watch you and not be able to help ... well, you'll see some more of that in the chapters to come. :) I know that Harry and Ginny aren't the best, but more will be explained later (as in a good five, six chapters away). I hope it gets better then. :) And I'm glad the timeline was mysterious ...
Thank you so much for the lovely review. <3
This is AcaciaCarter of Hufflepuff, writing for the Great Hall Cotillion of 2012.
Nice work. I like the Percy in this story, but doesn't fell that he's all that real, maybe a little more controlled and stiff than I've imagined him? Well I can't pinpoint it... No matter, thanks for the story.
You are the only exception
All Ellie has ever wanted do in life is be a journalist. But her dream is put in jeopardy when she has to secure an interview with the one person who refuses to be interviewed: Harry Potter. Her only chance at getting the story is to befriend a very eager young man, who also happens to have the last name Potter.
I like this story, but I'm waiting for a update. I think it's a good charater you have build for Ellie.
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the review, and I'm going to try to update sometime in the near future. :) -Emma
Uhh. Now I can't help but say that that's a cliffhanger. Why will I have to wait until nextg update to know the truth, or even longer maybe...
I haven't read your other stories, but I can't fully make Seamus as the same as in the books or the other persons for that matter...
Author's Response: Umm, not totally sure what you mean about Seamus. I have kept his close friendship with Dean to the fore, but in other stories I added the Parvati dynamic - plus the fact that he dated Lavender. There's not a great deal we know about him except that he was a Gryffindor and had a stubborn streak. I hope that's evident in the story.
Yeah, cliffhanger - I do like them - hee hee. Update should be here at the weekend as this is all written. Thank you ~Carole~
Daphne Greengrass had until her twenty-first birthday to pick a husband, or her parents would choose one for her. With only months to go before the deadline, she found herself with a perfect suitor in Theodore Nott.
But when a freak pregnancy landed her in the care of cranky Healer-in-Training Michael Corner, Daphne started to realise that things she thought she knew were slowly being turned upside-down. And what she thought she knew about Michael Corner began to dissolve into something different entirely.
This story has been nominated for two 2012 Quicksilver Quill Awards: Best Non-Canon Romance and Best Post-Hogwarts Story.
This story has also been nominated for a 2013 Quicksilver Quill Award: Best Post-Hogwarts Story.
I really like this story. It's not that much we know about Mongus in from the books, but it's enough. Your charaters are well made, and the storyline are, as well as I can tell, well though out. Pretty fast update by the way. I look forward to the next chapter.
One of my favourite things to write about is that which has little or no canon fulfilment, giving stories to things that might not have one. This story was supposed to be a quick romance with a bit of background, but I really enjoyed adding plot and substance to it.
Thank you for reading, and there should be an update in another few days. It's already written, so it's just waiting to be posted. :)
After last chapter I knew that Michael where in love with Daphne, I mean it's pretty obvious when someone wants to hate you. It's said that hate can only exist if there have/are been love. What I hadn't seen was that Daphne would find it so soon, that the piece would fall into place in this chapter, I though there would go a few more chapters.
By the way, still like this story, and I can't wait for your updates. I often check this story in the morning, GMT-1 + summer time, which makes GMT.
Well, 'love' is a weird thing to term Michael's feelings toward Daphne. He drew her picture and obsessed over her and then started to idealise her. He fell in love with the idea of her, but wanted to hate her when he found out what she was really like up close. That was why he was so hostile toward her at first; she reminded him of a shattered illusion. No one likes to see their own errors in judgement.
This whole story had to happen in a brisk manner, or else the characters would have to sit and think too long about what they were doing. Daphne wouldn't have volunteered at St Mungo's if she hadn't acted on the impulse to do so.
Anyway, off to respond to the other review!
PS. I'd really like the way Terry act in this chapter, and Theo too. What a story Michael have to carry around, though I can't quit see why he blames himself. I mean Michael were fighting too, right? How could he have stopped Tony kill that girl. What Michael could have done something about, and that is only maybe, is Tony's guilt. I mean maybe Michael could have prevented Tony's suicide if he hadn't been in the hospital, wounded. I hope we here more about why Michael have a hard time.
I take it you understand why Terry was so disparaging toward Daphne at first. He knew about Michael's fixation and was certain Daphne was messing with his head. He only opened up to her when he was sure she honestly cared about Michael and his well-being.
I know I touch upon this at some point in the story, but it's not spoilery just to tell you now. Michael feels guilty because he was training to be a Healer, learning how to help people, and he couldn't even help his own best mate. He didn't even notice that Tony was in that much distress. Michael just thought he had some mental problems, but not the kind that made him want to kill himself. THAT is a burden to carry around, the idea that he COULD HAVE noticed that something needed to happen but he didn't. It made him sick just to look at himself. And yes, it made him prickly and blunt.
I think you mistake the timeline. When Tony killed himself, it was over three months after the battle, and Michael was no longer hospitalised and was already in the Healer programme. That was why Daphne connected the dots about Tony's death date and the current date in the story. She figured it out.
Anyway, another update will come in a couple days. I'm glad you're enjoying the story and that some things were clarified for you. :D
Uhh. What a cliffhanger. I think that.. Well now that would spoil it, wouldn't it? Anyway's I'll know if I'm right in a 3 days time right?
I really like the plot development. The way Daphne had to leave Michael. Then when she did visit Theo, and thank what you did there about the house and his commitment to Terry. Then the beach, again a great cliffhanger. I like the secret her mother have, and that now Daphnes too. How her sister acts, well, I think is believable, mostly because of sister-love. I also like who you have your readers wonder who is became so skilled at wandering around. Then the cliffhanger after some intense writing.
This chapter is especially well written: We know what going on, but it's kept sober. I're read stories on this site, where it weren't as sober, even though they didn't get that far into it, if you know what I mean.
Just one more thing, your characters are really well developed. They are fleshed out in the best way possible, keep doing that to future stories.
By the way, I can see that you had a birthday last weekend, congratulation.
I'm glad you enjoy the story and that you have theories about what's going on. This was one of the few times I pre-plotted a story and just had to carry it out, so it's interesting to contemplate the story from a perspective of not knowing for sure what will happen next.
Daphne, to me, is a character who could have so many different stories. She could've been one of Pansy's pack; she could've been like Blaise Zabini - influential but not interested in the politics within Slytherin; she could be like Theo was in canon - a loner and unaffiliated. I thought some mesh between the first two was what fit her best in my eyes. And, naturally, I wanted there to be some skeletons in her family closet, since old, rich families seem to have them in slews.
I think you have touched upon the things in the story which I am happiest with, so that makes me feel sure that I've accomplished what I set out to do with this fic. It's almost over, so your theory will be confirmed or disproved soon enough. I hope you enjoy the result nonetheless.
Thanks for your visit!